My parents, who live in a different state (12+ hour drive away) inquired as to when my little ones can start coming to see grandma and grandpa over the summer for a week or two! My kids are 3.5 and 2 years old (and one on the way...but they weren't talking about that one --- yet!). My dad has off Mondays and weekends, mom has off Tuesdays/Thursdays/Fridays (works doubles at a hosital Mon/Wed and every other weekend) and my newly married 29 year old sister offered to take Wednesdays...all without consulting ME or MY HUSBAND! Um yeah -- DH said "aint no way". Our DD (3.5 yo) has severe peanut allergies, fish (which my dad is also allergic to), egg and milk allergies. My family is VERY good (unlike DH's family) at always asking, checking labels, and providing the alternative stuff she needs when we visit. But really- let my two little "babies" trek half-way across the US for a week or TWO! Do people really do that? Any insights as to when you did or would do that, at what age, pros/cons from people that have done it! I know they miss them but seems a little extreme. We usually see them one way or another about 4 times a year for long weekends or a week here or there (less when I am prego now).
Thanks mamas!
Update: My parents are fairly young (early 50s), keep long work hours, and sleep very little -- I do not think it would be too tiring for them. My kiddos sleep 12 hours each at night at home and generally sleep OK at grandmas/grandpas. My new baby is due in May. My husband and I just don’t want to spend that much time away from our kids (we both work 10 hour days during the week so evenings and weekends are our fun time with the kids). My MIL (who just turned 70) who lives 7 miles away has watched the kids AT OUR HOUSE (along with an au pair being present) while my husband and I took a weeklong vacation a year ago. We missed the kids terribly. But again, that was OUR HOUSE….not grandmas and not in another state.
Yep, people really do that. I was away for a week or two at a time and loved every minute of it! I let my kids go for the weekend before they were a year old. My relationship was golden w/ my grandparents and I wanted the same for my kids. But, you have to do what you are comfortable with... You could limit it to a long weekend at first then as they get older, the stay could be lengthened.
i have been sending my 8 year to my parents seen He was 2 they live about 8 hrs away for 2 weeks over the summer and now i have a 2 year old that will be going this summer as well. its good for the kids have some grandparents time with out parents.
I wouldn't but then again, my daughter (age 4) has never spent the night away from both me and my hubby at all (each of us have had to go out of town for different things but the other one was always home with her).
If you are ok w/ a day or two what about planning a family get away this summer and spend part of it close by but alone w/ your husband. Give them a little taste time alone w/ the little ones but also know you are close by if needed.
If they called me today, I would have had the kids there YESTERDAY. I need a break ;) Do your parents want my kids?
Can you do a trial run? Go there WITH the kids for a weekend and see how it goes? Chances are, if they live far away, your kids don't know them well and may be a little scared, since they're technically strangers. I would take baby steps with this one, no matter what the ages are of the children.
3.5 and 2 is old enough. I promise. Unless you do not trust your parents, why are you denying your family and your children this time to bond? I spent weeks with my grandparents growing up starting when I was three and have always been close to my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, who otherwise I wouldn't have known, given that we lived 10 hours apart. My kids (3.5 and 18 months) have spent multiple nights at my parents (3 hours away) due to my husband's and my overlapping travel schedule. Regardless of our work commitments, they will spend as much time as my parents will allow whenever my parents request. Why? not because I NEED the break (though it is nice), but because raising children in a multi-generational family is important. It keeps my parents active, it keeps my kids connected emotionally to someone besides my husband and me and it provides an opportunity for growth that they (the boys) would not otherwise have. Your parents and your sister will teach your children so much that you cannot because they have a different perspective on the world than you. I assume that you are trying to raise well-rounded children. If so, let your family help you, even if the logistics of it are difficult. work through it.
I would suggest starting with "shorter" overnights and work your way up. I remember being 4 or 5 and staying with my grandparents for long weekends while my parents were visiting friends. We woulf fly from FL to NY as a family and spend the first night all together. After that, my parents would go visit friends for a couple of nights while we stayed with my grandparents.
As we got older (8 or 9), we would stay for the whole week and flew on our own to do so. It was an amazing experience to have that time alone with my grandparents. They were interesting and fun and took us to all kind of cool shows and exhibits. They always respected my parents "rules" and we called my parents every night to check-in.
See if you can embed a long weekend the next time you go visit. Keep in mind too that it sounds like a great idea until your parents (who haven't had "full time kiddos" in a long time) see how tiring it can be. Start small with them too and see how much they can realitstically handle. They may find that 2 or 3 days with young ones is enough... you get a little "alone time" and they get "alone time" too!
Well my hubby is in the Army, so we have lived far away from both our parents since before we had kids! My older daughter was only 2 when I let her go stay with her grandparents in CA for 2 weeks! It was MUCH harder on me than it was on her! The year before last, when my younger one was 3, was the first time they both stayed at their grandparents' house alone. She took it a little harder, but she did pretty good considering it was her first time. Also, much harder on ME than her!
I love that my parents and my husband's parents (they live 30 min. from each other) can have those precious times with their grandkids, especially since we live so far away and only see each other once or twice a year.
We did that all of the time. My husband says he looked forward to those times, cause his grandparents had a ton of free time, so he was not stuck home with hims mom who was always cleaning and yelling at them!
Our daughter spent tons of times with her grandparents.. She enjoyed going places with them and being spoiled for a while..
Remember they raised you so they are capable of caring for your children..
My kids have spent a lot of time with my in-laws who live 2 hours away. When we had my oldest dd's (now 13) first birthday party, she went home with the in-laws after the party was over. The next day DH and I left for London for 10 days.
I believe my youngest dd (now 7) was also one when we left her with my in-laws while we took oldest dd to Niagra Falls and Toronto for a week.
