When to Send Son to School

Updated on March 15, 2008
T.F. asks from Sainte Genevieve, MO
98 answers

My son will turn 5 in June. I am debating about sending him to school this year or wait until next year to send him. I would love to hear from mom's who have sent their children and also those that have held them back a year.

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So What Happened?

First I want to say thank you to everyone that responded to my question. After talking to the teachers we decided it would be better to wait until next year to send him to school. I think this is the best decision for our son. I think in the long run he will do better in school and in sports. Thank you again for all of your advice.

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M.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi, my daughter was 4 when we sent her to pre-k. I think it was the best thing we could have done for her. It helped her socially as well as academics. I dont know what school system you are in, but Sangre has a great kindergarten and pre-k!!

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C.W.

answers from Wichita on

I personally don't have kids with summer birthdays but I have watched my sister. She sent her daughter "early" & held her son a year (when they were both of age). Her daughter has struggled since day 1 but her son has soared. After watching this and knowing both kids If I had the choice I would hold my kids. One year makes a big difference to them. I highly reccomend a good preschool.

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B.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi, my name is B.. I have a 10 year old and a six year old. My 10 year old has a birthday in July. I started him in Pre-K which was okay, but by Kindergarten I realized that I should have waited. I kept asking the school if they would hold him back. They never recommended it. The year he was to go to second grade they stopped Transition between 1st and 2nd. The teacher said he would be perfect for that, but we kept on going. For his whole school career I've regretted not holding him back. I should have demanded it, but I was afraid of what it would do to him if he had to stay back. HIs brother has a birthday in October and he is in Kindergarten and doing so much better. He's older but you can't tell.

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M.L.

answers from Tulsa on

T., since you already have older children you've obviously dealt with this but maybe you are asking because your son has a late birthday. I think they should be in some sort of school as soon as possible because all kids love school at that age. They really thrive at this age. If you are asking about starting kindergarten in the fall or wait a year then only you and your husband will know what to do. ANd what will help is if you have a point of reference if he is with a group of children in pre-K at the present. Some parents do wait and I've never met one that regretted it, but some don't and their children seem to do well to. The general rule seems to be...if you have doubts about your kid starting Kinder- due to maturity or intellect or anything else, then its best to wait a year- but keep him in some sort of school.

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S.C.

answers from Topeka on

As an elementary teacher and a mom of a 4 year old to turn 5 in July, I can see both sides and I suggest that you consult with a kindergarten teacher or research the state standards (www.ksde.org). Kindergarten students these days often have a disadvantage as they are expected to know so much more than when we attended school, plus, there is such a HUGE achievement gap from the kids that have had great experiences outside/before school and those that have never been exposed to literacy events.

Honestly, I worry about sending my son to school this August as well, but know that he is absolutely fine academically, in fact, reading at a middle year first grade level right now and fine with math also, so the only concern would be social, and I think we could work with that. I work with a lot of children that have late birthdays so are very young for their class and know that a lot of them do struggle if they don't go into it ahead of the game. The developmental level often has trouble catching up to where the others are.

The best suggestion is to check out the state standards and see which things your child can do right now or if they have a long way to go. Also, it would be great to consult with an outside (not the same school you plan to attend) kindergarten or preschool teacher to see if they think your son would fit in well in a kindergarten class right now. There is research on both sides of retention, and even after parents fighting to have a child held back, I know a lot of the schools in KS have a no-retention policy right now, so do check into that as well.

Hope this helps a little.

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L.B.

answers from Wichita on

My oldest son was an early June baby. I think we should have held him another year. He went to pre-school at 4 yrs old, did well until this year, 5th grade, and it's been a struggle. Boys are immature and he is struggling acedemically this year. Partially because he is immature and not buckling down and he is also a Type 1 diabetic that has to be gone from class a lot due to his blood sugars. I had a friend who taught Kindergarten for many years and she said that as a whole....boys born in June or after did better in school if they waited another year! Good luck in your decision.

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T.M.

answers from Wichita on

Hi T. -
I know the stress that you are going through, as my son has a July 1st birthday and turned six last summer. This decision of "to send or not to send" was something my husband and I struggled with since our son was born. Ultimately we waited a year and he's one of the older children in his class. At this point he is a little bit bored with all of the kindergarten things, as he had an extra year to learn what the rest of them are learning now. However, we kept him out for three reasons. Perhaps these will help you.

1.) The majority of the summer birthday students in his class (particulary boys) waited to start like he did. The "younger" kids are really the April and May birthdays, rather than the true summer students. Had we sent him a year earlier he would have been "the youngest" (70 of 72) in his class.

2.) Although he's a tall child, his body is still developing at the rate of a six-year-old. Thus, he's just now losing his teeth like everyone else in class. Had he been a first-grader, I can only imagine his disappointment that he's the last one to lose his first tooth the middle of his first grade year. I really didn't want that "year" difference between his development and the rest of his peers his whole life.

3.) When push came to shove, we just felt giving him a leg up in every situation throughout his first 21 years would be the best thing for him. He's a really bright child, so keeping him out another year has been challenging academically (as I said before he is a bit bored.) However, in sports, he's doing much better with the athletic teams that are at the kindergarten level, than at the first grade level. An in his body development he's right on track with everyone else.

This is such a personal and tough decision. I wish you the best! - T.

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K.M.

answers from St. Louis on

does he act like he is ready? is he ready to learn? i sent one of my daughters when she was 5 but she was ready. she wanted to learn more and more everyday. my 2nd i waited because she was still having some issues learning so I left her in preshool another year.

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A.M.

answers from Columbia on

I am a first grade teacher. I would recommend holding him back one more year. It has been my experience that the majority of June and July babies,especially boys, tend to struggle through school when pushed into school too early. Some even end up being retained later, so in the long run it would be better to wait one more year.

A. Mitchell
mother of 2 boys (2yrs and 8months)
first grade teacher (11 years)

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D.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My son was six when he started kindergarten. He was ready academically at five but is simply soaring in all ways by us holding him back. He attends all day and it is quite a long day for a little person. At six it is so much easier. We have two boys that are 12 months apart. We are waiting with our second son as well. I taught 8th grade. It may not seem evident until the student is older but it is good to have that extra year. My motto is that you can't get that year back.

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G.B.

answers from Lawton on

T.,
When my son was old enough for kindergarten, I was not ready for him to go all day. He was very sociable and enjoyed other children, but was not interested in learning. I was told it is a "boy thing" and that girls are more interested in learning at 5. I ended up sending him to Altus Christian Academy because they had a half day kindergarten program. I just didn't feel he was ready for a full day. He did very well and instead of sending him to all day kindergarten the next year(holding him back), I sent him on to 1st grade. My son is now in 2nd grade and goes to Sunset. The transition to Sunset in 1st grade was a breeze and he is doing great - he loves learning and makes straight A's. I highly recommend ACA. I feel they gave him the educational boost he was needing. It costs to send your child there, but is very worth it. They are wonderful christian people who love what they do. They also have a great preschool program. Anyway, if you are unsure about a full day of kindergarten, ACA is a good alternative and the following year you could send him to all day kinder or 1st grade, whichever he is ready for.
Good Luck!
G.

