When Can I Test

Updated on December 06, 2013
I.K. asks from Henderson, NV
11 answers

I know its better to wait until my missed period but I'm so impatient lol My fiance and I have been trying for 2 months now. I already have a son but were ready for our next. We had sex 2 weeks ago and pretty much everyday since. My period is due in about a week and a half but my cycle was short last month. In the past not being on the pill my periods switched between short and long cycles. Could I test in a few days like a week before my period? What's the best early detection test too? I've used dollar store tests in the past. They were fine when I had my son but I don't know if they're good for early detection. Thanks :)

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So What Happened?

I don't get why you guys can't understand we already live together. We bought a house. We don't rent. Both our names are on it. Sorry we don't want a wedding right now. My dad recently died and I don't want to put my mom through the stress of having to worry about me getting married and my dad not being there. I have a well-paying job and even if I get nothing from my fiancé, I can still pay for our house and everything. We're very good with out money. were planning on getting married next fall buy we feel its too soon after ny dad. We both have wills. He has a dangerous job and does get really good life insurance. His sister is our insurance agent. We have things set up just in case and his family already agreed that if anything happened they'd be there for me. Maybe you guys are bitter about something and see everything as a negative and are super divorce happy or something. Divorce is not an option for either of us. We go to a consoler just to work out any problems we have once a month. And in PA the parent who the child lives with has custody unless the other parent fights it. If my finance, yes I have a ring, dies, id have our children no matter what. And wed legally get married eventually but wouldn't have a ceremony yet. Sorry everyone does things differently. He loves my son as his own. My sons bio sad left and never came back when my son was a month old. I just know my fiancé wants to be there through a whole pregnancy and to be there for his Childs whole life and we want children close in age. So sorry most of you have a bug up your ass.

ETA: Julie, how dare you. You dont know what my mom wants. She's actually waiting for me to have another baby. Shea expressed how she'd like to see me have another baby soon. She feels like she has to pay for a wedding but after having to pay for everything for my dad and all the treatments for the last year, we know shed stress out over not being able to pay, even though we want to pay for the whole thing. And my job is actually really good. Sorry you problem think you're too good for retail. I'm and assistant manager at a pretty large company and in training to become a shift manager. One of our shifts is actually pregnant so yea, they still keep us. I get paid salary and have really good benefits. So honestly the only reason you people annoyed me is becuase you think you know everything.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Wait til you are truly late. I understand the impatience, but if you take a test too early, it's a waste of time. At least wait til the day you are expecting it. Try EPT.

1 mom found this helpful

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

ETA Boy, do you really have things a** backwards in thought. Buying a house with someone you are not married to is a nightmare when things to wrong. His family can come in and put you out as you are not the wife. "That piece of paper" as you referred to it means an awful lot more than you think. It protects you from losing the house and his family taking over and you having no say in anything. Trust me I have seen it happen. Word of mouth does not cut it either with the "because he told me I could have ...." If it is not written down, it does not matter what was promised. You will be on the outside looking in. (I have seen it happen to my MIL and it was a sad sight.) Mother nature is the one who determines when you get pregnant not you. You might not have another child in your life. I hope you can also accept that fact.

The reason so many of us mommas have come out the way we have is that we have been there, done that, seen it, experienced it and want to save you some grief. But you are a grown a** woman so do as you wish and be prepared for the headaches and pain.

A baby does not make a family whole. A solid marriage between two adults with like interests and goals makes a family whole and then the children come.

Living in Vegas is a completely different world than the rest of the country I have lived there and it is a very fast paced town where what is in today can be out tomorrow. I hope you have your "good jobs" continue and your savings accounts stuffed full of money to live and survive the changes.

I am from the old school here. Where is the wedding before the next baby? Will you two be together after the birth if not married? Try that on for size first and then have the baby.

Testing should be after the date of the missed period. Stress will cause a period to be off.

You don't say how old you are but there is plenty of time for babies. I will get off my soapbox now.

the other S.

10 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I.

