Which Should Be Completed First?

Updated on May 30, 2009
D.A. asks from Lake Geneva, WI
21 answers

My daughter just turned 3 a few weeks ago. I am a teacher and am completing my last few days of school right now before the summer. In the next few weeks, I will be needing to potty train and get rid of the pacifier. My question is to find out if anyone has any input on which should be done first. I'm worried that if I potty train first, she will rebel or regress when I go to take the nuk away. Any facts or opinions supporting one or the other?

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would do the pacifier first, my son had one until he was 3.7 (but he's also HFA (high functioning autistic) and it just had to disappear, literally I just threw them in the trash one day and they never came back.
Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Lisa... Often when children become proficient at the toilet, you see a developmental jump in many areas. Also the pacifier is now an emotional comfort. (FYI other moms out there, 13 months is the magic age when sucking ceases to be a biological need, and transfers to an emotional need. If you wean from bottles and pacifiers by 13 months it is not such an issue). Once potty trained, you congratulate her by being a big girl, and together you go to pick out a new big girl friend... (doll, bear what ever) which then can become the focus for her emotional security need. Big girls don't have pacifiers. Point out all the big girls to her and note they do not have one...

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

do both at once, you'll have 2 days of crying cause of the paci and then that will be done, and 4 days of accidents then you will be done with diapers too.

Honestly, cold turkey for both and you'll be fine. Just have a celebration telling him that both are done on a certain date.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

At our wedding, my husband and I wanted to honor our deceased family members (my father and brother, and my husband's father). We chose to light a candle for each of them, and included a little blurb in the wedding program so people knew what the significance of the candle lighting was. My mother lit 2 candles, and my husband's mother lit one. This happened after they were walked down the aisle, before they were seated.

J.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

D.,

Personally, I say to ditch the pacifier first. It's a much easier battle because you have total control. It's simple - paci is gone. Now, I say "it's simple" lightly as a Mom that struggled with having my son ditch it. Search this site for a ton of great ideas on how to get rid of the pacifier.

After she's gotten over that (and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised as to how easy it actually is), then you can work on her being such a "big girl" and the potty.

Good luck!

T.

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

I would do them seperately. it takes my twins longer to get to sleep because they gave up their pacifiers.i would potty train first . It will give her some confidence and make her feel like a big girl . When you get rid of the paci it will be easier if she has just accomplished something. We used the book "how to potty train in one day". It's a potty party for her dolly as she learns then it's your daughters turn. it's very positive and it works like a dream, seriously. Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Chicago on

When my son turned 3 a few weeks ago we prepared him for a week and told him that on saturday the binky fairy was coming and that she was taking the binkies to the babies. We let him go to target pick a gift and told him that we would tell the binkiny fairy what he would like. Saturday he woke up and we asked him what day it was - he said no more binkies. he broke my heart he was such a big boy! we rounded up all the binkies but them in a bag put them on the front door. he went to sleep and the next morning opened the door to find his gift and a thank you note from the binky fairy. he has not looked back since. we start potty training next week when all the diapers are gone and they go to the babies. he wants mickey mouse sheets when he poops on the potty. he gets a lollypop now when he goes pee pee. I hope that helps. Good Luck

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C.W.

answers from Chicago on

I had the same scenario as my 2nd was born when my daughter turned 3, and so I just tried to tackle one at a time. Potty training took longer, binky was really hard the 1st couple of nights then fine. I'm thinking you need potty training done for preschool in the fall so I would tackle that 1st. If not, the bink will get checked off the list faster. We just offered a reward for being a big girl (easy in our case cuz we were planning on putting up a swingset anyway). Good luck to you!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

The pacifier should have been taken away 2 years ago, so I would tackle that first.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

The binky should have been gone two years ago. Children over the age of one do not have the need for sucking all the time. Past this age it becomes an emotional need and is much harder to break. Get rid of the bink first and in a week or two, start introducing her to the potty. You'll be surprised at how fast your "big girl" gets the idea! Good luck.

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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hands down, the nuk.

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

With my son, I did the paci first. Cold turkey. It's just gone, bye2. Two days of fussiness during bedtime, but completely fine after that. Not even asked about it.
Later on we did the potty training.

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J.A.

answers from Chicago on

I think your first instinct is right...get rid of the pacifer first so that she isn't using it to "help" her go potty. Good luck & Enjoy your summer!

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L.H.

answers from Chicago on

I recommend doing both as one can become the excuse/crutch for the other. Make it a party about being a big girl. It is nice weather--I trained my daughter in one day, a week before her second birthday doing this--try it...it has helped a lot of moms. First we let her pick out special big girl undies (no pull ups, they wick moisture). I set her potty chair on my outside deck. Got a big tin can holder filled with hot sudsy water. Set up her play pool and a sprinkler and water balloons. Put her in undies and plastic flip flops. Got a table set up with designer drinks...colored water, capri sun, popsicles, lemonade dyed many colors. And I let her DDDDRIINNKKK a lot. We had plastic glasses and toasted her being a big girl, we toasted her trying to get to the potty, we did a tea party. She peed the pants a couple times before she caught the urge thing, but we soaped up the shoes, rinsed her in suds and then water, and started again. By noon she was getting to the potty chair. She had two accidents the next day (if you are going out and worried, use rubber pants over the undies for the sensation thing). All my friends who used this technique succeeded in a few days. Those who used pull ups had troubles. You have to go full forward, though. No Let's put on a diaper or huggy to prevent an accident in the house. I cleaned up wet cushions two times. It is easy if you do it full force. Then my mom and MIL came over to bring gifts and more big girl undies and made a big fuss. We had a ball! The poop was much easier because she felt those urges for minutes before having to go. For the next month or so, did take her potty chair with us when we visited family, because the big toilet was not as easy for her to go on her own. Good Luck!!!