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G.C.

answers from Tulsa on

As a former teacher, I would give you son every opportunity to be ready for school, before he starts. We kept our daughter out for an extra year and were never sorry. She was ready to start reading and thought school was great because she enjoyed every challenge. I suggest, keeping him out for another year.

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B.B.

answers from Wichita on

I advise waiting a year. My son turned 5 in July. We sent him to school. I always wished we had waited. He worked so hard for his grades, ended up not liking school and then he dropped out in his senior year! He now wishes he had finished, of course. I just always thought it would have been easier for him to have waited a year. Good luck in your decision!

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S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi, I'm S. and I'm in the same boat as you right now. I just posted my concerns on M if you want to read it.
Have you had your 4 year old evaluated yet?

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S.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi T., I understand where you are coming from. I use to be a pre-school teacher and the answers always seemed so simple until I had to ask them about my own child. I have a son who has a June 28th birthday. He is now 9 and in fourth grade. We decided to send him to Kindergarten when he turned 5 instead of waiting a year. I asked his pre-school and they thought he was ready. I wondered for years if we made the right choice. I think either way we would have questioned our decision. Overall he has adjusted and is doing okay. I would try and get a screening and ask as many questions as you can. Best of luck and remember whatever you decide will be what is best for your child.

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J.F.

answers from Wichita on

My son turned five in July before his K year. He does great he's now in 2nd grade. And he said he wanted to go...I think it depends on the child. If you feel he's ready to learn (they expect a lot these days) and he can sit for awhile. Go for it! One more thing I would mention is check into your schools teachers, because that can make a HUGE difference.

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H.R.

answers from Springfield on

Well in Illinois you can send your children to pre-k at 3 as long as they know how to go to the bathroom and know how to wipe and they start going to kindergarten at 5 so yeah i think you should send him.!!

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D.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My Son and wife have 3 children, each of them began attending a Headstart program at the age of three. There are so many advantages to getting children started early, one of which is helping those children become emotionally and socially prepared for "all-day" schooling. Their youngest couldn't wait to be able to "go to school" just like his brother and sister. He was chomping at the bit till his third birthday to go. They have done remarkably well. I think maybe your son can best answer this question for you. Is there a reason to keep him home that should be considered such as his developmental & cognitive skills that would hinder good emotion and social development? I don't have any example of children being held back, but I wish you luck with your decision.

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R.J.

answers from Wichita on

Hi T.. I am a married mother of 3. My oldest is 13 and my only son. He had the opportunity to go to preschool two years before he went to KG. He has a July b-day. Every child is different. Our son has always been very social and outgoing and never had trouble making friends. He also has never had trouble in the academic area or trouble otherwise ever in all his school years. I think that mothers know their children best, and I guess I would say just try to go by his personality. I also know many mothers who waited a year, and they have never had regrets, just as I have never had any regrets about sending him on time. He is one of the shorter boys in his class, but I told him, you can't tell if you would have waited a year, if you still would have been one of the shorter boys. Everybody grows at different stages in their lives, especially boys. We also sent our daughter to school at age 5 and she has a May b-day. She is somewhat more sensitive about her emotions, but I would say that is more her personality and not so much to do with age. I have felt so far, though, that neither of my children have had trouble with school because of their age.
-R.

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M.E.

answers from Bloomington on

Our twelve year old son has a birthday at the end of July and we sent him to school when he just turned 5. He really has had a great experience with school, with one exception. During the first part of his first grade year he struggled for a few months with reading. He quickly caught up and was reading ahead of his grade level but it did take some intervention from us as parents to read more with him.(We were already reading some.) I really feel the school district he was in was a big part of the problem. It was a great school district with the exception of the time spent on instruction in kindergarten. Our second son had the very same issue but so far our two older girls have done great with reading. (The girls attended a different school with an all day kindergarten.) Socially our son has done very well. He won't be able to drive until he is a Junior. I think I like that;)
We have 6 children 12 years old to newborn. Godd luck with your decision.
M.

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L.B.

answers from Rockford on

Since you have your own business....have you ever considered Homeschooling? L.

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K.W.

answers from Tulsa on

My daughter's birthday is in August, and she was very young--barely 5--when we sent her to Kindergarten. We ended up putting her in a "transitional first" grade class before she went to a regular first grade class, and I think that's made all the difference. She's always been very bright, but she was just so much younger than her other classmates. When her kindergarten teacher approached us at the last parent teacher conference of the year, she told us that her grades were great and she would probably do fine until about 3rd grade, and then she might struggle. She still would probably keep up, but the way her kdg. teacher put it was she could either be a leader or a follower. Putting it in those terms, we decided on the transitional first grade class. Since then, she has always been at the top of her class, in the advanced classes, and has been a straight a student. She's very happy with the group of kids she's with, and instead of being the baby of the group, she's one of the oldest and truly has taken on a kind of leadership role. I don't regret for a second keeping her back. Besides, it gives her one extra year of being a kid before she has to go off to college. She's in 5th grade now, and is a very good student and happy girl. Whichever way you decide to go, I wish you the best of luck.

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi T.!

I sent my kid to Kindergarten at 5 yrs old (he turned 5 on May). Today, I think that we should have waited a little more. Academically, he is great and he was great in K and 1st grade, but that part of maturity is VERY important at school. He is now, 7 years old, and he is still emotionally behind his peers, so silly sometimes that most of his peers cannot understand the way he is, and of course for teachers is not easy either.He just want to play all the time and talk and be social.
I think, honestly, that for a kid to go to school is not just a matter of being smart or knowing colors, shapes, letters, numbers,, etc...and being so social..(that was my kid's case)it is also a matter of MATURITY and that plays a huge role. I did not know that before until know. That's why I am going to send my other kid (almost 2 yrs. old) school later than my first born. That was my experience.

Good Luck and think about it!

Alejandra

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

Dr. Raymond Moore is someone that I enjoy reading. He recommended keeping children at home as long as possible. His advice was children learn more from unstructured play and activities than they do from structured school work - until they are at least eight to ten years old. You might check into some of his works.

God bless.

K.

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D.D.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi T.!
Since you already have a son who has made it through the school system, you probably already have a bit of an idea as to how your 5 year old will fair. As an educator for the past 20 years, and having home schooled my own kids through 7th grade, I have many mixed feelings on this subject. The primary question, however, anyone must ask themselves is, "Is my particular child ready for school?" Does your child show an eagerness to learn? Does he already have a certain understanding about reading, math concepts?

My oldest son, who is now 16, would have been greatly hampered if I had not begun his formal education when he was 5. He is the kind of child that absorbs any and all reading material, etc. My other son, who is now 13, started off well, but when he got into his later elementary years a processing handicap became apparent. He has the ability to learn a great deal, but his ability to "process information" back in written form is painfully slow. So, at 13, we enrolled him in a private school as a 7th grader instead of moving him onto 8th grade. He was furious with us, but is now very happy how everything has turned out. My youngest, a girl, exhibited reading difficulty at a fairly early age. I continue to home school her. While she is technically a third grader (and she is definitely a big girl for her age) she is working on mastering reading at a second grade level. Wehave finally brought her reading confidence level up so that she actually loves reading now! Last year she saw herself as a nonreader. So......every child is so different in when they are ready to begin formal schooling.

