When to Leave Child Home with Other Siblings?

Updated on April 15, 2009
K.M. asks from Utica, MI
14 answers

Hello moms you guys have been really great with stuff I have asked about in the last couple months. To let you all know that helped me with ? of breastfeeding. All the answers where awesome and have to be put on hold because I miscarried. But heres another dilema I am having. What age do you feel is ok to leave your child home to baby sit?

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

K. ~
When my son was younger I looked into this and I believe in Michigan kids need to be 12 yrs old to be left home alone. I would say, though, that it also depends on the child...sometimes they're not ready at 12.
D.

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A.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I think they might have to be a certain age age legally before you can leave them home...not sure what it is, though. Maybe 12 or 13? I would also look into sending the oldest to a babysitting class, usually offered through a local Recreation program.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

K.; i beleive by law a child cannot be left alone until the age of 13, so i would wait and see if the chid is responsible enough or not, some children when they babysit they are bullys, like my older brother was, so mom and dad left my older sister in charge, she bullied in a different way, so when i grew up and had kids and left my kids in charge of other kids, they were older and knew that they were not the boss, you are not their parent, you are not here to tellthem what to do, you are here, to make sure things go ok, we are still the parents, then i would assign each kids an assingment, like the oldest you are to tell me what they did when i get home, and the middle child you are to tell me what oldest and youngest did, and even the youngest, when i get home you are to tell me what the two older ones did, this way hopefully they all felt responsible, and no single person in charge they each were responsible for the other, yet the older did have more to do, according to age, this also helped them in not feeling like they all they do is watch kids and hate it, and we did not put alot of pressure on the oldest so that any thing happeded is his fault totally, so i would base it more upon responsibility and not age, have a good day and enjoy , maybe while you are gone for a bit, call and aak hows it going. maybe if gone a while, have another adult check in with a phone call or a short visit, D. s

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

It depends on how mature your eldest child is and the age of the other children too, and whether they get on well. I leave my 11 year old with my five year old for short periods - say 30 to 45 minutes - if I need to pick up my eldest. But my little one is extremely easy, doesn't get into trouble, and the two of them adore each other (I know, unusual, but I think it's the big gap). My eldest child is nearly 15 and I'm comfortable leaving him with the other two for the evening if I need a babysitter - even though him and 11-year-old brother do fight i just have to hope they work it out which is normally the case. As you have three younger children, and I don't know how old your oldest is, it's hard to advise. It is quite a responsibility to look after three younger siblings - but then again it depends on how young they are and how they behave. Good luck - Alison

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A.M.

answers from Saginaw on

K. there is no law when to leave a child home, I spoke with a social worker, and if they are MATURE and responsible, usually around the age of 11 or 12, then they can, my daughter took a babysitting course at the age of 11, alot of areas will offer this. So the woman below stated the law is 13, nope no law. Hope this helps.

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A.I.

answers from Lansing on

how old are your kids how long would they be left to baby sit and what time of day and the lad one is the oldes one or the one left in charge a boy or a girl

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

I'm pretty sure its against the law to leave kids under 12 alone, so you should check into that. My personal experience is some are ok alone before that, but if you need infant care, find someone older.

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K.K.

answers from Saginaw on

I think it depends on the child, and the situation.
For instance...when my son was little (like 3), his babysitter at times was only 12 years old...but she was extremely responsible, and it was only if i was out nearby, and reachable. Her mom was reachable by phone as well in case she had any questions.
My son started watching his sister, when she was 6 and he was 13, but again, only for errands, or if i was close.
If the child being watched isn't too small, and is able to communicate their needs clearly, then a younger child, who shows responsibility is able to handle it. i would say no younger than 11 or 12 though. And again, only if you are close by and can be reached. My daughter is 9, and I would only leave her alone if I were running a few miles down the road, like to grab milk or something.
My son is 16...I'll leave him alone for the day, or evening...but again...even though he's 16, only if i'm close. I had to take a day trip 3 hours away...was going to be gone like 10 hours...took him with me! So again...depends on the kids...

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K.V.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K., I think it depends on the child. I started leaving my now 15 yr old alone for short times at 12, but didn't have him start watching his siblings until the age of 13 (and then only so I could run the the corner gas station bread). At 14 he started babysitting while we went to a movie or something, for a few hours at a time.

I was babysitting full time for a family with 3 kids, 1 baby, one just potty trained when I was 14. But I knew that my son was not mature enough to handle a toddler who was being a pest.

You know if your child is old enough or not, just follow your heart.

As for the legal age stuff, I know that if you receive child support, there is an amount added into it that covers daycare until the child reaches the age of 12. That might be some of the confusion about whether or not there is a law. Apparently family court thinks that it is reasonable if not necessary to have a babysitter for anyone under the age of 12.

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

I left my oldest to sit when she was 12, and that was for limited times during the day, until she was comfortable doing it at night. My 11 year old will do it, and is responsible enough to do so, for very short times during the day. My youngest is 9, and he wants to stay home alone but we won't let him. It totally depends on the child and their personalilty. Check with the city you live in, they all have different ordinances regarding this, it is 12 years old where I live.

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi K., personally, it depends on the child. I believe the law is 12 or 13 years old. Check with your local law about the age for your county. L.

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A.N.

answers from Detroit on

there is no actual law in michigan determining age. i would say that you should go with your gut. it really depends on the level of the maturity of the child and if the other children listen to him/her. if they seem to respect the older child then i would leave them alone together. you can always try to leave them for small amounts of time at first, like even 15 min and gradually up the amounts. i dont think i would leave mine if the oldest was under 12 but thats me and who knows? my child may prove me wrong lol.

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J.M.

answers from Lansing on

I have three children and I think it depends on their personalities. My eldest is very mature and responsible, so she could watch the middle child that is 18 months younger at 11 easily. However when I threw in the adventurous third child that made it more difficult to do. If there were only two of them, she was fine, but not all three until recently as the youngest became more responsible. It also depends how close your "back up" people are. We live in the country and I made sure the closest neighbors were home, before leaving....just in case.

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D.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Hi, my children are now grown but when I faced that decision it was a tough one. My son is four years older than my daughter and the sitters we were getting were in HIS class so he was embarrassed. I decided to leave my son in "charge" for short periods and I thought it was going well. He was twelve or thirteen. I found out years later that he made my daughter's life miserable. She didn't tell me at the time because of his threats. He wasn't a bad kid he just liked the power WAY too much. So, a lot depends on age AND maturity, how well they all get along and if you think the younger ones will tell you tell you what is happening while you're out. Denise K.

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