What Would You Do? - Decorah,IA

Updated on February 14, 2012
R.B. asks from Decorah, IA
16 answers

My 12 yr old son is blind in one eye ( he was born with his optic nerve 1/4 the normal size and by the time he was 6/7 he is now 100% blind in that eye)

He is very active in sports, he loves them! He is normally a very shy quiet kid... you get him out there playing and he opens up and is very into the game. I love seeing him come out of his shell :)

Here is my deal...
He has perfect vision in his good eye. The eye dr wants him to wear glasses when he is playing to protect his good eye from getting hurt. We have tried this. A couple of years ago he was wearing his glasses and got hit in the face when missing the basketball, the glasses hit his face and he actually had to get stitches above his good eye from the glasses. The stitches were on the eye brow and along the side of his eye. Had he not been wearing them, he would have had a black eye Im sure, but not the stitches.

Last year we got him sport goggles and he hated them, when he would sweat they would fog up and he couldn't see out of them.

So we just quit making him wear them when he played. Well at Saturday's game a kid passed him the ball and it was from the side and it came at him from the side he can't see out of. The ball hit him right in the face, smoked him right in the bad eye. My son sucked it up and didn't stop playing at all. They called him out after the play and he sat for a few mins with his cold gatorade on his eye, but went right back in when it was his turn. He has a small black eye from it. His dad was mad that he got hurt.

His dad went off of me saying that he should have had his glasses on. I feel bad that he got hurt, but I feel that with his glasses on he could have gotten hurt worse ( this is what happened last time and he needed stitches) how can I make him wear the goggles when he can't see with him? His dad said I should make him, this isn't about choices. I know heaven forbid something happens to his eye Im going to kick my self for not doing it.

Quitting sports is not an option. My son loves them and since he was 6 months and we have known about this we have made sure he lives a "normal" life and we have never focused on his disability. We don't want it to sway his decisions in his life... like oh I shouldn't do that because what if.. ( well to a point, but not have it be his main reasoning for not trying something)

So... would you make your child wear the glasses for basketball/ baseball games or not? Football he wears a helmet with a shield so nothing can get into the helmet since its more likely to happen there.

Im not asking who is right ( me or his dad) but more how would you handle it? I honestly do see his pov and understand where he is coming from. But I have also seen him get hurt worse because he had the glasses on.. so Im not sure what way to go here.

Or if you know of a certain brand of goggles that don't fog up that would work? He only has one game left this season, but in a few months we will start up with baseball.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Nancy that's a good idea, I didn't even think of taking the lenses out.

Its my ex husband, not my husband. My husband agrees that he shouldn't wear the wire/ plastic frames for the same reason.

Thank you for your input so far, its nice to hear others pov since I do understand his pov also... never know what way is the right way, ugh parenthood.. :)

Thank you Kaydon. He is right, my son is use to it this way and it is his way of life. Its kinda sad but he said he was thankful when he went blind in it. That meant no more seeing everything with a dark grey circle in the middle of it. It was easier for him to see once he went blind.

Fingers crossed that some day the stem cell replacement will be able to be used on everyone. They told me that with his eye still being healthy they would be able to use the stem cells to have his optic nerve grow to normal size and he would then be able to get his vision back with it. But until that happens ( or if it ever happens) he is use to this way and you would never know it by looking at him :)

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

No question I would make him wear sports goggles. You can probably find better ones. He is more likely to get hit in the face because he already can't see out of one eye. Letting my 12 year old decide whether to risk blindness or not - kids think they will live forever and nothing bad will ever happen. They make bad choices all the time - they are kids. Like 8KidsDad said - bones heal but if he loses the one eye his life will be different forever.

4 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would go with the sports goggles...they have to have better ones that don't fog, you might have to pay a bit more $ for them, and what about anti-fog spray or something?

I would give the task of finding and buying the good goggles to his Father (ex-husband) since he is the one pushing for them.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I played raquet ball for about 40 years. Raquetball is a fast paced game with a small rubber ball that bounces off all four walls, the floor and the ceiling. There are glasses for raquetball players that protect the eye without blocking the vision or fogging up.

Legs and limbs can be broken and bruised. Knees can be broken and muscles torn so a limp or pain is a life long companion, but you can't replace an eye ! ! ! I played little league baseball. I was hit in the eye with a high fly ball that just happened to pass in front of the sun just before it hit my eye. My glasses saved my right eye. I got 4 or 5 stitches and kept my vision. The doctor said my glasses saved my eye. The raquetball glasses are much better than my glasses were.

You might feel bad about making him wear protective glasses, and he may hate it, but he only has one eye left. BTW, IF you make him wear a seat belt, why would you even think twice about requiring him to wear protective glasses?

Good luck to you and yours.

5 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

There are all kinds of glasses out there for sports. I'd look for glasses that won't fog up. I'll be there are some out there. Try glasses for shooting sports. I'm a Soldier and we are required to wear ballistic eye protection whenever we're on patrol. I have a fantastic pair of Oakley classes with lenses that can be swapped out (tinted or clear). They don't fog up. I also have a pair of glasses for when I'm bike riding (road debris and tree branches can be dangerous!) from Performance Bike. They don't fog up either...and I've worn them on some HOT, sweaty days!

