2 Years to Retirement and the Pain of Waiting

Updated on May 07, 2013
R.H. asks from West Boxford, MA
18 answers

What should you plan when you are near retirement?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Sucked up to another department. It wasn't the work I hated, it was my boss.

I love my job ever since I changed departments!

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I put it back into perspective and think about how many people want my job. how lucky, blessed and honored that I get to have any job at all. once i bring myself back to reality about how others dont have anything and are wanting my spot. it makes me apperciate it a bit more.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C..

answers from Columbia on

You figure out if it's YOU or the job and then you adjust. You stop making everyone miserable because "you're just there for the benefits/pay etc" and you pitch in and find a reason to stay.

My sister has "hated" every job she's had. It's unbearable. The boss is narcissistic, the employees are horrible, the place is too hot, it's too far from home etc etc etc.

It's HER. SHE needs to adjust her attitude. No job is perfect. But we suck it up because we are responsible adults. It's like staying in or repeating bad relationships. Yeah, sometimes there is a 1 off and a really healthy lovely person marries a psychopath. But most of the time we are a part of how unhappy we are. So fix that.... instead of blaming it on the job.

Just my $0.02

10 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

You start an exit plan. You find a new job with the benefits you need. You go back to school to add to your work skill set. You find new people and network. You set a time frame and work it.

My daughter did this just recently. She had had enough of the supervisor (9 years) and nothing had changed, no raise, more work, no retirement. Her car had recently been replaced and she knew she needed to maintain gainful employment. In the process of her searching, the supervisor stated that everyone should seek other means of employment because the office was going to close. Well, whether that was true or not my daughter put her plan into effect and within six weeks had a new job.

The new job has all the things that she has wanted including retirement but advancement potential forever. New company has offices in many states and she can transfer whenever she wants.

But think about your attitude toward your job. Even when you say you are happy the vibe comes out that you are not and people sense your tension. So think happy thoughts and look for something else. You may even change your career field to find a new job but get to steppin' to find what you really want. Your search may take one to three years but it won't happen if you don't make the first step.

Draw up your plan of action and work it. Good luck.

the other S.

PS I am having a hard time as to when to retire. I love what I do but I have other dreams I want to fulfill that are financially successful.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have been in jobs (esp when younger) when I needed the pay, money and benefits... However, I took my angst and channeled it into paying off my bills..

I began to eat ALL meals at home.... never bought coffee out.. and with the savings for those items alone, I put the funds toward the principal on my house.

Additionally, I stopped buying excess... never bought a brand new car and stopped over-buying for the people in my life... Eventually, my savings was up, my bills were down and it gave me the opportunity to leave a super stressful job behind.

Basically, I came up with a long-term plan that would give me freedom from jobs that I hated and although it didn't happen overnight, it did eventually happen.. My suggestion would be to sit down and figure out where you can trim your budget, begin to pay off your bills (if you have any) really assess between the wants/needs in your life and make a plan..

Also, why not update your resume' and begin to put it out there for the heck of it.. you just never know what you might come across..

good luck

7 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

"hate" is one of those words that kind of bugs me. it is a VERY strong word. it's such a strong word, one would question its appropriateness, when used in this context. do you REALLY "hate" your job? because if you did, "money, location, benefits, etc" would not be a good enough reason to stay.

if it is worth staying, you stay. if it isn't, you go. only you can decide that.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Odessa on

I stopped working 70 hours per week. When it was the weekend or vacation, I did not allow myself to think of work. I had to limit time with my complaining coworkers because I was getting madder. I also began making new friends at other companies because I really wanted out.

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I went and found myself a new job. And the only reason I ever felt that way about a job was when I had a manager that was so ridiculously terrible... we're talking rude, mean, miserable, and made everyone around her miserable. I don't tolerate bullies. Since she wouldn't leave, I did. I made sure I had another job lined up first.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

Sucked it up for a while, and found a new job.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Find a new one before quitting, if that's a possibility?

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had a job I hated and stayed in it for 23 years. I did it because I was real good at it. I ranked in the top 10 in the nation for 13 o 14 years. I even made #1 and #2 for two of those years.

