When to Start Potty Training Son

Updated on September 04, 2009
L.C. asks from Cornelia, GA
13 answers

My son is 17 months old. I was just wondering when to try to start potty training? I know there are signs to look for to see if he is ready. But I am not sure he is doing any of those signs (can tell me if he needs to go potty, goes awhile without wetting diaper, etc) I asked the pediatrician and he said boys usually start between 2 and 2 1/2. Does this sound about right? We have an Elmo potty DVD, can anyone give ant advice as to how to start potty training? Also, I am a teacher, so I thought maybe I should start at Christmas Break or over the summer when I am home and can devote my time to it? I am clueless! Thanks!

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P.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello, I'm a mother to 3 boys. My first son started p.t. when he was 18 mos old, even doing #2 (that was easy). My second son started to train at about 20 mos. He showed signs of readiness but it depended on the day with him. It became stressful for both of us. To add to the stress, I found out I was expecting with my 3rd child. I did not have the time to devote to baby #2(being consistent on the potty)...so I made the choice to let it go until after I delivered baby # 3. It was much easier for him and me. He was completely trained at 3 years 1 month. Best wishes to you on this.

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K.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I have heard kids are not neurologically able to potty train until 18 months. My first son potty trained w/ no struggle at 21 months right after my second was born. He had shown signs/interest earlier but I had been told he would just regress with the stress of a new brother. Looking back I wish I had just done it at 20 months when he first was interested. I think the birth would not have been a problem.

My second was 22 months and showing no real signs. He started saying poo-poo when he would go potty in his diaper at 20 months but also would deny when he had poop in his diaper and run away. My older son was going to camp (9-2pm) for a week and knowing my 22mo son was over 18 months, I decided to try for that week. From 9-2pm (and as much of the rest of the day as possible) I had him walk around the house w/ no clothes from the waist down. I had a little kid potty for him and gave him a little nummy (a jelly bean usually) for pee pee and a big nummy (lolly pop) for a poo-poo. I seriously thought I was wasting my time since he hadn't shown signs. I was SHOCKED when he had it after 2 days. He had occasional accidents after that but he UNDERSTOOD and 90+ percent of the time for the next 2 weeks he made it to the potty... even while we were out. If he had an accident, I'd just say "oopsy, let's change your pants" (no big deal), then "next time let's try to do it in the potty so we can have a nummy!" I also praised him like crazy - called daddy and grandparents to tell them the good news when he went in the potty saying how proud I was of him, etc. After the first couple weeks, I started weaning him off the candy - would give a sticker or a tattoo instead, gave high fives, etc. Then for a couple weeks I just distracted him for a bit afterwards and he would forget about the treats. Now at 25 months he doesn't even ask for treats anymore. * Oh the other thing - I encouraged intake by giving juice (a treat for my kids) those first few days to try to give him as much experience w/ the feeling of needing to go pee pee as possible.

I WOULD NOT WAIT until 3 years as some have suggested is best. My sister-in-law was of the opinion that you should just wait until the kid is ready. Their 2nd child was nearly 4 when they started to try to potty train him b/c he had never shown interest himself. He would walk around with his diaper sagging to his knees full of pee/poop and just not care. Now at 5 he still occasionally poops in his pants. He is a very smart/gifted kid. Just stubborn and used to pooping his pants at this point.

Now getting rid of diapers while sleeping... a different story.

Maybe Thanksgiving break would work out perfectly for you to try. Good luck. Try to make it fun and positive - NO STRESS or it won't work.

K.

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M.C.

answers from Savannah on

Wait until he's ready and it will be much easier. My son learned in one day. I bought him some cool underwear that he loved and that was it--no more diapers. This was a month before his third birthday and the easiest thing I ever did with him.

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A.V.

answers from Atlanta on

ok so my son is 21 months and we just started potty training...you really do need time to devote to it or make sure whoever stays with him when you aren't KNOWS what you are doing and will actually do it. I made up a potty chart that he gets to put a sticker on everytime he actually goes in the potty, and so far he LOVES that. Just when you start pt you can always stop at anytime cause you don't want to force him to do it. Good luck

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E.B.

answers from Macon on

I suggest you wait. Almost all the boys I know are not fully trained until they are 3...sometimes close to 3.5. I think if you start now you may confuse him with the "sometimes" philosophy. Sometimes you wear a diaper, sometimes you use the potty, sometimes you wear a pullup. Eventually he'll "choose" the diaper and push away the potty. I'd wait until he's 2.5 and then dive right in 100%. You'll be able to reason with him more and he will also be able to fully understand the concept. Sure, use your potty and watch movies about it but I wouldn't encourage him too much because he's still little.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

All of the little boys I know did not train until they were 3 yrs + and the earlier you start the longer it takes. don't push him, it will take twice as long.

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L.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My son got potty trained just before turning 3 in five days flat. I waited until he was older and ready for sure, then put him in underwear. He peed all day long, and I just kept cleaning it up. The next day, fewer accidents. By day three, no accidents. The only remaining problem was pooh. That was solved two days later. My son has had no accidents since then. He is five now. I am the mom of three and step mom of four. For what it's worth, about 6 boys could NOT get potty trained in the three year old class at pre-school, so boys are later at this. I would not concern myself with this for now.

I don't like pull-ups. The kids are not uncomfortable enough once they go...not enough incentive to stop. Take my example above, my son did not like wet underwear and the leaking down his leg. He STOPPED. I had fiddled around with pull-ups for a few months before FINALLY just doing it the "old-fashined way" like I had done with my much older children.

