What to Call a Grandparent

I have heard G-paw and G-maw from kids in my class...this might be a easy transition/compromise/peace-keeper.

Kudos, for trying to work it out!

My MIL wanted to be called ma'ma which annoyed me because it was way too close to M. so I trained my daughter to say meemaw instead and that is what she calls her now. My MIL just thought it was something my daughter thought up....

Maybe one of them could be called Papi? (Pa-pee) It's a more affectionate term than papa.

I would take everybody's needs into consideration and try to come up with a solution. It's hard, though.

My MIL is Nonna, and my FIL (who passed) is Papa. I don't really like the terms "grandma" and "grandpa" so much, and Nonna really wanted to be called the Italian word for Grandma. So, Nonna it is. Sometimes my daughter calls her "Nonni" as a more affectionate term. She would most likely call Papa "Papi" if he were here.

Teri

Tell your husband to put on his big girl panties and get over himself (geesh.)

Tell your husband to grow up. There is only on "Dad" to his kids and that is him. And his actions towards his kids is more important than any title. So if he wants to be the shining star then act like one instead of a spoiled child who didn't get his way. How can Pawpaw and Daddy get confused anyways?
We have a pawpaw, grandpa snyder, pawpaw with the tractor, nanny, nana, mimi, mawmaw, maamaw, and an abuela. Tell him to get over it and be thankful there are granparents to love and cherish his children.
L.

Sorry, but your husband is being a "selfish jerk." Traditionally it is the Grandparent's choice to determine WHAT they will be called. My daughter has: Granny and PawPaw, Gandpa(last name) and Grammy, and Grandpa(last name) and Grandma.

Assure your husband that Papa and PawPaw sound nothing alike and have two totally different meanings. As for "disrespecting your husband."
You and your husband are in a partnership. This means there is a two way street. By asking your to go against your FATHER'S wishes, your HUSBAND is disrespecting YOU. Partnerships are build on mutual respect NOT fear.

Seriously, your husband needs to get a grip. Dad...Papaw...I'm just not getting how that can be confusing to a child. She will know EXACTLY which one is which. Why all the insecurity?
Good luck!

Unless your 15 months old (or your husband) was raised on Little House on the Prairie, I think Papaw is great! No one these days calls their dad Papa, its Daddy which isn't even close to it.
I believe its the Grandparents right to be called what they want.
I think your husband needs to get over it...not to put too fine of a point on it. He's the daddy, that isn't going to change, so he needs to get over his insecurities about it and move on with being the dad he apparently is.

It may not seem like a big deal to anyone -- except your husband. And you have to remember that he is your husband first. You two must work this out to make sure there isn't something else bothering him. It sounds like a reasonable calm talk with your father might sort it out without any hurt feelings.

Clearly you need to keep the peace in your home, and I don't know your husband's temperament, so I am just speaking from first impressions. Being the mother of a 15 month old, it seems to me like your hubby is selling your daughter's intelligence short. I am "mama" and my mom is "mimi". That's a heckofalot closer than papaw & daddy, and no worse than papa and pawpaw. If you think for one second my daughter doesn't know the difference in "mama" & "mimi" you are sorely mistaken. Just from first impressions it sounds like your hubby is either insecure in his role, threatened by your dad, or maybe he just needs to spend more one-on-one time with your daughter (if he thinks she'll get confused then he must not know what's going on in her fast-growing, brilliant little mind). She will have absolutely no problem telling her daddy apart from every other man in her life. Hopefully you can find a way to reassure your husband. I wish there was a magic answer. One question- what do you call his dad? Grandpa is not far off from Papaw. There aren't many options that don't have some reference to father, dad or papa because it refers to mother's father or father's father. You guys are so blessed to have a papaw. If my dad were living I'd be just fine if our daughter called him mama! Grandparents are golden & should be treasured- I hope you can convince your hubby to get over it. Good luck in this dilema.

we ended up with 2 papa's by default in our family, so one became Papa Dave and the other Papa Jim. Maybe something like that could work for your dad? Is your husband wanting to be called Papa? COuld your dad maybe (in front of your husband at least) be referred to as Grand Papa? I can see what an awkward position this is for you. Sorry. My mom was called mouse by my nephew and I hated that, so my daughter calls her grandma- it is weird, but we all know who we are talking about and it works for us.