Slow down...why not get married FIRST??

How well do you know this man? Seriously. Do you know his credit score? do you know if he's a spender or a saver? Money can be a HUGE problem in relationships....so WHY NOT get married first?

I would get a blood test. Get back on my birth control if I'm not pregnant and not be in such a rush to get pregnant....make sure you guys will be good together - not just in the dating phase...before you add a baby to the mix??!!

Good luck!

7 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I., this extra stress that you are putting on yourself can also throw off your period. Two months is really not that long to be trying to get pregnant. What does the doctor say about your medical condition and your ability to get pregnant now?? Please have patience.

I read your "So What Happened" A wedding certificate means a lot- have you ever thought about these issues -Are you living with a boyfriend? What happens if he dies tomorrow? What happens to you? Most likely he has family who are his legal heirs. You would not be the legal heir. In some situations where this is the case, he may take out a life insurance policy that would provide you enough to buy the house from his estate if he does die, but no one is under any obligation to sell you his half of the property. Plus, do you really want to have a buy a house you're already living in, at a price that is much more than what your boyfriend paid? If you were married, this wouldn't be an issue. Just keep paying the mortgage. It's your house.

Without that marriage certificate you won't be able to benefit from his pension, military benefits, social security, or any other type of inheritance that automatically goes to the spouse. You could very well be out in the cold. If you do have children together, the children are his family. Not you.

In some states unmarried couples with children have another problem to face. If one parent dies, and there is no will, the state decides on who gets the children! The surviving parent doesn't just automatically get custody. Do you have a will - does he have a will?? Don't assume that because you have a biological offspring that you will have control over this situation.

What happens if there is a tragic accident and you have to make medical decisions for each other? Do you have a medical power of attorney? Would his family fight you to take control of the medical decisions?

Let's say you and your boyfriend live together. Things don't work out. In a marriage, you are protected by law and accorded certain rights and funding for one of you to find new quarters. Without the benefits of marriage, you can get kicked out on the street with no recourse.

Please slow down and think about the importance of being married for the future of your children.

5 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper. That's what people tell themselves when they are justifying why they're not married. And making your family whole is a hell of a lot of responsibility for any child. It's not the kid's job to complete a family for the parents, it's the parents' job to give that to the child. Children add a lot of stress to a family - you owe them stability and commitment. I take it your first child isn't your fiance's, so obviously, that child didn't make your "family" whole.

I'm sure you think we are all being harsh, but we see the aftermath all too often on this board and it sucks for the kids.

You can test as early as a week before your period with some brands.

ETA: of course divorce isn't an option for you: you aren't married.

5 moms found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

People, people, c'mon! Don't you know by now that your wisdom here is meaningless? Especially you old, 40 something married ones! You don't know anything. The 20 somethings are far wiser than you'll ever be... ever again, that is... you're never smarter than you are in your 20s. Good luck to you. We just know it's not going to happen to you...

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Sweetie slow down! Enjoy each phase of your life.

I would be planning a wedding first before I added to my family. I'm old fashion but I do believe that you get married first THEN you have the kiddos. I'm funny that way I guess.

You test when you miss your period.

4 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Just wait a few weeks. Geez back in my day you went to doctor when you missed your second period. Can't imagine finding out you are pregnant before you miss your period. Makes for a long long pregnancy. Patience.

3 moms found this helpful
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❤.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

I've always just waited until I'm late to test. Otherwise, it's too stressful and on your mind all the time. You only have so much control over this kind of stuff so it's easier to just wait and see what happens. I know, I've been there. Best of luck! Oh yeah, the dollar tree tests work just fine.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

You need to wait until you are a day or so before your missed period for early test. It's not accurate until you have missed your period

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

They have tests that can give you a result 4-5 days early, but the possibility of a false negative is of course much higher. I think I used first response when I tested a couple of days before my missed period, but I tested because I had other symptoms show up before that point (I had morning sickness from 4 days before my period was due until almost 7 months, yuk!). Best of luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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