What's the Average That Boys Are Potty-trained?

Updated on May 09, 2008
S.K. asks from Fullerton, CA
9 answers

My daughter was potty-trained when she was 2 1/2 and my son is turning three this month and has shown no interest at all in potty training. This wasn't a big deal until the gymnastics program that we go to said he can't graduate out of the mommy and me class until he's potty trained (not sure why they have this rule, since it's just an hour class and I'm there if any diapers need changing). I've always heard that boys take longer to potty train, but how much longer? I don't want him to have to stay in the "babies" class "forever", while his female counterparts all graduate.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Tanya- it is just not developmentally appropriate for a child to use the potty at 2 years old...those who do should add another "count" to their blessings :-)
My boys were ages 4,4 and 2 when they started using the potty.

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T.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is turning 5 the end of the month, he was completely trained at 4 1/2. It was one of those things where I was going crazy, but as soon as I let it go and just accepted that I would be changing diapers forever, he got interested and it was done. He hasn't had accidents or regession (yet, knock on wood). My 3 year old son will go if we remind him regularly, but won't tell us he has to go. Try getting your son to sit on the potty before you go to gym and arrive a little early and tell him if he has to go potty now is the time to go. Put pull ups on and ask the gym if he can graduate since he is in pull ups? But to answer your question mine was 4 1/2.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.:
Yes S., Boys do take longer to potty train,and, I'll give you two reasons just off the top of my head.First of all girls mature alot faster than boys, they catch on to everything quicker.second, girls only need to learn to plop their butts down on the toilet. Boys have the task of learning to stand, to urinate,and sit to do the other.It's obvious to me, that (some parents)have made the mistake, of disciplining their toddlers,for their failure to mature at their (PARENTS PACE).It makes things real convienent for the parent, but,that type of tactic, can have lasting negative effects on the child.My sons,both were potty trained,around 2 1/2 years old.Your son, should show more interest,since he has an older sister. Siblings naturaly want to compete or try and stay up with the others progress.What I use to do, is have a few of my sons favorite books to look at in the bathroom, and have him go sit for a while and look at his book.It wasn't so much I was pressuring him,and he relaxed,and usually went. After a while, he was asking me to go sit and look at his books.(letting me know, he needed to go)Praise him,but don't make to big of a deal,or it will be a big deal each time he succeeds.The best of luck to you S..

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sorry but the gymnastics rule is ridiculous. I'd challenge them on that one.

My daughter potty trained just before turning 4! And my son is newly 3 and although shows interest and has had days where he has worn underwear all day, has not been doing it 100% yet but I feel it coming!

Just put him in underwear for the class (-: See what happens. Let's see, what do you think they would prefer... a child having an accident that needs to be cleaned up or a child in a diaper that they don't even have to worry about! Too funny. Sorry, I'm just surprised that they require that to move up.

Best wishes,
M.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,

My son is 2 1/2 and is now potty trained. It took 3 weeks to potty train him. I believe it is the parents that hender the child from learning. It's a lot of effort for parents and sometimes it's just easier to put a pull-up, or diaper on the child for the moment. When I decided to do it, I dedicated my time to potty training. I didn't want it to linger on for months and months. For the first week I let him run around completely naked. Keeping him off my sofa and trying to stay outside a lot. I tried not to go anywhere (unless I had to) and I watched every move he made, w/out being pre-occupied. He had a couple accidents, but nothing we couldn't clean up. When we had to go out to run errands, I would try to get him to go before we left and I would make sure I took 2-3 pairs of extra underware and pants. I didn't put a pull-up on him at those times, because it's just like a diaper. They don't feel it when it's wet, so it's kind of regressing. Once he felt his pants wet, he would walk with his legs apart telling me "Mommy...pee-pee.". After a week, I started putting underware on him at all times, then he would feel it if he had an accident. He only had a couple of accidents and after 3 weeks, pretty much no accidents at all. I still put a pull-up on him at nap time and bed time. He always wakes up dry after his nap, but I still put it on him and just remove it right when he wakes up.

Another thing that was very helpful is bribery! I would give him a couple of M&M's every time he would go. AND, of course, I had some times of reluctancy, so I used reverse psychology. I would say to him in my kind of teasing voice, "Don't you go on that potty. Don't you do it...". Well, my son, if you tell him not to do something he thinks it's funny to do it. He would run in there and say "I'm going!". And I would also tell him, "I don't want you to grow up and be a big boy. I want you to stay my little baby. Let's put your diaper back on so you can be my little baby.". That worked too!!

You might be hesitant on the reverse psychology, but I believe they know when you're playing and when you're serious about not doing something. My son can tell the tone of my voice.

One important thing I read is don't show any kind of disappointment, or signs of being upset when they have any kind of accident. It said to smile and count to 10. It puts stress on them and then they think if they mess up then they're going to get in trouble, or let you down. They don't want to even try. I had done that (shown disappointment) and as soon as I stopped and said "That's okay, it's just an accident. We can clean it." It seemed to make a big difference in his own effort. He started telling me he had to go potty rather than me having to ask.

This is just my opinion. I'm not a doctor. But I do try very hard to understand my kids and I read a lot. I hope this helps you. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I introduced the potty to my son when he was 2 and he didn't get the full grasp of it, no pull-ups till he was 3 1/2. I think in general girls just get the hang of it quicker than boys do. It could be their maturity level.
Just keep encouraging it but don't give him a hard time. He'll get there eventually.

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K.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son was almost 4. Once I stopped pressuring him to be PT, he trained himself in a matter of days. My DD at 33mo. just trained herself last week. With both kids I introduced the concept at 2. They are both very strong willed. He would go fine on the potty several days in a row then refuse to use it. Once he was truely ready in his own clock it was easy. No fighting and no tears. He was also smart enough to know that Pull-Ups were just diapers with another name.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S., boys do not take longer, in potty training how it is going is usually about the parents more so the kids, My first born now 24 was potty trained by the time he was 21 months, my second son now 21 was potty trained by 19 months, and my daughter now 19 was potty trained by 22 months, and the only reason that was, cause in the mist of training her we got orders to go over seas, so with all that intailed to i decided to hold off the traing until the move and we were settle, do you make him pick up his own toys? if he showed no interest in picking up his toys would you still make him? probably yes, so why should potty training be any different. My husband and I discussed that bevore i was ever pregnant with my first, and we agreed we would not have no two year olds in diapers, and we didn't, it's about taking charge, and making sure the children understand who is in charge, and you do things when mom and dad tell you, not when you show an interest. I totally understand about the gymnastics, you can't go to the big boy level, when you are still in baby diapers. Nay you can use that as an insentive, but at 3 he should not only be potty trained he should be using the regular toilet at that age. Mom for 24 years. J.

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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm not one to push this issue if they are not developmentally ready.
http://www.naeyc.org/ece/1998/17.asp

I didn't push. I waited till both my son and daughter were comfortable with pooping in the potty (between 3.5 and younger than 4).

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