What to Expect at a 2 Year Old's Bday Party

Didn't say whether the b-day child is a boy or girl, so any kind of interactive book would probably be nice. As a mom of 3, I have to say that a 2 year old has no idea what the heck is going on, birthday-wise, so it would be perfectly fine to give a gift certificate attached to a small stuffed animal so that mom can go and choose something she really needs for the child (trust me, parents get tired of collecting unnecessary toys!). As for your anxiety, a few things: 1) know that, until around age 4-5, kids parties consist of a bunch of parents following their kids around while intermittently having 2-sentence conversations (that's about all you can get in before you have to go off chasing your kid - or picking up after him/her - or playing with your kid - or showing your kid how to play nice!). Two year olds don't just wander off & play among themselves without parents close behind! Don't worry about having in-depth conversations - they don't happen (everyone is in the same boat, so no explanation/apology necessary!), 2) typically, parents end up talking about their child's development or thier common bond, the daycare, which is a topic you completely know everything about, so don't worry about having nothing to say, and 3) when all else fails, breathe! Try this: on a daily basis, practice breathing by counting to 4 when you breathe in and counting to 5 when you breathe out. This allows you to regulate the amount of oxygen you are taking in and will prevent your body from reacting as if you are really in some crisis situation, which should keep your anxiety somewhat at bay. Finally, remember that the best way to get over your anxiety is to put yourself in anxiety provoking situations and have experiences that offer you proof that you can handle it, so congratulations to you for being so brave and pushing to do the uncomfortable thing for the sake of your child! Good luck!

Good for you for not allowing your phobias and fears to become your child's! That's a hugely important part of parenting I think a lot of people miss.

A 2 year old birthday will involve you arriving and most of the little ones will run around and play. At that age you have to watch them fairly closely, so you'll have loose chit-chat with other parents while keeping an eye on the kids. It depends on the birthday child's parents as to what they have for the party. Some people have a buffet type snack table or pizzas or that type of thing. Others just serve the ice cream and cake. Some have the child open their presents then and there -others wait until people have gone home. Most of your task will involve introducing yourself and making small talk. Relax -this usually revolves around the kids and kid topics at these things! Other basic stuff -what do you do? Have you always lived here? Are you staying at that preschool next year? -that type of question is the usual banter.

For the gift -nothing too extravagant is required. We usually set a $10 limit on toddler birthday gifts unless it's a special child we're very close to. Go down the aisle for toddlers/preschool at Target or Walmart and you'll find a number of things. If you have a cool local toy store or bookstore for kids, you may find some good Melissa and Doug toys or puzzles for that age. Since you don't know the people or child that well, I would stick to age guidelines on the product and not get anything that didn't say "age 2 or 2+" on the box.

You don't need to bring anything else (other than diapers, wipes and a change for your son -regular diaper bag stuff). Just remember to tell the hosts thanks when you're leaving. For a 2 year old, it shouldn't last more than 1.5-2 hours.

Also remember -no one is staring at you or fixating on you. Everyone there is too busy keeping at least one eye on their kid while trying to talk to others, so take some deep breaths! This will probably be the first in a long line of kid's parties you attend. Good luck!

You'll probably be chatting mostly with the other parents while the kids play. Luckily, much conversation - if it's with people that don't know each other - tends to revolve around the kids. So you'll have something to contribute! You'll also have to keep a close eye on your little one at that age, so you won't be on your own to totally talk with other moms.

What does your son like to play with? Anytime I have to buy toys for other kids, I just go to Target and look for whatever I think my son would like that's around $20-30. Problem solved.

Just go by your budget... per a gift.
Even a Playh-Doh kit, is good for this age.

At a party for this age, you do need to supervise... at least your kid.
Then depending on what the parents have planned for the kids, then you will find out at the party. Sometimes they have games for the kids. Or it is just hanging out and eating cake etc. Just casual. Some parents do have a "schedule" of the events/activities. It depends.
And let your kid mingle. Per his interaction level and comfort.
And you mingle too....