As you are probably already aware, many people choose to hold boys back because of their desire to give them a physical edge over other kids. If your child is busting at the seams to learn, then holding him back to give him that physical edge would be a disservice to his educational well being. However, if you really aren't sure about his readiness level, then holding him back probably won't hurt.

"Know thy child." This is the best advice I can possibly give. Also, know that any decision will not make or break your child when you know you are giving the best thought you can into that decision. Your support is the main thing he will need no matter which way you go.

Good Luck and God Bless!

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J.C.

answers from Tulsa on

My "first" family were older due to birthdays but I taught preschool so they weren't at home. Raising a second family and the oldest one has special needs...she's 12 but third grade level but the youngest is 6 & in first grade. She's the youngest in her class but we've had her since birth and as an "older" parent I worked with her. They need to know so much before they get to school. The Pre-K program is great if he's needing a "boost" otherwise I wouldn't hold him back unless he needs more maturity. Good luck. Jalynn

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Our son didn't start to school until he was 6. I'm glad we did. He was not ready. He went to preschool for two years and his preschool teacher told us that he wasn't ready. Today he is a great student in 8th grade. He was are youngest. We have a 18 yearr old girl, senior going to KU in the fall.

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D.B.

answers from St. Louis on

If you have any doubt I would say hold him back. I don't think you will regret holding him back but you could regret sending him. My son's birthday is July 30th. We held him back. He is currently in kindergarten and doing wonderful! I think he could have academically and socially made it last year but thinking ahead I could see an issue with self-confidence and with athletics, if that is something he would be involved in. Not only is he more academically ready but more physically ready. I am a high school counselor and also have my early childhood certificate. In all my training, boys have a tougher time in the school setting when it comes to sit down work. The easier the work is to them the more success they will have in completing it. You will also want to think ahead. If you send him, he will be one of the last to drive in his class. Along with driving comes the ability to date. Not that I want to deal with that any time soon, it is an important part of being in high school. Your son will not have that freedom until the summer before his junior year. Sounds great to a mother but not so great to a high school boy. I would want my son to be the one driving instead of catching rides from peers who I don't know their driving ability. I also think not only is there a mental advantage to holding him back but a year physically can make a difference as an athlete. Boys tend to mature later than girls and being one of the oldest, instead of the youngest, can have its advantages. I have seen it as a coach. I coached basketball for eight years and observed that factor. I was one of the oldest in my class while my older brother was the youngest in his. The level of self-confidence was easily seen between the two of us. My brother graduated at the age of 17. That is still young. Why not keep him at home another year! That's one more year for you!

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C.W.

answers from Tulsa on

My son has an August birthday and is in the 1st grade. Our school district has a program that has a 1/2 step between kinder and 1st and 1st and 2nd. In kindergarten our son was doing well academically so he was put in 1st. Because he's so much younger than his peers he is already feeling like he has no friends because of his behavior being a little immature compared to the others who are a few months older. And he does not understand this. Now we are seeing that maybe he should have gone to the 1/2 step. We probably will put in the 1/2 step next year. I would hold him back. If holding back means he will soar later, by all means hold him back.

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think now is the time that it matters the most. But later it certainly can. I have 3 kids entering the big bad world now. 2 of my daughters had the late birthdays/early starts. They were fine in school but for various reasons we ended up holding them back later which had more to do with transitioning from homeschooling to traditional school. I'm glad we did because we could have let them graduate early and then they would have had one less year to "grow up" while they were free to run around and do as they please. And yet.. It's hard to see them struggle with their new found independence while they are still in school. It's odd to see a school system demanding paperwork from mom and dad when the kid is 18 and they feel like they should be all grown up.

I'm all for waiting as long as possible to put them out there around all the influences. My daughters were sheltered as much as possible in their early years and though they feel that they wanted out there sooner, they are much more responsible than the average teenage friend I've seen them bringing over. They have all 3 entered management much sooner than most kids their age. My 20 year old is in a management title that is given mostly to people in their 30s. Our 17 year old has been a manager at McDonald's for over a year already.

If your son is emotionally ready to go, then it doesn't matter all that much one way or the other.

Suzi

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L.H.

answers from Peoria on

Has your son been to preschool?

My son has a May birthday and I started him in Kindergarten at 5. However, he had went to preschool the two previous years and would have been bored repeating preschool or staying home. He is in Kindergarten this year and I don't regret my decision.

However, I have a friend who's son has a July birthday and she waited and I believe it was the best decision for your child. You know your child the best...Follow your instincts.

Good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Wichita on

Hi T.,
My name is C. with a few comments...Wow! I understand how you feel about this decision...it is one that my husband and I kept saying to each other...should we send our son and also a daughter to school at age 5?
***Should you send your son to school, your husband and you are the one to decide. Here are few comments that might help:
**Does he talk about going to school? Eager?(Mature?)
**Ask the school about a free screening that can check his academic and social readiness.

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

It's really going to depend on your child. If he is doing well in pre-school and your gut feeling is that he can handle kindergarten by all means send him. But if he isn't emotionally ready or not learning at a pace you are comfortable with in pre-school then hold him back. Kindergarten screening is also available and they can check to see if he's ready according to the school district standards.

The wonderful thing I've noticed about Missouri schools is the wide range of ages in each grade. I sent all three of my boys at 5. It worked well for two of them. However it didn't work quite as well for my youngest. He was emotionally and mentally ready but has struggled with some retention issues which are just starting to clear up. He is in first grade now and doing well with help from his regular teachers and his reading teacher.

Whatever you decide, trust your instincts and what you know is best for your child.

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J.P.

answers from Tulsa on

Is there a reason why you feel you should wait? I just now have a 3 year old as my first child and I'm dreading the day she goes to school (for several reasons). I know it's still early, but she is sooo smart and really wants to be social. There's all sorts of school programs for younger kids that she could go to, but I just keep asking myself, "should I let her go?" It feels selfish or paranoid, or both, but for whatever reason I feel reluctant. I'm going to need to be home schooling material if I don't put her in school because her brain is moving at the speed or sound. But what about the social interactions? Wow, maybe I need to put in a request. Sorry about the thinking on your response, I guess I didn't help. But at least you're not the only one with this kind of question. :)

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T.S.

answers from St. Louis on

As a former teacher who is now a stay at home mom. You are the best judge of whether your son is ready or not. I really believe holding children back in school is very difficult on them both mentally and emotionally so if you do not feel he is ready -- it is better to hold him off ayear now than to have to hold him back a year later. Is he socially ready - can he work well with other kids? Is he developmentally ready? Is he already absorbing information more quickly than you can give it to him. Can he handle the structure of school? If not hold back a year and work on adding more structure into his day.
Good luck and trust your instincts. In your heart you know if you think he is ready or not. Trust that!!
T. Smith

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A.U.

answers from Kansas City on

I too am married with four children. My oldest is now 14 and he has a June birthday as well. My youngest is 7 and she has a late July birthday. They both started school at 5 years old and have done well. My other two children have January and February birthdays so they were 5 1/2. I saw no real difference in any of them. Kids are sponges and love to absorb knowledge.

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

My son turned 5 in July and I sent him to school. He is now in 4th grade. While acedemically he has done fine, socially he has struggled. Also, there are a few boys who waited and physically they are more developed (sports, etc). I made the decision because I feel that my son will always need to be challenged or will get bored very easily. So the challenge of competing against older, more mature kids has been good for him. Socially he has pretty much caught up and again his grades are great. So overall I think we made the right decision.

