When Do I Tell 4 y.o. That She Will Have Shots on Monday?

I would tell her about two minutes before she is going to get them. No sense in building up her anxiety.

While you are sitting in the drs office and he is preparing the needle. Dont tell her in advance and let it build and build and get bigger and cause anxiety.

I did not tell my 3 year old until just before he was getting the shot, otherwise the entire appt. would have been so stressful for him. It's such a quick thing, it doesn't make sense to try and prepare him well in advance. At the time, I told him it was going to be a quick pinch and then he'd get a lollipop...he cried for about a milli-second and was then happy to get his band aide and lollipop.

I would not tell her you were even going to the doctors! HA! Tell her about the shots at the very last minute.
L.

Tell her you are not sure. Then let the doc or nurse tell her. Why make her worry or not want to go in from the waiting room. I had to carry my 5 year old in for his appointment once because he knew he was going to get shots. Talk about stress for both of us.

J.

I wouldn't tell her that she needs a shot until the very last second. Why let her be upset for 2 days or even 20 minutes when she can be upset for about a minute?

Just tell her it's a check up and that she isn't due for a shot. Then say - oops, you made a mistake when the nurse comes to give her the shot.

Tell her right before you go. I would tell her that she may need some shots,
but that you are not sure. Not really lying but warning that it may happen.
If you do not want to tell her that just tell her right before you go. Of course,
like we all do, a treat afterwards usually works wonders. Good luck.

I told my daughter way in advance that she had her check-up....told her the doctor would need to weigh her, listen to her heart and lungs, look in her ears and mouth etc. She asked about a needle and I said "maybe...we'll have to check w/ the doctor" and then I elaborated that if so it would be to keep her from getting sick. She said "ok". We had no problems. But, you know your child like I know mine.

If I were to tell my daughter now that she will need shots in a week, I will have a week of panic attacks. She is 14.

So I tell her the day of the appt or the day before. I say I have no idea if you will need shots, even if I know she will.
Mine has actually fainted at her sister's appt and she wasn't the one getting shots.
She had a meltdown going in for an EEG. She had a meltdown going for allergy testing.

Just feign ignorance. Tell her that it's up to the doctor and the doctor will let you know when you're at the appointment. There's no reason to get her worked up prior to...and it keeps you from being the bad guy.

I'm a medic in the Army. I don't mind being the bad guy if needed...especially if it makes things easier for a child and the child's parents. Blame it on me...it's okay.

I would not say anything until you get to the doctors office. If she asks be honest but don't bring it up if you don't have to. Once you are ready for the shots tell her what will happen and be calm about it. Reassure her that it will be done quickly and then you'll be able to go to lunch...ice cream..shopping...playground etc..

On the way there in the car. Explain to her that this is part of being healthy and that you want her to be healthy.

Here's what I told my kids when they were little. It's true, but told in a very childlike manner that my kids understood.

"You need the shots because the shots help your body create tiny soldiers that run around in your body and fight disease. They soldiers stay in your body for a long time killing the bad germs that can make you sick. Getting sick can be more painful than the shot. So you don't need shots very often, but every child does need them when it's time to add more soldiers."

My kids (after the appt) would proudly point to their band aid with the preschool teacher, to the cashier at the grocery store, to our neighbors...everyone and tell them that's "where the soldiers went into my body!"

Other suggestion: can you get a play medical kit and practice "shots" on each other. That may help too.

My kids always ask if they're getting shots when they have a check up... if they are, I tell them they are, and then they practice their 'brave and strong' faces... super cute and funny :) I always let them mentally prepare themselves and tell that that having a meltdown over it is not going to prevent it from happening, but it will result in punishment. Let her know when you're on your way to the doc, and tell her to practice her brave and strong face!

I tell my kids a week a more in advance that they are gonig to see Dr. X. That this is an exciting time for him to see how much they have grown. He is going to listen to their heart and check to see how smart they have gotten over the past year. I really focus on the positive aspects of the visit.
If they ask about shots I tell them the truth - hmm I am not sure. Becuase I seriously do not keep up with what is needed/expected - I rely (for better or worse) on the professionals to do that - LOL.
While it may not be a popular resonse, my advice is to nip this anxiety over visiting the doctor in the bud now. I know each child is different, but I am of the mind if you cater to or foster that fear level - it will continue to grow. I also think of how betrayed I would feel if my caregiver/mom/person who loved me put me in the car and then said - "we are going to the doctors now." Id hear, "I am taking you to the sacrriest place in your little mind - Suprise!."
Tell her a few days before. set aside time to talk about it - maybe before bed or whenever and answer honestly, but this is when a little white lie of "I'm not sure." is absolutely OK!
being anxious and fearful is not a bad thing - it offers an opportunity for you to discuss with daughter her feelings and why she feels this way. I guess all my rambling - I feel this is a great time to teach and 4 yo is not too young to do so.
Regardless of what you do, you will do the right thing - you are the momma! :)

Wait until you are on your way to the appointmen and when she asks, be honest. She'll probably cry and get upset, but honesty is really the best way to go here.