We are having a little disagremeent about the same thing. Only we don't want my father in-law to be Papaw. He started as Grandpa then when my child was almost 2 and already saying grandpa, he decided he wanted to be Papaw. My child is the oldest grandchild followed by a cousin 4 months younger. Well, said cousins mother(the golden child in my husbands family) jumped at it. Now my child and the following cousins don't use the same grandfather name. We say Grandpa and they say Papaw. Ehhhh I moved away from hillbillies for a reason. Strangly my husband and his family are all city people. I don't know why they want to sound uneducated and redneck. It's not even Papa but Papaw, but they say it papawl. Real southern like. Drives me nuts. We tried to resolve the issue by sending a polite e-mail to my mother in. But no the very next birthday card was signed Grandma and Papaw. I don't know where to go from here. I only that my children are NOT going to say it.

let your daughter decide on what she wants to call her granddaddy. my daughter called my daddy granddaddy. i have friends that their children call their grandfathers: grandfather, poppy, pop, papa first name, dudah (yep dudah)... your husband needs to grow up.

You've got some good responses.... as for your child... maybe you could change it up a little. My kids call my dad "papa" and my mom "noni" I agree that your daughter KNOWS who's dad.... what does she call him? Daddy or papa? As for YOU, you shouldn't change how you address your dad. If you've always called your dad "pawpaw" then you continue to do so. It's very unfair and controlling for him to expect you change how you address YOUR FATHER because of his insecurity. Me personally, I would stand my ground on what I call MY DAD.

I didn't read all the responses, so I apologize if I'm repeating something, and also if my response is off base. Question - is this the first time your husband has had such a reaction/attitude, or is this part of a pattern? His reaction is not really appropriate. Your daughter know's he is her dad, and that your father is not. Papa and Papaw are different. And for him to be threated by YOU calling YOUR dad that name is NOT normal.

When I read your post, alarm bells went off in my head re. your husband's attitude and behaviour. Please think about this seriously. This kind of controlling attitude can get out of hand and spread to all aspects of your life, and can eventually become violent - a situation you and your daughter do NOT need to be in.

I don't know the best way to deal with it, but if he loves you, you can nip this in the bud. He IS being a selfish jerk. A compromise could be your dad calling himself Gampaw to your daughter - easier to change that; but if your husband STILL has a problem with what you call your dad and won't let it go, GET OUT NOW.

Good luck and take care.

Is there another issue between your husband and your dad that may be causing this to become an issue?

Would your dad switch from papaw to poppy? My dad was going to be called papa, but decided on poppy because he thought papa was more of a "father" term.

Dear R.,
Good morning, I sorry but your husband needs to grow up a bit. Sounds like it is all about him. The child should be able to call his grandparent what he wants. I'm a great grandma.My oldest great grandson calls me granny Jellybean. I don't have a problem with that he is fixing to be 14 Most of his mom's friends call me that also.This isn't about him but you child.
Good luck and have a blessed day.
J. G

My kids call my parents Ma & Pa. My daughter heard me call my mother Ma so she picked that up on her own, and Pa just kind of happened. We orginally wanted them to call them Grammy & Grampy but they chose it on their own. When we were kids both of my grandfather's were Poppie and grandmothers were Grandma. Now my kids call my husband's dad grandpa.

I tend to lean toward agreeing with Heather's post. It might help a lot to get to the bottom of "why". If that doesn't work, sit down with your dad, let him know the name makes your husband uncomfortable and see where you can go from there. Maybe it's not a big deal for your dad and you can come up with an alternative, and if you approach it thoughtfully and in a "problem solving" attitude nobody needs to look like a selfish jerk. Family dynamics are tough, I know. I hope this all works out for you!

My Grandpa has ALWAYS gone by the name Papaw and my mother also refers to him as "papaw". It's never made my children look at their father as any different or get confused with the names. Daddy is Daddy and Papaw is Papaw. It's no big deal and hubby just needs more time to get used to it. I just don't see how thats going to cause any confusion in your child. Does your husband want your daughter to call him papa? Even if he did, children do not get confused by who is who over a simple name! Good luck with this but I say stick with calling your dad Papaw and tell your hubby to stop sweating the small stuff in life! : )
Take care.

