When to Tell In-home Daycare Provider That Care Will End?

Updated on January 06, 2010
M.C. asks from Minneapolis, MN
8 answers

Hi Moms,
We just found out we are pregnant (yay!). We're very excited but the biggest thing on my mind is how to tell our wonderful daycare provider that my husband will stay home with the baby and our little girl. She currently takes care of our 2.5 year old little girl and 5 other little ones. I had asked her even before we were ttc if she would be able to take another little one. She is wonderful with the kids, they're happy, healthy and learning and all of us parents are happy. I don't want to tell her too early (like now) in case she might pull away from our daughter in the coming months and I don't want to tell her too late (like when the baby is born) and have her be disappointed. Any advice?

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answers from St. Cloud on

Honesty is the best policy. I did daycare for 5 years and almost all of my families were great and really open with communicating. The same situation happened with one of the families as well. Although we had discussed it and new in advance that when they had their 3rd baby that she would then stay home. I did not make them leave sooner just because I knew they would be going anyways. And to this day, I still love those 2 kids that I cared for as much as I ever did! And it's been 5 years since I babysat them! We still get together from time to time and see each other. And the kids still remember me (even though the youngest was only 2 1/2 when they left).

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answers from La Crosse on

The more notice you can give her, the better...the better for all three of you! That way, she can contact someone on her waiting list (I'm sure she has one if she is that good!) and totally make their day. The daycare provider would probably also like to know as soon as possible for the simple fact that she would be able to do some lesson-planning centered around the concept of a 'new baby in the house'. I am sure she's bonded with your daughter and cares about her very much, and she'd have to be a huge jerk to 'pull away from' your daughter just because she's got a little sibling on the horizon. Tell her about the pregnancy and your plans to not need her anymore eventually. It is the right thing to do.



answers from Minneapolis on

If she is as good as you say she is, then she cares about you and your family. She will be excited for you that you are pregnant and that a parent gets to stay home with that baby. After all, I'm sure she does home daycare so she can be with her kids. She will understand. Be sure to give her enough time so that she can fill your childs spot, just in case her finances depend on it.



answers from Indianapolis on

She runs a business, and she's likely had to deal with this many times before. The more notice you give her, the more likely she'll be able to line up another child and protect herself financially once you do make the move.

Out of courtesy, my recommendation would be to let her know earlier vs. later. If she loves your child, she will understand that you're making the best decision for yourselves.

It sounds like it's still very early into your pregnancy, so I'd advise waiting a little while until you know everything is OK. If you give 2-3 months notice, that should be ample time, I would think.



answers from Minneapolis on

I would wait until you you are over half way through your pregancy- Be honest with her. just explain that you have given this much thought and this would be best for your family- I would say that giving a 3 to 4 week notice would be acceptable- If you really like her tell her if she still has opening that you would be happy to be a reference for her and refer people to her-
This is what I did when my daughter started school and there
were busing issues- My mom(her grandma)said she would get her off to school- I felt bad as my daycare had already lost a couple of kids due to layoffs and other kids starting school. However when I said I would be a reference and a referal it eased the tension the last week.
best wishes to you!



answers from Minneapolis on

Congrats! I am an in home provider and I recommend as much notice as possible. She will not treat your child any differently knowing she is leaving. Giving her a longer notice will give her time to get used to the fact that your family is leaving and will give her time to fill the spots.
mom of 3 and daycare provider for 22 yrs



answers from Milwaukee on

Please give her at least a month or two notice. If the child is full time it does take a little while to replace them. It also takes time to get used to loosing one who has become part of her extended family.
M. (28 years in day care)



answers from Minneapolis on

If she is as great as she sounds, and I don't doubt that. She will be the same with your daughter until the time comes. Besides this way if she gets a call for an infant she will not turn it away, expecting to have your baby. I would let her know now what your plans are and if they change then you can share that also. I would also ask her if she would be willing to do drop in care for the times in which your husband needs to get something done that is not condusive to having the kids with or at least one of them. Good luck and congratulations. I am very envious of you and your husband and your ability to spend that amount of time with your children.

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