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M.C.

answers from Topeka on

There is no easy concrete answer. Our son turned 5 beginning of July and was ready when the School year came in August. He was mature emotionally and interested in learning numbers, letters and etc. I also run a home daycare and he could sit and do the activities we were doing with interest. But, he is one of the youngest in his class, which shows in size only. My oldest turned 5 in January was NOT ready for Kindergarten until that August. It would have been a huge mistake to have sent him right after turning 5. He needed that other part of the year to mature and be interested in learning-which he was not at the time. My boys are now 11yrs and 14 yrs old. And remember boys mature later than girls. Ask a trused person to give you a honest answer if they think he is ready. My nephew had to repeat Kindergarten and it bothered him a LONG time that he was "held back". He would have had less issues had he waited a year. Do what is best for him, not what is easiest for you. Hope this helps you and best to him.:)

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L.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Three of our five children are summer birthdays, June and July. We have waited on all of them for kindergarten until they were six. We have found the "better late than early" theory/method holds true. Our oldest is a high school senior who was academically ready for school at five, however, maturity wise he was not. He is now a leader in his school and at church. I could write to you about all of them, but you probably don't want to hear about it all. I will say that our second child, now 16, was socially ready at five but not academically, she is doing very well as an older student.
I also spoke with our church preschool administrator, as well as others in the educational system, I consistently received the answer, they will be better off if you wait. I also felt like, why push them to grow up any faster than necessary, and I received the perk of having my babies around with me another year. My youngest, now five, will start kindergarten in the fall as a six year old, ready to take on the world.

Blessings to you T.!

Janet L

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N.W.

answers from Kansas City on

We were going to wait to send our daughter because once they are in they are IN. But she was ready. She could read, add, subtract and was really ready for some more stimulation. I think it all depends on the child. For reference all but one of the kids in her class have taken very well to school and this is full-day kindergarten.

I'd say if you think he's ready go ahead and send him! And I very much recommend full-day. They seem to get a lot more time to work and to play!

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K.K.

answers from St. Joseph on

I have a daughter age 7 now. Her birthday is late August. We had her tested and started her a 5 years old. She is struggling. We have to do extra reading every night. She seems to do just average. I'm not sure if it's the attitude or the age. Good luck! There are no easy choices.
K.

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

Dear T.,
My husband and I have 4 children, 8yo daughter, 4yo daughter, 2yo daughter and 1yo son. We ourselves, keep very busy too, lol. When it came time to send my daughter to school there was no question for me, she was absolutely ready. I may not have felt so ready but she certainly was. I think the real question here is whether he is truly ready or not. I have a close friend who held her eldest(who is only 3 days younger than my 8yo) back a year and it has turned out to be the best thing she could have done for her. She just simply was not ready the year before. I also have had an experience myself as a child. I was ready, the school said I was ready but my mother decided that she was not ready, so, I stayed home another year. I was absolutely devistated and it has followed me to this very day. I hope that this helps you in some way. And I hope that I have not confused you in my rambling. Kea K

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L.E.

answers from Wichita on

T., I am a mother of 4 boys, 2 of which had summer birthday's. I kept both summer babies home an extra year and have never regretted it. Remember that the reason to keep them home with you an extra year is a maturity issue, not a cognitive issue. As the maturity develops, I saw by high school, they were more mature than their peers and were mature enough to make good choices. As a preschooler educator I would recommend keeping summer birthday boys home with mom an extra year. I have always used a postive term about this issue rather than a negitive sounding one. Staying home an extra year sounds much more positive to the child than "held him back a year". Good luck. L.

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C.K.

answers from Kansas City on

As a former teacher, I would say to wait another year. It is a proving fact that boys mature at a slower rate then girls at this age. But, also if your son has older brothers and sisters then his maturity may be more advanced due to conversations at home and association. Some states have a preschool in their public school system, you may want to look into that. Maybe a half day of preschool and a half day of kindergarten.

CK

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D.B.

answers from Springfield on

Hi,
I have three sons, two of which missed the cutoff date to begin school by just days. Seeing them now in 4th and 6th grade, it is obvious what a huge advantage it was to allow them to be the oldest in their class. They are mature for their age, very academically successful, and emotionally stable and secure. There are only good things I can say about it! They are now slightly bigger than their friends, which is always an advantage for boys. I would really encourage you to keep your son back one more year. This is what I did with our third son, who turned 5 in July last year. I know he will reap all of the benefits that his brother did, and I already see that he is more mature and ready to begin school than he was six months ago. I hope this helps!

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C.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi T.,
We had that same problem, almost, as both of my kids were born in September. The cutoff for the school system was Sept. 1. My daughter was more than ready for kindergarten, but since her birthday was 2 weeks past the cutoff date, they would not allow it. Same for my son, but his birthday was only one week beyond the cutoff. As it turned out, it has been a drawback for my daughter, because being a girl, she matured (as girls do!) enough to be ready and wanted to go. Looking back, for her, I probably should have put her in private school for the first 2 years, as the public schools said they didn't care how old they were when they went into second grade, just couldn't start them in kindergarten if their birthday was past the cutoff. For my son, it was a good thing, as I'm suspecting it will be for your son, to wait. Boys mature slower than girls, and in the birth order, being one of the younger sibs is also a factor for him. If you are thinking of his size, it might be good to wait a year so that he'll have a "leg up" in the sports arena when he gets in the upper grade levels, and no matter what, that extra year of maturity makes a huge difference when it comes to the "all important" achievement testing and testing for the ACT and so on. Also, it gives you one more year with your sweet son that you can never get back.<g> My kids are 21 and 18 now, and I'm feeling that pretty keenly now that my son is going to be graduating this year. Hope this helps.
I wish I'd had someone to talk to about it when I was going through it. Incidentally, my bd is in July, and I was always one of the youngest in my class. It was hard in a lot of cases, because I was almost a full year younger than some of my classmates! no, I'd keep him home another year or put him in some kind of preschool program.
C.

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S.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I am curious what you did with your older two children...are you concerned about your son just turning 5 in June?? I am a Prek teacher at a MDO program, and I think that if you have doubts about him being ready for Kindergarten then that is your only answer. You would be suprised though at the children that go to kindergarten for the first year that haven't been to another program prior...with you having older children though I wouldn't think that you would have a problem with it...he will be fine mom!! :) Best of Luck!!

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N.M.

answers from St. Louis on

He's already 5 and he's ready for kindergarten. Deffinately send him. You need to let him grow. If you keep him home another year he faces being teased by other children if they found out how old he really is. Kids are cruel. This in the long run will affect his self asteem and cause a rough childhood. Its not really fair to your son. just because your not ready doesnt mean he isn't

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R.F.

answers from St. Joseph on

I am the Mother of 2 boys ages 19 and 14 the oldest b-day was in July and we sent him when he was 5 and have regretted it many times. He did ok in school and in sports but that extra year would have helped him in the maturity dept. We were told by his pre school teacher that he was ready for school and he was, but the extra year would have been better for him at about the high school level. In fact there were several kids older than him that were in the year behind him. Our youngest son's B-day is in June and we also sent him when he was 5, but he is a little more mature than his brother was at that age. In Nebraska the cut off is Oct 15 so both boys were 3 or 4 months before the cutoff.

