When Do You Delete Acquaintences from Your cell/FB?

Updated on May 29, 2013
R.R. asks from Fayetteville, AR
17 answers

I find that I tend to mainly be the one reaching out to acquaintances on FB and via texts all the time. After about 2 unanswered texts/messages, I erase them in my FB and cell. I am never more than 5 feet away from my mobile and see that most people ar constantly in reach of theirs. So, why take 2 days to respond to texts or FB posts?

Do you do the same? Why/Why not?

CLARIFICATION: I am not talking about those who have valid 'busier' lives: new moms, tending older parents, in school, hard careers, etc. I am speaking of other empty nest women, like myself, who just don't respond in a timely manner.

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One Perfect One--THANK YOU! I was waiting to read if someone would be brave enough to go against the flow and actually read what I am saying.

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answers from Washington DC on

Just because you have an empty nest doesn't mean you aren't busy...
I don't delete anyone because when I do, I'll need their info.
I just go on with my life and don't sweat the small stuff.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

If I message someone that I see has posted and posted and posted but not messaged me back.....I message them again and mention that I was waiting to her from them. If they still don't get back to me I go and make them an acquaintance. I change my options all the time on who sees what post I am making.

For instance, I posted something about my grandson and I made it all friends. But later I posted something he did and made it for friends but not acquaintances.

I don't unfriend or delete someone over something like this. If they want to stay my friend or unfriend me then it doesn't effect me.

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Seattle on

A majority of my friends have "valid" (?) lives.

- Military
- Fire/Police/First responders
- Film makers
- Archeologists
- State Dept.
- Photographers on assignment
- Medically fragile kids
- Aging parents
- New babies
- Et cetera

Which means they're often months (much less days!) out of contact.
They'll be online regularly for periods, and then offline.

I don't feel that my friends have to justify their schedules to me.
I don't feel I have the right to decree / pass judgement on whether or not their reasons for not being online are "good enough".

If something is urgent... I call. Either by phone or actually call on someone person.

For a chatty / non-urgent thing like a letter?

I don't set a deadline for a response.
I don't judge my value to them based on speed of reply.
I'll hear from them as they've got time & inclination.

Which can be moments or months.

12 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

For some unknown reason, I've had texts appear days AFTER they have been sent.

Just FYI.........

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

I'm completely the opposite. After years of being on-call and having to keep my phone (and in the dark ages back in the 80s and early 90s---a pager---anyone remember those?) with me at all times, I stopped being tied to my phone when I "retired" from my career to be a full-time parent.

I don't constantly check my texts every few minutes. I know that if there is anything urgent, the school, my mom, MIL, or the kids will call me, and I'll respond.

There have been times when I take 2 or more days to respond if it's not urgent and just a social call/text and there are other things going on. I also don't get upset if takes some time for someone to respond to my texts. If I really need to talk to them, I pick up the phone!

I'd not presume to judge the validity of anyone else's 'busy' life; how can one person possibly know what's going on with someone else at any given moment? Just because someone is in the empty nest phase doesn't mean they don't have things going on!

The "two unanswered texts and you're out" rule seems a bit rigid. You might be cutting out some friends who have legitimate reasons for not responding in your preferred time frame. Some people just prefer to catch up with contacts on a certain day or on the weekend.

I wouldn't delete someone just because they didn't respond quickly. It would have to be some huge violation of trust or the decision that we had absolutely nothing in common for me to discard a friendship.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Bloomington on

2 days really isn't that long.

How do you know that there FB feed isn't pretty busy and you post didn't just get overlooked in the shuffle or maybe they got distracted before they could respond?

How do you know that they weren't driving, eating, using the bathroom etc. when you texted and then got distracted with something else and it slipped their mind.

I frequently have to remind myself that other people have things going on also and the world does not revolve around me :-) (or anyone else for that matter).

If you arecdeleting people because they "didn't respond in a timely manner" then these people obviously aren't very important to you anyway.

Sorry if this comes across as snarky as it really wasn't meant to and so I apologize. Your question just struck me as a little overly self involved.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Wow that's a pretty high standard you've set. Glad my friends are more lenient, as I am with them.

To answer your question...I don't. The only time I lose cell numbers is when my phone breaks and I'm unable to successfully transfer the numbers and have lost my back up. FB? I don't think I've unfriended anyone.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

How do you KNOW someone is sitting around just ignoring you? Sometimes I don't have my phone on me - normally I do, but sometimes I put it in my room and turn it off, so I'm not bothered. Just because I have 30 minutes of "nothing" to do, doesn't mean I want to reply to something on FB or a text. I mean sheesh! After two attempts you cut someone out of your life? Sounds to me like the empty nest thing has gotten to you a little and you don't have control over your friends, so you just want to get rid of them. Sad.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Well you seem to be talking about people that you say you KNOW are available and NOT busy. (Although I think we inderestimate other people's business--we're ALL busy!)
I think often O. sided friendships are a sure sign that you can let them go. (I mean if its consistent O. sided.)

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Wausau on

If I did that, I'd end up deleting half of my Facebook friends and acquaintances. Unless I have an urgent question that needs a reply by a deadline, I don't keep track of how long it takes someone to reply. With a casual message, I don't care if they reply that day or two weeks later.

