What to Do for Older Child When New Baby Has Colic?

I agree with the other posters: find someone who can take your girl out and make her feel special. It's great that she wants to help. Or find an experienced baby nurse who can handle taking a four-hour shift with a colicky boy. (I did this as a nanny-- took the squawky baby while Mama spent time with the older one. I did a lot of walks with a newborn in the bjorn so mom and the older child could get a nap, too.)

The colicky baby is inconsolable and crying all the time. The newborn will keep crying regardless of all that you do to try to help. Tend to his needs, then strap him to your chest/ put him in the carseat or swing/ or stroller and take the crying little one along with you while you do something special with the older one. Resign yourself to the fact that the colicky one will be crying till he grows out of it and there is little you can do to change that, then treat him like you would a normal newborn.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Are there grandparents or other relatives nearby who can take her out peridocially? Is there a teenager who can be a mother's helper? I had two colicky infants. My oldest was 3 when his brother was born. My in-laws took my older son on outings to the Zoo, Children's Museum, etc. In the evening we tried to play a one-on-one defense, taking turns with each kid. Another thought, is she old enough for preschool or a "Mom's Day Out" program where she can spend some time with other kids her age? Good luck! It wasn't easy because I was exhausted and the baby had a very irregular sleeping schedule, but when the baby napped I made an effort to read to my older son or play simple games with him. I also carried the baby around in a sling or baby carrier so I could have my hands free.

I feel for you. I went thru that with my 2nd and I remember to this day crying myself because at one point I felt so bad that he was being ignored for a better part of the day while his sister cried uncontrollably. Ugh! Hang in there. I just tried to give him extra time and attention when the baby was sleeping (which was rare LOL) and treats. His sister would sleep in the car so we would do car rides and stop and get ice cream at McDonalds drive thru. If Dad can come home a little early so you can give the baby to him and take a walk or go to the park with your oldest is good too. It's only temporary!

Both my kids had colic so I feel your pain. My kids colic was mostly at night and not so much during the day. My husband and I discussed ahead of time what we would do if it happened again and what we would do with our older daughter to make her feel included because the baby was getting so much attention. He would and still does take her for daddy days on the weekend where they do something special together. During the week I would put the baby in a carrier (Ergo or sling) and do whatever I needed with older daughter. Of course there were times where she had to go play by herself or whatever, ask a million questions on why the baby was crying but she did really well in the end. As long as you continue to show her that you love her and that she is just as important she will do great. Good luck and I hope the colic ends soon!

Have someone keep the baby while you have some girl time. My first had it, and trust me, YOU need the break as well. Eventually, you will both get used to the crying and go on with business as usual.

Get a relative to baby sit your newborn every so often so you and your daughter can do something out together.