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

First I must say that my current 3 yr old still has her "plug" for sleeping only. I talked with the dentist at our last visit and he gave me the ok til our next visit...she will then give it to the dentist b/c he said no more plug and trade it in for a gift I have dropped off ahead of time. I like doing this b/c it take it off me and plasces any blame on the dentist. My first did very well with this.

So...I would work on potty training first and in maybe 6mo time take the plug away. Since she is older, I would try a sticker chart earning something she wants or enjoys doing...mine have earned movies and bowling and skating ect... We have had to adjust the chart as we went from just going on the potty and earning a sticker to no "squirts" in the pants and earning up to 2 stickers a day for keeping dry. We also had consequences for not going on the potty..she was old enough to understand everything and when she refused to use the potty and squirted in her pants, we threatened to take lovie and plug away. If it was an honmest accident no consequences but she was refusing to even sit on the potty. We have just completed my 2nds training for during the day...we now have to get her out of her crib...she is going to be a wanderer and I am not ready for it..

Good luck

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

If I were you I would get rid of the pacifier first, it is an easier process (and faster) than potty training. We wrapped ours in wrapping paper and put it in the mailbox to send to a "baby" that needed one. totally worked, after one day it was like it never existed. Potty training on the other hand took a while :) hope this helps...

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O.M.

answers from Chicago on

First of all, I like that you call it a "nuk" - we did too. :)
I potty trained my daughter at just under 3 years old. She still had the nuk (and was still nursing a little bit). She started preschool a month after she turned 3,so I let her keep the nuk for a bit during the transition. Then she stopped breastfeeding pretty much on her own. THough we had talked about being a big girl and not needing the nuk nuk anymore, and read the book Little Bunny's Pacifier Plan, I tried not to put actual pressure on her about it. Then one day she just took the nuk and said - I'm done with this, and put it in the garbage. An hour later she regretted it and I fished it out, cleaned it and gave it back, reassuring her that it was ok to not be quite ready. The next morning she threw it in the garbage and never mentioned it again.

I had worried about her teeth but my dentist said it was not yet a problem so I left it pretty much up to her own personality and sense of timing.

Take what you will from the story - every kid is different so it's hard to know what will work for your family.
good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Chicago on

Oh my gosh, I am in the same boat - or was! My son turned 3 on May 9th. I had decided to do one of the changes over Memorial Weekend when I had my husband to help (I also have a 23 mo old and 3 month old). On May 11th my son declared he was done with diapers. And he was! Amazingly he has only had maybe 3 accidents over the last 2-1/2 weeks! He is still in pullups at night though. Originally I had planned to do the passy first, but now obviously I'll go the other route. I want to give him 1-2 months to get used to being a "big boy" and then will handle the passy elimination. He already decided he will trade in his passy for a truck, so that is the plan. It seems that us parents tend to get more stressed over these issues than the kids - and I am no exception! Good Luck!

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Well I have a boy so did not have to do both at once...

As for the potty training EVERYONE syas that girls are easier than boys and I have NEVER seen a child start Kindergarten with a diaper on....She will get it just make a big deal about "big Girl underwear" which you let her pick out...put them on her and except for pull-ups at night put them on her...plan on staying either close to home or knowing where all bathrooms are on route and at every destination.
but the nuk thing.....we had to 1st make the rule only could have when in bed (no exceptions) had a shelf above his crib and when we got him up HE had to put it "away' on the shelf....after a week or so he noticed a show with starving children and asked if they had nuks to help make them feel better. We told him no and asked if he wanted to send/donate his to the "nuk fairy" to be delivered to one of those kids? He jumped at the chance!! We never had any sleepless nights or hysterics because it was "HIS" choice to let it go and he knows (thinks)it is making another child happy.
I have also heard of people doing a Nuk or pacy mailbox....put all nuks in a manilla envelope and label for either new babies or pacy fairy... have the child "mail" it in special box and then they recieve a cool gift in return

p.s. at almost 8 he still on occasion asks if I think his nuk is still making kids happy......I ALWAYS reassure him that I am sure that it is!!

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V.G.

answers from Chicago on

We are going through the same issue with our daughter, who will be 3 in less than a month. I'm thinking of potty training first because we enrolled her in preschool (she will actually be moving up from the 2 yo room at her day care, which will be less expensive - a big motivation when you have 2 kids in day care!) So we are under the gun to get her trained.

The pacifier will be a huge task. I had her trained to only take it at nap and bedtime, but then made the mistake of giving it to her in the car during our 9 hour road trip last summer. It never left her mouth again without big fits.

I'm going to try some of the things others suggested. Let me know what works for you!!

V.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would throw the paci away now - wait a week or two and then start on the potty training. For potty training, my daughter who just turned 2 really likes her doll who goes pee pee. We put the doll on her potty and then she sits on her potty and they both go pee pee.

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