What Time Does Your Family Eat Thanksgiving Meal?

Updated on November 10, 2011
C.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
27 answers

Hi,
I am just wondering what time you have your Thanksgiving meal. The reason I ask is because year after year both my family and my husband's family seem to eat at 2 or 3:00. Why doesn't anyone eat at 5:00 like a normal day I wonder? Or maybe we are the only ones who do this. Inevitably one of our families gets mad because we either leave too soon to get to the other household or we arrive too late to share the meal with them. It's like we are expected to eat twice within an hour. One year we had the nerve to ask my MIL if she'd be interested in changing the day to Friday for the meal, and she hit the roof. We drive 350 miles to get to "the homeland" and stay at my parents' house. That particular year we drove on TG day, and had to go to both families houses since nobody can budge.

Can you tell I'm bitter?

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So What Happened?

Thanks. I'm enjoying everyone's stories. I would love to host at our home, but that is a whole other story. Let's just say that, according to our families, I-94 only goes in one direction (the direction we're driving in).

Featured Answers

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

We always "say" we're going to eat around 3, but it ends up being around 4 :0) I personally like eating earlier so I can veg the rest of the day~

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

We don't eat that late because that's usually the only meal we have. I like eating earlier then eating left overs later that day.

1 mom found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Ug - I really dont' like when people miss the total point of something - Thanksgiving is about GIVING and being with family/friends, NOT about strict guideline schedules and being unflexable! I'm sorry for you :(
We shoot to eat at about 2pm but it never usually happens until about 3pm!! If someone couldn't make it unitl 4pm, then we'd wait for them. Or if they said 'go ahead and eat without me and I'll eat when I get there" then we'd do that.

1 mom found this helpful

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C.M.

answers from Johnson City on

Whem my brother and I both moved out of the house, we moved pretty far away. My Mom adopted the theory of having holidays whenever we could make it home. We have had Thanksgiving in Oct, Christmas in Jan, etc. It shouldn't matter so much to either of them what day or time you have dinner. It should matter that everyone gets to be together and have a good time.

GL, I know it can be super frustrating, especially when it's THANKSgiving and people tend to forget that part of the holiday.

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

I totally know where you are coming from. We stopped going back for TG for several years. Now that we live in the state again, everyone is willing to be flexible. Thank goodness for that!

I had this conversation with my BFF this morning about when everyone really has "dinner." She said she grew up having it at lunch time. We've done it around 4:00 ish (kinda earlier than dinner). I think it happens to be served early than regular dinner because it is so labor intensive to prepare that large of a meal that other meals aren't evn considered (really). And, it gives time to eat a ton, have room for desert, and go through the black Friday circulars. :)

Happy TG!

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R.A.

answers from Providence on

It can be difficult to appease everyone. It was hard when I was younger. My parents were divorced, so I had to go to two TG dinners. When we were teens, I told them one for dinner, the other for dessert. It got too much with having to be at both for dinners. So, now that I live away from both of my parents, I eat at my MIL's every year. If my mom comes, she goes there too.This year my Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin are coming to my house for thanksgiving, and we all are then going to my MIL's house. Usually we get their at 2pm, eat by 3 or 3:30pm.

If no one will budge, that makes it all the more problematic. Can they all eat together? That would be easier on you, and everyone gets to see and eat with you.

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Our big meal is actually at noon. It used to be between 2 and 3, but since we had kids we moved it earlier so there is a normal nap time afterwards. Then we have a meal of leftovers between 5 and 6.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Bahaha! I am in the same boat with the TG trek to family in a galaxy far, far away.
They also have it as a type of "family reunion" and they eat at "O Dark 30" as they say - about 30 min after dark so about 6:30 ish??

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I like eating the Thanksgiving meal twice. First for a late lunch and then for dinner. It's so much food usually, it's nice to take our time and eat it throughout the day so we don't go into a food coma.

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M.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

Both families, my family and in laws eat around 5pm which I love! Dinner should be at dinner time! We switch every year. One year at my family then the next at my in laws. Neither family gets mad and understands it is better for our kids then ruining the day by spending so much time traveling to everyones house. I have had Thanksgiving at my house but only for my in laws because we do not have the room for both families. Christmas gets hard for us and we ran into your problem. In laws open presents on Christmas eve but dinner on christmas day and will not change. I said they can't expect us to spend the whole holiday with them every year. We always have my family christmas celebration with my family on some off day which makes me bitter too! My family is the only flexible one which isn't fair but we deal with it at this point.
Good Luck, M.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

Growing up with the massive family thing, I remember that we'd arrive at 10am, play and visit, and around 12 the relish trays and appetizers were laid out and people picked on it and ate (and we kids continued to steal olives and deviled eggs and keep playing). Eating was probably around 2 or 3; the football game was on and then men were in the living room watching the game and yelling, and the women were in the sunroom talking and doing whatever. For us, now that I'm a grownup doing my own thing: we eat a nice breakfast, a very light lunch, and dinner is about....not sure the time, but by the time the Cowboys finish playing, dinner is served (late afternoon/early evening).
If everyone was trying to control me, I'd just be like "sorry, this isn't working. how about ___?" and if noone agrees to compromise or work with you, I'd suggest either taking turns (one year do Thanksgiving at one house, Christmas at another, and then reverse it the next year) OR do you own thing at your own home.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

We eat when the Turkey is done. So it depends upon the size of the bird and how soon it went in and if it was stuffed or not.

We shoot for company arriving between 2-3pm, have drinks, veggie tray, all the gals go to the kitchen to finish things.

Even if my math were perfect at calculating, my oven might not be so.

