My son will be 4 in a few months and has always been extremely inquisitive. I've always done my best to be patient with his questions and give him detailed explanations. However, over the past few months he has started either saying "Why?" or "What?" after nearly EVERYTHING my husband or I say. The "whys" I know are pretty normal, but I wasn't prepared for the "whats". He says it as though he didn't hear what we said, and for a long time we would just repeat what we said. Now we say "Did you hear what I said?" and he can repeat back every word, so I know he has heard me just fine. So why is he saying "what" all the time (he says it after what I say about 90% of the time; no exaggeration!)? I'm not sure why I get so irritated, but it's really driving me crazy. Since I know he has heard exactly what I've said, maybe he's just saying it out of habit? I thought maybe he was saying it because even though he heard what I said, he wasn't really paying attention to me when I started talking and he still needed time to process it. But, he even says it when I know that I have his full attention while I'm speaking. Any ideas on why he is saying it and how I might be able to break the habit (if it is one)? Thanks in advance for your advice!
Thanks so much for all the tips! I am going to give them a try and see what happens. Even if nothing works, I know it will pass, and it's also just comforting to know that it's normal and I'm not the only mom who is being driven crazy by it! :)
Ha! Mine does that too. I think it must be some developmental thing. The way I handle it is to say "You tell me." After a few times he will get tired of repeating the answer and move on.
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my son will say what when it is a response he was not looking for...I just look at him and say you heard me and leave it at that. I am happy to say we have not ventured into the whys yet, but I know they are coming...I guess if it has become a habit, maybe try ignoring it? At least we all know that these will pass = ) Just wait, I have one that is 15 years old as well, and some days I hope he will talk to me = )
My son does it too. It can be maddening! I don't know how to break it. If it's obviously he heard me, I'll say "you heard me" or "I'm not repeating myself". I'm not rude or anything, but it's not a fun habit to get into! :-)
I have no advice, but my son is 3 1/2 and does the same thing. Makes me want to stick a fork in my eye after a few hours. I'm hoping this phase passes soon.
My baby is 4 and she bugs the crud outa me! She too is very smart and she will start with that mess and I would rather be poked with tooth picks than deal with it but I started the 3 whys? She gets to ask me why 3xs and I will answer. After that forget it. It took a few days but its funny because she will be ready to start in and then realize she asked 3xs already and she will stop. Boy she sure doesn't want to tho!! Give it a try!
My daughter who is 2 1/2 uses the "what" quite frequently. I also asked if she has heard what I said and she can repeat it. I was wondering if it had something to do with her language/speech development. She did not talk as early as my son and seems to want to be able to say things perfectly instead of trying to say them a few times. She is very bright in that before she had words you could ask her to find something in a big room and she knew just where it was. She likes to do a lot of observing. I have noticed that she asks me "what" a few times and then will repeat the answer to me as if asking again but I think she is just practicing the words. It can seem frustrating to repeat yourself lots - seems we do that anyway when we are asking our kids to do something - LOL! I think it is a phase and that it too shall pass - Hang in there!
Oh my gosh... My 2 1/2 year old just started doing this! It frustrates me too. With "why" at least I have something to say to her, but the "what" seems crazy to me... over and over its what... what... what... I just realized that I repeat what I tell her over and over and she is just saying what again... lol I have no clue what to do about it!
My 3 (almost 4) year old constantly says, "whatwhy?" after everything. He's made them into a single word that pretty much follows everything we say. I think I have the patience of a saint answering his questions most the time, but it DRIVE ME FREAKING CRAZY!!!!
It depends on what precipitated the "What?" or "Why?" Usually it only annoys me if it's said as a way to argue with me about something he doesn't want to hear. When he asks "why?" in that case, I usually reply with, "Yes, Mommy" to indicate what I think the correct should be. And then he usually grumbles, "Yes, Mommy" with a pout.
So I guess my advice is to tell him what you think an appropriate response to whatever he is questioning would be, whether it is "Yes, Mom" or "OK, Dad," or whatever. Tell him he can ask you to repeat something if he didn't hear or understand you, but you don't want him to say "What?" as a standard response for everything.
