When You Were a Kid... Gifts for Teachers.

Updated on December 21, 2012
J.S. asks from Saint Paul, MN
33 answers

like early Elementary aged kid, do you remember bringing in gifts for all your teachers?

I'm 40, and grew up in a small town. I have no memory of bringing in gifts for our teachers. We may have done it for our main teacher and I'm not remembering, but I can't recall bringing anything but a card I drew for my teachers.

My oldest is in 2nd Grade, he has his regular teacher plus 4 specialists and a classroom aid. My middle boy is in Kindergarten and has 2 teachers, and my daughter is in preschool and has 4 teachers between her two classrooms.
Plus our piano teacher... and a bus driver...

That's a total of 14 people...

Do you now buy gifts or give gift cards to all the teachers? My SIL is a teacher (Middle School) and she gets hundreds of dollars in gift cards from her many students... she seems to think it is common practice. I know some of the Mom's in my sons class (2nd Grade) are getting what I feel are pretty elaborate gifts for the teachers.

I have done a little gift for the main teacher in the past.. but this year I'm sending treats we made (peppermint bark and candies). I'm struggling with sending them for all the teachers at school, but feel like I'm not "keeping up" if I don't. And, this year especially I really do want all the teachers to know how much we appreciate all they do. I don't want anyone to feel unappreciated, but I'm also feeling overwhelmed at the number of teachers.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Thanks for your thoughts.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone! You totally helped me calm down. I guess the Sandy Hook shootings have been on my mind, and I was feeling pressure (mostly self imposed) to try to do it all for every teacher.

My husband didn't help either when he questioned if the teachers would "even eat stuff brought in by kids" meaning - the teachers have never seen our kitchen, and he didn't know if he would eat something a kid brought him who's Mom he didn't know well. That made me second guess my plan.

BUT - I'm sticking with my original plan to send in homemade treats for the main teachers in each classroom, and my 2nd grader wanted to bring some for his PhyEd teacher, so we packed a little container for her. My Kindergartener wants to bring some to the aide in his room, so that's fine too. But I think we'll skip the other teachers (media, computer, art, music).

We did do a package of treats for our piano teacher.. and all the preschool teachers (but for one - who was out the day we delivered them).

I want to make everyone feel included, but I am admitting I am not a super Mom. :)

Also - I just really don't want to give teachers more trinkets that they won't use (or will get sold at a garage sale - that seems wasteful to me). And, gift cards are nice, but I spend a lot less on treats and although we are not pinching pennies... well - you know how it is... it all adds up at this time of year.

Thanks again!
J.

Featured Answers

L.B.

answers from New York on

When I was a kid, I did not bring presents to the teachers. I also feel overwhelmed by this tradition. My kids want to bring presents because all the other kids do.
As you mentioned, some of the gifts are very elaborate. This year I decided to send in a craft that my daughter made. She made adorable ornaments out of seashells and sand dollars.
We have to draw the line somewhere

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B.

answers from Augusta on

We are baking cookies , easy , not expensive, and more personal. This is what we did for my teachers too.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

When I was in elementary school, there was one teacher per classroom, no special ed assistance. This was in the 1970's. I remember every holiday season, my mother buying a bottle of hand lotion as a gift for the teacher. Well, I guess in 5th grade when I had Mr Resnick, she must have bought something else.

Where I work and the elementary schools that my kids went to, typically the class mom or dad would take up a collection and buy gifts for the teachers and assistants and aides who worked in the classroom.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Do what you want to do. You are under no obligation.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I was cursing about this last night... Not bc of the money per se but I was stressed to get it done and a gift card had gone missing etc. I said "I didn't give teacher gifts when I was a kid!" It does seem to have gotten overdone but then I think of what those teachers did in CT and it makes me feel so grateful. Thinking how teachers have to be trained to physically protect our kids now and knowing that most would give their lives in a situation like that makes me think again how little they are paid. Aside from the obvious like policeman and fireman, very few adults are put in the position they seem to be in now. I'm sure a heartfelt card with a thank you for their hardwork would be appreciated. From the teachers on here, they seem to value that as much as anything material.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I bought Lindoff chocolate truffles for the special teachers, admin, school nurse and school counselor (11 people). I got them at Walmart for $3 each. I give the primary teacher and bus driver cash. (The special teachers, nurse, etc. will have my daughter as a student for 5 years so I like to recognize them). I punch a hole in the bag of chocolates and then tie a wallet size photo of my daughter to the package. No wrapping involved. It really was simple. I had the pictures developed today at CVS and bought the chocolates last night.

