What to Do When You're a Sick SAHM?

Updated on September 19, 2011
C.S. asks from Columbia, MD
23 answers

How do you handle your infant (6 months) when you're sick ( vomiting, etc) and theres no family around and Hubby is too busy? Big brother is at least in preschool all day, but Baby needs Mommy and Mommy's on the toilet with a trashcan in front of her...

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answers from Honolulu on

I just deal with it.
I have done that.
A sick Mommy... still goes on and on. Like a battery that never runs out.
Even if we want to.

Just put baby someplace safe. Its okay. Or in a play-pen.
Its okay.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Des Moines on

If it were me, I would tell hubby he may be busy but his family comes first and he needs to be at home so you can get better.

He needs to come home and take over so that you don't get that poor baby sick as well :/

UPDATE: I can't believe some mom's stories about suffering through while husbands work. I don't think my hubby would ever go to work knowing I was doing so terrible. He would insist on staying home!

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from Seattle on

I strapped mine into his carseat and brought him into the bathroom with me.

For 3 days we lived in the bathroom. Drug diapers and bottles (hint: if you're breastfeeding you may end up too dehydrated to nurse) and everything we needed in there and just rode it out.

It was one of the early signs that I should have divorced my husband on the spot.

Any man who just leaves his kids in the care of someone who can't even care for themselves and just has them fend for themselves, is no man at all. Just a little boy with a maid and a place to put his d who doesn't deserve the title. It's an absolutely VILE thing to abandon your family that way if you are within driving distance. And if NOT, then you durn well get someone there to PROTECT YOUR FAMILY FOR YOU.

"Too busy" had better mean he's out of state or in the hospital. Even the military (as long as you're not deployed) will give you emergency leave to take care of your sick family for up to 72 hours with no questions asked.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

You just do what you are doing. I had a baby, a toddler and myself throwing up, and a hubby that had a broken leg that couldn't do anything. It was xmas. I did it. I just did......

You just find the toilet bowl, or bowl, and keep on doing. Your a mom. We are a truly amazing breed --it's too bad no one gets that.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I just suffered :(
When my kids were little I wouldn't have ever asked my husband to stay home from work just because I was sick.
I still remember one time when I'm sure I had a case of really bad food poisoning---vomiting, diarrhea and a fever---and yet I was home with a nursing newborn and a not quite three year old. I was practically delirious.
I look back now and say why? Why didn't I just ask my husband to stay home so I could rest?
I think it's because we SAHM's think somehow since we don't have to go to "work" we should just be able to tough it out.
Don't be a fool like me, if your husband MUST go to work, then fine, but he needs to take over when he gets home. Get better!!!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

You just deal with it. And I don't mean that in a "suck it up and deal with it" type of way. Feel free to cry and whine and feel horrible emotionally as well as physically. But I have never found a solution! You just have to take care of the baby as well as puke when you have to. If you have a play area, take the baby there, lay on the floor and let baby play...if he plays at all yet. Or lay on the floor by him. He might not get taken care of quite as well as usual, but it's really hard when you're that sick!

When I had morning sickness this last time, my baby was six months old. It was a very surprising pregnancy, which made it more difficult (I wanted the pregnancy, just not the timing). I had four kids to take care of, one being the little baby. I had AWFUL morning sickness for about 10 weeks. Luckily it went away, but during that time, it was horrible. No one helped except my hubby when he was home. There was no break from the sickness. Just 24/7 feeling like dying would be a better option (like my drama? but it's how I felt!).

Moms are tough. You can do it. I hope you feel better soon!

ADDED: In defense of some husbands (though I'm sure this isn't always the case), they can't always stay home. They don't always have the option to take a day off. Now my hubby does, but obviously when going through morning sickness he cant' stay with me the whole time. My oldest daughter is immune compromised, so I can't have other people help due to it possibly making her sick. So, sometimes there are odd situations. But if you're hubby can stay home, I'd ask him to stay home. He needs to be doing something REALLY important to be too busy to be with you.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

This only happened to me once and I pushed myself, called hubby because I was curled up in front of the bathroom shaking, ended up in urgent care with an IV getting fluids pumped into me for FIVE hours... Hubby now ALWAYS comes home ASAP when I say I am extermly sick (happens maybe once a year) and he needs to be home now, otherwise I will try push myself to do things I should not when ill and we will end up with another urgent care bill that could have been avoided.

Make hubby see you need him home to help out, I understand that some need or must work BUT you would care for him if super sick so he should do the same. I pretty much tell hubby home now because I am unable to take care of our daughter (now that my daughter is 5 she is good about keep busy inside, safely, I struggle to make the meals/snacks but usually do not need to call hubby any more). Otherwise is there a friend/other mom you can call? I would help any mom friend that called saying she was super sick.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

This may be easier said than done but...Tell hubby to become unbusy and take over.......that's what you do. I mean seriously, you are unable to care for your baby right now. He needs to step in and take over.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Savannah on

Does your husband have something with his insurance that would provide for a nanny or daycare for a copay? We had the choice of sending my son to a daycare nearby or a nanny coming into our home for a $20/day copay. You might want to have him call HR and check on that. We didn't know about it and could have used it when I had knee surgery.
Do you go to church or have a friend that could come and help out a little? (Even if just for a couple hours). Another thing: Baby Einstein and The Wiggles became little 30 minute friends when I was indisposed.
One night I was up from midnight to 5am on the toilet with a trashcan in my lap. It was really bad. My husband took my oldest to daycare and paid the extra day, and kept the baby with him so I could sleep and rehydrate. Thankfully, that's only happened a couple times in our marriage. For some reason, my body chooses to get sick on weekends when my husband is home to take care of the kids without taking off work. What's up with that? Strange, but a good thing.
Sleep when they sleep. (I slept on the couch because it was easier for me to get on and off of).