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

When it's done. :o)

Seriously though...it's usually about 2 or 3pm. We eat a little earlier so everyone can relax, have seconds or thirds, be stuffed for a while, have dessert, and then help clean up and pack up leftovers. If we eat later, kids usually get tired and grumpy, and everyone is thinking "it's getting late...we need to go!"

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

Usually between 2 and 3. I don't know why I picked that time, but I've been cooking for 25 years now and that's just when I have it. I think it was always around noon when I was a kid. I guess I just wanted to give myself a bit more time.

Your situation is one of the reasons I've been cooking all these years. We've always been about 3 hours away from family and we just let them know that THEY were going to have to travel one holiday. Sometimes they all made it, and sometimes not. I cooked for whoever showed up.

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S.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

We used to do this as well. I got tired of it. Both families eat early for us too. What we did was 1 year we'd have 'dinner' with one family & then dessert with the other side. The following year we'd switch.

But I'm with a lot of the other people. Have it at your house this year. Save yourself the hassle.

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

Well tell them this you are doing it at your house because having to go to two places each year is too much for you. You could start switching and going to one this year and the other next year.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

As soon as it's ready!
For us that's usually about 4pm.
It's just me, my husband and our son.
We have an early breakfast and then don't eat much till feast time, so when it's ready - so are we!
An advantage to eating on the early side is you have some time to digest before pumpkin pie time - about 8 or 9pm.
It's much easier if you stay home and cook your own meal - you only have yourselves to please.
If they won't budge - fine, you don't have to budge either.
Stay home and watch the parade on tv and relax, then get cooking!
Call the folks later on.
If the getting together has ceased to be fun, just stop doing it or take a break from it every few years.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

My mother serves hers at 12:00, Noon. And I mean we sit down and start the prayer and then we all say what we are thankful for. We all live in town.

If you are not there, and in your chair we go ahead and start without you. This has made us all very prompt. She has trained us well.

MY inlaws say they will eat at 1:00, so we used to gobble the food at my moms and then dash out to my inlaws to then not be served till 4 or 5!!!!
You can imagine after a few years of this and the sniping on our way over and after.. So my husband admitted, it was crazy to even try to get to his moms at that time.

And so We learned to just show up after we have eaten at my mothers and just eat dessert at the inlaws. Many times, they still have not finished cooking, so we have not missed a thing.

The good news? I no longer deal with his parents.. long story, but I totally encourage my husband and our daughter to go and see them. It is like pulling teeth they dread it.

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L.R.

answers from Madison on

My family has always had the big dinner at noon and then leftovers at around 7:00 pm. Seems like the dinners could be staggered.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

tell them both your staying home this year due to zero flexability-im sorry just seems real selfish to me-one yr i had to completely rearrange xmas eve simply becuz my daughter got tickets to go to vikes game-im so not a fan-plus both kids have to go to dads,dads family,extended family-so we didnt do xmas til a week later.no shes married-so trky day at his folks-my son will come here.both your families need to bend a bit-good luck

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We eat between 6 and 7 pm - just like any other night. I do know many people eat at 2 pm - apparently this is 'dinner' as opposed to 'supper' time. I don't get it.

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A.F.

answers from Charleston on

When the turkey is done, which is never when predicted. So planned around 3 and normally 4.

Thanksgiving is easy for me. My parents eat at my inlaws.

Christmas is a nightmare, because of "scheduling". Last year it was really hard to enjoy the holidays, because everyone else felt they were getting shorted in spending time with our kids (I don't really think they missed me and my husband, just the kids). We threatened Disney for this year, because we want to enjoy it too. However I am sure that this year will be a basic repeat of last year....

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

We do appetizers at noon and leave them out for a bit and then we do the meal around 4. It's always been that way, and it works well for my siblings that need to go see other family too. My in-laws are in Mississippi and we are in Maryland, no splitting holidays for us!

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Lunch is at noon, supper is between 5 and 7 and DINNER is around 2 or 3 on Sundays and/or holidays at Grandma's house!

Seriously though, stay home! Invite them all to come to you! Back in the dark ages when I was married we used to do the 2 dinners in one day every now and then. But USUALLY his family would do the actual holiday and my family would do the Sunday after. So the only time we had problems is when the holiday WAS Sunday!

M.L.

answers from Houston on

I'm with K1.. we (as in the inlaws) call people in to eat around 2/3, but then we stand around carving the turkey and everything till an hour later!

They don't usually wait so long, b/c the ones cooking usually don't have time to eat lunch and everyone is hungry smelling the delicious food and needs a good looong time to digest the food before reheating leftovers and dessert for a late dinner.

As for family drama, sometimes you have to skip visiting a family and tell them what YOUR plan is going to be. They can budge if they really want you there.

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L.S.

answers from San Diego on

We eat Thanksgiving dinner at around 6-7 pm. I like it like that because then everyone arrives soon after lunch or in the early afternoon and we all cook, drink and have fun together before the big meal. We are all easy breezy about the whole Thanksgiving meal thing. Our point is more to get together and have fun. In my family it was never early in the day. Now my Aunt's family eats around 3 pm and the poor lady is cooking the night before and all morning and then all her family arrives to eat then leaves. Her kids also have to drive to other houses to eat a meal. I get where your coming from.

J.U.

answers from Washington DC on

Generally we eat at that time as well (2-3). I think it's because we eat breakfast and Thanksgiving meal only that day. We know we'll all stuff ourselves with good comfort food. Maybe you can alternate holidays/ Thanksgiving? If you felt comfortable maybe you could host the meal here and there? Not sure if that is possible.
Once you have a family there has to be some sacrifices made to visit with every side.
Maybe if you and your husband come up with a few scenarios that could possible work you'll be able to compromise to some degree. Sometimes just being honest and telling each party that your just too full to eat two meals etc. they can be pretty understanding. Good luck!

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