For you and your social anxieties... there is a good book, called "The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future." by Lucinda Bassett. It is for 'anxiety'/fears/stress or people who have emotional blocks or depression. Real upbeat type of reading... per how a person may have grown up. She's helped corporations and individuals... and organizations like AT&T, McDonald's, the LPGA, and the AIDS Foundation, and was on Oprah too.
Anyway, its worth a shot to read... for self-help if anything. For anyone.
You can see it on Amazon... and the reviews of it there.

all the best,
Susan

Oops - not sure WHY I thought you had a daughter. SORRY! And yes, some 2 yos will NOT want to give up the toy. My oldest loved picking out gifts though, so go by what he can do.

If you don't know what the child likes, have yours help you select. Just go to Target or some similar place, select a few age-appropriate things, and ask your daughter to pick the gift from them. She learns a skill that way.

Parents tend to stay "on top" of 2 year olds, but if they are all contained where you can keep an eye on yours and intervene if needed, then it's fine to socialize. If you are friendly but don't say much, a talker is sure to find you. And maybe then you and your daughter can go home & take a nap.

Does that help?

What a great way to meet other moms! Definitely go and bring a toy that's appropriate for a 2yr old, wrap it up and bring with. You can definitely break the ice by approaching a mom or moms and saying "hi, I'm so and so's mom, nice to meet you, which one is yours?" Take it from there. Chances are there are a few like you who may not know other moms from class. If it's a nice and receptive group then you may even go as far as suggesting a weekly playgroup or a moms night out once a month. I met all my girlfriends in adult life through my kids and they are the ones that I mostly have relationships with, anyway. It's a new chapter in your life-one step at a time and take the pressure off of yourself. The expectations that we put on ourselves..no one else puts on us...it's so silly. Have a great time!

I do a $10-15 gift for classmates. And I think a playdoh kit would be perfect for that age.

As for what you do at the party, depending on where you are at, if confined or let to roam, you'll either be watching kids play around adults or tending to your child. For example my children got invited to a museum birthday and we were basically on our own except for cake & presents. But I've gone to a zoo one before, where they did a demonstration and all kids sat in together parents on the outside. I am really shy too, so I know how your feeling. You'll just basically be doing small chat with other parents, I wouldn't worry about it too much...and hey I met a really great family from doing something like this. Now the mom is one of my VERY good friends. So try to relax and have a great time.

I found that the opptys to have small talk with other guests' moms were very rare and short since you will be there chasing around your own child. For me, that meant following my 2 year old around to make sure he was safe/sharing nicely etc. We've been to a few types...partys held near a playground, backyard, children's gym etc. I generally take age appropriate toys as birthday gifts. I tape on a gift receipt in case they don't like it/already have it. Time will go fast. You will be fine.

Good for you for pushing through your insecurity!!!

When I RSVP I always ask the mother what the child likes/needs b/c I find even with my 4 YO when I let them choose, a bunch of odd unrelated things end up in the basket and it looks like we're re-gifting a bunch of random stuff!!

I always get a gift receipt and tape it to the item so that they can return it if they get doubles, etc.

Re: the party at this age you really are "all over" your child ... like you would be at the park or beach so there will be time for small talk but probably not too much. They usually last about 1.5 to 2 hours max. and yes, if your child is 'active' it can be a bit stressful... but so worth it. Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

I wouldn't recommend having your son help you choose a present at his age - many children that young see the toy and don't want to give it away, especially if he picked it out (because then he probably *really* likes it!)

Choose something age-appropriate, I generally spend between $10-20. 2 years old is a difficult age to buy gifts for, since kids have such widely differing skills at that age, and many toys are marked "3+". I like to do 'safe' gifts - like the Aquadoodle ( http://www.aquadoodle.com/ ), found at many retailers, or Crayola Model Magic or Color Wonder products, or Playdoh kits. Stuff that any skill level can do and they can grow into doing more with, good for either gender. You don't need to bring anything except a gift/card, unless it is specified on the invitation.

Expect at the party you'll be supervising your little one's interactions with other kids to some extent. Depending on what activities are planned, you may need to be helping him with that, or you may be able to just stand back and watch a bit. You'll probably get a few minutes to talk to other adults, here and there, but expect the noise level to be pretty high, so don't worry too much about it. I agree with the other poster - a talker will find you, if you're open to it. = )

Have some fun and plan on a nap afterwards for the two of you. You're a great momma for going out of your own comfort zone to do the best for your little one. Kudos to you!