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L.G.

answers from Topeka on

My son's birthday is August 1. We are waiting until he is 6 to start kindergarten. I was planning to send him at 5 as he was academically prepared. I didn't perform well on his screening and the kindergarten teachers were concerned he would struggle. I took their advice and waited. He is struggling in preschool this year as he is bored and getting into trouble. I think I would still wait looking back. I know the first time he might start to struggle with classword, the fact that I didn't wait would be pointed out every time.

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P.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My son turned 5 on June 25th, kindergarten started the week after the 4th of July (my kids school ran on cycle's all year round). I had another son in 1st grade and a 3 year old at home. I wasn't sure what to do and my son begged me to let him go to kindergarten; so I did. Now, looking back I wish I would have waited. He had a difficult time with school, in part because he wasn't as mature as the other kids which also showed it's self socially. He struggled a lot all through school. In my opinion, you should wait, 5 is a young age for a boy to start school. Besides it gives you one more year of having your little boy home with you, which is time that goes by so fast. Before you know it he'll be 18 (that's how old my son is now). Good 'luck!

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M.E.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi! I'm in the same boat. My little girl turns 5 at the end of May, and our deadline here is in July. She'll be one of the younger ones in her class now, and later when everyone starts dating and driving. I'm wrestling with sending her, or keeping her home a year. Some things I'm trying to consider are: Is my child bored at home/anxious to go to school? Is she shy, or enjoy social settings? I'm reading some "how to get your child ready for kindergarten" books. I also signed my daughter up for a Parents As Teachers age-appropriate screening to kind of show me where she's at relative to her age. Everyone I've asked said they're glad they kept them home a year, and regretted sending them too early. Good luck on your decision!!

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K.M.

answers from Springfield on

I will have the same issue only my son misses the cut off my 3 days to go when he is 5. My Son is Very Smart, and also very tall. I fear that if I hold him back til he is 6 that he will be bored and be way bigger then the other kids. So I have talked to my Parents as Teachers lady and here is what she said. I would be better to send them when he is older, this way he will be a leader not a follower. He will be more emotionally ready and if by chance he does get bored they will then look at his levels and move him up a grade if they think he is ready. We had him tested this year for preschool and the only thing they said that we needed to work on was skipping. He just refused to do that for them. Who know's why. Anyway I would say check with your Parents as Teachers program, they might have an idea of how big the classes are going to be in the next two years that might make a difference also. Either way I'm sure he will be fine.

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B.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I would love to hear what your debate is on sending him to school. I have a 4 year old son who will turn 5 on August 7th. I beleive he is 7 days away from the cut off date so therefore the system will not let him attend this upcoming year. I beleive he is more than ready to attend kindergarten.
The same thing happened to my 11 year old daughter, who's birthday is also in August. Through the years she has mentioned several times that she should be a grade ahead of what she is. I was happy to have her home another year due to selfish reasons. I had worked second shift at that time of my life.
Although our situations are somewhat different, I beleive each child is unique and as a mother you should feel whether or not they are ready. It's also extremely hard to let go, but like I said, I know my son is ready and unfortunately we must wait another year. My fear is that when he does start kindergarten, he may be bored.
I guess you must weigh out all the circumstances.
Good luck to you and I am sure you will make the best decision, to suit you, your family, and your son.

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R.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We had the same dilemma you are currently facing with our son when he was 5 years old. He also had a June birthday. He had attended preschool since he was age 2 and was academically ready to move to Kindergarten. However, we had him tested on 2 different occasions while he was in 4 year old preschool for kindergarten readiness. Both times the testers recommend we wait for maturity reasons. We talked to many parents and teachers about this. Those parents who waited to send their children NEVER regretted their decision. Many of the parents who sent their children forward did regret their decision and many ended up having their child repeat a year in school.

We opted to wait to send our son and although in the beginning the decision was hard because many of his church friends with summer birthdays went on, we are so happy that we waited. Many of our son's friends have had difficulty in school because of their lack of maturity. Our son has always excelled, is a model student, has never had behavioral issues and his teachers tell us he is a leader. To us that was the big advantage. He will be a leader in the class instead of a follower. He is in the 4th grade now. We have never regretted the decision we made.

Most teachers will encourage you to wait with your son because of his summer birthday. If your school has a Pre-K program that would be a good option. We sent our son to a private Pre-K program during that interim year and then enrolled him in public Kindergarten.

I believe if you wait you will never regret it.

The way we approached it with our son was that he was being "redshirted". We told him he wasn't required to go to Kindergarten when he turned 5 and that we were doing what was best for him. We have NEVER used the term "holding back". Sometimes he mentions to people that he is old enough to be in 5th grade but he waited to go to school. He never says he was held back. If you approach it in a positive way it will be a positive thing!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Wow, you've gotten alot of responses. I don't have a June birthday kid but I WAS one. I can tell you that it was perfect for me to go to Kindergarten when I was 5. I did very well in school. It really depends on where your son is developmentally. Does he know his alphabet? Is your Kindergarten half day? If so, I'd say he'd be fine. A large part of Kindergarten is getting used to a structured school environment and learing your alphabet, writing the alphabet and learning to write your name. I'd start practicing all of this at home if he's not in a preschool environment already.

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C.R.

answers from Lawton on

My son was born July 1st and we sent him and ended up putting him in T-1st. That is a transitional class for students that are not ready to move on just yet. He was totally bored in that class. It was not that he was not smart enough to move on but his attention span was not quite there yet. So if I were you I would wait. My son had an exellant Kindergarten teacher so I knew she was giving us good advise. This is a problem with boys more so than girls. My son tested an all over average of 89.9% on that test they give in grade school when they are in the 5th and 6th grade to see how well they are doing in all subjects...Sorry I cannot for the life of me think of what it is called....he even said he wished we had just waited to send him cause kids he was in Kindergarten with were a year ahead of him the rest of his school years! My son is now out of College with a degree in Business Administration and is currently working for Chesapeake Energy in OKC, OK. Yes I am a proud Mom!

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B.W.

answers from Springfield on

My son has a June birthday, and I waited the extra year to send him to school and never regretted it. He's a senior now, and 18, and most of his friends turned 18 shortly after he did. Your son will either be the youngest in his class or the oldest. It's your choice. Being older and bigger is good because they are more mature making decisions, and bigger for sports. Many schools now expect them to read in kindergarten, and I think 5 is a little young for that.

Best of luck to you and your little one.

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M.R.

answers from St. Joseph on

T.:

My son was a July baby and when he turned 5, I personally felt like he wasn't ready for kindergarted by that fall so I kept him in pre-school an extra year and sent him this school year after he turned 6 and WOW what a difference one year has made. He's alot more mature than some of his younger classmates and he makes better decisions and is a lot more responsible too. His teacher has made more than one comment on how she's thankful that we kept him a year behind.

Just a note too: My son has some classmates who were also in his preschool and they went on to kindergarten a year ahead of him and now they are all in the same class because they weren't ready to go on but their parents were ready to send them on.

Good Luck with your decision and remember even if you let him go when he's 6 he'll still graduate when he's 18 :)

M.

