Whiny 5 Year Old

Updated on July 03, 2013
T.E. asks from Santa Barbara, CA
9 answers

my 5 year old always whines to get what he wants and he isn't a very good actor i might say, but nothing i do can stop it. I have tried looking face to face talking calmly or threatening to take things away and i do take them away he just crawls on me and sobs and try's not to laugh. what can i do?

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answers from Dallas on

Don't respond.

I am in K and 1st grade a lot and we get some real doozy whiners. We just tell them to go back to their desk and when they can speak in a First grade voice come back and try again.

My now 18 yr old was a whiner when she was little. I had a phrase I used EVERY time she whined... it was.. "Wendy Whiner go away, come again another day". Sometimes I felt like she would believe her name was Wendy because I said that so much for what felt like so long.

Long story short, she is 18.5 now, headed to college and if I say the word "Wendy" she knows EXACTLY what I am talking about. It is a laugh now but back then it was awful.

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answers from Chicago on

When he whines, just say, I don't speak whinese. If of have something to say, you'll need to find a normal voice. Do not respond to the whines.

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answers from Detroit on

Hi Tori,

Julie is right on the money. "When you can address me in a proper tone of voice, I will respond to you." Then walk away. He won't feel abandoned, it's not like your getting in the car and driving away. He will know that you have established a boundary and be grateful for the guidance, so will his teachers when he starts school. ;-) 5 is so fun. Enjoy it!!! S.

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answers from Chicago on

I second all the advice. Just let him know you will not respond until he can use a regular tone of voice.

We used to say "we can't understand you" but she knew we could. So we just said "I don't answer a whiny voice. Please use a normal tone and tell me what you want."

My daughter is not a whiner, we nipped it in the bud! She will argue sometimes, or make a case for what she wants, but does not whine.

We also had to tell her that "no means no, and if you ask again you will lose a privilege." Usually that is the CAUSE of the whining. The child wants something you have said no to.

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answers from Chattanooga on

When my dd whined at me, I told her I couldn't understand her when she talks like that, and that I would listen when she can use her big girl voice. Then I ignored her until she spoke normally.

She is 3, and hasn't whined at me in about a year now. :)

As for the crawling and crying, I would pick him up, put him in his room, and tell him he can come out when he is done; at least that's what works for my DD's tantrums.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Not sure what might work for your little guys but I invite my child to remove herself from my presence until she can speak to me in a way that works for me...I'm the mommy so I'm the boss is my rule..I'm very "fair" and understand emotional moods with my children but just like myself, when I'm feeling emotional I remove myself until I'm able to communicate effectively and respectfully. Kids need our attention and to effectively get what they need or want needs to be addressed in a way that makes us "want" to get it for them...haha :) Not to promote manipulation in any way, but honestly, I rarely feel compelled to give in when I'm annoyed.

Best of luck to you...

PS. it's nice to try to reason with a 5 yr old but I don't like to let my 5 yr old think she's ever in charge of the situation when whining or attitude is involved...I literally look at her, tell her to stop once and if she doesn't then I let her know she can remove herself from my presence until she is ready to be respectful...she pouts and walks away saying I'm mean and I say thats ok if she feels that way but that's what's happening....she generally comes back and asks again and we move on...Works for us :)



answers from Cumberland on

Make him practice until he ask correctly.



answers from Reno on

With my kids, I always said, calmly, "I can't understand you." I wouldn't respond unless they spoke politely. I had to walk away quite a few times, because if you stand there repeating, the child will also stand there repeating. Once they get the idea that they get NO answer and NO attention, they do it less often.



answers from Honolulu on

Tell him, he is whining. That he KNOWS he is whining.
That you know he is whining.
That you KNOW he is faking it to get what he wants.
That is he can't fool you.
That acting like that is not nice.
And then walk away.
Tell him, he chooses how he talks.
But you won't put up with whining.
If he wants/needs something, he has to do it, properly.
And that, you KNOW he knows how.

I am very blunt with my kids at times.
When they are faking it, I tell them I know it.
I tell them, "You can't fool me, I know what you are up to. Shape up."
And then I walk away.
And they apologize.

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