My daughter in HS is only giving 2 of her teachers gifts... And the bus driver.

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

I'm 49 and we always gave a tray of my mom's wonderful cookies to our teachers. Unfortunately I don't have the baking skills (or the time) she had, so we usually do a gift card. I don't feel obligated, but I do appreciate what they do for my daughter - like her current teacher meeting with her before school once a week to do some "extra" math.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

When I was in elementary school, each of my teachers (there were no more than 2) got a jar of Avon perfumed body cream. I remember it vividly. Once I was past the 3rd grade, we stopped giving gifts. I am torn on the subject nowadays. I realize there are more teachers now so that means more gifts. But I feel they do deserve something, no matter how small, just to acknowledge the work they do. Or bake a large batch of cookies for the teacher's lounge for all to enjoy.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Our class moms collect 10 from each family and we give it to the teacher. I love it!

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T.M.

answers from Miami on

Nope, I never gave gifts to my teachers either. I believe this is a generational thing today with all this gift giving and to be perfectly honest, I am over it. I gave a gift to the kindergarten teacher for my children because she was just the sweetest woman and the gift was something simple like a tin of hot cocoa and a thank you card for her hard work and dedication to teaching. My son is now in 1st grade and I absolutely love his teacher. I mean, I could be friends with this lady! She is so nice, so I gave her a small picture frame that says LOVE with the "O" being a heart which is for a picture (she recently had her first baby, and I was thinking about her baby when I saw the frame). It was not expensive at all, but I WANTED to give her something. For my daughter's 5th grade teacher, I gave her a gift of assorted notepads, very affordable as well. Again, I gave the gifts because I wanted to. For my older daughter who in in middle school, NONE of her teachers get gifts from her. Too many people, plus I hardly know them as she changes classes. It's not like in elementary school where they have one teacher for the whole day.

I think a simple thank you card, Christmas card is enough. The expectation of gifts is just over the top for me and my household. My husband is the bread winner as I'm a stay at home mommy, I'm even moving away from gift giving within my own family, limiting it to just my husband and children. The way I see it, if there is guilt involved in giving gifts, then that is the wrong motivator to give in the first place. Giving should come from the heart, never out of guilt or this feeling, "Well, I should." It should come from, "I WANT to."

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yep, in elementary school, we gave very small gifts to our main teacher and then cookies to the Music teacher and the Coach..

You do not have to give ANY gifts, if you cannot afford them, or do not want to give them..

Honestly, after helping the teachers at our daughters elementary school with their Garage sale. And seeing the 6 ft tables stacked with unopened bottles of lotions, soaps, tshirts, mugs, candles.. "Apple, School, and teacher" ,. themed items". Cheap jewelry, scarves... teas coffees.. etc.

I vowed never to give this stuff to a teacher again.. instead I give gift cards or Bottles of wine (if they drink)...

When i asked them what their favorite gifts were, they told me, letters, cards, drawings, from the children and or the parents. Many said they read them time to time..

When our daughter graduated from College in May, Her kindergarten teacher sent our daughter a drawing that our daughter had given her. Very touching and very special..

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T..

answers from Dallas on

I send a gift to the main teacher. The music or art or PE teacher - no. If other parents want to send gifts to everyone - so be it. I don't want my kids to feel they have to give gifts to everyone just because others are. I get a cute container - this year I found a super cute Santa drawstring bag (about $2) and I fill it with treats and pencils and stuff from the dollar spot at target. I am a single mom and this is what I can do. When I was married and we had a little more - I did a little nicer gift but I never went overboard. It really is up to you how much you spend.

Enjoy the Holidays!

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm a teacher, in an urban school. This year I got two gifts; one was pretzels from Target, and one was a glittery stocking holder clearly from a dollar store. I was touched, however, that the moms thought of me, and I wrote them thank you notes to let them know.

I give $20 Barnes and Noble gift cards to my children's teachers....But this year, only one. I gave one to my 7th grader's most amazing and helpful teacher, but not to the rest, and I didn't send any to high school with my teen. I have occasionally given a gift to the bus driver if I thought they went above and beyond, but that's only been a few times.

You do not need to send a gift to every single teacher. I would not think that is expected. Gifts for 14? That's way over the top.

Here's the very best thing to do: write thank you notes for your children's teachers (maybe all 14 adults) and tell them how much you appreciate them. Those are the greatest gifts, and the only ones I save forever.