I agree with the mom who said she just taught her daughter to say something different when he wasn't around.

My daddy was "Grandpa" from the time I got prego. He died when my son was 11 months old, and for some reason my mom decided to change it to Papa. That would have been fine except that we already had 3 Papa, Papaw, and Poppas in our family -- talk about confusing!

I just made sure when I talked about my dad and we looked at pics that I called him Grandpa and that's what my son picked up on.

It seems that your husband is the only one being a selfish jerk here, mainly because he is seeking to change a family tradition in favor of his misguided beliefs. "PaPaw" is really not close enough to "PaPa" to throw up such a stink. It really sounds to me like your husband is just be insecure, especially if he considers this a "respect " issue. If that is so, how come he cannot see that the elder of the two (your father) also deserves repect and if you "respect" your husband's insensitive, and therefore disrespectful wishes that YOU are going to be considered disrespectful yourself. This tells me this IS NOT a "respect" issue but rather a power play he feels necessary to perform against your father.

Free advice is worth what you paid for it but I would tell my husband that if he wants a truly respectful wife that you and he as a couple would be better off respecting the elders in the family first. With all due repect, sister, you've got a sticky situation. Good luck!

I was surprised to read your entry because my Dad is "PaPaw" and so was his Grandfather! I didn't think that was too popular of a name. My husband wasn't too fond of the name at first either but only because he had never heard of it and thought it was a silly word. But we all love the fact that we are keeping family history alive by calling him PaPaw. My son calls my husband "Dada" or "Daddy" so there is absolutely no confusion. Maybe you could explain the importance of family history to your husband he would be ok with the name. On a side note a fabulous book about how to meet your husband's need for respect is called Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

Could there be a cultural difference or maybe your husband would have preferred the grandfather to use the name he used for his own grandfather? Is his father still living? I do agree with the postings that encourage you to really find the root cause of his desire to reserve any name that "sounds like" papa to be used only in reference to himself, you never know what untold pain he may be masking with this issue, try to understand where he is coming from before you label him controlling or unreasonable. Good luck and hugs to you for trying to resolve this with understanding and love.

I read most of your responses and I am not sure who I agree with ;-) On one hand I do think your husband is being a little silly since they seem different to me. But on the other hand I can sympathize with your husband. It isn’t quite on point but when my daughter was born I was really annoyed by what my In laws called my daughter. I am Caucasian and my husband is Mexican. It is apparently common in his culture to call little girls things like “little mama” or “mama” for short. And my mother in law called my daughter “mama” all the time. It drove me NUTS!!! I felt like I was my daughter’s mama and if my daughter was being called mama then she would get confused and not know who was the mama – me or her. When I first told my husband he told me I was being overly sensitive and ridiculous – this was something that everyone in his family had done for years. Maybe I was being silly---but it still bothered me. Regardless – he told me that I was his top priority. He thought it was silly but out of respect for me and my feelings he would take care of it. He had a long talk with his mom and just told her that it upset me and not to do it. She probably thought I was being silly too but she understood that as a new mother I felt threatened by it and she backed off. I know the situation isn’t the same but the moral is – I suggest you step back and really try to find some middle ground. At the end of the day, he is your husband and you need to figure out something that will work for both of you. All of us feel insecure about something and this is something that your husband obviously feels insecure about. Backing him up on this will probably make him feel better not only about being a father but also that you are always supporting him. I know my husband backing me –regardless of how silly – made me feel like we were a team and that he was always on my side.

I did not read the other 40 plus replies but I think your husband is being overly sensitive to the point of being childish. There have been PawPaw's,grandfathers,for as long as I can remember and I am almost 40 yrs old! I would never think of it as meaning Father or Dad. Plus,your daughter is 15 mos old and your Dad has been called PawPaw for that long already. It would be rude to tell him after all this time that yall were going to call him something else. You have to ask yourself why your husband is making such a big deal about this?? Its not like the baby isn't gonna know who is Daddy and who Granfather,Papa,PawPaw,Grandpa or whatever they choose to call him. Best wishes. Its too bad you are being made to be stuck in the middle.

