When to Transfer My Toddler to a Big Girl Bed....

Updated on February 19, 2008
B.H. asks from Veneta, OR
22 answers

My daughter is 2 years and 4 months. She is showing no signs of needing/wanting to be in a big girl bed. We have never had issues with her trying to crawl out of her crib or that she is uncomfortable size wise or anything. I always figured that when we got pregnant with another baby I would help get her introduce the idea of having a sibling by moving her room and making it a "big girl room" so the baby could have the baby room. Well, that's not happening anytime soon so I'm at a loss on what to do. I've heard other moms say that children should be moved to other beds sooner than later. Why is that? Granted, she will grow out of the crib but I'm just wondering if I'm doing something wrong by not introducing her to a big bed now. I feel she is comfortable in her room and have never used her room as a tool for punishment (sending her to her room) nor do we use it as a play area. I'm afraid that if I get her a bed she may take advantage of the "freedom" and play around or make going to bed, which has never been an issue, an issue. Suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I think we will wait. I certainly don't want to make matters worse if they don't need to be. I think I may make it a "mommy and me" thing when I get pregnant. Have her help me with decorating her room, giving her choices, stuff like that. Thanks!

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

I personally don't think there is any harm in leaving her in a crib if that is what you both want and she is not climbing out. That just means that when you do move her to a toddler bed, she will be older and will understand better that it is not okay to get out of bed. The down side to moving a toddler too soon is that it takes a lot of fighting with them to teach them to stay put. Try putting a big girl bed in her room with her crib still there, and let her choose which one she wants. If she gets out of her big girl bed, take her back and tell her she must stay in bed or she won't be allowed to sleep in the big girl bed. If she gets out again, then place her in her crib and tell her maybe we can try again tomorrow.

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L.C.

answers from Seattle on

Why not use this time to have a new 'big bed' in her room, but let her come to to the decision to sleep in it on her own? If there will be a crib and bed in room anyway, then it's a perfect time! Also, she might feel like giving the new baby her old bed by the time the baby arrives. Maybe she just needs to 'get used to the idea' a little first; without making it a life change; Similar to how we've introduced new 'equipment'; put out the bouncy seat; bassinet before the baby arrives, so the kids are used to it already when the baby does arrive, they are used to it. Maybe she just needs to know a little more about a 'big girl bed' before she makes the commitment.

Hope this helps.

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

I'm going through a similar thing as you right now. My son turned 2 in November and he's still in his crib. We planned on being pregnant with our second child by now and as it hasn't happened, we haven't moved him to his toddler bed yet. I plan on waiting as long as possible. Once he's in a toddler bed, he'll be able to move around at night/in the morning without us knowing and that's not something I'm comfortable with - especially as he still likes to pull things out of his light sockets. I say you should keep her in her crib until it's impossible for her to be in one. There's no harm in it. She'll let you know when she's ready to be moved to a big girl bed :)

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M.W.

answers from Portland on

B. - wait as LONG as possible to move her to a big bed!! We moved our daughter to a toddler bed at 2 years because we moved to a new house. She stayed in bed for the first 2 weeks, and we've been struggling ever since (5 months). We have to put a gate on her door to keep her in her room for most naps and most nights. She hates it, and screams a lot. It is horrible. We've been reading Healthy Sleep Habits for Happy Children (or something like that...) which has been somewhat helpful. There is NO hurry! Good luck! M. W.

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K.B.

answers from Spokane on

Hi B.,

I too have a two year old, and he has been sleeping in a big bed since he was 20 months old. He had a hard time in his crib though, because he likes to roll around alot while he sleeps. We transferred him to the bottom bunk of his big bed (it's a double size) and he does great there.

At first we put him in the center of the bed laying horizontally so he had more room and we didn't have to worry about him rolling off the bed. Now we lay him down normally and put a body pillow on the side the floor is on just to stop him in case he rolls. That seems to work great, he hasn't fallen off once.

With your daughter you might want to try putting her down in the big bed when she naps so she can get used to waking up in the bed. Then when you put her down at night in the big bed, it won't seem strange to her.

I don't think you are hurting her by keeping her in her crib, most people have problems with kids trying to jump out of the crib and that is probably why you've heard to move her sooner rather than later.

Hope this helps! Good luck!
-K.

