What to Do with His Family

Updated on November 15, 2006
A.C. asks from Buffalo, NY
4 answers

Well I have been dating this guy for about 4 years now and i am starting to doubt the whole thing. His family absoulutly hates me!! They are nothing but nasty to me. I also work for and with them. I am treated very unfair and wrong. I talked to my boyfriend about the whole thing, he wants me to quit. I feel it is in my best interest to do so because i am always stressed out over the issues at work. The issues are then brought into our relationship and cause problems at home. I love my boyfriend very much but i am not sure i can deal with his family for the rest of my life. I have a 4 year old litlle girl and she is very attatched to my boyfriend, he has raised her as his own. I fear having children with him because of his family. I dont want to live in fear all my life. I love this man so much and he loves me but his family makes it so difficult . Anyone hae any sugestions?

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M.K.

answers from Boston on

One thing that I have told my husband is: You chose me, I chose you, we did not CHOOSE our family. It was our choice to be together. If anything happens because of our choices, it will be our consequences!
M.

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L.W.

answers from New York on

Hi, my friend is going thru this. her to daughters are preteens and when she met her now husband. his family she worked for. the owner of the comp.(his brother) even threatend to fire her if they get married so geuss what. they got married. she got a new job and my godson is on the way. there happen his family is bitchie. there good to her daughters and even let us use the pool. so. hopefully the new baby will change things if not YOUR WITH HIM NOT THEM. hell my husbands family and my family new each other since i was born, and we dont talk to them or half mine. so dont let family play apart in your relationship. caus the sayin family is forever is full of sh_ _ ! take care.

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L.W.

answers from Cumberland on

A.,
I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have been with my boyfriend for going on 7 years. When I met his family they never spoke to me. I was very shy around them so I didn't notice right away. I had a son before we met. We now have a daughter together. He had a son before me. They have his son alot. When I really took notice that my son and daughter and I wasn't treated the same was at Christmas. My kids got a few gifts that came from the dollar store. Don't get me wrong I get my kids thing from the dollar store to, but his son they bought very expensive gifts and it took the kid an hour or longer to open them all. When we got home I pointed it out to my boyfriend and he said he didn't know why they was like that. So I started to notice that they never talked to me unless I spoke to them first.Then next few Christmas the same thing happened. My kids started to notice. So this pass Christmas we never went up to see them. They never brought the gifts down or anything. When we got his son he told my kids that pap took thier gifts back and gave him the money. We haven't been up to there place since before Christmas in 2005 and I don't plan to go this year either. I have asked my boyfriend why they treat me and my family like that and he don't know. He has stopped talking to them or he says he has.

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D.

answers from New York on

I would find another job. Then make your boyfriend get involved. This is his family and his fight. If he truly loves you then he will defend you and set his family in their places. It's not putting him in the middle, it's forcing him to deal with the situation that is part of his problem too. I'm sure he loves you both (his fam and you). He needs to let them know that you are going to be a part of his life and they need to get over it and deal. And that if the bad behavior continues then they may not just lose you but him and you.

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