I have a 3 month old girl who is getting up two times a night to nurse. MY ped is saying that she should not need to nurse anymore and that she should start learning to sleep through the night. I don't really feel good about this, so I continue to nurse. But when is the time when she will be old enough to make it through the night without nursing and how do I go about getting her to sleep through the night? Thank you.
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My 30 month old slept from 7:30pm to 5am at 10 weeks of age.....he did this himself, no crying out. He also liked to be swaddled, (which she does not), and he used a pacifier (she hates them), and she sleeps on her stomach (had acid reflux since birth, and preferred to sleep this way...and Yes I know its taboo, but as much as I try to get her to sleep on her back, she won't and gets worse reflux bouts. (any suggestions on this?
I know it is hard but have you tried letting her cry for a few mins and see if she will fall back asleep? Are you supplementing with formula? We would do that with my son when he was first born and that gave us a good 6 hr stretch of sleep when he was 5 weeks old.
I didn't stop nursing through the night until about 1 year. yes it was a long time but my child needed it. I tried everything from trying to hold him off to feeding him as much as possible right before bed. None of it worked. I started noticing that he would only nurse for a minute at a time throughout the night and that was when I realized he was only doing it for comfort. Up until then, he really needed the nutrition. I went to the breastfeeding resource center in glenside and they were very supportive of all this. I know other moms who have breastfed past 1 year throughout the night so it's not abnormal. Good luck and if you are near glenside, you should check out the breastfeeding resource center. it's a great place.
Unfortunately, Pediatricians are not developmental psychologists. Babies brains are not wired to sleep through the night- it could take up to 1 yr to 18 mo for this brain growth to occur. The low amount of fat and protien in human milk (as compared to other mammals), combined with a baby's tiny stomach, means that baby needs to eat through the night. As much as western culture rails against it, babies are meant to sleep with their mothers and nurse often.
Trust your instincts!!! You were made to have those too! Your ped doesn't know your baby as well as you do. You got a lot of good advice here. 3 months is definitely too young to "sleep through" (which means 5-6 hrs) or to cry it out. I would think about getting a new pediatrician, or at least speak with him/her about your beliefs and the way you want to raise your child so you don't keep hearing about it.
What was your experience with your 30 month old like? I know all kids are different, but can you draw from that in any way?
I recommend this book to all the moms I meet-- it's an interesting and quick read, packed full of info:
"Our Babies, Ourselves" by Meredith Small
Good luck!
Kept researching- found a good link for you:http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/night_waking.shtml
If she seems ok on her tummy, then go for it. As long as she isn't sleeping on really fluffy bedding she'll probably be fine. Parenting 101: You find what works and you stick with it! This article (above) should make you feel much better! :)
Actually, no animal in nature sleeps on its back, and it's only since the 90s that babies on their back has been pushed, it's not really natural, so you may as well just let her be.
Your ped needs to go back to school, their claim about nursing is ridiculous and outrageous. Every individual is different, and so is their body, she'll sleep through the night at her own pace, although she should be sleeping through the night by age 2 at the very latest, it would warrant further investigation (but NOT medication) if she was. And all children really should be nursed at LEAST until they have teeth or until they're a year old, and then transitioned to food and water.
If I were you, I might consider getting a new ped. :P
Doctors are not the ones ultimately responsible for whatever happens in regards to our children's health, it is we the mothers who ARE, and may we all do our duty well. :)
6 months...their stomachs are too tiny, so they won't be able to stay full for 8 hours. Keep going until 6 months, and I promise, you'll have better resolve to start weaning her at night!
You'll need your hubby to help with the weaning, so start it on a weekend when he can sacrifice some sleep. He'll have to soothe her back to sleep instead of you since she'll smell you and want to nurse. Good luck!
S.,
When they are "big/old" enough to sleep through the night is going to depend on which side of the parenting debates you fall on.
The more "main stream" sources are going to say around 3--6 months and the more "crunchy" sources are going to say that the absolute earliest you can consider start sleep training is 12 months.