Looking back in my perfect 20/20 hindsight, I should have left early in my career. I had very good pay and very good benefits. I even won several performance based contests, but they lied about my retirement benefits. I would have better off taking the job I was offered by one of my dad's friends. I would have had to take a lower salary to begin with but I would have been able to get back to where I started and had a better retirement in the long run.

Its a choice I agonized over for many years.

Good luck to you and yours.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from New York on

1. Count your blessings. (Find things you do like about the job and spend your day focusing your thoughts on those things.)
2. Put your smile on every day. (Smiling and laughing helps change your brain chemistry and put you in a general better mood and is also contageous.)
3. Learn the valuable lessons. (We all need to learn and grow as people. Often we learn more through our struggles than our easy times. What valuable lessons are you learning?)
4. Look for a new job. (This job probably wasn't your first job and probably won't be your last. Even in this economy there are jobs to be had.)
5. Discover a new hobby. (Keeping you mind distracted with pleasant things will help you make it through this job you hate.)
6. Put yourself in another person's shoes. (When having conflict with bosses or coworkers, I try to see life through their eyes with the understanding I don't have the full picture. So I can't possibly know the boss's boss has come down on him/her with an impossible thing and that is now being filtered through to you.

These are all things I have done when I have hated my job and all of these things have helped me be a better person. What every attitudes you are developing and cultivating through this difficult time you will take with you to the next workplace. So try to keep positive, even if the only positive thought you can think is that this job does keep the roof over your head, clothes on your back and food in your belly. What you put into it is what you will get out of it so why not try to develop a mindset that will make the most of a bad situation while planning your exodus?

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Look forward to something big thats for only at the end of each work D..

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Looked for another job. What makes you think that is the ONLY job with similar pay, location, benefits? Sometimes the pay boils down to "hazard" pay. A company knows their work conditions suck and that's the only way to attract or retain an employee. You as an employee need to determine that your health and happiness are worth far more than that paycheck because at the end of the day money is only a temporary motivator.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Miami on

You make the very best of it. You start taking on additional responsibilities, not because you want to do great things for them, but because you want to build your resume further. You start applying elsewhere. The job market is awful right now, but you just never know.

I didn't hate my last job, but I did hate the commute. I would troll the job postings weekly. If something caught my interest, I applied. I went on a few interviews and ended up taking a different position... in a different state with no commute. Very long story, but start looking. Work on your resume. Attend a conference or workshop to "freshen it up" and apply.

You just never know!

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Rhonda:

I have updated resume and floated it around to see what's out there.

You have to love what you do - or you end up doing a suck job at it.

The recruiter in me has some red flags...

Why do you hate your job?
What are you looking for in your career?
Is location, benefits and money the only reason you stay?
Are you willing to relocate?
Does your boss know you are not happy?
Is there something you can change about your job so you don't "hate" it?
Is your boss willing to work with you to make changes to keep you?

For me? It doesn't matter about the benefits, money, location - if I don't like my job - I don't want to ruin my reputation and tarnish it by not being able to do my best...yes, we all have bad days. Got it. So no, not every day will be perfect. However, if you truly "HATE" your job? Then that attitude is bound to show through...being late...longer lunches...errors...faster temper/outbursts....bad attitude....negative comments....the list is long...

Figure out why you don't like your job. Talk to your boss and find out if there are things you can work on to change....if not - get your resume polished and get it circulating to see what's out there!

Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Finish out your contract and find another place to go. You're overseas - try another overseas assignment somewhere other than in the Middle East. International schools are all over the world. You might look into DoDD's, but you'd have to accept where they would send you. That's a bit trickier...

I can imagine that it's hard living in the Middle East as a woman, but sometimes you just have to make lemon out of lemonade. I have a friend whose husband lost his job in the States and they accepted one in Dubai. They live an hour out of Dubai now, and my friend has found ways to help herself BE happy. She found a quilting circle that meets after school. Not saying that you should learn to quilt, per say, but sometimes looking outside the box for activities that you can be a part of will help you not "mind" your work circumstances so much.

I have more friends than I can count on two hands who are teachers in international schools all over the world. One of the reasons they teach outside of the US is to glean from rich culture different than their own. It's all in the attitude, Rhonda. You can love it, or hate it. I know that the admin at the school and all the BS that goes with admin politics can be a real irritation (probably a nice way of putting it), but sometimes you just have to rise above it and find the good in where you are, who you click with at your work, remember why you wanted to work with kids in the first place, and just grab onto that.