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L.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My dd's birthday is August 14th. She is the youngest in her class but she holds her own. My husbands birthday is 8-10 and he was always the youngest also. He never had a problem except being the last to drive etc. He was 17 when he graduated. If your child is in preschool, ask his teachers what they think and then use your best judgement.

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M.V.

answers from Kansas City on

That really depends on your son. Does he know some letters and numbers? Does he sit still long enough to complete an activity with you?
My son will turn 5 in late July, and we are definitely sending him. He already knows all upper and lower case letters and numbers to 20. He is reading books. He knows other things that aren't expected for his age as well. I will not hold him back from learning, even though I know very well that he immature.
We sent our son to preschool this year to help with social issues, such as sitting down and focusing for longer periods of time and following directions even when you already know what the class is learning.
If you think your child is ready, don't hold him back. The best way to find out for sure is to take him to your school's kindergarten screening in the spring. Most schools have these, and they screen for kindergarten readiness skills like those I mentioned above. Then you can make an informed decision based on him specifically.
Good luck!
M.

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K.H.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I've never heard anyone say later in life "I wish he would have started earlier" -- that extra year to mature is good for boys. I have 2 late summer birthday boys -- both started at 6 instead of 5. The older one was ready earlier but i'm glad we waited.

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A.S.

answers from Wichita on

My son turned 5 in August.. I held him back a year and do not regret it. I just felt like he needed a little more time to mature. I have had several friends whose sons turned 5 the summer before kindergarten and their children had to repeat that year. They just weren't ready. I am very happy with my decision and he thrives and does very well in school. Had I not kept him back I don't think he would have done as well.

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U.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My older daughter (now 10) seemed to be way ahead academically when she was in Pre-K, and we thought about letting her enter school a year earlier. But when discussing this with her wonderful teacher, she said to me "Why not let her play for another year? It can't hurt!" This turned out to be wise advice, since although she was always on top of her class academically, she needed the extra time to develop socially. She is shy and not very outgoing, she needed the time to build up her self-esteem. For us it was good to let her enter school not too early. In contrast, my sister-in-law decided to let her son enter school early (go into first grade after just having turned 6), and the poor little guy struggled from the start and in the end had to repeat 3rd grade. I think this damaged his self-esteem permanently. My advice would be to consider this carefully and talk to his teachers. Especially boys sometimes seem to need the extra time.

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A.V.

answers from Springfield on

My first son was a Sept. baby. He was too young to send at4/5 and got held back in 2nd grade. Unless you have notice some learning disability or slowness with him..i would think he'd be ready, especially with older siblings. A. V.

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C.V.

answers from Wichita on

I sent my daughter to school when she was 5 and I don't regret it at all. She's now 6 and one of the smartest kids in her class and advancing very well. I believe that if you hold your child back that they don't seem to be on the same level as all the other children when they do go to school.

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C.D.

answers from Springfield on

We had this same problem with our son last year. His birthday fell on the cutoff day (Aug 31). After much pushing from his preschool teacher we decided to start him right before his 5th birthday. Their reasoning was his size. He is a very tall young man, still taller than his peers in 1st grade now.

We've found it was the biggest mistake we've made yet. He isn't as mature as the other children and struggling with learning. Which now leaves us with the decision on whether to have him repeat 1st grade or move forward with his friends.

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L.W.

answers from Springfield on

My son turned 5 last June. I had the same feelings about him, but I sent him to school last fall and he is doing great. He loves it and is doing well.

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D.L.

answers from Topeka on

I'm a mom with a 18, 12 and 5 year old. We ran into the same problem with each of our children because all of their birthdays are the week before cut off for school age(believe it or not!). We choose to send our oldest and have regretted it ever since because she was the youngest for everything. Academically she was great but was the last to get to do everything from driving to dating and this caused her to battle with us and be a follower with her friends. The next one we held back and the school fought us over it because she was ready academically also. But we have never regretted it. She has excelled and is a leader. When the time came for our son, I researched it and spoke to many teachers. Every single one said to hold him back. Those boys that are a slight bit more mature are great students and typically the leaders. So we did and he is defitionly the leader of his pre-k class and a better student for his teachers this year.

Hope it helps,
D.

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L.G.

answers from Kansas City on

My son turned 5 in July and is now 11. We started him in preschool at 3 and kindergarten at 5. He was ready socially but not educationally. We have had to hold him back in 5th grade, we coincided it with a move out of state so that he wouldn't be embarrased by his freinds. We talked up the importance of him having the skills that he should and not just floating through each grade confused. He is doing well, much better his second time around in 5th grade. I have a friend who knew she wanted to get her son the social exposure but wanted to wait a year for him to start kindergarten. She talked to the principle and the teacher and they agreed that they would let him go to kindergarten knowing that he would repeat kindergarten a second year and then move up to 1st. That sounded like a great idea to me.
Good luck.

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A.T.

answers from Tulsa on

We had the same decision to make last year - my son's birthdday is July 27. I was a 6th grade teacher for 10 years, and it seemed like the younger boys in the class frequently had social and academic problems. So I had planned to keep my child back and let him be the oldest in the class rather than the youngest. Every child is different, however, and it turned out that Mason was ready for kindergarten when he turned 5. He is tall for his age and loves to learn. I hated to keep him home another whole year when he had already mastered many kindergarten skills. So we decided to go ahead and send him. He's doing really well, but I have to admit that I'm still a little nervous about the future. I just hope he doesn't fall behind at some point because he's just so much younger than everyone else. I decided that I would start homeschooling him if that happened. I would suggest that you check into the options your school provides for kids who start kindergarten and don't do well. Most schools have a developmental first grade that allows kids to "stay back" one more year without actually doing kindergarten again. If not, then repeating kindergarten is always an option. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I sent my oldest daughter who's birthday is in May to school when she was 5. She is one of the younger kids in her class, still (she's in 5th grade now) but she has done so well. She had taken pre-k classes though which I think really helped her to excel in kindergarten. I also sent my youngest daughter who's birthday is in January at the age of 5 and she has done well too. She also went to pre-k classes.

I think if he has had any type of pre-school to prepare him for kindergarten, it would probably be ok, however, my brother Kevin, who's birthday is in July, started when he was 5 and he ended up being held back in first grade because he simply wasn't ready and my mother didn't start my other brother Nick, who's birthday is also in July until he was 6 because of the fact that my brother Kevin wasn't ready at 5.

I think you should use your best judgment on this and look at the signs of readiness. Can he write his first name, can he identify letters and numbers, is he able sit for longer periods of time and pay attention, does he seem mature enough? These are all things to take into consideration before sending him to school. You can also have him tested for readiness. I had my youngest tested before she went into kindergarten, I believe it was through Head Start, you could contact them or you could contact your school district and find out where they do those tests and when. I hope this helps you in making your decision.

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L.F.

answers from St. Louis on

I am a former teacher. I taught 7th grade for 6 years until we had kids. I was often saddened to see kids who were younger in the class struggling, becoming the followers, and often immature. They always seemed to be "catching" up. I know this is a generalization, but more than often, it was true. Our daughter missed the cut off by 6 days. We were thankful that we didn't have to decide. She is now in 1st grade doing VERY well. She is confident and a leader in the class. Our second child's birthday fell in the middle of the year...no problem. But, our son's birthday is July 24th. Needless to say, we are definately holding him. When friends ask this question, I always say, "What positive impact will happen by sending him to school early?" The positive impacts of waiting are numerous...more confidence, will be one of the oldest, more mature...the list goes on. As you can see, this is an important topic to me. I hope this helps.