You and the other adults in your family shoud continue to call your father Dad--or whatever you called him before he had grandchildren. He is only
Pawpaw to the grandchildren.
Grandchildren will usually call grandparents sonething they come up with. Maybe Pawpaw because that is what she hears or maybe her own name for him.
God bless.

Hi R.-My Husband and I have 3 year old boys and they both call my husband PaPa and Daddy. They call my dad the Italian word for Grandpa. My kids were my parents first grandchildren as well. My parents "picked" what names they wanted to be called by my children. I really think your husband is not being fair to you by expecting you to possibly hurt your parents feelings or cause a tiff with your family. Why does it matter??? When my kids call my husband PaPa, people say, "Oh that's cute, that's what we call my grandfather." How ironic your husband thinks it sounds to much like what he should be called when everyone that hears my kids say it, think we are talking about my dad (their grandfather). I know this sounds like I'm preaching, but really in the whole scheme of things, where does this rank in importance??? I personally would be upset with husband if it did anything to disrespect my family...including something like this!

It seems the real question here is what causes your husband to feel so insufficient and ineffective as a father that a name could endanger his position. Further, what causes your husband to believe that, of all the responsibilities he has as a father, that the name of your father is a priority. Something is out of whack here and I think its your husband.

I think your husband is acting like a baby. He is not only putting you in an awkward position, but making a big deal over nothing. He sounds pretty controlling. Has your dad been Papaw for a long time or is this the first grandchild? If your husband refuses to quit being selfish, then maybe your dad would be willing to change, if this is a new name. I would be honest with him. If your dad has been Papaw to all the grandkids and has been called this for many years, I would tell my husband that he'll have to get over it and leave it at that. Just my opinion.

Gosh, that is a very tough situation. My kids call my dad "papa". I wasn't crazy about it; however, I feel the same as you that grandparents should be able to pick their name. The only situation that you have here is the fact that your husband is very opposed to it b/c he wants to make sure he has the "dad" title and causing a rift. Unless you are able to put your husband more at ease about the fact that "papa" and "papaw" are very common and have nothting to do with dad. And the fact that some kids call their grandma "momom". Just something kids pick up on and has nothing to do with the title. In fact, my little girl called my mom "mom" for the longest time b/c that is what I called her. The only other suggestion that I would have if your husband just won't budge to open up the discussion with your parents. I am sure that they do not want you to have a rift in your marriage and apparently this is something that your husband feels strongly about. I had a similar situation with my in-laws where they wanted to call my daughter Ellie (short for Elizabeth). I sternly opposed the idea and said that we are calling her Elizabeth. My husband thought that I was crazy; however, respected my wishes and supported. A little different situation b/c it is my child's name; however, just wanted to share. Good luck!!

Is your husband from a hispanic family....I can see where that would be an issue. Papa is what is frequently used in that culture. Here are some names we use:

Pops
Grandpap
we also have a Papa
Grandpa

Hope that helps.

First to your hubby, I think at 15 months, it's a bit late in the game to decide he doesn't like the Papaw name, but that being said, why not be honest? Just tell your family your hubby's feelings, I'm sure they would want to make him comfortable and choose a name he can enjoy too. If you and hubby call your dad one thing and everyone else calls him Papaw, the kid will end up deciding what to call him. But better for everyone to be on the same page.

You got a lot of responses!

1-kids will make up their own name 9 times out of 10. My mom wanted to be 'nana' and then she changed it to 'Gran'. When my daughter started to talk, she started calling my mom 'Nina' which is funny because my moms name is Nita so I always think she was trying to say her real name. Funny!

2- For sure talk to your hubby about the root problem. And maybe he is just really sensitive about that. Seems like my husband went through a little bit of that with something my dad had picked...can't remember. And if he just can't get over it...you might just have to talk to your family and tell them your hubbies feelings. Just like you wouldn't want your kid calling a grandma some form of 'mom'.

3-you might work in secret with your daughter on something
that will be a compromise between the two...like peepaw or something. If you could make it sound different enough to satisfy your hubby yet somewhat close to what your dad is trying to get her to say...it would make your world so much easier! lol.

Good luck!

Why is your husband being so difficult. the problem here is that you have been caught between a rock and a hard place. Once you tell your parents your husband's wishes, they will never look at him the same. Even in smiles, there will be a distance. Why did he not say it before now? Give him some good loving and explain to him again why you should not rock the boat and put you in this awkward position. The minute your child grows a tiddy bit, she will know the difference between paw and pa.
Bribe him. If not, then you just have to tell your parents. sad.