2nd best? Give a gift card (Target, bookstore, local coffee shop or fast food), because teachers spend a ridiculous amount of their own money on your children so they can teach them. My first year of teaching I spent close to $5,000, and no I am not kidding. I had no materials! Second year it dropped to $2,000, and now it's $300-500 a year. So a gift card to my favorite coffee shop is fantastic.

Don't feel pressured by the other moms. You do NOT have to give anyone gifts.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

We baked cookies for all the boys teachers. And the office staff and pretty much everyone that they wanted to give them to. It's not expensive and they love them.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I live in a area where most parents make a lot more money than most teachers, that may effect the norms in your town.
the norm around here is either parents send in a small gift (fancy candy bar, nice coffee travel mug OR class parents get together and send one gift card (if each family puts in at least five dollars(again in my town its usually ten). And we teachers do really love just getting notes written by parents and children who appreciate us and tell us so!! Unhappy parents are quick to complain, contented parents should speak up!

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G.K.

answers from Green Bay on

Actually - I do! I never even THOUGHT of it truthfully and maybe I'm out of touch - but my 4th grader came home and said, "Mom, all the other kids got the teacher gifts and I feel stupid giving her just my home-made card." I said, "ALL of them?" "Really?" When he ticked off all the kids bringing gifts, it really was nearly all of them - not every single kid, but most. I was kind of surprised. And now I feel guilty that I didn't get gifts for his previous teachers! Like I need something ELSE to feel guilty about. Sigh. My youngest made a home-made pencil holder with her artwork on it. I just told my 4th grader to make something else. Sorry - I don't have time to run out and buy something - and now they're off for Christmas break anyway! I'm thankful that they have such nice teachers at their school, but doesn't it get overwhelming? I hear ya. I found a bunch of homemade ideas here:
http://www.giverslog.com/?p=7144

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Okay, I was a first grade aide at a school in a very wealthy district, with lots of parent support (through both volunteering and financial contributions.)
Trust me, not only did we not EXPECT any gifts, but really only a handful of parents/students would give gifts. The gift giving was slightly more generous at the end of the school year, but I would say on average maybe 25% of the kids would show up with something.
Of course ALL gifts were appreciated, but like I said, not expected.
As a parent I have always done a thank you card and a homemade treat (if I actually liked the teacher lol!) or sometimes a $5 Starbucks card or something like that, and I have never given a card/gift to an aide or other support staff unless we had a relationship, like my daughter's literacy support teacher or her special skills resource teacher, both of whom go above and beyond IMO.
Don't worry about "keeping up" no one is watching that (and if they are, shame on them.)
As far as when I was a kid?
I was a child in the 70's in (mostly) rural Iowa. Most of my teachers were mean! You know, the stereotypical bitter, old spinster ladies. I had a few teachers I liked, and I can remember drawing them pictures and making them cards, which I'm sure they appreciated. My mom never set foot in my classrooms, and honestly I don't remember having parent volunteers or aides, other than the speech therapist who came to help certain kids with their lisps and what not.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Like so many things these days, even the act of giving gifts can turn into a competition.

A gift is given from the heart. What YOU think is appropriate for YOU is the right gift. Honestly, this week I have heard of a few "head room mom class orchestrated gifts" that I think are over the top, to borderline crazy.

To answer your question specifically, no, in the 70's I don't remember giving gifts to my teachers. I attended school in a solidly upper middle class district. But I have NO recollection of teacher gifts.

I have O. child. He has 3 teachers throughout his day. I purchased $15 gift cards for each of them and for the bus driver. I let my child choose and write out the gift cards and sign the cards. I included a brief note thanking the teachers for all they do.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

i grew up with not much but we always saved money for gifts for teachers. my father was a teacher and it is a profession as a family we admire. so yes, i always go overboard for teachers. after CT tragedy i don't think many people will think twice about gifts for teachers. that said, you do within your means. whatever you can afford will be appreciated.

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M.2.

answers from Chicago on

No, I do not remember giving gifts to any of my teachers when I was younger (I'm 35)! I'll never forget my daughters first year in preschool and at her holiday party I was one of maybe five moms that came empty-handed with no gifts for the teachers! I did feel bad but at the same time I didn't understand the need either .....

Fast forward to when my daughter started kindergarten and I was a room mom that saw first hand what the teacher(s) deal with on a daily basis and I had a new respect for them! **Please know that I don't mean any disrepect or judgement towards you!** We always do gift certificates that range in price (more for the main teacher(s)) and I let my daughter decide where we purchase them from! This year she chose a local teacher supply store for her 2nd grade teacher =) She's also always given her teachers a homemade card that she did herself and I truly think that they've appreciated that more than the gift card!

