Who Does the Money in Your House?

Updated on May 25, 2013
J.B. asks from Marrero, LA
17 answers

So, since we have been married for almost seven yrs. now, my husband has managed the money. He would always come to me with any purchase that we needed or he wanted and make sure I was cool with spending it. So he wasn't a tyrant bc he did run purchases by me first, but I always said yes to whatever, except when he wanted to buy older cars and flip them, I just didn't want to mess with all that! The rub came at times when I would want things and would not check in. That is not right on my part but then I do most of the spending bc I do all the day to day with our kids and do all the grocery shopping, schooling, entertaining etc. So it was hard for me to get up with him for every purchase when our lives were super hectic, which is all the time!!!! We do have a budget but you know how life gets....Anyway, all the details aren't the thing, but now I am the money manager, and so far I love it. Less stress, we have agreed on goals and all that but it just works better this way I think, I guess long term will really tell. So how do you guys do the moola?

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answers from Wausau on

I handle the details of bill paying and budgeting, making plans, etc. We talk about it. Or mostly, I talk and he nods as his eyes glaze over. :-)
We're refinancing the house. I'm the one that reads all the papers and talked details with the bank, even though he is the signer.

It's just part of my job in the relationship. I'm good at it and I like it. He's perfectly capable, but would rather not.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

I have a certain amount of money that I get and that's what I spend on food and stuff. If we buy anything it's probably something we really have been wanting or needing so I am often glad he got it.

He manages his money and the money I get for child support is what I spend on the stuff I get.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Detroit on

I make sure the bills get paid, I use the money I earn plus he gives me a portion of his paycheck. All the accounts I pay directly on-line out of my checking account, so it's easier, plus he's not good about paying stuff on time - he has his credit card, which I swear he always pays by calling in the payment the day it's due. We have separate bank accounts and credit cards - he is responsible for his stuff and me for mine. Because we both work and earn a salary, it's easier for me to justify spending what I want to spend on whatever. The bigger things, like the retirement and college savings funds, we manage together. He's much better with numbers though, so if it's something big, like a car or home refinancing, he can figure out what is the best deal.

It's good you figured out what works better for you - one thing I've seen couples do is each spouse has a "slush fund", which could be whatever amount they agree on, that one can spend on whatever they want without checking in with the other.

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answers from Chicago on

I'm our financial planner. He does our taxes, I take care of everything else.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

I'm a single parent, so of course I handle the money. However, if I ever were to get married, I would definitely not give it up. Maybe I would share, but that's it. I am too much of a control freak. :)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Erie on

I take care of the budget. He takes care of filing taxes. His "slush fund" money comes from the tips he gets at work (that's how good of a chef he is, the customers often leave a little for him or the server tips him out for going above and beyond the call of duty). Basically it pays for his beer lol. All of our money goes into one account, and I have control of it. This happened after years of money mismanagement on his part and I finally had to take all the control away from him or we would have ended up on the streets. He has NO sense of how to budget money. It works for us.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I have ALWAYS done the money. Always have, always will. It works out great for us. I am really good with numbers and enjoy it, I even do our taxes...and he hates the idea of having to be responsible for paying the bills and he really appreciates that I do it. I am a SAHM and we both look at it as part of my 'job' and how I contribute to the household...besides being Mommy/Maid/Chef/Taxi Driver/Entertainment Coordinater and the like!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

my dh. it was me at first, for no other reason than i took a couple of accounting courses in college so 'knew' how to do it. but after i ruined our credit, we decided that my expertise was not up to the task.
my dh straightened us out, got us back up to triple A credit, and figured out how we could buy a house. 2 decades later he still does all that. it stinks, because he works REALLY hard, and it would be nice if i could take the burden of the bookkeeping from him.
but i suck at it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

We are both involved and we communicate about finances for both our personal and our company.

I am the one who runs our company finances (CFO).... run the payroll, AP/AR, etc. Therefore, I am the one that gets the money in the bank and pay bills but we are both involved with what we spend. I have always been the one with the checkbook and the one to pay the regular bills. We don't set a budget, we just know where we stand.

For instance, he just told me yesterday that he ordered 6 yards of dirt to be delivered this morning which is about $325. This is the 6th load since Feb. he works hard on our yard. Last week was prom.... he is aware that I paid $500 for a limo for daughter and her date to keep them from driving downtown Dallas and get them to/from all events safely plus I paid $200 for professional photographer fees prom pictures, not including the pictures I bought.

We don't give each other "permission" for expenditures, we just communicate what we are doing so we are both aware of where everything stands.

On the other hand, hubby is more experienced with investing, he's the one with the MBA, better numbers person and good forecaster so he is more involved with personal investments and our financial advisor etc but I am fully aware of everything they elect to do as far as any additional investing and he keeps me informed.

So I guess you could say, we tag team the moola around here!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

My husband makes the money.
I manage it.
I pay all the bills, all the "fun" things, school, presents....all of it. He just comes home and hands me the money.
I know he keeps a bit for himself for coffee in the morning and whatnot. Doesn't faze me.
We talk about big purchases and make them together.
But, for the most part, he trusts that I know what needs to be paid and will make his money do it!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

I control the money. Our money goes into a joint account, from which all of the bills are paid.

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answers from San Antonio on

He is CEO and I am CFO...he makes it, I manage it...it just really stresses him out to pay the bills and wonder how to make it all work.

I make it work... get everything paid, put money in savings, keep track of debt (and work on getting them paid off sooner).

Our books are totally open and we both know the passwords...he is free to double check my work if he wants. Mostly he just asks do we have money for "whatever" and I say yes or let me check or no...or do you want to take it out of savings??

He used to do the money management and he was always stressed out about it...sense I took over he is relaxed and knows it gets done.

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answers from Washington DC on

We both do.

We have a his, mine and ours. We have our "allowances" - that's our "free" money that we don't have to account for.

The house/our account is used ONLY by both of us and ONLY via a written check.

Have we fought about money? yes. We got rid of credit cards and really haven't had much to fight over - we are pushing back and forth over house repairs...but we are resolving them.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

My husband is terrible with money so I manage it. He's getting better with understanding that really, our bills and obligations come before him just buying something because he wants to, but it's taken 10 years to get there. He had a pattern of whenever he got upset with me about something, instead of dealing with it, he'd go out and buy something ridiculous like a boat or a dirtbike that we couldn't afford. He once bought a car to spite me. He would end up having to sell these items and usually sold for less than what he paid. Infuriating.

Anyway...I handle all of our day to day and longterm finances, including insurance, investments and long-term savings like college and retirement.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Albuquerque on

He makes the money and I manage the money. We have one joint account so it just goes in there and I pay the bills, groceries, and everything else from it. After the bills are paid sometimes I'll tell him how much we have left and if he spends anything he needs to run it by me so that I can reconcile it in the checkbook. Works for us!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

We talk about money frequently. (Actually talk, not argue :) We communicate our needs, goals, wants, etc. We have an open dialogue about money. BUT, when it comes to managing, budgeting, investing, saving...that totally falls on me. I am skilled in that area, and my husband hates it and isn't good at it. We are a team and we communicate, but money is better left in my hands!!

He makes the money and I make some money with my job at home. It's OUR money, but I take care of it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

The mortgage comes out of my paycheck directly. Everything goes in our joint account and I pay all the bills, utilities, and groceries. My husband only really spends money on gas, occasional lunches, and $20 in spending money a week. There's no restriction on that at all. If he wants to buy something, he does. Usually we talk about any purchase over $100. I tell him all the time he's a kept man. lol

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