What does your daughter currently call your husband? If she doesn't call him "papa" why would it matter. She knows who her dad is and who her grandpa is. No matter what other people call him, she is going to call him whatever she likes.

My kids call my dad papa and my nieces use to call my dad papa and then one day decided to start calling him grandpa so you never know what will "stick".

My mother in law occasionally refers to her husband as grandpop but my oldest 3 1/2 still calls him papa because that is what she likes to call him and always has.

Good luck, I know it can be tricky. It sounds like there is also a cultural issue behind all of this as well?

R.,

I know this is a serious issue with you and your husband, but I have to admit, I was laughing when I read your post, so thank you for that! If this is the only "problem" that is going on in you and your husband lives, then you are extremely lucky and blessed!!! Your husband is behaving like a great big child and needs a MAJOR time out!!! Since when is "Papaw" too close to Daddy or Dada??????? It doesn't even begin with the same letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Papa or Papaw is a very common name for the grandfather!!! Our children call my inlaws Nanee and Papa. Papa has and will always be associated with Grandpa. Papa or Papaw is grandpa, and Daddy or Dada is the father!!!!! Your husband is super sensitive and his inappropriate behavior must stop now. Have him read these posts and hopefully something in his brain will click that he is being ridiculous (no offense).

Best wishes to your and your family, and I only hope that you only have such "problems" throughout your life!!

Your husband seems to have major issues about this. He needs to get over it and realize it doesn't matter what your daughter calls other men as long as she feels safe and loved by him.

Papa and Papaw do not sound alike - try spelling it like Pawpaw (it doesn't even resemble papa). Your husband is being controlling. Has he done other things like this? You call 'your' dad whatever you want to call him. He was around before your husband. Do not disrespect yourself by telling your family you will be using another name. They will be mystified by the fact that your husband is insecure and threatened by something as simple as a name. He should be the one asking why he is so threatened by the name, not you asking how you should approach this.

If he's established the name Papaw for 15 months now then that's his name. Your husband is dad or daddy. My kids call my dad Papa and their dad daddy. Usually that's the way it is. I think your husband might be being overly sensitive and probably there are some other issues bothering him and he's focusing on that. You just aren't mean to the grandparents. They raised you! They earned the right to be called whatever they want. Good luck dealing with your hubby, but since when is 'daddy' not enough.......honestly it's the sweetest thing you'll hear your child say, besides 'mommy'! Good luck!

I guess you could just call him Dad and when your daughter goes to calling her PaPaw - Dad maybe your husband will agree that PaPaw isn't as close to papa or Dad as he thought. Good Luck!

Tell your husband to grow up and get over himself. You have known your father a lot longer than you have known him. It sounds like a family tradition that is special to your father (seeing as how you called HIS father Papaw. You are right, R., grandparents should be able to call themselves anything they want.

Is your daughter going to call your husband papa or dad or daddy? You could always tell your husband something like, "well, he's old and he'll be gone, so you won't have to hear it......" I know that's sort of harsh, but I think he's being childish and selfish.

Listen, I come from a LONG LINE of lots of relatives. We had parents and step-parents; we had memaws & peepaws and maamaws & papaws and momos & popos and mamas & papas and you know what? We had more trouble keeping everybody straight than the kids. They certainly knew who was who and not one of them ever thought papaw was Daddy .....

I'm sorry, he needs to back off. I hope the fact that he and your father have a good relationship means enough to him to just let this go. This isn't about disrespecting HIM. Your daughter knows who her daddy is and it doesn't matter what she calls her grandpa, it's not going make a difference.

I don't think he should put you in that position - you shouldn't have to choose .... I hope he will come to his senses! And I hope he will consider your father's feelings above his own. I don't understand his issue with it - he must feel awfully insecure for some reason. I personally don't think Papaw is anything like dad or papa. DUH!

Don't give up - don't give in. If you feel strongly

You hang in there. Don't compromise what you know is right. Yes, your dad would probably come up with something else, but why would you want to put this gentle man in that position? And, I can't believe your husband would even think about it. Because if he pursues that, it is going affect their relationship - AND YOURS. If he DOES pursue that, you need to make HIM tell your dad...man-to-man. Don't you dare rescue him and make some excuse - promise me! If you do that, you're opening up your whole life and future for junk like this.