Part of my overseas experience, which I have been so grateful to have, has been delving into the culture so that I could actually understand on some level, the differences in where I lived and where I came from. That helped make the parts of living overseas that I DIDN'T like, easier. Perhaps that is something you could consider doing to help "overshadow" the part of what you don't like about the work that you do. My teacher friends? There is never a dull moment on the weekends for them. They are out and about and living their lives seeing new sites. Even if it's just exploring gardens, museums, walking down new streets. Whatever it is, it can be exciting, if you can find the joy in it.

You've written about wanting so much to retire. I hope that since you cannot retire, that you can find either a job that you love, OR find a way to love something about your current circumstances. Life is too short to be unhappy in what you do in most of your waking hours...

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Tried my darndest to find any one thing that makes it feel differently. Anything at all. Attitude is everything.

I have had a couple of jobs in my life that I totally loved and then a couple that I have hated getting up in the morning and going.

I think that a person has to sit down and think this through.

This job may have the perks that I need but is it really where I want to be in a year? 5 years? the rest of my life?

If not then you need to start planning to change now. It takes time and effort to make life different. if you hate it there you know it is effecting you every day, making you an unhappy miserable person on the inside. Every day you spend there is filling your heart with discontent, anger for having to do this just so that your family can have a few extra dollars each month and if they'd just do a few things to save money every day then you could find another job.....all sorts of feelings.

So think it through.

WHY do you hate it so much?

Why do you feel like you have no choice about leaving?

Where else can you find a job that will pay enough to cover the bills, even without the perks? Are there any jobs in your area that would pay them?

Planning a baby and need to keep the continuous health care? Or a family member has a preknown disease that would not be covered on a new plan?

There are all sorts of reasons to stay and even more to go.

Have you looked at other jobs in this field? Are there any other jobs like this within 50 miles of your home? Would you be willing to move? Uproot your family? Or even live separately from them during the week then go home on the weekends? What choices are there for you to look at?

I have a couple of friends who have found themselves in this sort of situation lately.

One of my bff's is from Wyoming. She loved the life she had growing up going to the mountains for girls camp, going skiing whenever, going to Yellowstone Park, all the joy she had from being in that state. As a young fresh out of college couple the hubby got a job in Oklahoma with the plan to seek employment in Montana at a refinery job there when he had enough experience to get a good job offer through the hiring program.

Ten years later and they were still in Oklahoma. She was pining for a home that was closer to her roots. Hubby kept his eye open for jobs he qualified for and applied for several but didn't get them. He didn't hate his job but really wanted to move to Montana before his children were grown. God blessed this family with a move to another company in a wonderful way. He was offered a job he had no intentions of taking but the offer was so wonderful he just knew it was the one he had been waiting for. He's been happy with the new company and he has job security, is building a great retirement, has a happy wife who's only a few hours from her home town, slopes are not far from their home, and their kids are having the best upbringing possible for this family. All because the dad made the commitment to find a different job that would suffice.

Another friend of mine was in nursing school. Her expectation was that she'd be working in a hospital setting like the rest of her siblings. She was nearly at the end of her education and found one night, while studying for a test, that she absolutely hated that thought. She didn't want to be a nurse. She really hated the thought of doing that every day for the rest of her life.

She was about to graduate and it would be a waste of time and money to suddenly decide she wanted to study something else so she decided to go into a different aspect of nursing. She is working in a state job doing inspections of facilities where medications are given. She has little interaction with co-workers, no patients whose lives hand in the balance based on her choices, no stress, no nightmares from scenes in the ER where people of all ages take their last breath, no nothing.

She goes to work each day and is home each night. She wakes up each morning ready to go to work to make sure someone's medications are not being stolen or using incorrectly. She is making a difference in her own way.

She is not making the $30 per hour she could be making somewhere but she is making a good living with benefits. She's also a happier person inside.

The moral of the story's are that it takes you to make your job work, attitude is everything. If you let yourself have a continuous attitude of dislike and hate then your days will feel like that. If you decide that your days will be different then you'll feel differently about them as they happen.

3 moms found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions