When to Start "Real" Music Lessons (And What to Start With)

Updated on July 27, 2011
S.B. asks from Encino, CA
10 answers

Hi Moms -

My son will be three in September. He loves music and frequently pretends to play an instrument. I'd love to start him taking music lessons once he turns three (beyond the mommy & me type classes). For those of you whose kids started playing young, what age worked for them? What were good instruments to start with, and why? My personal preference is violin, but I've heard that's not a great one for small children. Finally, for those of you in the Encino, CA area, do you have a teacher you recommend for little kids? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks, all. It seems like my eagerness may need to be contained at this point. I'll wait a few years yet for formal lessons, and continue to explore music on our own. We did a kindermusic class for a while, but was not impressed. I'll look into Music Together. There's another class called The Music Class that I've had lots of friends take and is awesome, but they don't have it in LA.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

one of my friends is a piano/guitar/violin teacher. She does not take children under "reading age". After many years of struggling with youngsters, she finally realized it was the lack of reading that was creating difficulties for the little ones.

Hope this helps!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

We have been discussing this in our home too. DH wants our daughter to start the piano, but according to our music teacher, most kids under 6 aren't ready for it. Their hands are too small to learn proper technique and when you do find someone that gives such a young child lessons, it often takes years later on to "unlearn" little habits that come with improper technique they picked up due to them being too young.
Violin is a better instrument for kids that little, simply because they are available in "kid sizes" and the Suzuki Violin program for young children is very popular and widespread... if you google it I am sure you can find a teacher near you.
If you just want to introduce him to music and especially if he has not been in preschool or just started, I can only recommend starting out with kindermusik or something of that sort. It would be a waste of time and money to start a child in formal lessons that isn't ready to sit through 20 minutes of instruction.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I would start with piano as it provides a foundation for any instrument. You could also make sure he has access to instruments - keyboard, small drums, recorders, tamborines, etc, and encourage him to experiment as much as he likes (and you can tolerate!). I would be VERY careful not to cross the line to where he feels pressured at this age. Discipline is necessary for any instrument, but it has to be balanced, especially so young. My son has talent, but he was burned out by an overly strict teacher who didn't really understand kids. He might be interested in starting up now, a year later, but I regret putting him through four years of that. I've heard of talented kids who refuse to touch a piano after becoming quite accomplished through years of forced lessons and practice. It's a balancing act.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Our piano teacher won't take students until they can read well. That is the basic skill needed to learn to read music and begin the process of the brain mind linking up steps. Anything younger than that is just basically a play group that also works on skills and teaching that playing music is fun.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

You may not want my opinion because our son's first instrument was drums!! But it was what he wanted and begged for lessons starting at age 7. By age 8 we gave in and have never looked back. The boy is gifted and is an amazingly talented drummer. I am such a proud mama as I listen to him play and write his own music. He really is amazing. I am glad I let him lead us to what HE wanted...because I would have chosen piano or violin and it just wouldn't have been his passion.

I have heard piano is a great foundation but go for what he is interested in. I think 3 is too young personally to start lessons. Go to plays, musicals, concerts and expose him to different instruments. See what he leans toward and then go from there. Find what he has an ear for and an interest in ...then there is no forcing to do lessons. We never ever have to push our son to practice...he is always practicing.

Have fun exploring. Music lessons today are such a gift to children since music has been sooo underfunded in the schools. It is up to parents nowadays to supplement all music/arts. You are a good mama!!!

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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I teach piano and I do not recommend instrument lessons until the child develops an interest in the instrument and is enthusiastic about learning. For piano, this means children who can sit and be engaged in a single activity for 30 minutes and children who can read. This usually falls around 5 or 6.

For children younger than 5 or 6, I recommend introducing them to different types of music, instruments, and rhythm and making music FUN. This means listening to different stations on the radio, dancing to the music, playing "drums" (pots and pans) fast and slow, and learning the different types of instruments and how they make sounds. Additionally, this includes singing - his own built-in instrument!

Lastly, in choosing an instrument for your child to start. Consider your tolerance level for listening to the child practicing. Beginners practicing drums and string instruments tend to be jarring to the ear.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Three is a bit young for most kids. Many teachers won't even start them at three. We have had piano, violin, guitar, and now our little girls play harp. Piano is a great first instrument because it teaches a lot of music theory, which crosses over into other instruments. However, I think that violin would be great if that is what you want to do. They make smaller sized instruments for smaller people (children), and you just upsize when the time is right. You don't want to get a violin that is too big for him. My son learned violin as a first instrument, and he loved it. You can check music stores and google for ideas of who teaches in your area.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

The 2 instruments that are recommended for children this young are the violin and the piano.

Our close friend's daughter began playing the violin at age 3 /12, she's now 15 and still plays and still takes lessons. However, her main passion is now singing, but the violin has helped her to be a very talented singer.

Piano is a good choice because it sets a solid foundation for learning other instruments.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Our friend who is a piano teacher won't take any child younger than six because she says they need to be ready to pay attention longer than any three-year-old possibly can. If you push him now on an instrument you could end up with a lot of resistance and later he may decide he doesnt' "like" instrumental learning because he'll associate it with being forced to sit down and pay attention when he wasn't developmentally ready for that. Also, there's no use in instrumental instruction until he can practice and get the satisfaction of advancement -- Do you want to stand over him and push him to practice at this age? We didn't start our daughter on on instrument until she was nine and she began piano and violin at the same time and it has worked very well; she was ready to focus and practice.

As for first instruments, one thought: Violin is tough. Many school bands don't start violin until at least fourth grade (age 9 or 10). With a piano, anyone can get a decent "tune" out if it just by touching keys with one finger; but with violin and many other instruments, getting the pleasant experience of "making music" requires much more coordination. (I'm not saying piano is easy! My husband and daughter both play and it's not easy but it is definitely an instrument that anyone can get some form of tune out of at first.) That's why many kids start with piano.

Finally -- don't stop the "mommy and me" classes! Have you tried the Music Together program, which is national? We had excellent experiences with that and the parent participation is so vital. Music Together was designed by music educators and truly does give kids a grounding in hearing and keeping rhythms and tunes -- very important if you think he would enjoy an instrument later. The program goes through about age five so he has time yet to enjoy that. Check it out in your area. It may seem like just shaking tambourines and dancing around but it's all based in serious music education research -- ask a Music Together teacher. Kids are learning while they think they're only having fun!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

To be honest, it's my opinion that he needs to be older. If you really, really want to start him on an instrument, Suzuki violin would be the best. However, I don't recommend a 3 year old take lessons.

Kindermusik or First Note would be great for your son. Google it to find someone in your area.

Good luck,
Dawn

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