I fall into the latter category and there were definately nights where I questioned my ability to make it to 12 months. My DD slept beautifully from 3-6 months and then at 6 months started waking about every 1.5-3 hours. That lasted until she was 16 months old and we sleep trained. Breastfed babies tend to wake more at night because breastmilk is teh perfect food for them and it's quickly and easily digested.
I found that my Dd would quickly go back to sleep. Her crib is at the foot of our bed. By the end she was only "awake" for 3-5 minutes at a time. We used a modified version of Dr. Jay Gordon's methods for sleep training, when we finally got there, and it worked amazingly well. I think a lot of that ease was her being actually ready for it.
best wishes mama!
S.
I wouldn't necessarily stop nursing her at night right now. My oldest was 6 months (and had been on solids for 2 months) when I was told to stop nursing him at night. At that point the doctor said it was more of a habit than a need. Apparently that was true, because within three days he realized nursing wasn't part of the deal when he woke up at night and started sleeping through. My youngest started sleeping through the night between 2-3 months on his own (always the better sleeper). Maybe try to stretch out the time between nursing at night and see what happens.
when breastfeeding it should always be on demand, never on your schedule or anyone elses. I would change ped's personally. Most babies will not sleep through the night at this age. I would absolutely not stop nursing her at night. Your baby is doing a tremendous amount of growing right now. They need the extra calories for growth. I think that you are very fortunate that she is only up twice a night. Regulating how often they eat is not necessary at this age. Sometimes it is not necessary for them to eat, they may want to play, teething etc. But at three months they should definitely still be nursing through the night.
You should never let an infant less than 6 months cry it out. Usually your child will go longer stretches at night when he/she starts on solid foods. For most children, breast milk by itself is not enough to hold them through the night. My son was late on taking solid foods & took a while to warm up to many foods, but stopped nursing at night around 16 months. I did end up having to let him cry it out because it was habit that he was getting up.
I know what the doctors and the books say, because I've been there, but to be completely honest with you, neither of my girls slept through the night until they were weaned. That was at 13 mos. In my opinion, having your child want you in the middle of the night at such a young age isn't the worst thing in the world. I was happy to snuggle and nurse for a few minutes each night (and I work full-time, so I'm familiar with really wanting an uninterrupted nights sleep!). Good luck!
We transitioned our daughter at the end of her 4th month. It was more of a problem for ME... I wasn't ready to let go of the night time nursing... SHE adjusted within 3 days. We also started feeding her cereal at the same time. Within a week she slept from 7p - 7:30a, so its definitly possible.
Every baby is different and only you really know what your baby needs. In my personal experience (2 boys), 3 months is too young. I think six months is much more reasonable & then it also depends on what you mean by "through the night". Medically speaking "through the night" means 6 hours. Not 10 or 12. My 2nd boy is now 6 months. Sometimes he will wake up once during the night, sometimes twice. About a week ago he went through a few days of waking up every 2 hours & wouldn't settle unless he ate. He wasn't really hungry b/c he didn't eat long, he was just doing it for comfort. This is how I knew he wasn't able to put himself back to sleep alone. So we let him cry it out. He has been much better since then. Back to only waking up once or twice.
Some things you can do, if you need more sleep (which we all do). I assume you are probably putting your baby to bed at 8 or 9, but you probably are not going to bed until later. Instead of waiting for your baby to wake you up later, pick her up and feed her again just before you go to sleep. Hopefully, this will allow you to sleep at least 4 hours and maybe even six hours. You will be much more refreshed & she will still be getting enough food. Also, when she wakes up to eat you can try to delay the feeding a few minutes. If she's not crying, wait to see if she will go back to sleep. If she is crying walk slowly to the crib, and maybe even change her diaper before feeding her. If you do this everytime you may be able to coax her into sleeping a little later each time.
Good luck.
Three months old is way too young for a breastfed child to go all night without nursing. Also,I think it is too young to expect a child to be sleeping through the night regardless of feeding method. Follow your gut and continue to nurse your baby on demand...it is what is best for her :)
You've received a ton of great advice. I'd just like to comment about my son, our first born, compared to 20+ other babies his age in our 'mommy group'.
My son has reflux (from hiatal hernia, due to premature birth), still at 15mos. He still has to eat smaller meals more frequently, barely able to drink more than 6oz, so he will still wake up (maybe 3-4x/week) for a feeding. The peed is completely against this, but too bad.
A boy in our group was nursed exclusively, and all was wonderful until he was about 9mos. Then all of a sudden he was begging to nurse more often, sometime every hour thru the night. After 6weeks of this, and several conversations with a lactation consultant, they figured out that her milk quality had changed. It always had a 'skim' quality. Better diet, nursing longer, supplements, etc - they couldn't get it to improve. With the peed's recommendation, she put him on whole milk and all was well again. I tell this story in case your quality is changing.
Some moms in the group tried supplementing with formula, as recommended by others, to try and get their babies to sleep better during the night. Some tried adding cereal to pumped milk in bottles or formula in bottles. None of these tactics worked.
I'm just trying to share examples of how every baby is different - 'pediatrics in a box' will not work. If you are fine with nursing 2x/night, then absolutely do it (until it no longer works for you).
Good luck!!!!
I wouldn't stop. My daughter will be one in two weeks, and she still nurses twice at night. I breastfeed on demand, and plan to until she self-weans. With my three older children, I stopped nursing at night around 6 months, and had a hard time keeping my milk supply up after that. It's just not worth that to me, so I'll happily nurse this one as long as she wants to.
If you do decide to stop nursing at night, you simply don't get up. She'll cry for the first few nights, but start sleeping through after 3-4 days usually.
I'm sure you've gotten a bunch of responses, but wanted to add my 2 cents. My 90% for height & weight daughter just turned 8 months yesterday and only started sleeping through the night last week after figuring out how to sleep on her belly. She would wake up 1-2 times in the night (depending on when I really went to sleep) & I'd nurse her back to sleep. My son was only 40-60% in weight and he didn't sleep through the night until 17-18 months old even though he was sleeping on his stomach. Both times, my pediatrician said the same thing, that the baby should be sleeping through the night at least at the 6 month visit (I can't remember at the 3 month visit). With my daughter, I was actually advised to start feeding her solids closer to the 4 month mark if she wasn't sleeping through the night as she is so high on the growth chart. My son didn't start until almost 6 months due to his slower weight gain. Now, that all goes out the window in my house (at least) when the baby has been sick (daughter these last 3 days) or teething (son cut all teeth before 20 months of age). You can try to just cuddle & rock your daughter back to sleep if she wakes up and if that doesn't work after a bit, then nurse her. Listen to your pediatrician, but go with what works for you as you're the one that has to deal with the self-inflicted guilt by not feeding your daughter or deal with being sleep deprived.
Hi S. - My second child was like that as well - he nursed twice a night. I did decide to let him "cry it out" for the first feeding at around 4 months. I was hoping he would just start sleeping through the night at around 5 months just like my oldest son, but alas, he kept waking up for one feeding. I kept feeding him until he was 12 months old - huge mistake!! I should have let him cry it out when he was younger because weaning him later was difficult. You're ped is right, wean her from the night feedings and she will eat enough during the day to sustain her though the night.
I didn't stop night nursing until my daughter was 11 months old. At that point she was sleeping through the night some nights (at least 1-2 times/week) so I knew she was capable of sleeping through the night w/o nursing. At that point I started letting her cry if she woke up during the night- even though I'm not a fan of CIO. It's now been about 3 weeks and she's sleeping through the night most of the time. When she does wake up, I let her settle herself back down to sleep. At her 9 month appointment the ped did tell me that she shouldn't need to nurse during the night, but I wasn't ready to give it up yet because I still felt like she needed it. At 3 months baby is way too young because breastmilk digests so quickly. A baby can not be expected to sleep through the night until they are getting some solids to sustain them.