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L.K.

answers from Seattle on

The main thing we used as the trigger with my two kids was potty training. Once they started the process in earnest we moved them into a bed so they could get up in the middle of the night to use the toilet if they had to. For my oldest this happened at three, and for the baby it was two and a half or so. They were both happy in the crib but it was a smooth transition for both to the big-boy bed too--we used a toddler bed (with crib mattress) that was low to the ground and had side rails so there weren't too many falling-out accidents, and I think it felt familiar to them.

Hope this helps--good luck! --L.

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

Keep her in her crib! There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping her in a bed where she feels comfortable and safe. She will let you know when she is ready to move on to a big girl bed. My oldest was a few months past three, my second almost three, and my "baby" climbed out of her crib a few months ago and is just now two and a half. She loves her big girl bed but I personally wish she'd stayed in the crib a bit longer! Really, no need to rush it, she'll be there soon enough.

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T.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi - I would not worry to much about this. I would wait and see when she is ready to make the move. My son was 3 when we moved him. We made a big deal out of it, found a great deal on a race car bed so he was really excited to move to a bed. We also had a time issue as well because I was pregnant with our second son so we needed the crib for him. If you dont have a deadline to worry about at this point, I would wait a little bit longer for her to show interest. When you get pregnant again, and she still has shown no interest, then I would start talking to her about how she can be a "big girl" and share her crib with her new sibling, etc..maybe look into letting her pick out her new bed so she is involved in the process.
But dont worry about this! You are not doing anything wrong!

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J.M.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi B.,
we have the same curiosity about this. My husband & I are expecting our second baby in just a few weeks! so, we have been working on getting our 27 mo. old daughter's 'big girl' room ready for her. mainly for her to play in for now and finally a bigger place for all of her toys & stuff. I have heard so many different opinions about 'when' to give your toddler their big-bed that I too am a bit confused about when the appropriate time would be. Our Daughter likes her crib and hasn't tried climbing out but she is tall & bumps her head & leggs alot. I'm just nervous about her escaping from her big-girl bed (when we finally do switch her)and make the giong to bed thing an issue. Seems like your daughter would be o.k. to wait a while before the switch. but, It might be nice for you to get her established in her new room before you are exahusted from being pregnant etc.
best of luck to you.
J.

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J.D.

answers from Seattle on

I don't think there is any hurry. I have three boys and waited until they were three something before moving them to a bed. They LOVED their crib and never climbed out. It seemed to happen naturally for them to eventually desire a "big boy" bed. I think you will know when it's time. Enjoy this time while you have it.

J. D

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K.S.

answers from Portland on

If you're talking about actually moving her into a different bedthen here's my advice. I think that it really depends on the child for when to transfer. You might want to try asking her if she wants a "big girl" bed, if you haven't asked her already. If she says yes, then you might want to make sure she knows what a "big girl" bed is. If you have an extra bed around the house (like one in a guest bedroom) you might wasnt to give her a chance to sleep in that so she can see what it's like. If she really doesn't like it, then you can try introducing her to a big girl bed in a few months or maybe when she's three. Good Luck!

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J.R.

answers from Seattle on

We transferred our son when he was just over two (26 months). We also moved when we transferred him - so a lot of things were new to him. He never showed signs of trying to climb out of the crib, and listens pretty well to us. We put a queen size mattress on the floor (no box spring and no frame yet) and told him that when he wants to wake up and get out of bed, he should sit up and say "mom and dad"...we have been in the new house for about 2 months now, and he still has never gotten up to play in his room. This isn't really advise, but something that we just went through, were concerned about, and have been thrilled with the way that the transition has gone. We did not make a big deal out of the new room - he isn't even on new sheets yet...because we wanted to see how he did with it before making the investment. He just knows that this is a big boy bed and that he should stay on the bed until we come up to get him.

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C.P.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter loved her crib. We bought her a day bed and turned it around backwards against the wall giving her the comfort of her crib and yet putting her in her big girl bed. Worked like a charm and eventually we turned it around.

C.

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T.O.

answers from Eugene on

If it's not an issue I wouldn't worry about it. My doctor always said keep them in a crib as long as you can. We moved my eldest out when she was two just because we had another one on the way. We never had any issues with her getting out of her big girl bed and it was a twin bed. We moved our son out when he was 2 because of space. Neither had any issues with with the crib or with the bed once we moved them.

good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

We skipped the whole toddler bed and went straight to a twin bed for my son last year about when he was about 18mos old. I looked on Craigslist and was very lucky on finding a solid wooden twin bed with a rail on one side ($35.00). The gal who was selling it lost the other rail in over time. It was exactly what I wanted. Solid wood with rails. My son was climbing out of his crib and we figured he was ready for a big boy bed. Plus, I was afraid that he might climb out and fall. I also chose to skip the toddler bed because I have heard that they only stay in this bed for only about 6 mos. I didn't want to spend $100 on a bed that I am going to use for a short amount of time. Besides that my son is taller than most boys his age anyway. So, It was better for us that we got him a regular twin bed. For the first few months we put pillows witha blanket covering them on the floor...just in case he fell. An he didn't.