There is absolutely no reason to tell her today. The appointment is in a week. Tell her when you pick her up from school that you are going to the doctor and not a minute sooner. After the shot, a little treat (snack sized Frosty works in our house) and it's over.

Don't mention it until right before she goes in to have the shots. its not worth the anxiety and fear and lost sleep over it. GL

I agree that you should wait until the day of the appointment to tell her. I always tell my son when he will get a poke or a shot the day of, but like you, not sooner. If I told him a few days before he would stress about it until the day of. Why give them that stress? I do tell him before we go so that he can prepare. He has to have his thyroid levels checked every 2 months, so oddly he's more okay w/a blood draw than a shot. I also try to do something special for him when he gets a poke. Even if it's just that afterwards I happen to have a dollar store toy in my purse or something. I guess it's become our tradition...something special for being so brave. :-)

With one of our kids we NEVER mentioned it before hand. That way if they did it then it was the docs idea and it was just over before they had time to get all worked up. On the other child it was no big thing. It's the anticipatory anxiety that can wear one out.

My children do much better when they know what is going on in advance. I told my son at his last appointment that he needed to get 2 shots. I told him that it would hurt for a minute, but then it would go away. I told him that the doctor gives him the shots to make sure he doesn't get super sick later. Then I reassured him that I would never let anything happen to him that was not for the best. Hopefully that is a promise I can keep forever! I also told him it was ok to cry and that I would be there to do whatever he wanted me to do. He ended up not wanting me to hold him or anything. He waited until we got to the car to cry (just a little bit). I am glad I told him and gave him the time to prepare in his own manner.

Only you know what is best for your child. If you think it would cause her unnecessary worrying, I won't tell her. I know my son (as I am) does not enjoy surprises. I never want to be in a situation where he starts to not trust me because I sprung something on him.

Tell her right before the shot or she WILL be stressed and dwell on it. Trust me :) That's NOT lying to her.

I would do what you're planning on doing & not say a word about it until the morning of the appointment. When (if?) she asks if there will be shots I'd tell her yes, but only 2 & they really won't be bad. Come up with some sort of reward if she's able to get through it without throwing a fit. I always used to take my kids to Sonic for an icee if they did well.

definitely wait until the day of!

Hi J.,

I have to go through this with my children as well. With my two year old I didn't tell him a thing and it was like a pinch them he was all better and got a nice sticker. For my 3 and 6 year old I would explain it to them since they can comprehend a bit more. I would suggest waiting until the appointment and after the physical and just explain that you need a vaccine to help you stay healthy. With my oldest she gets icecream or whatever treat she likes. You don't want to lie to her because she needs to trust you even if it's something she will not like. When I have hid things from my oldest she said "Mommy, tricks me" lol. Hope that helps :)

Don't lie to her!! I would tell her the day of. Explain what she should expect, and tell her that she will get a bravery badge afterwards. Let her know that it is perfectly ok to feel scared, and ask her if she wants to see the needle or not. I for one can't handle seeing the needle, I get weak and dizzy, but my husband insists that it hurts him worse if he can't see the needle. My son likes to practice giving and receiving shots using a push point pencil. Sounds weird, I know, but it gives just a little "pinch", and if you hold down the eraser, the "needle" will go back into the "syringe". If you have an opportunity to bring up her sisters shots, that might be a good time to discuss what to expect without worrying her. Good Luck!!

We didn't tell my 5 year old until right before the shot when we gave her the ibuprofen. She was not happy, but when we asked her later if she would have rather known previously, she said no, she was glad it was a surprise. We did give her a reward afterwards. Good luck!

I would wait till Monday. Maybe she can get a treat for being brave like lunch out. Maybe right before the shot goes in her, tell her to breathe in and hold it and then they stick her and she breathes out. They always go so fast when I take my son. I don't know where they give the shot for her usually, but I have found thats its less painful for my son if he gets it in his leg.

I am not sure how your daughter is but we tell our kids the day they are getting shots and tell them it will hurt a little bit but that we know they are brave. We don't have any problems with them being anxious. I would tell her the day of her appointment.

I would not tell her about the appointment not even the morning of the appointment. Just get in the car and go. If she asks tell her where you're going, tell her. If she asks about shots say she may need a couple. Be matter of fact and calm. If she gets upset, tell her you will be right there with her and they will help her to stay well and not get sick. Try to redirect the conversation, if possible. Just do the best you can and be as honest as possible. Good luck, it may turn out better than you expect. My son had to have 5 at his 4 year old checkup so count your blessings!

Tell her when you get there and you are waiting for the doctor. Or if she asks you ahead of time. No surprises. Explain that this is so she does not get sick and will only pinch. You want her to trust you and also not hate the doctor's office. Tell her if she is really good, you'll take her to get some ice cream or something when it's over. Give her some tylenol before the appointment too...it helps some with the pain. Good luck! I've been there and still going through it with my 6 and 4 year olds.