I do think that 14 people to buy for is a bit much so your making them some homemade goodies is a great idea =) Maybe add a homemade picture or card with it!

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B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I hear what you are saying. The only recollection I have is giving one teacher a small token ornament for her tree. I truly can't remember if that was something we did every year or not.

You're right though, it does seem to have snowballed out of control. My daughters are in elementary school so you have their classroom teachers, their "special" (gym, music, etc) teachers, secretary, principal, bus drivers...

When my oldest daughter was in kindergarten I did not feel a great obligation and bought a token gift for her teacher. I'm not sure what happened in first grade, but I felt the need to get her teacher more than a token gift. I have NO idea what changed my mentality, other than I really liked that teacher.

This year I am not really 'digging' her teachers so I am resorting back to a token gift for her teachers but still doing more for my youngest daughter's teacher because she does a phenomenal job with my daughter.

As for the 'special' teachers, last year I knitted them each a scarf. This year I couldn't come up with an inexpensive gift like that so they will all get 'almond bar' candy that we made. (1 pan was enough for 9-10 teachers. If you want the recipe, let me know!)

I am not quite sure what the answer is...all I know is that come teacher appreciation day/week we get stuck showering them with gifts all over again.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My grandparents brought fruit, or eggs, milk, veggies from the farm on a weekly basis (gma), and rabbits every month (grandfather). For holidays each hosted the teacher for 1 or 2 days. Unless they were wealthy. Then a week or so.

In today's market... Their yearly contributions would = several thousand dollars each year. Each student (except the poorest) did the same.

When my mum was a child in the city, students still brought produce (apple for the teacher!), but instead of livestock, parents offered services. Mechanics fixed cars. Beauticians did hair. Knitters made sweaters. Doctors treated. Cops escorted. Brewers brought beers and wines. Butchers, bakers, etc.

My mum always felt badly that we didn't have 'more' to give our teachers growing up, but by my day in school, teachers weren't brought produce every day, nor livestock monthly, nor were teachers hosted (room & board) over holidays. But they were still given tokens. HOWEVER in my day, attitudes really started shifting. Not just surrounding teaching, but world in general. Mom n Pop bit the dust in my childhood. Families tended to be employees (instead of self employed or laborers). A LOT changed in the 70's & 80's. I remember some of the big teaching strikes. We were on a military base. The teachers lost the respect offset military families, when -already making 3x as much as most servicemembers... They struck for weeks for higher pay. There was a paradigm switch as teachers started being the wealthiest 'family' in their classroom, as teachers made more than military and working class families. And moonlit over 3 months of break (remember those? 12 weeks of summer. 3 weeks of Christmas break.

At the same time the educational experiments really went into full swing (including only meeting with parents twice a year, instead of talking daily & weekly).

There were MASSIVE changes that happened, some positive some negative.

Gifting teachers has stuck around. But in the token sense.

Shrug. I think its interesting. The past 3 generations have seen a LOT of change!!!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

As a specialist teacher, I do not expect gifts. I only see my students for a short time each day. I am always grateful gifts that I do receive, but I have felt very uncomfortable sometimes with the gifts that students have given me because of how much has been spent spent on the gifts. I have also received gifts that are things (jewelry, scarves, etc) that are not me, but I feel like I need to wear them at least a couple of times. I've gotten soaps and lotions that have scents that I find offensive. If students are going to give me a gift, I would prefer a small gift card ($5- $10 at most), or things that I can use in my classroom (notepads, sticky notes, fun pencils, a book for the classroom, etc). To be honest, I am sometimes hesitant to eat homemade treats if I don't know the family well (especially during cold, flu, Norovirus season). The best thing this year was that a group of moms at our school organized and set up a hot chocolate bar in the lounge. We had another family put a huge fruit basket in the lounge and a couple of families brought in boxes of chocolate and baked goods for all of us to share.

However, that said, we have always given gifts to Sunday School teachers, day care/preschool teachers, and this year our daughter's kindergarten teacher. Some years it is a $5 gift card to an ice cream shop or coffee shop, one year it was mugs with fancy hot chocolate mix, a tree ornament, fancy chocolates from a local candy store, homemade cookies or candy, etc. I very rarely spend more than $5 each. This year I did bake bread in ceramic bread pans that can be reused. We did a little something extra for my daughter's kindergarten teacher because I also volunteer in the classroom. She recently had a baby so we gave her a box that holds and displays several photos.

