What to Do for 4Th Child's Birthday??

1st birthay is for the family.

Pick a place and get a membership, IE the zoo for a year or two and for donations towards that. The zoo by us, the memberships help the animals. If someone is really stuck on getting a gift, tell them small.

Congratulations.

How about letting people give him gifts and you get rid of some of the old toys. You could donate them and let this child be celebrated by the people in his life that want to give him presents.

Or only ask for books. Again the books that you all have that are distressed or not really enjoyed, donate them. Good time to clean out some of the things they just never even consider playing with.

4 children? You are amazing. I am exhausted with one child and she is now an adult.

Well, you could always donate old toys and make room for new ones.

I was a 4th child (out of 13... Lol.) I know how incredibly annoying it is to only get hand-me-downs. I'm sure, that at one, he really couldn't care less about 'new' toys... But if people (like your MIL) WANT to bring him gifts, I certainly wouldn't stop them. Just cull out the other toys.

How about a book exchange? Each guest brings an appropriate book (maybe suggest Caldecott winner or something), unlabled but wrapped. At the end of the party, each child takes home a DIFFERENT book than the one they brought. Or ask them to bring him books for his own library.

Since he is 1, most of his guests will be family or good friends, I assume. So tell them that your dear child has so many things, but would appreciate an outing. What is good for a 1 yr old in your area? And you can always allow MIL a free pass in spoiling her grandkid. I kind of overlook Grandma when I give out directives to other people.

Oh I think you should throw a big celebration! He is turning one year old! That is a huge milestone. Even though he is your 4th child. I know, i have three of them! Make it special for him and let him enjoy his day. That is what birthdays are all about, right! I think you should let people bring gifts for him. I dont see it as people being self absorbed and doing what they want, i see it as it is the right thing to do at birthday parties. You get invited to celebrate one's birthday, you bring a gift. It is what people have been doing for years! Happy Birthday to the birthday boy! Cheers!

Well, let MIL give gifts, because she's the grandma. But he's 1. He's not going to care or know that he didn't get a buttload of toys. There is no "it's not fair" about it. He's ONE. If he were 3, 4, 5 where he would actually notice or care, that's different.

Have it be a gifts for charity, or a family event or whatever, but say specifically to MIL - "Of COURSE you can get him a few gifts, your his grandma!" But also plant the seeds for "EXPERIENCE" gifts as well, a kid isn't going to remember toys much as he grows older, but the special trip to the zoo with JUST HIM when he's 4 or older is going to be a treasured memory.

People get all bent out of shape at no gift parties. (Event though the party isn't about them at all, still people like to dictate things.) You can request no gifts, but people will bring them. The people that honor your request, will feel very awkward.

We went to a really fun party, that collected gifts for a local animal shelter. It was a dig themed party and they requested blankets, toys, and food. I loved it, but people still showed up with toys and no items for the animal shelter.

The fact is, people are self absorbed and do what they want. Many people don't care about what you request. The simply do what they are comfortable with or are used to. I would just have the party and accept the gifts. Donate what you don't want or need.

My third boy just celebrated his first birthday a few months ago, so I hear ya' on the "no clothes or toys, please!" All our first birthday celebrations were with family only (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents of my boys) so I didn't feel weird having a list for them and explaining the situation. We asked for things the whole family would enjoy, like memberships to the zoo, children's museum, botanical garden, etc. as well as gift cards, diapers and wipes. Some family still chose to get him a little something "fun" which was fine; we still managed not to have a houseful of more "stuff" from the celebration. Hope this was helpful, and happy birthday to your little guy!

I'm with your mother-in-law. Not fair to your son.
It's HIS birthday.
What child wouldn't expect a gift on his birthday.
I'm with another poster. Let ppl bring gifts then go through his old toys
donating things you know he doesn't play with or miss. Never get rid of
favorite toys. It's rough for the child.

Well I agree that it's fun for kids to get presents on their birthday, etc...but he's 1. He truly won't really know if he gets presents or not for this birthday so I don't think you're off the wall for considering a no-present "rule". But, generally people aren't comfortable with that and will buy him something anyway...So, I would say clean out as many toys as possible and give to charity and then request things like gift cards for experiences and hopefully you'll get some of that. You could also request maybe like a Halloween costume or something or ask for gift cards so you can buy things when he needs them.

This may not help for a 1 yr old, but when my parent asked me what the kids wanted for their birthdays, I panicked and said "Lord help us, not more stuff!" Our house is covered with too much stuff, most of gifts from well meaning family members. This year, my parents took the kids to a water park instead.

I found the charity gift idea still annoys some people who really enjoy shopping for kids. You can't demand what they get, but you can let it be known through the grapevine what will be most appreciated, books, donations to a college fund, maybe baby gymnastics classes. Then do a toy exchange. Whatever baby gets, donate something comparable to goodwill.

Just because he's the 4th doesn't mean he should occasionally get something new that is just for him.

If you already have too many old toys, perhaps you might consider donating THOSE to make room for a few new ones.

What your Mother in Law REALLY means is it isn't fair to HER to have a no gift party.

Have a no "gifts from friends" party if you like but Grandma gets to spoil him!

What I've seen people do is throw no-gift parties, but if someone reeeeeally wants to give a gift, they just say "If you'd really like to give something, sure." And then thank them graciously. That way, the parents get to set the agenda, but no one gets bent out of shape.

I do think, though, that if you don't want clutter, give everyone else the "gift" of not having to bring anything. Or make it a potluck and have them bring food.

Oh, and I personally am not a fan of big parties for one-year-olds. They just get overwhelmed. Save your party-throwing (and gift-giving) fire for when he'll really enjoy it.

recordable children's books. Amazaon has them for really inexpensive and if each person does this they can be a great gift to share with the ENTIRE family. This way its personal too

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recordable children's books. Amazaon has them for really inexpensive and if each person does this they can be a great gift to share with the ENTIRE family. This way its personal too

Once my son got to be that age, everyone just brought money. that always fits. I stuck it into an account.

I think grandma should give a gift that does not take up space (one year or one month membership to a mommy and me class for example).

The charity idea is a nice idea, yet never really works out. People now feel obligated to a monitory gift and a real gift for the child.

Just graciously accept the gifts and if there is a gift receipt return what you do not need. Anything you do not need and no gift receipt you can donate.