L.

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L.F.

answers from Springfield on

I am the mother of 4, ages 19, 23, 26 and 31. Our son had a late birth day in the end of August. He went to school soon after that. I became obvious that his maturity was not up to where it should be. I think this is more common with boys. His kindergarten teacher agreed that it would not do any good to hold him back in kindergarten. His grades were B's and he would be bored. In 1st grade we agreed with the teacher that this would be a good time to hold him back a year. He went through 1st grade again and made straight A's. Even though it was a young age, there were already kids teasing him that he was dumb and that is why he was held back. Of course, that was not the reason. We could have spared him some of that ridicule had we held him from starting kindergarten. Today he is a wonderful young man, has his master's degree and is just now negotiating his second job out of college for $75,ooo.oo/ year at the age of 26. Not bad!! Oh yes, he is married and they are expecting their first child! He is the greatest!

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M.W.

answers from Topeka on

I have 2 girls, both born in July. We sent one when she was 5. She did well academically, but struggled socially. She was fine once she was in 1st grade. We held the other one back. She was a little less mature and small for her age. We are really glad we held her back. I would look at all areas with your son, academics, social skills, motor skills, maturity level, etc. and make a decision based on that. I think it is a very individual decision.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi T.. We struggled with this too last year as our son just turned 5 in July. We had talked to MANY people and decided, it was best to hold him back. Our preschool director at the time said she has never had a parent regret holding their child back but has had parents regret starting too early. I think this will greatly benefit him when he starts kindergarten this fall. We are definitely glad we held him back. Hope this helps.

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L.J.

answers from Wichita on

When my oldest son started school, he was less than 4 months from turning 5. It was very very difficult for him. Of course there were other major issues happening in our lives that made just general living difficult. My son struggled so bad with school, everything was a challenge for him, from social to academic. He struggled all the way until the 4th grade, when we held him back a year. Prior to 4th grade he had an IEP that included just about every subject and still just barely passed classes. Once we held him back a year, his grades improved, his emotional state improved and he is now an A/B freshman. I really regret taking the step to start him early.

My youngest son just started kindergarten. He turned 6 just after the start of the year. He is doing so well, I am so very glad that I didn't start him a year earlier. He struggles some with social, but is quickly learning to interact better, these struggles are nothing like with my oldest, I think they are just him settling in to a new routine, which he always fights against.

My opinion is to wait, I've done it both ways and have to say that little extra time has given my youngest son what my oldest really needed. Every child is different, and requires different things, but given the chance again, my oldest son wouldn't have started school early. Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from St. Louis on

hi, T.. i too have a june baby. he is 15 now... brother to a 4 year old & 1 year old.. we have a lot in common :) anyway, although it seems to be the fashion now to start kindergarten at 6, i am certainly glad i didn't do it. my son was ready emotionally at 5 (that's the most important thing) and he matured fairly quickly.. had i held him back he would have been six feet tall in 8th grade which would have just been weird. i know this is a simple answer.. but i hope it gives you some food for thought. have a great day!!!

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C.P.

answers from Rockford on

hi
i just wanted to put my 2 cents worth in here, I have a child who just turned 5 august first, and i did send her to pre school since the age of 2 and daycare because i work. I debated on what to do but decided to go ahead and send her to kindergarden figuring she would be fine. now im in a situation where she became louder in school to be heard interrupting and the inability to sit still affects not only her learning but the learning of the other students. In fact she is so busy she lost focus on the educational part of school and has a hard time staying on task too many distractions. Now the school is reviewing my child for special education due to lack of maturity and focus, now im in a situation where i cant pull her out of school to mature another year because she is getting an IEP done and i feel that she is being labled at a very young age that will carry throught her educational experience. she does know her letters and numbers that was not the issue, i do wish i would have held her back gave her a chance to be a kid for one more year. good luck

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L.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi Tonia,

My son has a summer birthday also. Does your school district have a Kindergarten Round Up close to the first day of school? That will be your #1 indicator. We waited the extra year and I have not had one regret. He is soaring!!

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P.R.

answers from Wichita on

Five in June? Do you mean pre-school? We sent our son to the first grade when he was six in Nov. 27, which, for us, was a big mistake. He was not emotionally mature and paid for it---lost patches of his hair in the 3rd grade, vomiting==headaches, had to take the 3rd grade over as he "froze" at the black board, couldn't add 3 and 1.

But, later in life, when he was in his 30's, he decided to go to college and made straight A's---but it was at his choice to go to become a PA, and is very successful at age 56 years, but I would have given anything, to have followed my own heart, and NOT sent him to the first grade at such a tender age. Boys mature more slowly, anyway, but at least he has an understanding of emotional grief, but at what price! PR

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S.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello,
I have 5 children around the same ages as yours. My 3 oldest are boys 18 and 13 year old twins. All born in May, I sent [email protected]____.com 3 ended up repeating Kindergarten,I would send him if you and the teachers feel that he needs to repeat than you can.I found it better to repeat Kindergarten than a grade level grade. Now that they are older they give me trouble all the time about holding them back. Mostly because of the age, they are a year older than their class mates. I remind them how hard school is and if they were a grade level higher it would be that much harder. In the end you have to do what feels best. You know your son. Schools also have testing, have him tested and see where he is and talk to them about your concerns.

Good Luck!!!

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K.M.

answers from Bloomington on

Our now 10 year old son had turned 5 in July of the same year he started Kindergarten. He was receiving speech services and we purposely moved him to a 5 day a week strong education based preschool at 4 to help him with his speech. We had planned for him to start Kindergarten after his 5th birthday, never considering anything else, until one day when another mom with a son who seemed less ready to attend Kindergarten was talking about how she was going to hold him back a year. I had never even considered that until she mentioned it.

Our son did go on to Kindergarten and did great. When I looked back that year, I realized if he would have been anywhere else, he would have been bored crazy. After teaching Pre-K to some kids in this position (held back due to a late birthday), I was really glad we didn't hold back our son.

Does your son show a strong interest in going to Kindergarten? Does he know his ABC's and counting and other Kindergarten information? How is his maturity level when compared to other kids his own age? There is typically Kindergarten screening in the spring and the teachers that provide that service can help you decide, too.

We sent our son and we still feel it was a good move. He is one of the youngest in the class, and will always be. He does fine with that. He is a great student and we have never felt it interfered with his ability to cope or learn. To me, that is what you need to base your decision on. I am a June Birthday child - no problems for me, either.

Good luck on your decision. Prayerfully consider the best thing to do for your child. You and your husband will know!!

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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

As you have heard many time already, talk to his preschool teacher. I am a preschool teacher and this question has come up many times. We have a summerschool program for children going into kindergarten and I have suggested to many parents to try summerschool and see how they do. If they are still concerned, wait until next year. You can try this if your school district has any programs like this. Good luck and go with what you feel is the best choice for your and your son!