I don't have a cell phone so I've never become accustomed to being within reach all the time. When I'm not at home, there is no way to contact me. I won't hear voice messages or respond to email/FB until I am home again. Could be days. Since I don't tell people when I am not at home, you might think I was simply ignoring you but that would not be the case.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

I don't have a cell phone so I can't imagine having to respond instantly to phone calls, emails or texts. It sounds like a lot of pressure, and confirms for me that I do not want a cell phone! To me the beauty of email and facebook is that unlike the telephone you can communicate with people at your own convenience.

I keep many casual acquaintances on facebook. Although I do not regularly communicate with them there are times when I find having them as part of my network useful. The only time I delete from facebook is if someone is mean or nasty to myself or someone I care about.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Another clarification I would ask, what kind of texts are you sending?
If they are just shout outs - "Happy mothers day!" or "Enjoying the sunshine today?" then maybe it didn't seem necessary to respond.

If it's a question that needs an answer, like "Want to meet for coffee on Saturday?" or "Can I borrow that book your told me about?" then I'd say an answer within a day or two is polite.

And it's true, everyone sometimes gets distracted before answering and loses things in the shuffle. At least, I do. You're on a call, a text comes in, you make a mental note to respond, and then another call and you're off...

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I don't do Facebook, but I'll delete a number from my cell if I just don't feel like I'm likely to see/want to reach out/do anything with that person. I have some friends who just don't return "hi, just checking in... how's it going?" messages, so that's not really a criteria for me. It's more "do they make time when it's important?".

I have a cell phone which is my secondary phone. I HATE talking on it, the reception is never great on a cell anyway, so I always give out my house/landline phone number to folks first. Only one friend leaves messages on my cell (everyone else uses my answering machine on the landline), and so it might take me a day or so to see them. That cell gets used more as a glorified clock; it's left in purses, backpacks, jacket pockets, etc. In our home, the landline or email are the best ways to get in touch with me. The cell is only for when I'm out.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on



You sound just like me! I am not sure if it's just "the way of the world" today, but people are just "selfish" in my opinion.

Proper FB and cell "ettiquite" would be to RESPOND when someone texts, or sends a FB message. I am finding that if the situation isn't "all about them", they aren't interested.

Then, you get that "URGENT" private message, or text one month later, asking "WHY DID YOU UNFRIEND ME?" "What's Wrong?"


I simply do not have time for "fake friends" or Family Members that do not consider me equally important. DELETE!

I have someone that STILL to this day considers me to be her "BEST FRIEND", but couldn't tell you what's going on in my life to this day. I have gotten married (she wasn't there), had a child (she didn't come to the shower) and gotten divorced (she has not called to see how I'm handling it), and she JUST sent me another FB request to add her again.

People like this are a waste of time and energy, so don't even bother!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I keep my phone on me and use it for everything. That doesn't mean that I am up for a non-emergent conversation at the caller's convenience. Two days is not long AT ALL for a response from someone outside your immediate circle. Also, you have NO IDEA what other people's days consist of, so you simply cannot accurately say that they are not too busy to return your call/text. This doesn't even take into account the fact that they might not keep their phones connected to their bodies at all times or that the call might come in while they're driving or talking and they might just forget to return. Some people do occasional detoxes from phones and other electronics. Some calls don't even go through. If it's not somebody in your inner circle, you have no way to determine that two days is sufficient time. Some people I really need to be up for, and sometimes I'm just not. You have people like that in your life, right? You like/love/enjoy them, but you have to be in a certain place mentally for it to work? You might be that person for someone else. Until you do talk with them, you won't know what's going on. When I'm fighting with my husband, it might take me more than a couple of days to get over it, and I wouldn't necessarily be calling you back and explaining that I was busy fightign with my husband and wasn't up to calling you.

I delete contact information when I know that it's someone I plan to never talk to again. Some of my relationships consist of daily contact. Some monthly, quarterly, biannually, yearly. If I call every day for month and never reach anyone, then that might be a sign. Otherwise, I just mvoe on to whatever is next in my life and come back around to them.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

No, I don't. Just because my cell is within inches of me doesn't mean that I can stop what I'm doing to respond to you. This is really a problem with our mobile/ instant gratification lifestyle. You have an expectation that someone will respond to you instantly b/c that's what you do, but that's just ridiculous. I'm probably not busier than you are, but unless it's a "quick" response, it may take me a day or two to sit down and write you back.

Just FYI... good "business practice" is to return a message (of any kind) within one work day. It's a courteous thing to do, even if it's just to respond by saying "I would love to talk with you about this, let's talk on Wednesday. I have a block from 10-11. Does that work for you?" In your personal life, you can cut folks some slack and assume that if it might take a working person a full day to respond to something "urgent", it might take someone two days (most of which is spent at work) to respond to something "non-urgent".

When do I delete contacts?
1. When I see a name and honestly can't remember why it's in my phone.
2. When I "clean sweep" my contacts every six months or so. If I haven't contacted/ been contacted by a person in six months, I probably don't need their info "at my fingertips".
3. When someone dies, just being honest.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I get frustrated when people don't respond also. But you never know what's going on in their lives. And my father in law who is 85 put it in perspective. He said his phone is for his convenience not mine lol. My husband also had this comment to add. E mail stands for electronic mail not emergency mail. If you need an answer pick up the phone and call. Does your electric company shut off your electric if you leave the book sitting unopened on the counter? Just some thoughts lol

1 mom found this helpful
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