When Your Husband Is About to Something Super Stupid . . . SWH ADDED

Updated on November 09, 2017
M.6. asks from Woodbridge, NJ
7 answers

So last night, I bought an elliptical machine (used) from a private party. In all fairness, I had no idea how heavy they are. So the guy we bought it from and my husband were barely able to load it (man, it was close, but they got it done) into our truck. I'm racking my brain the whole way home trying to figure out who I can call to come help, but for sure want at least 2 helpers since hubby and one person could barely manage. I called my daughter and husband (who are both bodybuilders) to see if they can come to help, but they are out of town deerhunting and plus it is harvest right now so they are not able to make the 3 hr trip each way to help.

Turns out my husband is coming home early today to move it himself. Yep. All. By. Himself. He was mad I called our daughter and her husband for help. He is mad that I asked him to talk to the neighbors about helping. He is mad I called my mom for ideas of someone(s) that could help.

I'd chalk this up to making him feel less manly - needing help - but that makes no sense. The machine is too big for one person to handle. Period. Even a guy who could deadlift several hundred pounds would need help!

My husband doesn't exercise, is in his 50s, overweight, and had a hernia operation less than 10 years ago . . . there is only one outcome that I can see. I explained to him that if he gets hurt, not only would he be hurt, but it would put us in a terrible position financially, just when we are looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. He just won't listen.

I tried to get help to the house before he gets home today but it is only 9 degrees outside (real feel) with 30 mile an hour wind gusts. Either everyone I know is gone, still at work, hunting or harvesting. I have pleaded, bargained, begged, cried and cajoled. He has gone stone deaf about this whole thing.

So, what would you do? As it stands right now, I think I have to leave while he is trying to do this as it is like a train wreck I just can't watch. I'll have to have my mom come over on standby in case someone needs to call an ambulance but I don't think I can stand by and just watch him do this.

Grrrrr . . . he is SOOOO stubborn!

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I called my daughter and her husband because a) they are professionals at lifting and b) because they aren't going to sue me if they stub their toe coming in the door :) I was hoping they were interested in a visit/dinner/etc. sometime this weekend, which they do about once a month. I was just hoping they could make it this weekend and it just would have sat in the truck until then. Plus, with Friday being a Holiday, I was extra hoping they would be off anyways. And I certainly wasn't calling around behind his back - I assumed when I started calling that he WANTED the help. I didn't realize that he would possibly think this could be a one man job.

I asked him very nicely one more time when he got home if he would reconsider (I wouldn't say that if he got hurt I'd not help him - I'd never not help him if he was injured and he knows it). He wasn't having any of that and he actually threw together a device that allowed him to move the machine by himself. I think he is going to be really sorry tomorrow, but if he needs to hurt his back to feel like a man, well I guess that is on him. At least he didn't need a trip to the hospital (or at least not yet - you hear of people having their back seize up later I guess).

I made him his favorite dinner anyways and all is back to normal.

Oh, I did think about moving the truck! However, I think that would have crossed a line that would be difficult to come back from . . . Plus, I think there is one of those stupid locators so he just would have found it anyways :)

More Answers


answers from Norfolk on

I'd find a local College Hunks Hauling Junk - it's a real company - we've used them before -
and hire a few young guys who can move this heavy thing before my husband has a heart attack or breaks himself or anything else.
If it's really that heavy - he might find he can't budge it on his own.

It's on your truck, right?
So go drive it and park it somewhere else until you've got help lined up to move it.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I wouldn't have called someone 3 hours away! I'd have called the neighbors on my own without asking hubby's permission. I'd sign up really fast for one of those services that does odd jobs. I'd go down to the local garage or the town dump or DPW, anyplace that has workers who do manual labor, and see who wanted to make extra money after the end of their shift. I'd call a local college or high school guidance office and see if they have a job board. If none of that worked, I'd move my truck to a friend's house and get a ride back from her so the machine wasn't there when hubby came home. Otherwise, I'd give hubby his cell phone and tell him to call his own ambulance when he hurts his back or blows out his hernia, and I'd go out to dinner. If he doesn't have anyone to show off for (you), maybe he'll come to his senses.

The truth is, he's not going to be able to budge the thing, so you're going to need all this help later on anyway.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

If he's being that stubborn and irrational tell him go for it if he hurts himself you are not going to be the one to take care of him.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

I like the post that said take the truck and drive it somewhere so that he doesn't know where it is!!! SO WHAT if he doesn't like it! He'll like a pulled back a heck of a lot less! There is NO WAY I'd let my husband do it. I'd put up with a man-tantrum before I'd let him do this. You actually have the power to stop it. Just do it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

Added: Glad it all worked out. Hopefully he won't be in too much pain today :)
The added info made more sense. The 3 hours drive both ways didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but now I get it if they regularly visit. My husband would have just been confused as to why I'd inconvenience anyone (family or otherwise) to that degree over an exercise machine. Thanks for the clarification :)


Oh see ... If I had called people and asked others for help, ya, my husband would not have been happy either. My husband has very healthy self esteem, but mine would not have liked that (especially if I had called my mother, or asked kids to do a 3 hr trip...).

I stay out of that stuff. My husband, if needs be, will ask for help. He would have tried himself first though.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

he's gonna have to learn the hard way....sucks...I know...

I'm sorry!! At least my husband, who had a stroke a year ago, wouldn't do it on his own. Man oh man!! I hope he doesn't mess up his back, re-injure his hernia or worse.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Maybe some teens in neighborhood can help u can always give them money for pizza as a thank you! I hope your husband is ok!! Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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