Look around...I'll bet you can find a good pair that will work for your son.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If it were my son, and he had no vision in O. eye, I would make him wear the sport goggles to protect the good eye. A few kids my son's age have them, and though I realize they may be "bothersome" to wear, I would think not as bothersome as a major injury to his O. good eye would be for the rest of his life.
Keep looking, google them and find something that will work for his safety and everyone's piece of mind. It might only take O. split second to have the good eye damaged and you can't afford that.
Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I see both sides. I think he might have been hurt worse if he had had the glasses on - but I see your husband's point about not wanting the good eye damaged. I would seek a compromise - talk to an optometrist. See what they have. When I went to the optometrist last month - they had a wide selection of sport glasses.

Also go to Dick's Sporting Goods or some other large sporting goods store and see what they have. Have your son with you so he can get a feel for them as well.

ETA: for baseball - just make sure he has the shield on the front of his helmet and have him wear it. Our Little League has the rule of the helmets on while at/on base.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.W.

answers from Eugene on

I've seen sport goggles that were just the outer frames without the lenses. They should protect the eyes from something big like a ball, but won't help with flying debris like a dirt clod. But at least they would deflect most large flying objects and perhaps the random elbow to the face.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.K.

answers from Appleton on

He's an athlete. You can't wrap him in bubble wrap and stick him in a corner with a good book. If he is going to play sports he is going to get hurt. It's a matter of dealing with any injury as they happen.

Ask the ex if he would be as angry if your son had a knee injury or broke an arm? That should gage your response.

My Mom was the type to play it safe. Whenever we left the house she always yelled 'don't get hurt'. So if we fell off our bike or something we were hesitent to even tell Mom. She would go into a panic at a scraped knee.

The most important thing in life is to live your life, not sit on the sidelines and watch. You have to be who you are meant to be.

2 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

That seems a little silly that the doctor wants him to wear glasses to protect his good eye. If that were the case wouldn't eye doctors want us ALL to wear glasses. I mean, we only got two eyes!!! I say, if he doesn't need the glasses to see then I would not make my kids wear them. Injuries happen in sports ALL the time, so I am with you on that one (even though you didn't want us to pick sides! lol).
When my son was a newborn we got into a horrible car accident. He had brain bleeding and extra liquid in his brain for almost a year after. I have to fight the urge to put my kid in a helmet all day every day. I want to protect his brain more than anything!! His doctor made it clear to us that he can not play football, but my son plays soccer and he's always trying to head that damn ball!! But, I, like you, don't want to make him live his life any differently. His brain healed, thank God, and I want to keep him safe, but I want him to live too. So, even though I want him in a helmet and armor...he's not.
I say, the glasses probably wouldn't protect his eye anymore than normal. I wouldn't make my son wear them.
L.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My husband is disabled. Occasionally he does something and ends up hurt. Disney world's animal safari left him with a possible concussion and the worst headache he ever had.

Will he stop riding it? Yes, because it was not worth it to him. Does he take his wheelchair deer hunting on rough land? Yes, because that is important to him.

I would not make him wear glasses and would get a different doctor's opinion.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from Houston on

Try and steer him towards "helmeted" sports. Football, horse riding, cycling, things that he would have to wear a helmet for anyway.
There must be other more expensive sports glasses he could wear, with not shatter lenses. He needs to protect that eye, bottom line.

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Talk to his doctor. Together w/ the doctor and your son, you can make the best decision for your son. I understand that the glasses injured your son more than the black eye did but had it been something that would have punctured his eye, the glasses would have protected him. The goggles would certainly protect him and be less likely to injury him. I wonder is you could find a pair that are better ventalated.

1 mom found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

If it were me, I wouldn't make him wear the glasses, and if my husband got onto me for not doing it, I would tell him that he is welcome to enforce his decision to have his son wear his glasses on his own, but as for me, I'm not making him wear them. Hopefully you have talked to your husband about your concerns?

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Boston on

At 12 I would let him make the choice himself.

1 mom found this helpful

K.H.

answers from Wausau on

My boyfriend was born this way with his left eye...I asked him about this and he told me that your son would be so used to this by now that it is normal to him. I personally think glasses are extreemly dangerous to wear in sports..in fact a lot of sports coaches will tell the players to use contacts when playing to be safe. I wear glasses and my daughter when she was 10 months old threw her head back against my face smashing my glasses and I was left with a pretty bad injury...imagine if it were a ball being thrown! It would have been a lot worse! Also my boyfriend just added (if you dont know this already) he needs to wear his glasses or contacts constantly or his other eye will start to go bad from the strain...he's been told this by his Dr. and also experineced it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think having a talk with the coach about the importance of the other players never aiming for his head would be a good place to start. The players need to be aware that he could get hurt and maybe become blind in both eyes if they do that. Most people see the ball coming and will raise their arm/hands to shield their face. Since he can't see it coming he could get hit so hard it could tear the remaining tissue in the other eye.

I admire your family for encouraging him to play sports when it would be so easy to look at him as disabled and not allow him to even try. Good for you guys.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions