When Your Child Has Learning Challenges...

Updated on March 20, 2016
O.L. asks from Long Beach, CA
11 answers

My son is 7.5 years old and he's had learning challenges in school. He has an IEP which has been helpful, but i'm feeling like we need to tweak the services because my son is struggling with writing and math. Common core is hard for him. Currently, he is pulled out of class for speech, OT and resource. However, he is in mainstream education most of the day.

For any of you who have children with learning needs, what have you added for support in your IEP? I've talked with the school to see if they feel that he belongs in a different placement and they tell me no. He doesn't have any significant behavioral issues--just learning challenges that have become more obvious over the last months.

Does anyone have experience asking for things through their school district that aren't obvious forms of support?

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter was a mirror reader and writer. I put her in Kumon for the added help and then made her correct her reading and writing mistakes no matter how much she claimed she knew. I understand some cases are different, but we are nearly 4 years after it was identified and she was placed in Kumon and she is on the honor roll in both Kumon and in school. I try to work with her at home as much as possible. In her case, the repetition worked.

Best wishes.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

You may not like my answer, but we ultimately decided to homeschool our son. He was very aware and articulating that school was going "too fast" for him. (He has ADHD-inattentive type, and was in SPED math, his only pull-out.)

One consequence of the move to mainstream in our district is that they have all but eliminated the more structured classrooms (not necessarily B rooms (behavior), but we don't have those either). So, in my son's school, we have a 15% intervention population. That resulted in my son sharing a class with several children who had profound behavioral issues.

When you have a learning disability or need more information-- but aren't acting out behaviorally-- it's hard to get the support you need. My son was basically forgotten in the midst of all this. His teacher was a good teacher, and she spent a majority of the time tending to kids who really did need a smaller, structured setting. These kids aren't bad kids, but the ed system is failing them by not acknowledging that they need more support during the day.

The combination of one-on-one instruction and the lack of chaos at home has been a relief for our son. At school, the teacher was so busy putting out fires that she wasn't able to help the kids who aren't acting out but who needed extra guidance. He was on a behavior plan just for his 'paying attention' issues. :( His SPED math group contained a child who would swear and throw tantrums. Obviously, any aware child would not find that experience to reflect well on their own abilities, and it was very unpleasant for him. Something that was supposed to be helpful quickly became something he dreaded.

Schools are going to be very limited in what sort of support they are willing to offer depending on the district's perception of their special needs kids. Our son went to an "A+" school and still was failed in getting his needs met. When schools claim to mainstream without adequate supports for those students, you get a very confusing configuration of support. Hence our decision to educate our own son in an environment which works far better for him.

Oh, and we are converting his IEP to a PDP (personalized development plan) and will be using a tutor for math, too, instead of the district. I wish we had gone that route earlier-- but it would have only changed the math situation. What's done is done and I think we are on a better path. As Margie pointed out, tutoring is worth the money.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Find ways to work on his needs at home. If he is struggling with reading have him read road signs and billboards as you drive. Teach him how to play simple games such as Dominos and Pyramid Solitaire both games require adding.
When my son was in fifth grade he told me he simply didn't understand the concept of multiplication. I sat him down and explained that it was quick adding. I said if you add 5 + 5 = 10 + 5 = 15 he said yes so then 3 times 5 is 15 or 3 5s = 15. And the light bulb went on .. he finally got it.
I find if I break down the process and explain in simple terms they will get it. Sometimes you need to show how it works.
As parents we are our kids first teachers and we know our kids better than anyone. If the school is not meeting his needs there are so many simple ways to help him learn at home.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I had to tutor my kids a lot. My OT gave me the books to go along with our kid's workbook so that I could show her how to write and correct her where she was having problems. I had to buy them - they weren't covered, but it was worth it.

My friend who's child has an IEP also uses a tutor. So does another friend of mine who's child has Dyslexia. My sister also used tutors over the years for her kids for math.

I know you're asking for services provided through the school district - just wanted to mention tutoring can be worth the money. Good luck :)

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

My son had behavioral as well as learning differences but the behavioral ones amped up as the years went on due to his frustration. Our public school adventure ended up being a nightmare. They just weren't equipped to deal with his needs and we had to go another route. They insisted they were meeting his needs but in 7th grade we had a psychoeducational evaluation and found out he was at a 4th grade level. They had just pushed him through the system rather than deal with him. Just be aware of this in case you see his situation elevating over the years. I wish you guys the best.