You guys can grow thru this. It may be a sensitive issue for him.....guys have a lot of sensitivity issues, but that doesn't mean their wives/mothers/daughters need to enable them & rescue them & give in to them just so they get their way. There's a time to do the right thing and a time to do things right. This is one of those.

Good luck!

C.

The funny thing about kids, is they may call them something different then what we want them to. My mother is Nana to 6 of her Grandchildren and Grandma to one. My Father in Law is Pops to most, but Grandpa to some. Let the kids decide and maybe your husband will be ok with that. Just make sure he knows a name is not the most important part of a relationship!

I'm sorry, but you're married to your husband. You need to respect his wishes on this. The name thing does not go away. It will remain a bone of contention because you sided with your extended family rather than with you husband. You should work together and pick something new.
I'm old fashioned I guess because my kids grandparents are grandma and grandpa on both sides. I've personally never liked all the made up names for grandparents. But those are my feelings and you don't have to agree with them.

You need to get to the specific root as to why your husband is upset about this. His excuse is saying that it sounds to much like Papa and Dad. Well, So what! That is also a very vague excuse. Is he somehow threatned that your daughter will reject him and choose Papaw as her father? Does he have personal issues with your dad in other areas?

You need to sit down and have a discussion with him when it is not an immediate issue when he will have his defenses up. (If you try to confront the problem when it actually arrises he will stick to his guns and be defensive.) If you ask him enough questions about the matter he might just realize himself that he is being irrational. He may not admit it at the time because he might even be embarrassed that he was so silly about such a non issue.

It is an entirely normal thing for children to call grandparents Papaw, Papa, Peepaw etc. I called all my grandpas "Papa" and my son now calls my dad Papa. It is a short form of grand'pa'. It in no way comes from Father or Dad.

You just can't change the name your dad goes by if that is what everyone is comfortable with and you shouldn't have to. This will also only confuse your daughter. No matter what you call him your daughter will listen to the majority and call him what she hears everyone else saying anyway.

Good luck with everything! Let us know how it turns out.
B.

I disagree with just about everyone who posted before me. I would suggest talking to your husband. Don't tell him to grow up and get over it! See why it bothers him so much and try to respect his wishes. Remember, you're married to HIM, not the rest of your family. Once you've gotten his point of view, if you do decide to change what your daughter calls your dad, talk to the rest of the family and let them know that you and your husband feel that "x" is a better name. No need to go into details. If they don't respect you for making a joint decision with your husband, their priorities are out of line, not your husband's!

Marriage is about respecting your husband and his wishes (and he, you and yours) so try to come to an agreement. Sometimes one of you has to be willing to back down during a disagreement to make things go smoothly.

Just so you know, the cousins all call my husband's parents MeMaw and PePaw. Neither my husband nor I like those names so we talked to his parents and asked what they wanted to be called. They didn't care. So, we started using Grandma & Grandpa (and told them that). It's taken some adjusting, but no one really cares. We do have to remind my sisters-in-law that they are Grandma & Grandpa, but they respect our wishes.

Same goes for what my daughter calls my husband. He wanted to be Papa so we've had to remind people everywhere that he's Papa, but they all respect our wishes.

I hope this helps.

My son calls my dad Poppi and my husband daddy. I think you should explain to your family that it is making your husband upset. They will probably be more understanding. Marriage and having in laws is all about compromise. Your family needs to understand that it is bothering him and respect that.

My sister and I have always referred to my parents as Grandma and Grandpa to our kids. My sister's daughter is now old enough to start talking and calls my dad papaw. Kids are going to say what is easy for them to say at such a young age. Grandpa is a hard word to say for such young kids and papaw is much easier.

My husband's father has been affectionately known at Papaw since becoming a grandparent 34 years ago. He is known as that to his great-grandchildren as well. His kids call him Paw or Daddy.

Before her death, his mother was Mamaw and still is known as that. Her kids call her Mom or Mommy and one grandchild that she raised calls her Mommy as well.

My mother is Nana by her own choice to her grandkids and great-grandkids.