Like someone else said, give what feels comfortable for you. Don't worry about what others do. Most teachers will graciously accept gifts, but they don't expect them. Just don't send your daughter to school with an old pair of shoes from your closet. That's what one of my colleagues got from a first grade student one year!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I sent my daughter to school with a gift card for her main 5th grade teacher. It was her choice not to bring something for the other teachers that she has for one hour a day, or less.

I don't remember bringing gifts for my teachers in elementary school, but it's been so long ago (I'm 51) that I very well could have forgotten doing it! It would have been something homemade, not cash. But now, teachers are underpaid were when I was a kid, teaching was a well-paid and respected job. Now, my daughter's teachers spend their own money in their classrooms (and ours is a relatively well-funded suburban school district).

In the end, gift giving is never obligatory, and always a choice.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

We have TONS of teachers between the 3 of mine in school. It would cost a fortune. I gave each a candy bar (a nice one).

For the people who are probably looked over (bus drivers, newspaper people, lunch people, etc.) I got a $15 Starbucks certificate. I thought getting a $5 certificate for all the teachers and stuff would be silly. It's so little money it's likely to be unused or forgotten (and ALL of those would cost me a lot if you add it up). Hence, candy cars for everyone except the people I thought would not get many gifts.

Kids in one class gave gifts to ALL the kids in the class. Gee! That's just too much money and too many gifts! Ahhh!!

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

when i was little in the late 70's early 80's I did not, my mom lacks some social skills, but my best friends mom was a teacher too and she would always make sure there was a gift for the teachrs and even the school secretary i think.
She used to always Pick me to help her deliver her little gifts. Nice memory.

As an adult I do definately want to show my appreciation to the teachers. so I don't mind giving gifts. I feel like i did an awesome job with DD's teacher this year and ok with ds's but again I enjoy it and choose to afford it.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I have no plans to buy the kids teachers any gifts or do anything for them. I told the kids they can make a card for them in art class if they want. I don't have money to spend on other people when we are struggling to make ends meet.

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

If you are going to do something that includes all your childrens teachers. I would do a fruit basket or cookies or some treat like that. It can be expensive to buy for all theteachers. It is pretty common to buy for your teachers but not necessary. Teachers did not get itno teaching for the gifts.
Teachers get many little trinkets that they really have no place or use for. If you want to get something please get something that is usable. Such as treats or gift cards.
Oh you can also see what the class room may need. Many teachers buy stuff for their classes out of their own money. That could be a great help.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Do all the teachers use the teacher's lunch room? If so, fix a large plate or two or three of goodies and put them in the lunch room with a card that especially thanks your son's teachers by name.

I'm nearly 70 and we definitely didn't give teacher's gifts when I was in school. I was a teacher 45 years ago and remember only receiving a couple of gifts. Because I taught high school I had 5 classes of students.

My daughter and I gave my grandchildren's teachers Starbucks gift cards when they were in grade school. Just the main classroom teacher. Now that my granddaughter is in the 7th grade we aren't giving any, as far as I know.

I think your plan is more than generous and the teachers will enjoy it.

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I'm 42 and I don't remember getting gifts for any of my teachers. My mom even worked at my elementary school as various things from yard duty to front office to staff to later being a TA in the special ed classes after getting her certificate. I don't remember anyone else in the class giving the teachers gifts either.
It was never that we didn't appreciate our teachers, it just wasn't what anyone did.
14 teachers! I wouldn't even be able to shop for that many! When my oldest was in a homeschool program we made bath salts for the teachers and the secretary. A total of 3 or 4 people at most. That's about as far as we can and would go.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I can not remember if I brought gifts in when I was a kid, but we do for my sons teachers. Something home made like cookies or candy and a home made card are a wonderful idea, no one expects big expensive gifts, it is just a little something to say thank you and happy holidays.

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I don't remember ever giving my teachers gifts when I was a child either. I think I may have brought my teacher an apple once. My boys give each of their classroom teachers a $5 gift card for Tim Hortons, a homemade ornament and a dozen homemade shortbread. They will give their music teacher and the principal each a dozen shortbread as well, because they have both done so much for them. I don't think the gifts are necessary, but I think my boys would feel bad if they had nothing to give.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't remember ever doing gifts for teachers when I was a child. I am 44.
Isn't that funny?

For us, we pretty much dropped doing teacher gifts about the time they stopped having class Christmas parties----the end of elementary.
My son is high school now and daughter is finally middle school. No teacher gifts this year for us. They both have a couple of teachers they like a lot, but nothing screams "weirdo freak" like a 9th grade boy giving a male teacher a Xmas present.... so we just skip it.

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