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B.W.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

It really does depend on when they are ready, and every child is different. If you start it too soon you will only stress the child and yourself out. It can be done, but it will be a lot of work and annoyance. When they are ready it generally takes only a couple of days.

Look for signs that he canhold it at least an hour. That he is aware of it when he goes and doesn't like it, wants to be changed. And he should have some interest in the potty and using it.

One thing I have done with my children, and I have 4, is once I started seeing some of the signs I would pull out the training underwear. (they're a little thicker so you don't have quite such a big puddle.) I would let them wear underwear for a day and just talk about the potty, encourage them to go there, but not push it too much. Of course if they do go there we would make a huge deal out of it. During this time I was also watching closely to see how often they were going. In my experience a child that will wet every 10-30 minutes is not yet ready to potty train.

With my first son, it wasn't until he was 3 1/2 that he trained. And when he did it was quick and easy, about 2 days. But up until that point he had no interest, peed every 10 minutes in his underwear and wasn't bothered by it at all, thought it was funny. My next son was 2 1/2 and he was much more aware and did it easily. He is 5 now though and still has to wear a nighttime diaper for accidents. From what I've read, boys often lag quite a bit in the nighttime department. Then there was my daughter. At 2 1/2 she was ready and pretty much trained in one day, and I realized she was waking up dry as well, so she actually did night and day at the same time. My youngest is 20 months old and I haven't even thought about him yet. No signs that he is ready.

I think potty training is something we stress a lot over with our first child, however, hopefully we then learn that you really just have to take it easy and they will get it when they are ready.

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J.S.

answers from Macon on

My daughter was potty trained by 15 months old. I would advise to wait until you are off for a week or so. I was blessed that my daughters daycare provider worked with her so well, that she was trained in a week. I knew she was ready because she stopped using the bathroom at night around 10 months old. I started a little before her 1st Bday, but I didn't stick with it. She was ready then. (was working like mad and the school she was in didn't potty train until two). Needless to say I moved her to an in home daycare). I will say that for what I have seen with my friends, the longer they waited the harder it was for the child and themselves. Good Luck!

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J.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Yes, I would agree with your pediatrician's time-table, and waiting until you are on Christmas break is a good idea. My son was potty-trained just before 2 1/2 (I was, also, teaching at the time and waited until I was home for the summer), and my daughter was trained just before she turned two. When they started showing interest in the potty, I knew they were ready.

I think the best technique is to allow your child to go around naked so he can actually see and feel when he needs to go to the bathroom. He'll eventually figure out that that's when he needs to go to the potty. Yes, at first he'll have accidents on the floor, but he'll learn faster this way. After he goes for a day or two successfully without underwear, you can then introduce fun underpants for him. I would not use any kind of training pant because they feel just like a diaper and prolong the potty-training period.

You need to commit to staying home for a few days, and be prepared for a little frustration. However, if you start when your child is ready, and go for it full-force ( not relying on Pull-ups or other training pants), your child could become potty-trained within a week.

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

L.,
your pediatrician's advice is correct- little boys aren't usually ready until at least 2.
Go ahead & show him the video & get books on potty training so he's familiar with it.
I would buy a potty when he shows signs of being ready to train & let him sit on it when he tells you he needs to go and after meals & bedtime. I would wait until next summer to do the serious potty training (if he's ready), and I recommend the bare-bottom method when you have a few days to devote solely to training him... this is where he is bare-bottomed & you are outside or in a room with a potty all day. Use a reward system with something he loves. It worked for my twins really well- they were trained in a week when they were ready using the bare-bottomed method!
Good Luck!

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I taught my two oldest boys (I have 3 boys and 1 girl) at 2 years 6 months exactly. They had it down in one week (not the story of my girl). Anyway, I had them sit down (never had a missed aim, even at this age) and not to stand up...that came much, much later. Typically a child does not tell you before hand, when they need to go....that's usually after they are potty trained. All of my children (well at least the first 3) started waking up with a dry diaper around 18 months. (I know that isn't typical.) But fortunately my boys could wear underwear day and night.

I agree about waiting til Christmas break or summer time. It makes it much easier when you, as the parent, can devote the time to it. What I did with my first was set a timer and go fairly often.....20 minutes, then I was able to extend it to 30, then 40 and so on. My kids, drink up to the moment they go to bed, and I never had a problem, as long as they went potty before bedtime. Shoot, sometimes, they took their sippy cup of water to bed with them! lol My second boy could hold it longer...half the day...all day unfortunately, but I was still able to get him potty trained. They both potty trained within a week and by the end of the week, they were telling me when they needed to go potty (pee and poo).

My girl is a different story. Hit and miss with this little priss. She is currently 3.5 years old and still can't wear underwear during the day. Sometimes she wants to go and sometimes she doesn't.

As far as age and being ready, well it depends on the child as well as the parent. I have a friend and she potty trains her kids (her two oldest are boys) when they are around 18 months.

I did give my boys toys everytime they went potty. (hot wheel cars). I bought a bunch and put them in a bag. They got to pick. My daughter wasn't ready for that at age 2 or age 2.5...and I even tried that. NOW, she is ready for it, but it's still not consistent with her unfortunately, even with toys and candy.

Good luck!
40yo Mother of 4

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H.D.

answers from Atlanta on

We are in the same boat! I wish I could read your answers! Good Luck!

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