What Would You Do Regarding Estate Situation

The kids probably have "next of kin" rights... but I assume an attorney is the only way to go forward with this.
Maybe at least one sibling could go get some "free" legal advice to see where they stand and what steps might have to be taken.
Most towns have a free legal service for people that don't have enough money to consult an atty.
Frank does sound like he might be taking advantage of a situation, but the kids don't seem like they've given much of a damn about their mom in the past and now they want some money..... Maybe this is why Frank was nominated in the first place. Seems like it will be messy.

Hire an estate lawyer.
Hire a CPA to audit the books for the last 10 years - this will protect you and your family against any fraud that Frank may or may not have committed and hold him accountable.
Get a copy of the will for each family member and have a family meeting.
Your (or the) family has allowed Frank to take control with no accounting for his actions. It's time to have an accounting of his actions.

Tell your husband (or friends husband) to hire a lawyer and a CPA. Then when all is completed - ask for a buy out on your (his) portion of the estate. It could be a lose for future gains - who knows?

I can also state that being a caregiver to a parent is NO EASY TASK. And it's NOT cheap. Elderly care in FULLY ASSISTED living can be upwards of $5K a month.

Bottom line - if your husband doesn't like what is happening with the estate - he is well within reason to ask for an accounting of it.

Absolutely get an attorney!!! ITs shocking to me that the other siblings are not behind this as it is evident that the POA brother is robbing them blind. Umm-the first clue is that he won't show a copy of the will. Tell your friend that he does not have to have the blessing of the rest of the gang to pursuit what is rightfully his. If he plays his cards right they will most likely be thanking him. And don't worry about the relationship with Frank because obvioulsy Frank is not concerned about him.

Oh, my gosh yes, he should get an attorney for himself. Regardless whether his siblings are on board or not. They each should probably have their own initially. Keep in mind a real "mediator" can be legally binding. He needs representation first to figure out his rights and responsibilities. There is no way of telling what the legal relationship is - is it a "trust" or some other legal vehicle. Knowing this kind of thing has consequences. And the siblings' understanding from childhood may be completely wrong. And keep in mind, Frank has a lawyer no doubt. Most businesses have them on retainer. It is beyond stupid not to see an attorney.

PS - Getting an attorney doesn't mean anyone is suing anyone or going to court, etc. But the lawyer can get access to documents, like the original will which all parties are legally entitled too. Probably without even going through Frank. Mostly, this guy jus tneeds to get clarity and understanding, Action if needed can come later. But he needs to protect his own family and kids and not worry about crazy dynamics with the extended family.

They NEED to ALL get in a room together and talk things out! That is the only thing I can think of besides hiring an attorney?

If the brother that is handling everything sees that all his brothers need questions answered or they will go to an attorney maybe that will help? It is the logical first step, anyway!

~My Grandmother left a hefty trust fund for myself and all her other grandchildren (10 kids total) and my Aunt was the executor of her will and she squandered all our $ and I never saw a dime, even though I was scheduled to get a lump sum when I was 25 and then another when I was 30 and then the last one when I was 35. I did have 1 cousin who hired an attorney and ya know what? He was the ONLY one to get his money. I was still just a kid when all this happened so by the time I became an adult all the $ was long gone and there was nothing I could do about it!

Your friend's husband should hire an attorney to look into his rights and remedies in this situation. If the sibs decide they want to widen the scope of work to include their interests, they'd have to work out their own fee structures w/ the attorney. Whatever attorney fees there might be will probably be worth resolving all the uncertainties and bad blood that's building. I agree with the responder who said the primary caregiver may be entitled to a greater share (as someone who is primary caregiver to my MIL, I can assure you that even under the best circumstances it is a most difficult and sometimes thankless task --perhaps more so in such a dysfunctional family unit!).

As others have said, he has nothing to lose. As long as he approaches it from the point of view of his own rights and interests, he doesn't even have to deal w/ the sibs. If they want to let sleeping dogs lay, that's their choice. But if they take an interest after he makes an effort on his behalf, they should not expect any of the results w/o contributing to the cost of any actions that might benefit them. JMHO

First of all, the mother isn't dead yet so all this is in poor taste from an ethical perspective; however, is it very common for families to break up over money and wills. This is why an attorney is always a good idea, but don't forget attorneys can be crooked too, so choose wisely. One of my questions is....anyone helping to take care of the mother or is Frank doing it all on his own? If he's doing it all on his own, he may feel entiled to some of the proffit. How would these other siblings feel if they were the sole caretaker? The best thing to do is to have the income from the estate carefully recorded and figured out to the tee, which would include giving Frank some kind of compensation for managing the businesses as well. This way everybody get a share of what ever proffit is left after the mother dies. They shouldn't be so quick to bury her. As for your friend having a hard time...She could request her inheritance early with something written up by an attorney that she already received it, but that will leave bad feelings from the others. The other thing she can do is figure out how she can save money....maybe by switching from an SUV to a small car, baking instead of buying prepared items, opting for cheap white bread, etc.

The siblings should see an estate attorney and possible an corporate/business attorney.

The business that Frank is running should be assessed for its current value. Frank should either establish a trust wherein all of the children share in the profits (and losses) or Frank, if he wants the business for himself should be the others out.

Lawyer now. The lawyer will not "get" the property. He will get paid for his worth, and whoever is supposed to get the property, will get it. It's already hitting the fan, but with a lawyer, the husband will be able to deal with something. Since Frank is not cooperating, they don't have ANYTHIGN to lose. If for some reason, Frank legally gets everything, then nothing has changed. They need to get help.

Of course Drank won't agree to anything. No matter what... He loses something... And he's been long shown to view it all as his.

Lawyer.

Your friend doesn't even have to get the subs on board. A lawyer purely representing his interest is FINE.

Do nothing. See nothing. Get lawyer. Will have to pay lawyer. But have a chance to actually SEE something. Say lawyer takes 10%. That still 90% divibded by 5. As opposed to 100% divided by 1.

Franks scare tactics have worked. Stop letting them. A total audit/ accounting/ and distribution is LONG overdue. Only a lawyer can help with that as Frank is treating everythingike his piggy bank.

i read throught the post so far and they seem reasonable.

He should be able to consult with an attorny with out going broke, and then go from there to decide if further action would make sense, but just like any service the attorny deserves to be paid for his time.

I think the biggest point i want to make is, that while yes it is worth pursuing this to a point, (since there already isn't a strong family bond, it doesn't seem like that matters. to me it's more how much upfront money and energy does your friend want to put into this.) how far you pursue it depends on what the lawyer finds out.

What bugs me a bit is that it sounds like Frank is the one caring for and dealing with elderly alcoholic mom, who probably isn't a picnic in the park to deal with. i always feel the sibling that is caring for the parent deserves more in compensation. but not knowing the whole story maybe there is more to it.

I guess what i started to say was that your friend in essence never had this money and shouldnt' get his hopes up that there is any left for him. that still isn't what i mean exactly, maybe don't count on it to change his situation, he should be working hard and making good decisions so that good things come to him by his own accord not from this dysfunctional family. Still not quite what i mean. I hope he does check it out and i hope there is some for all, and i would love an update someday.

The mother is not dead yet.
The brother has legal power of attorney.
I would think that unless they can claim fraud (BIG difference than being a bad businessman) then they will have to wait until the mother dies to receive their shares.
Can your friend's husband ask for a LOAN against his future inheritance? Then they can subtract it from his share upon her death.