When Did You Allow Your Child Computer Access?

Updated on January 21, 2010
M.W. asks from Seattle, WA
20 answers

Hi there,

My daughter (just turned 3) received a video game (Wall-E) from a well-meaning relative who is very "plugged in". She's played a few games on my phone before, but has never sat in front of a computer to play a game. In fact, I think the only thing she's done at a computer is look at pictures and chat via skype with the grandparents (all of whom are in faraway states).

What age did you let your little ones start exploring the computer or play video games? I'm not anti video games. I have some nephews who are older by a couple years who are pretty much "experts" at navigating the computer enough to get their games started. We've had the video game for quite a while now, our daughter knows it's a computer game (she watched some kids playing it at the apple store and that's why the relative purchased it), but has never asked to play it. I kind of like that, but also wondered when would be a reasonable time to let her experience playing a game on the computer? She's extremely adept at the few toddler-themed games I've let her play on my phone. I have no intention of pushing her to play the game, and frankly it looks a little advanced for her-- but one day I'm sure she'll ask.

My husband and I both work with adolescents in our respective fields, so we understand the concept of setting time/exposure limits. I don't need any advice about that. Just curious when other mamas showed their kids the computer. I asked her pediatrician at her 3 year appointment and she pretty much said the AAP doesn't recommend it for long periods of time, but she's seen some of her families make it a useful entertainment outlet. She also said that the reality is by the time she hits Kindergarten/1st grade most kids her age will be pretty versed in basic computer use. In other words, she didn't discourage it, but didn't exactly tell me to plug my kid in either.

Thanks mamas!

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So What Happened?

Thanks Mamas!
To those who would be concerned that I would use the computer as a substitute instead of actually playing with my child-- please don't worry! She's extremely physical, social, and well-rounded. I honestly don't think a half-hour or so playing a game is going to damage her ;o) She also takes yoga and gymnastics classes and some people don't see the point of a 3 year old doing those either...
That said, I think I got enough good advice to say that it would be fine to let her try a couple of those sites mentioned. I checked out starfall and was very pleased with it. She will definitely have fun with those sites. Thank you so much to the poster who said the Wall-E game was frustrating to a 7 year old! We'll just put that one the shelf for now ;o)
I do believe that teaching your kids the ABCs is essential to their preschool experiences, and I also believe that we are at the advent of a revolution in technology that will give an edge to kids with proficiencies in that area. I've seen huge shifts already in my 10+ years as a teacher. We can't deny that it's a part of our society and that even children will use it, heck--we're all plugged into this site, right?
Thanks again mamas!

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R.M.

answers from Medford on

I have been working with my Granddaughter on learning the mouse for a year. She is 4 now. She is now using Starfall.com site for ABCs and has just mastered the mouse and the site and is very proud. It is really helping her with phonics and they also have games like mazes and others. I can just sit and look at her and see the proud independent look. We also read and she has dance and Kung Fu every week. Her friend had learned the mouse and using the site PBS kids before her and it is something she was happy to be able to show that she is now able to do. Very fun

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H.B.

answers from Portland on

My first daugher who is now 5 has been playing PBSKids.org since she was 3. I set the parental controls on my computer so she cannot inadvertantly hit a button that takes her somewhere else.

We also set limits and monitor . . I usually play with her. She loves it and is very computer literate already.

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L.G.

answers from Anchorage on

I am probably on the opposite end of this. But I allow my 8 YO to email family and visit select websites, with games on them, on the computer occasionally. And my 7 YO doesn't have any interest. My 4YO, NO WAY! I am one of those Mom's who send them outside to play, and we live in Alaska! I also severely limit video games, we only have a Wii and they are only allowed to play games where they are standing, and getting some exercise. It seems every time my 4 YO is near the computer, I spend an eternity fixing whatever he did to it, so unless I am going to sit and monitor them non stop, it is too much of a pain. I know my older two do use them at school, but they don't really care to use it at home. I think this is a very personal decision that should include you and your husband. We both grew up without video games, or computers, and we are both very capable of using them now, so there is no harm in waiting, if that is what you decide.