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

School doesn't always want to help with additional tweaks when an IEP is in place. In fact a lot of times they only do the bare minimum for the IEP because additional help requires more resources.

My son had an IEP only after school found out that I wasn't willing to have him repeat a grade. They did what they had to do but it wasn't enough so I worked with him a lot at home. By the end of the year he was up to the same level as his peers.

Instead of spinning your wheels trying to get school to do more work with the school and teachers to see what you can do at home to assist and support him. Figure out games to learn math and have him write out grocery lists, reminders notes to family members, etc. If he's having trouble with sentences and letters try getting window markers and writing them on a sliding glass door. That way mistakes can be erased easily and corrections made.

Make it fun for him and don't stress yourself over not being a professional. We are our children's first teacher from the minute they come into the world. The lack of training doesn't matter. You will do great.

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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Well, my daughter didn't exactly have learning challenges, but she had medical challenges. She required a 504 plan.

One thing that helped (that might be helpful for you, too), is that I asked her doctor and her psychiatrist and any other medical professionals that she saw regularly, who knew her well, what suggestions they would have for her school plan. They came up with some ideas that I hadn't thought of. I asked that they put their suggestions in the form of a letter, directed to the school, and the school followed those recommendations.

So if your son has professionals outside of the school system, ask them "if this were your son, what accommodations/suggestions/placement/resources would you insist that the school provide for him, or how should his current plan be adjusted? He's struggling (and be specific about what these struggles entail: is he a year behind, or does he cry, or is he failing, or acting out, or stressing) in math and writing". Then get those ideas in writing.

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P.1.

answers from San Francisco on

If you son is like our 2, their educational gap between grade level and what they could do increased each year. Both the boys IEPs are pages and pages long and now that they are in 9th and 10th grades, their IEPs read like books :( I would first find out about pull out services for writing and math, and do mainstream for music/art/phy ed. I know there are no behavior issues now, but if he continues to struggle, it will likely come out somewhere. Look for situations that you can create the smallest classroom possible and the most one on one time you can get your hands on. Is he eligible for ESY? If not, find out why. Is he eligible for a para? If not, find out why. Force the school to teach your child in a way he can understand instead of forcing your child to learn the way the school wants to teach. Search for alternative learning methods and see if the school will be willing to implement them (one of our boys was given an entirely different curriculum than the rest of the school for 2 years). We were really lucky to have an understanding school that worked with both of our kids the best they could. If you really think your child would benefit from a level 2 with push in services or a level 3, find out where these schools are in your district and visit them to see what you think. Also, although the school does do OT, if you can get private OT through your insurance, please consider that - it is WAY better than what the school can do in their allotted time. Also check into listening therapy and play therapists through your insurance. We also did music therapy, which helped a lot. All outside the school day, of course.

Good luck!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Common Core is what is expected for children to learn at that grade. Implementation varies greatly. How can the school change their implementation to accommodate your son? I would go back and revisit the IEP, where he is, and what he is struggling with. Ask for a meeting with his teachers and with the special education department. It is not uncommon for parents to have to fight with schools to get the services a child needs - schools are commonly underfunded and have so many needs to meet that they will often do the minimum for a child without a squeaky wheel.

I'd start with his teacher and really get down to brass tacks what he or she is doing, how things are improving or not, and what your next steps are. Some parents hire lawyers to push the schools to follow the IEP or make the IEP appropriate to their child. I have a friend whose son has high functioning Autism, and he does "well enough" that they wanted to take away his aide...which he wasn't ready for. His parents were prepared to get a lawyer. It shouldn't have to be that way, but that's often, sadly, the case. Of course everyone, typical child or not, can supplement at home as well. When we moved from one state to another, my sister was "behind" per the new state's guidelines, so our mother had to tutor her through 2 reading books to get her up to par.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sounds like he needs to be pulled to do extra Language Arts and math. I'd make sure they provided him with those options first of all.

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have 3/3 kids with IEPs. You have to really stand up and fight for your kids. I feel like I could write a book about our experiences. Basically, you do what you feel is right for your kid. Like my daughter consistently got C's or better on all her tests but could not for the life of her could not keep up with classwork and homework. So she has not had homework since probably 3rd or 4th grade. My point was that she doesn't need "practice work" if she understands it well enough to get passing test grades. And they agreed. So every year it's in her IEP. My son's is basically the same way. It's just too much for him to emotionally deal with and he's getting C's or better which I'm THRILLED with. So they can basically (legally) do whatever needs to be done to help these kids. You just need to fight for it so it happens. Good luck.

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