3 months seems rather young to be cutting her off at night. I didn't stop feeding my boys at night until they were 9 months old. I have heard that metabolically babies don't need to eat anything at night once they're 13 lb, but you might want to check into that one. I think you need to go with what feels right to you. For me 9 months was nice because I knew they definitely didn't need the breastmilk at night anymore but it was before the habit got too hard to break.
I think all babies are different and I'm pretty sure my son was still nursing during the night when he was 3 months old. He's 3 now, so that seems so long ago it's hard to remember all the details. I nursed on demand and always kept him pretty close to me. I also always remember hearing that breast milk digests faster than formula so babies that are breastfed need to eat more often. I remember alot of my friends who didn't breastfeed, their babies slept for longer stretches of time during the night. Trust your instincts and enjoy this time nursing, it's the best gift you can give your baby.
I wish I knew the answer to this with my first, but thank god I know it for my second two!...My step sister (mother of 12) told me when my daughter was still nursing twice a night at 12 months!!!!
At 3 months, she is old enough to make it through, but ONLY IF she has eaten to complete capacity all day long (not just a big feeding at night). If she is still waking, she is hungry. Offer her extra feedings all day-if she's hungry, she'll eat, if not, she won't. She won't over eat, and she won't necessarily cry if she's hungry.
It will take a few days for her body to register the increased calories and feel truly full, but she WILL sleep much longer once this happens. My one year old started sleeping through 3 days after I tried this, and my monstrously huge hungry boy has been sleeping through the night since 3 months. He's 18 months and I feed him all the time. (he's not fat, he eats only healthy food). My 6 week old is already only waking up only once because I feed her constantly in the day.
I used cry it out, and it worked fine, but they didn't really wake up once they were full. Good luck!
3 months??? I would get a new pediatrician... breastfeeding should be on demand. She is hungry at night because breastmilk digests much quicker/easier in a baby's belly and they are hungry more often. I wouldn't even consider a "schedule" for your baby until closer to 6 months...at that point you can slowly add cereal into her diet and that will help combat the hunger in the middle of the night.
I think you are right to question the dr's advice and do what is best for you and baby. Babies are not supposed to sleep through the night - some do (what a blessing) but that is not typical.
Good luck!
S.,
Babies all have an individual personality. If you daughter is asking up to nurse she's hungry or wants her mommy. My son didn't stop nursing until 13 months and he woke up every single night. he still wakes up at night for something to drink and he will be two (I know were working on it). However if she is only three months whats the rush she cant even eat solid foods when she starts to eat maybe the food will help her to sleep through the night. Give it time.
Shant'e
A 5 hr stetch is considered sleeping thru the night in the first year. It sucks for mom, but it is true. Some kids don't sleep thru the night till well into their school years. My daughter would get up 1-2x a night till she was about 5. Generally just to go to the bathroom or get a drink, but it is normal for babies and young kids to wake thru out the night.
Giving cereal, food, or formula before bed will NOT work either. This can actually have the opposite effect since it can upset her tummy and cause her pain.
At 3 months I would not expect her to be sleeping thru the night. Every baby is different, but my son was about 6 months old when he started sleeping from 8pm-4am, but then that changed when his teeth started cutting thru at about 8 months. Now he wakes 1-2x a night. Generally only once, but sometimes more. Just go with your mamma's instinct. It is generally right.
Also, when you do decide to train her to sleep thru the night. Check out the 'No Cry Sleep Method' if you are not fond of the idea of CIO. I have heard it works great, and will be using it with my son when we get to that point. I did CIO with my daughter, and would generally be crying in the other room with her because it would break my heart to listen to her cry, but I was young, and didn't know what else to do.
I haven't read the responses, but nursing a 3 month old at night is OK! There is nothing saying that you *have* to stop night nursing at any given time. Babies generally are not able to sleep through the night until 6 months of age - especially breast fed babies! Do what feels right and what you are comfortable with. I say keep up the night nursing for a bit and start looking for the cues that she is doing it for habit instead of nourishment. Then you can start going into the room and laying her down, pat her back for a minute, sing a soft song, and leave without nursing.