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Z.A.

answers from Seattle on

When kiddo was about 2.5 he started using starfall.com for around 30 minutes to an hour a day. Utterly fantastic at the time (my only "break" during the day), although in retrospect, it was possibly a mistake because he was reading fluently by 3.

We've been using the computer for educational stuff now for years... although it was only starfall for the 1st year, here are some of our other favorites

Websites:

www.starfall.com
www.pbskids.org
http://earth.google.com/
http://kids.discovery.com/
http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/
http://pbskids.org/cyberchase/

CDR games
- Cluefinders
- Carmen San Diego
- Caesar iii / Caesar iv
- rosetta stone

Also most top notch museums (British Museum, Smithsonian, Met, Louvre, etc.) Have virtual tours. As do many archeological sites. :) :) :)

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

We are a very plugged in family, however we restrict TV time for our toddler and I have no intention of letting her play computer games, probably until she is school age.
We (her included) use the computer regularly to skype with the grandparents and occasionally she will be allowed to watch a short video, or clips of herself, or we look at pictures on it together.

Fact is, even if you wait a few more years, once you feel comfortable letting her use the computer for games, she will probably pick it up quite fast - I don't think waiting will put her at a disadvantage.

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S.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,

We let our son start using the computer under supervision (he nearly deleted a bunch of files once when my husband wasn't paying attention, LOL.) at 2 years old. He is four now and is really pretty good at navigating his way around without much help. I still try to supervise him as much as possible. But I have to admit it sure is nice to have an hour sometimes that he can play by himself and not need me to do anything.

Good Luck with making your decision,
S.

P.S. We did take the precaution of setting him up his own account with limited applications and access just to be safe. We use Linux and Mac so we can do that. But I am not sure if that is possible on a Windows computer.

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,
I think my daughter was 2 when we started playing on the computer with her. We found a couple fun and educational websites and got a preschool learning software. Alyssa is 3 now, and she will play those games by herself. We have rules: she can't touch the computer until her game is on, we turn it on for her, she doesn't sit and play for a long period of time, etc. But it is very educational for her, and sometimes a good distraction when I need to tend to my younger son. I was amazed at her hand / eye coordination when she started using the mouse. I was also amazed that just by watching what we did when we were playing with her, she knew how to use the websites. But, I say go with your own comfort level :-)

~J.

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M.T.

answers from Honolulu on

My little girl is 3 (birthday in Aug). She has been on my computer since she was 2. We play games and art on nickjr.com, and several different sites plus I bought some disc that have counting and coloring and matching that she plays. She has learned so much on the computer that she can work it better than I can just about.

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P.H.

answers from Portland on

Our older son (now 12) was about 2 when he started. Elmo was very popular so we got a Sesame Street toddler game. Around age 3 we added Blues Clues and Reader Rabbit. He is much like my husband in the computer/technical area and designed his first web page at age 9. Our younger son (now 8) held no interest in playing on the computer (other than banging the keys) until he was about 4 or 5. He used Reader Rabbit and Dora the Explorer. www.nickjr.com has character games. I sat at the computer with both kids until I felt they were comfortable 'navigating' on their own.

I looked at reviews for the Wall-E game and it sounds like kids younger than about 7 got frustrated with it. Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Huntsville on

My daughter will be 4 next month. She's had her own computer for maybe a year or so. But this is a much older computer that was given to us by a friend, and it is not hooked up to the Internet. We got it for her because my husband and I both spend a lot of time on our computers and she kept wanting to play on them! The only thing she plays is a Jumpstart Toddlers game with DeeDee the duck. It has a few simple games for their age, things to learn letters, colors, shapes, and counting. My daughter knows all of that information, but she can't handle the mouse well enough to move on to any other more advanced game yet.

She doesn't play this very often. Some days she will just tell me she wants to play. I don't think she's ever played more than an hour at a time, if even that long.

