Who Feels Good About Their Body?

I don't recognize myself from 'who I once was'.... but I still feel good about my body. It's bigger and rounder and a bit more gravity-affected, and yet, I know that not accepting myself at this point in time would be a LOT worse for me emotionally.

At this point, I find attractiveness comes from within. People who like themselves, who like others, who can genuinely smile in a friendly way.... that is attractive to me. No one I know in this world looks like me. Isn't that a great thing? I am not a cookie-cutter 'accepted by mass media' beauty. What I find attractive about myself is that A. I still like to look nice (for myself, I like a tidy appearance); I know that what I have to offer is so much more than what ONE organ of my body (my skin) looks like; I choose not to make dietary or activity changes based on what I 'should' be doing and more on what makes me feel good.

I also know that my husband still finds me very attractive and desirable and that I'm a good person most of the time. I think we all have days when we don't fit into that old pair of jeans or feel like we might need a map to ever find our waistlines again, or that the wrinkles, etc just don't go away--- I'm okay with all of this. Acceptance is a lovely practice. Some days, my body hurts. I am getting older and I accept that. It doesn't stop me, it's just something I need to be aware of, staying within the 'what feels doable' zone with physical activities so I'm still moving but don't hurt myself.

Overall, I'd encourage you to focus on your inner life too. No two hearts are the same, no two brains are the same, and what's considered 'attractive' out there is extremely subjective. There's a sameness with many of the women considered 'beauties' out there. That's okay. I personally find that boring-- but then again, I find a wide variety of people very beautiful because I know them, and I know their hearts. Let people know yours-- that's where our true beauty is.

I'm in my late 40s and finally have reached a point where I'm ok with my body. Sure, there's cellulite on my thighs and the tummy that won't go away entirely. But it beats the alternative. Any time I start to think negatively, I remind myself that there are friends of mine who passed away far too young who would have loved to have my "problems." I also remember having body issues in my 20s, when I was super thin and didn't really have legitimate issues. Now that I'm older, I realize there are much more important things in life than appearance. I appreciate every day I'm here and healthy.

I have a hunch you are just beautiful. Feeling attractive has nothing to do with what is on the outside. I felt dreadfully ugly when I was young, slim, had my own hair color-nothing from a box and tried to starve myself to look like what society established as attractive. I never got there because even that doesn't exist. I do know however, I now am almost closed to sixty, had uterine cancer and color my hair and haven't done a sit up in quite awhile. A brush with cancer can change a lot of things...So now- I feel beautiful. I also found that some don't think I'm beautiful and some do. I don't have to prove myself to anyone anymore. And the decision that attractiveness is in a set mold is just a myth. Look at those pictures they are currently showing on the internet about women from all different countries. There is about at least a thirty pound difference in what is beautiful from the Asian countries to the Latin countries to our own. There are some who think blond is beautiful and some who treasure dark curly hair-some like long hair and some enjoy short. I urge you to close your eyes to all the standards that are out there and realize that you must be someone's 'beautiful' and you must determine for yourself that you are own. It is all opinion. Enjoy your life. Perhaps you always thought certain people were flawless or perhaps wished a certain 'type' was attracted to you. Please do not despair over what is 'attractive' anymore. Enjoy food. See colors! Look around you. There are many species besides human and if you see through different eyes-all are creatures of joy that we observe not always because they are beautiful but because they are living their lives without that pressure.

ETA: I feel good and life has been good to me and continues on and will be 69 my next birthday. Still like to get out and do yard work which I still enjoy. As a caregiver I do things for myself to keep my identity and self because you can become lost doing caregiving.

Original: I find that real beauty comes from within. The cover or wrapper (outside body) can and does changes from the teens to the 80s. We women have babies, gain weight/lose weight, have surgeries, our skin stretches and sometimes does not return to "normal". Our hair changes from light to dark and gray/silver.

Enjoy where you are now with your body. Make the best of it. Take care and wear clothes that give you a flattering figure or image. Sometimes that means changing all the colors in your wardrobe. Get a hair cut for now and don't worry about losing your long hair for a bob or shorter layered look. Live in the present. Yesterday is in the past and tomorrow is not here yet.

Having healthy scares can change you mentally, physically and all the other things. Take time to be good to yourself and stop and smell the roses along the way. Walk barefoot in the grass or sand and have fun.

My body is a bit lopsided now from surgery (breast) and I have a scar on my back from lung surgery but my daughter tells me to wear them proudly. Leave my gray hair alone and wear it proudly for coming through all of the wars of life and continuing to live. Dress size has now stabilized to a 12/14 - never was a 6 or 8. Hubby says I still look good and that's all that matters to me. I am not running in a beauty contest at my age.

Be happy and that will draw people to you. Be pleasant speak to people you do not know and say "Hello." It might just make their day.

the other S.

PS We are our worst critique. Go have a lemonade or sweet tea and enjoy.

I would love to have the self confidence of some of the other women on this board. But I don't. I grudgingly accept the body I have now, but I don't love it.

Have you ever met someone who exudes sexy? They are vivacious, confident, quick witted and come in all shapes and sizes. They know who they are, know what they've got and aren't afraid to turn heads.

I feel good about my body. It's after pregnancy induced sciatica and a lot of pain and discomfort, my back is nearly better, I can move freely, walk comfortably, and have found my smile and humor again. Baby's now weaned, my hormones are settling, and the last of the baby weight is dropping off. Hubs is sad to see it go. I am happy I feel fit enough to soon get regular exercise. Does my head a world of good to get that endorphin rush.

Enjoy your imperfections, others will too.

Best
F. B.