What's the Next Step?

We filed bankruptcy 7 years ago. The one where you have to pay everything off. Best thing we ever did! It was a rough five years. But totally worth it! We don't do credit cards. You get better rates from the mafia! You can only do what you can do. Good luck!

I hear weariness and discouragement in your tone, Jennifer. I'm sorry to hear things are so hard for your family. You're right, plenty of us are in financial pits right now, and hoping to hang on until the economy turns around.

If you google "free debt counseling" or "non-profit debt counseling," you'll find that non-profit counseling services are still available. I've heard a number of radio interviews in which the expert stresses that we don't have to settle for the services that add another layer of debt to our burdens.

My husband and I have together lived on a salary equivalent to one school teacher for nearly 30 years (we run a tiny non-profit publishing house). As skinny as our budget is, I find there are always ways to trim a little more. We've felt incredibly fortunate that, so far, at least, we've been able to stay relatively debt-free. But I've got several chronic health issues that are becoming incredibly expensive to manage. We have very expensive health insurance, but the deductible is so high that all our medical care is still out-of-pocket, and so there are some treatment options that I simply must let slide for now. And our ancient car is still running great, but could conceivably die at any moment. Not sure what we'll do if that happens – probably look for another older car.

Expectations are one of the great emotional burdens we've learned to let go. We simply have never been able to afford electronic gadgets and services (we don't even have TV), hair styling, travel, landscaping services. Most of our clothing comes from careful perusal of sales and a great local thrift-shop. There's no point in comparing our lifestyle to others' if that's only going to leave us feeling resentful.

Likewise, there's no point longing for a lifestyle or luxury we can no longer afford. We used to be able to splurge $20 a month on a dinner out or a trip to the zoo – this year we're down to an anniversary and birthday dinner for each of us, and an agreement that we'll pass on gifts for each other. But we give each other massages or foot rubs almost every day.

We are learning to notice and be grateful for what we do have, and are amazed to discover how wealthy we actually are. This is NOT an easy exercise, so I don't suggest it lightly. But it is deepening our ability to find a measure of contentment within our means, even as our means are shrinking. And I'd much rather be content than have a million dollars, if I had to choose between the two.

If you are looking for mortgage help, please call the Hope for Homeowners hotline at 1-888-995-HOPE to get the process started. They are a NON-PROFIT available 24/7 and provide insight, guildance and support while going through the process of a loan modification. I contacted them last year and they walked me through the process of contact Wells Fargo (one of the stingiest loan holders) and I was lucky enough to quailify for the HAMP program.
Beware it is a LONG process and a lot of paperwork but if you are considering a foreclosure as an option, it is better than that. Also, once the process starts I believe they are forbidden from continuing the foreclosure until you get a yes or no answer, which could bide you some time. Also, once you get assigned a consultant you can contact them anytime with questions if you think something sounds fishy or you don't understand what is being asked of you. They can serve as a go-between when dealing with the banks as well. Good Luck!

We've all had to take a close look at what we're doing and how we are spending. I often go back to the advice my parents gave me - and the way they lived - don't live beyond your means. They budgeted - plain and simple.

Getting out from under debt is tough and will take time, but can be done. It has helped me to itemize every single thing I buy to see just where the money goes. It might surprise you to see how easy it is to nickel and dime ourselves into a hole. And it often means giving up things like manicures and pedicures - as you have done with lawn service etc. It takes a good close look and sounds like you are doing that.

There is work out there and there's work out there that pays more than minimum wage and you'll need to ask around and 'put yourself out there.' Or perhaps you can be creative and find something you can do from home.

Sorry I don't have a concrete suggestion for you. Hang in there. Come together as a family and see if you can't find some solutions. You'll get through this. Good luck!!! - Let us know what you learn along the way or if you find some resources to help.

There's a great book by Lynne Twist you might want to check into - The Soul of Money. It gave me a different perspective on sufficiency. WELL worth reading!

I highly suggest the book Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. He has great solutions for your money issues. You can probably check it out from the library. Go on his website, listen to his radio show. You will see quickly what his method of getting rid of debt is. You can do it. First, cut up those cards. STOP USING THEM! :) Cut back on everything you don't *need*. Check out this blog: http://groceryshrink.com/ She and her husband got out of about $100K in debt in a pretty short period of time using Dave Ramsey's method. She writes about what worked for them, and offers a lot of advice. You have to be willing to sacrifice in the short term to make a difference. You can do it. Don't give up hope.

I dont know who your medical bills are through, but we have had alot ofluck asking to speak with their financial assistance depts. then mailing a copy of reduced paychecks (my husband had a loss of income too) and most of medical bills after insurance have been taken care of.
When calling credit cards I'd ask to speak directly to a supervisor. Explain you have every intention of paying the bill, but you are facing financial diffuculties and need help. If they dont want to work with you, tell them your next step is bankruptcy. Sometimes that will get them to listen. good luck. I think so many of us can totally understand what you're going through!

RUN to the library and get a Dave Ramsay book. You need to live on less than you make, no matter what that amount is. CUT UP the two credit cards. You clearly can't afford to have them unless you are paying them off at the end of every month.
Do NOT do CCCS or debt CONsolidation.
Do not do foreclosure!
Do not do bankruptcy!
Get rid of a vehicle if you can.
Sell some things,
Have a garage sale yesterday!

You most likely should never have cashed out your 401Ks and college funds. Sorry you didn't get sound advice on those options.
Get on board the Total Money Makeover. You need to get a handle on the spending. Don't just put a band aid on it.

I have not checked out your profile. You have kids, how many and are they old enough for you to go to work? Can you get a job at the mall while hubby is at home? What about the grocery store, then you would get discounts where it matters and not in some department store you can't afford to shop at anyway.
I had to go to work at Macy's. It was boring and I hated it but it kept food on our table.
Also your in school probably qualify or free or reduced lunch and breakfast. Let the school feed them.
I hear ya on eceryone charging nowadays. I have tried to use Dave Ramsey's way but can't because even his stuff is all for profit.
How can you get out of your bind if you can't afford the help to get you there?