For now I'm not concerned with giving her any more advanced games. I'm giving her time to focus on her skills with moving the mouse around. Otherwise she will just get frustrated that she can't click on what she is wanting.

I don't know anything about this Wall-E game, but I am assuming it will be too advanced for her to play on her own.

I want my daughter to have computer experience and skills because I know they will use them in school. But I am not going to be using it as entertainment only for her. I am only giving her educational games as her skills progress.

We actually just got her a Wii game at Christmas time. It is actually "WiiWare" that you download, but it is so far the only Wii game made for pre-reading preschoolers. Again, she wants to play because she sees Mommy & Daddy playing. The game (Learning with the PooYoos) helps teach some basic Wii remote shaking and button pushing. It has some shape matching and dancing in it. It really only lasts 10 mins to play thru, and most of the time that is enough for her. I just want her to learn some of the skill so that she doesn't feel left out!

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M.B.

answers from Seattle on

M.,

Reading your post and thinking about my kids I guess they're a little more plugged in than I'd like, but not with the beat-em-up-shoot-em-up stuff. My partially guilty confession.

Now, my opinion. My son is 6, my daughter 3 (in march). I'll be talking about him mostly. When he was 3-4 we picked up the 5-in-one Caillou game. It has ABC's, 123's, and is more educational than anything else. He loved it. My husband and I both agree that our kids don't need to be on the internet at all for any reason. So I'd disable the internet connection on the desktop, then start the game for my son. He'd play for anywhere between 2 minutes and 30 minutes. Now that that computer, a desktop, is a dinosaur and moves about as fast as molasses uphill in January I don't know if my daughter will get to experience that game.

When he turned four we got him the Leapfrog Leapster. We also got more educational games for him. He still plays it, although the games are more entertainment than educational (thanks Grandpa).

This past Christmas he got a Nintendo DS lite from Santa. It was one of only two things he asked for, and thanks to a cousin he got the game, storage case, and 5 games (mostly Pokemon) to play. We are limiting daily game time to 30 minutes a day.

My daughter also has a Leapster, but that's more to keep her from stealing her brother's out of his hands while he's playing.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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M.C.

answers from Bellingham on

We started really letting my daughter play around with the computer right after she turned three. We still supervise her on and off to make sure she is not messing something up, but she is very comfortable with the computer and knows how to find her site without our help because we have it saved to our fav lists. She is already proven that she is going to be smart with electronics LOL. She knew the I-Pod touch inside and out when she turned two.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

A person cannot get by in this world anymore without knowing how to use a computer. In my opinion, it is important to teach kids to use one, and the younger you start the less frustrating it will be.
My daughter was introduced early on, but now at 8 still can only play on it for 10 minutes at a time before she gets bored. She does all of her schooling on the internet though, and is proficient at using the computer. My son, has grown up seeing a LOT computer use. I did school online, my daughter does school online, my husband fixes computers for a living, etc.. He has always been interested in them, so we let him start playing computer games at about 6 months (with us). We played Fisher-Price.com. They have some fun infant games. Now, at 3 1/2, my son also plays on Noggin, Nick Jr, Disney, Hasbro, PBS kids, Sprout, and Starfall. The computer is not a substitution for parental interaction, but there is so much kids can learn from computer games. He surprises me with the things he has learned sometimes. We put limits on the sites he visits, the games he plays, and the amount of time he plays, but I think the computer is a useful tool.

Basically, what I am saying is that I think you should introduce your daughter to a game or two that you like, but don't push it any more than that. If she knows it is there and never asks to play then don't sit her in front of the computer. But, if she asks, let her explore.

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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

My son started playing computer games around 3 or 3 1/2. He is a pro at navigating around, and he knows he can only go to the sites in his folder. He is 6.
In pre k, at his daycare they have computers for games.

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D.T.

answers from Portland on

When my daughter turned 3 we turned her onto the computer. We would look at pbskids.org and other similiar sites. It took 3-6 months for her to feel comfortable to start doing it on her own. By 4yrs she was an expert.