You as your roll for being mom - you will know when it is the right time to make the change for your child. For my son - it was better to make the change sooner than later. Good luck.

R.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi B.,
I personally don't see why you need to change her sleeping situation yet, especially if she's comfortable and secure there. When you get pregnant with your second child,and or she grows out of the size of the crib, you should start preparing her for the change months ahead. It should be talked about as something big girls get to move up to. She should get to help out somehow in a choice, like using a favorite color or theme she would enjoy in it (sheets, color of wall, special blanket, new little area rug etc... It's good she feels secure in her room now and I wouldn't change it unless she hinted it or the above reasons applied. R.

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

I wouldn't worry about it. We left my son in his crib as long as possible, even going so far as to buy a second crib for our daughter who was born when he was 17 months old. Eventually it just got uncomfortable lifting him in and out, and that's when we made the transition (at around age 2 1/2). When we put him in the big boy bed we put a removeable rail/fence type thing that almost encloses the open side - leaving just enough room for him to climb in and out at the bottom. He likes that feeling of being safe and "enclosed" I believe. I think sometimes we are too anxious to get our kids grown up, there is no reason not to let things like this last longer when they are working for everyone and you are all happy with the situation. Let her ask for the big girl bed when she's ready, she probably will eventually.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

B.,

If the status quo isn't changing anytime soon, and she's happy and comfortable why change anything? It's okay to wait until she's ready, or when she's too big for the crib. Don't let others pressure you into doing something that you really don't want to do/aren't ready for.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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S.V.

answers from Bellingham on

My pediatrician recommends waiting until they are 3 years old to transition to a big bed. I did both of my kids sooner since I kind of had to. My oldest was 2 years old when she went to a big bed because my youngest was an infant and needed the crib. My second child went to a big bed when she was also 2 because she was crawling out of the crib. In your circumstances, I would wait until she was 3 to change her to a big bed because once you switch them to a big bed, they can get in and out whenever they want, making bedtimes a challenge sometimes (like you predict). I tried a toddler bed with my oldest since my crib converted to one, but my child fell out. So I immediately went to a big bed and put a rail on it so that wouldn't continue to happen, therefore with my second child, I skipped the toddler bed completely and went straight to a big bed also. Both of my children are girls, the oldest being 4 years old right now and the youngest being 2 1/2 so we've experienced these things fairly recently. I think you should not worry about it and wait, the longer in the crib, the easier it is I think with less worries through the night. Take care!

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K.B.

answers from Seattle on

I would keep her in her crib as long as she's not trying to climb out and possibly get hurt. I've heard keeping them in their crib until they are closer to 3 is the preference. My daughter is about the same age as yours and we have moved her to her "big girl" room because I am due to have another baby here in the next week. When we first introduced her to the toddler bed, she flat refused to sleep in it, so the response below that suggested to have it in the room is a good idea. That is what we did. Once she was comfortable she started to ask to sleep there.

I thought nap time would be a struggle, but it really wasn't and I think it really depends on the child. We actually put up a baby gate at the door so she can't wander out of her room before she's asleep and then we take it down so when she wakes up she can just get up and come downstairs when she's ready. It's worked pretty well for us.

Good Luck

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B.L.

answers from Seattle on

I would love to know too! I am having our 2nd in 3 weeks and my son is going to be 19 months. I expect that the little one will be in our room for about 5 mos, so Reeves will be about 2 when Annie is ready for the crib. Please let me know what you find out! :)
B.

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P.S.

answers from Portland on

My daughter who's now 4 sounds a lot like yours. We had no problem moving her to a big bed. We talked about it with her well in advance. When we made the switch we let her pick the new sheets and comforter. Her favorite characters. Then we switched cold turkey...the big bed went in and the crib went out. She loved that we could sit or lay on her bed with her and read bed time stories or sing nursery songs. Honestly not until this year did she get out of bed in the middle of the night or anything. I just think whether it be her crib or big bed...she loved going to bed and the process that goes with it.

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