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

When my kids were really little then I would sleep when they were napping or they watched alot of t.v. while I was comotose on the couch. If I was throwing up then I would tell my husband I needed him home. He was more than willing to help out. I didn't get the pukey stomach flu but maybe 2 times while they were that little...just cold/flu hits me occasionally.

My kids are all in school so it is a little easier to get help with a carpool group for drop off and pick up...and then I rest while they are gone.

I think you need to have a heart to heart with hubby about how you need him to help when you are pukey sick..not for the sniffles. And..when baby sleeps...you sleep.

Good luck and best wishes that next time around your hubby will be "too busy" holding your hair back when you are praying to the porcelain god...and fixing you some chicken noodle soup while holding baby on his hip.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Ugh, that is the worst! I just made my bedroom and bed our spot for the day and kept baby safe beside me or in the swing and suffered thru it! It sucks but we gotta do what we gotta do, right? The worst part is always worrying that your gonna pass on the sickness to the little one...

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Get better sorry.. I remember puking, my husband had the stomach bug at the same time.. Didn't want grandparents to help because didn't want to get them sick.. We used PAC n play.. With toys and kit Chen stuff such as containers for baby to play with set it up in front of tv. Baby Einstein movi es.. Car seat strapped in and brought it in. The bathroom so I could take a shower. Also I feel your pain no matter what my husband goes to work ..

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Keep doing whatever you've been doing up to the time of this question. o:)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

ooh man!!! I feel your pain!!!

When my kids were small and the few times I got sick? I stayed low-key and kept them with me....kept the bouncy seat close by so that I could keep them safe yet near me....

Hope you are better soon!!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Do you have any baby videos? I used to put my daughter in her battery-operated swing and let her watch Baby Einstein. It gave me a 30 minute break, at least.
Then, park her in her car seat by the window and let her take in the view for 20 minutes. Even if she cries, give yourself that 20 mins. Then, put her in her crib with some toys for another 30 mins.
Keep making little changes to keep her distracted and buy yourself a little rest. It's OK to not keep Baby entertained for a while.
Take some ibuprofen if you can keep it down, for aches and fever. Works in 30 mins. Even tiny sips of water do something to keep you hydrated.
Do you have a friend you can call? Be careful to wash your hands to minimize the risk of passing it on to baby.
Relax - you'll get through it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

I dont remember how I did it, but I did it. I had two babies only 11 mos apart and my husband worked all day and I had no family to help me. You just DO IT. Kids arent gonna die while you have your head in the toilet.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

I am so sorry!!!! That is the worst ever. Is hubby too busy in the evenings as well? I mean if you can just survive the days, put a bouncy seat in the restroom with toys while you do your thing and when hubby gets home, hand him off! He will be ok in a playpen, on a blanket with toys and you resting near by or in an exersaucer, in his high chair with snacks etc. It's only till you feel better. Just make sure he is secure somewhere in eye/ear shot when you need to go. But really in the evening hand him off if you possibly can, you need to rest and recover. Can your husband handle dinner till you get better and help with some laundry? You need some back up here. Feel better soon!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Ha ! Don't get me started. This is a touchy subject , for me. I never get any extra help. I just have to make it work.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Appleton on

Oh C. - I wish I could come and take care of you and your baby while you are sick!!!

Don't worry about the housework, laundry, dishes, etc... it will still be there when you are feeling better. (easier said then done, I know)

Do you have any baby einstein videos? (do they still make those)That might keep your 6mo old busy for a little while..

Remember it will not last forever and you will soon be back to normal, but remember you need rest to get back there...

Take Care!!!!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

I suck it up because I never have help when I need it. Many a time I have been holding a baby on my lap while I'm puking into a trash can. :) Or been nursing while throwing up or sitting on the toilet.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Sorry this is so late- just saw it. Hope you're all better by now! Anyhow, just in case there's a next time, there's a great baby-sitting service my friend recommended to me called "The Educated Babysitter." They're in the area, all screened and available short-notice. You could call them and get them to come to the house to watch the baby while you're sick. Another idea, any stay at home mommy friends you could make a deal with (I'll help you in emergencies if you help me?) Always good to have back-up!



answers from Pittsburgh on

Ach....it's hard!

Hang in there as best as you can.
Can you get someone to help out for a bit?
Feel better soon!



answers from Richmond on

simple, you call your sister or your brother and say, look i cant stay out of the bathroom, can you HELP !!??
K. h.

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