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K.L.

answers from Seattle on

My girls (now 5 and 6) really weren't interested in the computer until they were 4. I allowed them to go onto a few sites (starfall.com, pbskids.org) to sort of play around on it. They both picked it up very quickly. Both girls had computer lab every other week in Kindergarten, so it was helpful that they knew how the mouse works and were comfortable on it.
As for the video game you receive, I would say pack it way until you feel she is ready to use it.
Cheers!

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D.L.

answers from Miami on

My daughter will be 5 in March and she has been using the computer for about a year and a half now. She is pretty good at navigating a site and using the mouse now, but in the beginning I had to sit with her. Our computer is in an open area so I can see and hear everything when I am in the kitchen/dining room/family room. She also has a Leapster 2 that she just got this past Christmas.
These are the only sites that she is allowed to play/visit: NickJr.com, PlayhouseDisney.com, SesameStreet.org & PinkyDinkyDoo.com.

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

My son is four and while we don't have any games for him to play on the computer nor a gaming console I know that when we go to the public library he loves to sit and play the educational games while we are there. He can't always do it by himself, but I sit and try to help him when he needs it. I also know that at his preschool they have a game on the computer that he enjoys playing when it is an option.

He by no means asks to go to the library to play games, but he does recognixe when I or my husband is playing a game on the computer (solitaire or sudoku) and asks if he can help or watch and we hold his hand on the mouse and he helps.

So, with all that said, I think that if you daughter is interested that might be something fun for her to do occasionally. I don't think she'll ask for it everyday but it may be more frequently at the beginning (like any new toy) and then start to lose it's appeal. I would just be careful of being clear on whatever computer rules you have. Our son is four, he knows the computer is not a toy and that he is not to touch it unless mommy or daddy is helping him. We have to be clear because we also have a two year old, and so the rules are the same for both. If my son ever were to ask about using the computer I would probably tell him that he needed to wait until his sister was napping because she isn't allowed to use the computer, just like if he wants to paint. He understands and tries to be patient but usually tells me that she is tired and ready for her nap right then. :)

Just make a game plan with your husband and see how it goes, you can always change it - that is the beauty of being a parent. :)

One more bit, I don't know what type of game that is, but be careful of competition. I have a nephew who is 5 and plays the Wii with his brothers and sisters and is quite good at some of the sports things. Well, he and my son played over the holidays and my sister had to turn it off because he started saying mean things to my son (who had never played before) like "Ha Ha you're gonna lose!" "Watch me, I'm better". Now, I'm not one of those people who thinks everyone has to be winners and their can't be any loser, but son didn't care about what he said, but the tone he said it in was very mocking and rude. So, just something else to watch for.

Good Luck!

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C.G.

answers from Portland on

My son is 5 years old and I still don't let him use the computer unless he is sitting on my lap and we are watching Dixie Chics videos on youtube or he's sitting on my mom's lap playing solitaire with her. Those occassions are only a few times a month. With so many other, and in my opinion more healthy, ways of learning, I don't plan to let my son use the computer until he needs it for some sort of school activity that requires it. Every parent is different, but the reality is that 3-year-olds don't need to learn to use the computer and kids are so smart that when they do need to learn to use it, they'll learn and catch on to how to use it very quickly. I'm sure it would be more fun for your daughter, and a better learning experience, if you played a game with her rather than her playing a game by herself on a computer.

R.S.

answers from Portland on

Well I guess I did it quite differently than most. Both my children are adults now and use computers. My older son is a student at college, he uses computers for studying, writing papers, and socializing and my younger one has extensive skills using computers to compose music and fixing computers that don't work.

When they were children until probually grade 3 (age 9) they didn't use computers. They spent their spare time playing both indoor and out. They used their imaginations and pretended, built with blocks, figured out how things worked, and made lots of things with old cardboard boxes etc...

When they started having time on the computer, it was limited up until high school. They were not behind in their learning level in fact far from it and caught on very quickly.

I am not anti video games, but just think there are so many other things children should do while they are young. They grow up so fast! Children are quick learners with technology so I wouldn't worry about them not getting behind.

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