I have two daughters and two granddaughters. The older daughter called me Mama when she was younger. The younger always called me Mom. Now they both call me Mom. Our older granddaughter set the precedent for my grandnaming when she referred to me first as Amma. My husband is Diddad. He has been know as Daddy or Dad by his daughters.

We just figured we'd go along with anything the kids came up with on their own.

To me and my brothers, our maternal grandparents were known by their first names. That was a decision they made when they had children and it continued with the grandchildren. We didn't really know our paternal grandparents. My grandmother died when my dad was 12 and his father remarried. We all just called her by her first name and his dad was known as Grandfather Shrock.

If it is your father and your husband having naming issues, perhaps they should sit down and talk about it and see if they can reach a compromise. The child is not going to confuse her dad for her granddad, and Papa and Papaw sound distinctly different.

If it were my husband, I'd tell him to get over it, but that's my husband. He's stubborn and he'd do whatever he wanted. He grew up being called by his middle name as his brother also were. When he went to college, he became known by his first name. I call him by his first name. I do not like his middle name, but I use both names at times when referring to him to his family or when I feel like it. Mostly I call him by his first name and sometimes by his initials. For the first 20 years or so, we mostly called each other by pet names that are totally unrelated to our given names.

Come to think of it, we also had pet names for our kids and grandkids. My name never lended itself to a nickname, so when I named my kids, I made sure to give them names that lended themselves to nicknames. That way they can use their full name when being formal and their nicknames more casually, but every now and then they are still Katie Tomatie and Boo.

I think that your husband has some issues if he is making a big deal about what to call a grandparent. I have never heard of this before. Usually grandparents pick the name. Tell your husband to be grateful that your child has loving grandparents and to find something more important to gripe about.

I'm kinda similar. My daughter is a 3 y/o only grandchild. My mother chose "Mimi", and I heard her answer the question of how she chose that as "I wanted Mommy but someone else already chose that... so I chose the closest name I could think of". I was too shocked to say anything in that group setting (or afterwards!), and also know the slightest bit of 'correcting' my mother sends her into not speaking to someone (even her own daughter or mother or closest friend for months or years) so I just let it go. She lives over 2 hours away and does not see her grandchild but every couple of months. So I can sympathize with your husband. Bothersome, but I did not want to ruffle any feathers and tend to pick and choose the battles, so I just let her continue with that name she chose. Your child will KNOW who Daddy is; that's what matters. :)

I had a Momo and Popo. Or momos and popos and They are absolutely my favorite. The O at the end is pronounced with the O sound. MomO and PopO. When I have grandchildren I would like to be a Mom-O.

Sounds like to me that your husband has more of an issue with your dad personaly? Do they get along or has anything happened in the past where your dad may have made your husband mad? I have got a daughter who is 4 and my dad is "Papaw" too. I just can not believe that your husband is making such a big fit about it and not only that but he is putting a lot of stress in your marriage! If it is such a big deal to him.... Then HE needs to say something to your dad!! I can't believe your husband is being so immature about it. If he doesn't want to say anything to your dad, then I would just let it go and let him deal with it. If the situation doesn't get better, then there is a bigger problem that lies with your husband and your dad. In anyway shape or form....your husband should NOT perceive you as being disrespectful!!! You have NO control over what your dad wants to be called. As long as your husband is being called "DAD" then there shouldn't be an issue. I obviously don't know you, but the situation that your husband has you in, is VERY wrong. He needs to get a hold of him self and stand up and be a MAN, and quite hiding behind his wife!! If he has an issue with the family, he needs to talk it over with your dad or be a man and deal with it!!! I wish you good luck.... Hope things get better.

Dear R.:

My father also goes by Papaw to the grandchildren. It's never caused a problem with what our daughter calls her father. She calls her father either "Daddy" or "Dad."

Grandparents should get to chose their names with grandchildren. Your husband needs to relax. This is really NOT a big deal!