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Only you can tell whether your son is ready to attend school or not. And while you are deciding look inside and make sure you're not just wanting to hang on a little longer, I know I did as I came to the end of my bunch. I am a mother of 8. Letting the first one go was really hard. The ones in the middle was easy but the youngest boy, and then the twin girls was really hard on me to let go.
Ask yourself if HE is ready for the adjustment??? I have two that were born past the deadline so they had to go in when they were pushing 6, in all honesty they were ready to go when they were pushing 5. Each child is different and adjusts differently. Will he be better enriched if he goes and gets to be around other kids more as well??

Good luck to you.

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S.Y.

answers from Kansas City on

I think I would have a meeting with his preschool teacher to get her input. He may seem smart to you but can he write words, sit still & listen, follow directions & is he socially ready for the "big" school. Things are different now & it is really better to have an older child start out the long school years than a young one which I think June is maybe borderline to young.

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D.K.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I struggled with this decision too. In the end we waited a year because all the schools we talked to recommended it. Our son still went to program but he was the oldest in his class. I think it was the right choice for us. My sister was in the exact same situation with her daughter (our kids are two weeks apart) and she sent her as soon as she could and it has been hard. In my opionion she wasn't ready. Getting her school was a struggle in itself, she'd throw fits because she didn't want to go etc. Some of this may not be the age but other issues, but I still think she should have waited. So, I'd wait but I would put him in somekind of school setting. Even some of the MDO programs have somekind of preschool program.

Good Luck!

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M.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Would you rather your little one have an extra year of childhood, or an extra year of adulthood?

Personally, I will hold my July baby back another year. :)

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D.S.

answers from Peoria on

Hi T.,
My youngest son, now age 8, has a birthday in June as well. We sent him to preschool at the same age as his older brothers, the year prior to Kindergarten. After that year of preschool, my husband and I contimplated if he was ready to go to Kindergarten. My older two sons have late year birthdays and had to wait until they were almost 6 to start Kindergarten. That was what we were used to. My youngest was struggling with letter and number identification, he couldn't tie his shoes or write his first name (all are required for Kindergarten) and had no desire to learn any of these things. We decided to keep him home an extra year to let him grow up some more. By the time school came around the next fall, he was ready and wanted to learn. Another factor in this decision was that he is small for his age, by waiting a year, he is in a classroom with kids his own size. We have not had any problems with him being bored in school and he enjoys being there. We were very cautious about forcing him into an enviroment that put a huge amount of pressure on him to learn when he was not ready. Also, all the teachers that I talked to about this decision stated that boys generally do better by waiting. Girls seem to do great going to school at 5.

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

my sons b-day is oct. 22nd. so i didnt have the ability to choose. but in my opinion, the sooner kids get into school, the better. most kids like it to start with. it is only when they start getting the harder work that they dread it. schools now days always say kids are behind on learning. so its hard to start with. with studying algebra in 5th grade. i hope this helps a little bit.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

It all depends on the child I think and his readiness to learn an d comprehend. There are usually programs that will test for readiness....it has been so long but I know I did it with my kids I just can't think of the name and they were free also. If you call the school they should be able to tell you!

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N.S.

answers from Springfield on

T.,

You have so many responses I almost didn't respond, but I noticed only one of them highlighted what I wanted to add. I have three children, my youngest is now a Junior in high school. He turns 18 half way thru his Senior year, as did his older brother. But his sister has a summer birthday so we had the same decision to make that you are facing! All three of my children were mature and gifted for their ages. So we opted to start her early versus waiting another year. She excelled in school until high school when she got bored. And then she couldn't take drivers ed with her friends because she was too young, all her friends were getting their licenses-she couldn't for another year because she was a year younger then they were even though she was in the same grade! She couldn't date until she was 16, she complained because she was the only Junior in high school not allowed to date! As her high school years progressed we battled over the fact that I had made the decision to start her early. I argued that I thought she would be happy she was getting out of school at an earlier age--she argued that all her friends were doing things she couldn't because she was too young.

I don't know that this will apply to a male as boys don't seem to get as upset about not getting their license with their friends, etc. But for me those last two years of high school were a never ending battle and struggle trying to make her realize I thought I had made the right choice. If I could do it again....I would hold her back even though emotionally and academically she was more than ready, she wasn't ready when she "grew up" and that was when it mattered the most!

Thanks for listening, hope it helps and makes sense.

N.

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D.B.

answers from Decatur on

I personally think that it is a very good idea to send your child to school as soon as possible because they get to meet other children and learn how to share and interact. They also get a sense of independance from their parents and learn how to be responsible to a certain degree. I would not wait, my son went to preschool and that really helped him and helped me to get used to the idea of him actually going to school. It also helps to have them around some familar faces.

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S.S.

answers from St. Louis on

They offer free kindergarten testing at most schools. I know my sisters daughter will be 5 in June and she had her tested this week. They let her know (in about an hour) what she was advanced in, what she needed to work on and also they will recommend you holding back a year to start if needed. Call the school in your area that your son would be going to and see when they are testing or where you can go to get tested. It really helps take a load off trying to figure out if your child is ready or not! peace and blessings!

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J.W.

answers from Joplin on

I assume you mean kindergarten? (Of course today's kindergartens are like 1rst grade). Here are some "readiness" signs that are looked for in the Waldorf schools (where they usually keep the children in a play-oriented kindergarten until age 6):
ability to skip and put one foot in front of another on a line or balance beam
drawing complete figures, with hair, fingers, toes, etc.
drawing human figures that stand on the ground (don't hover above it)
dexterity with hands--can hold a pencil or crayon well
teeth have started to change
has begun to loose "baby fat"
can sit and listen to a story (not on TV--a live story)
plays well with others

Of course each child is different. When I was teaching in a school, we had a little boy in the kindergarten who had already turned 6, and was almost 7. He didn't display a lot of the above criteria, and we kept him in kindergarten for another year, where he was miserable because all his classmates had moved up to first grade. We decided to try him in first grade, and he blossomed. Another little boy I knew (also a summer birthday) went on to first grade when he was barely 6, and he ended up repeating that grade--he just wasn't ready. The second year he did quite well, and he seems very well adjusted now. Also, a lot can change between now and next fall--I would wait until this summer to make a definite decision. J. W.

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M.R.

answers from Springfield on

Do what works best for you I think you should have your child screened just to see what he knows already and they can let you know what is expected of them when they do go to school. Both of my kids started preschool at three and I have no regrets.God bless

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A.H.

answers from Lawton on

I have a son and a daughter. I started them both in school at the age of 5. I think it has helped them with social skills. I see nothing wrong with starting them at the age of 5. I know they still seem like babies but I think it was good for both of my kids.

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K.D.

answers from Tulsa on

I think it would be great to go ahead and start him in a kindergarten class. I started mine in preschool at I believe 4 and then to kindergarten then 1st. I think it helps them to learn some things at a bit slower pace then starting them right out in 1st. This way they can get in the groove of a class room and being around alot of kids and learning that there are play times and learning times and rest times.
I don't know where you are from but here in Ponca City, Okla they have Headstart for the 4 yr olds, then kindergarten or preschool.
My granddaughter went to Luthren preschool all the way up and now is in the 8th grade. She will attend the High school next year. Luthren is a great school if one can afford it the extra expense. But I think they have some others here in other churchs as well.....Like Catholic has a school and some others may do preschool and Kindergarten. Also in regular schools as well.
Both of my sons started with preschool and did very well.
Good luck with your decision.
KayD

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