I don't get why you are upset that they worked out care coverage for the possible trip for your kids without consulting you. I'm sure they wanted to have it worked out so that when you asked who was going to watch them on Wednesday when both your parents worked that they could show you that they thought it through and found coverage.
I've been watching my grandkids since there were just a few weeks old and it's been wonderful. Given their parents a break and gives me some time doing the things they love to do. All 3 of them have food allergies so their mom made it easy on me by providing me with a list of things they normally eat. Kept me from having to read labels (which I did anyways) and worry about their diet.
As others have suggested try a long weekend. Taking care of young children is exhausting and since they aren't around all the time your parents might find it overwhelming .... or not.
I think a week or two with grandparents would be great--when they're a little older. I think 2 & 3 is a little young.
Wow, I too am shocked at how many people would send their kiddos away for so long and especially with the distance. We also live about 10 hours from grandparents and there is NO way I would send my kids that far away for so long, regardless of how well I thought the grandparents would do, with the kids being so young.
I think I would consider it when they child is around 5. Little kids have no sense of time and I think they would think it was a very LONG time to not have mom and dad with them. I also know how stressful it is to stay at other people's homes when we go back to visit and I think that it would be even more stressful for littles to be out of their routine (no matter how well grandparents tried to keep a routine) and to not be in their own surroundings. It is one thing to visit relatives with mom and dad, but to not be left there for a week or TWO.
Regardless of what others say to do or not do, it really comes down to how YOU and DH feel about it.
I see that all your answers are mostly yes send them. I have a differing opinion. To me this would be a big fat no regardless of the grandparents ages or how old the kids are. This is something we never did when I was growing up. If we visited my grandparents who were both several hours away (one 5 hours, and one over 12 hours) we all went together as a family. We never stayed with them without our parents. I am actually suprised at how much people leave their kids with grandparents. My sister would constantly dump her kids on my mom and while my mom would take care of them it caused a lot of striffe between my sister and my mom. My own inlaws are quite young and very active but my husband and I would never leave our kids with them other than to babysit while the kids are sleeping at night. Every vacation is as a family together not apart. If this is something you are not comfortable with than just say no.
I think if you trust your parents and are confident that they will be responsible, reliable care givers, then it is fine. I would have loved for my parents to want to do that when my kids were little, but they didn't. I yearned for a break that was never possible. But, you obviously aren't comfortable with it so don't do it. But, yes, it is normal. I am always envious of my friends who have parents that do this for them so they can have a break.
Send em to grandma's and enjoy a little peace and quiet!
My husband and I have taken a 3 vacations in the past 3 years and each time our sons, 4 and 2, split their time between my mom and his parents while we were away. The first time was just my son obviously my little one wasn't born yet, and the second 2 vacations were both of them. Both of our parents live within 10 miles of our house, but the kids absolutely love it and the grandparents get to spend quality time without us monitoring every little move. It's good for everyone, so I say take the risk and I think you will be happy with the results
Do it and do not feel guilty for taking the time to spend alone with the hubby. You both work hard and deserve it. Of course you will miss the little ones but they will be back!!. Life is short, enjoy your quiet moments.
And I sent my child away to spend 5day in Disney with her Grandmother when she was 4yrs old. I missed her but I got to catch up on all my much needed rest while she was away. Priceless
I work with someone who has sent their kids off to the grandparents in PA (about 8 hours away) for the entire summer since the kids were born. The grandparents love it, the kids love it, the parents have come to appreciate the quiet time. So I've never been in that position, and never will be (no one's offering to take my kids for a week or two!) I think it can work out great. After all, there are no promises about the future, as you know.
How are they going to get there? No child that age should fly unaccompanied.
I let my 10 year old accompany her 4 1/2 year old sister to my parents for a month long visit by air.
All went well.
My parents kept my son for a weekend when he was 4 months old because my husband's best friend was getting married a state away. Then my sister kept both of my kids for the weekend when they were 3 & 4 years old. They didn't stay with anyone again until 2 summers ago (8 & 9 years old) when my parents & sister both took them to Disney for a week. That was kind of hard, but only for a day or 2 & partly because I was jealous they were in Disney & I wasn't! ;)
I'm surprised at how many answers are yes. I have a son with severe food allergies and I have yet to send him to grandparents and he's 10. It's a hard thing to manage for those that aren't used to it. And then to be so far away if something goes wrong. We have gone away and left them w my MIL to watch at my house, but there's nothing in my house that'll make him sick.
I especially wouldn't do it if your husband says no way. Especially at this young an age. If you talk him into it and something happens then you would have to deal with the guilt. If anything plan a family visit an maybe in that time period you and your hubby can do a 1-3 night stay at a nearby hotel/resort.
My in-laws having been asking this question since my first child was born and they live in England. They want my kids to spend the summer there and me and my husband husband go on and off when we can. NO WAY! My view is that they're my kids first...not their grand kids.
Although we have left them for a week at a time in our home occasionally when my husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary or went to a business conference, etc.
So maybe in the future when they get a little older, you can take advantage and leave them for a few days so you and your husband can have time together away.
Some of my happiest childhood memories are Summers with my Grandparents :) My sister and I spent a week most summers from the time we were 4 and 6 with our grandparents. Our grandparents insisted, and my parents gave in pretty quickly...probably because my mom and all of her siblings also have happy childhood memories of 'grandparents week'.
My children have not gone to my parents house for any amount of time, but that is only because my parents live overseas, and their paternal grandparents all work full time and wouldn't be able to arrange it. BUT my kids do go on short trips alone with my parents (individually and as a group) when they are stateside. I hope I am lucky enough to continue the tradition with my own grandchildren
EDITED TO ADD: we weren't allowed to go until I was 4, because my mom remembered from when she was young that the 'little kids' wore grandparents out :)