L. F., mom to an almost 14-year-old

Wow, if your husband is making such a huge issue over something as minor as this then you have much bigger problems looming than figuring out what to call a grandparent for goodness sake. Your husband sounds like an insensitive, selfish, immature and jealous jerk and there is no way that anyone is going to view him as anything but that as long as he makes this an this issue. R., this is your husband's issue--let HIM resolve it with your family and you stay out of it. I'll bet he won't approach them at all. What he should be focussing on is his own relationship with your daughter. It sounds like you as a couple need some professional counseling; however, I seriously doubt he would be willing to even entertain the idea. Good grief, let everyone call each other whatever they want and spent your time and effort on things that really matter such as how well are you treating each other, how can you be a better parent/partner, being kind and caring, helping others, protecting the environment so your daughter will have clean air and water when she is grown, teaching her good values, etc. etc. Just tell him that since this is his issue he should resolve it with your family and let you know the outcome. Whatever happens I promise you that this will pass.

Your husband is being a selfish jerk, tell him to grow up.

I truly hate to hear you dilemna. When I had my first daughter, I had the same concerns (who should be called what). I finally resolved that my child should call them by the names the older children were already using. How unfair is it to make your child different, especially among cousins, and other family? And the hurtful thing is what the other kids will say to your child about why she has to be different. Just remember it's all about the relationship you build with your child. She will always know the difference between her daddy and her pawpaw.

I think that you should let your daughter decide what she is going to call them. And if your dad wahts to be PaPaw he has earned it. We have adopted calling my parents what my niece and nephew call them which is papa and wawa.

It seems now that there are grandchildren my brother and I could call them mom and dad all day long and they ignore us but if we say papa and wawa they tend to pay better attention because they think that it is one of their grandbabies. :)

I have not read all of the responses to your issue; however, I must say that it seems your husband is being quite childish in this scenario. I am sure your daughter knows the difference between her father and her papaw. It is JUST a name and a cute one at that. My sons call one of their grandfathers PA because they cannot say grandpa. I think it is sweet. I think you should just tell your husband that he is acting like a child and go with the name that she knows and is easy for her.

Good luck!

We had a similar issue when my daughter was born. My mom wanted to be called Grammie and so did my husband's stepmother. My mom then got upset and wanted to be the only Grammie, but there were older cousins already calling his SM that- I wasn't sure what to do.
What we ended up doing was paying attention to the first words my daughter started to use, and going with that. She started out saying something like "gigi", and so we went with that and said that was a special name that she had thought of herself. So, now even though the other cousins still call her Grammie, my kids both call her Gigi, and that way the Grammie title is still available for my mother.
With your daughter being 15 months, you might be able to do something like that and let her choose what he is called. I find that people get their feelings hurt less when it's the precious grandbaby changing the name. :)

Dear R.,
In our family we also call our grandparents similar to papaw, except that we add their name to the word, so we say Paw'Frank or Paw'Ben and fathers are called dad or daddy, as long as there are distinguishing between who is the grandpa and who is the dad to your kids. This also helps identify which grandpa you are talking about. You may ask your husband why he is sensitive to this issue, maybe he can clarify what is going in his thoughts and his heart. lastly, ask how he will want to be called when he gets older and becomes a grandparent himself, maybe he might want to be called Papaw. Hope this comment helps.

I don't particularly like the names my parents chose for my daughter to call them, but since they will go by the names, I thought they should be the ones to pick whatever names they like best.

I don't know how to answer you other than to say I'm sorry you're having to go through something like this when you all should be enjoying your time together. Life is too short to get upset about something that seems so minor (in the grand scheme of things)!

If he wants to be called papa, then you should reserve that name for him alone and at 15 mo papaw = papa...you admit that if you were mama and a grandparent requested mamaw you would not like it, right? Because before you know it your child will be calling you and your grandmother mama.

On the other hand, if he wants to be called dada & grandparent wants to be called papaw, they are so different in sound that he has no good argument.

Papaw is a very common name for Grandfather.

I though don't believe that the name is the issue. There seems to be an underlying problem with your husband, maybe a control issue? You did mention he felt it is too close to his name.. which I don't think so..

I had no control over what was determined for my parents and inlaws and I believe that is the norm.. I believe you need to seriously talk to him and let him know you don't want to cause a problem and tell him that most grandfathers in Texas are Pawpa.. My dad was Pawpa D ( he has passed) and my step dad is Pawpaw. Both of my grandfathers were Pawpa's as well...

Although it is more than a decade away, I want to Nena or Nina... and I hope my son in law or daughter in law to be won't take that from me.