What Should I Do? - Medina,OH

Updated on November 12, 2009
R.H. asks from Medina, OH
10 answers

Ok here it goes. Let me know what you think I should do. I was working day shift and my 16 year old daugher has a son that is over a year old now and she has school during the day so we decided to put him in daycare. We actually put in the daycare at the Career Center or Vo-ed whatever it is called in your area (A school that teaches kids how to take care of kids.) There have been a few small things that have bothered me but this one I think was big. My grandson is spoiled. We told the lady this when we first brought him there. He is use to sleeping with his mother so they wouldn't be able to just put him in a crib. All he will do is cry. She said that would be ok because then she would sit with him on a bean bag and get him to lay down to sleep. Well the other day my daughter went to get her son and they had him in a high chair facing the wall with the lights low. He had cried himself to sleep. This made me really mad and by monday I fired the daycare. He didn't do anything bad so I really don't know why they would do that to him. I gave work a two week notice and decided to watch my grandson myself. Do you think this was a good way to put him to sleep? Do you think I was stupid for firing them? The teacher called me the other day and was trying to explain to me that he was turned around because students kept coming in and upsetting him so they turned him to the wall where he was looking at holloween decorations. I don't know I just think it was really wrong and it concerns me that this is what the teacher is teaching student to do. I know I am rambling. What do you think? And thank you for your import!!

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So What Happened?

Nothing new has really happened. My daughter is going to be home schooled so she can be there for her son. She has missed days of school for illness. I really want to thank you all for letting know what you all thought. I am thinking about going in another career direction. Having a home daycare.

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answers from Cleveland on

Is it possible that he fell asleep while sitting in the chair, And since he is so difficult to get to sleep they just left him there? I went to the JVS and the teachers I had (this was 15 years ago now) wouldnt do that. But then again they may not be the same teachers. If you/she isnt comfortable with him at that center then really you should find another. Also remember these are teenagers who "work there". They are still learning how to take care of children. I am by no means excusing them IF they let him sit in chair facing the wall and screamed himself to sleep. That is appaling! Have you looked into people who do childcare in their homes? I know the centers in Medina are expensive and seem crowded. With this economy I would keep him there long enough to find another sitter service. If you can afford to stay at home and watch him thats awesome, I really wish my parents and MIL lived close enough to do that!
Good luck with everything.

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answers from Cleveland on

I do daycare from my home and would never put a child to sleep in that way. I take care of kids during the day and overnight. A child who is a co-sleeper is harder to take care of, if it is not on a one-on one situation. That is when the mother and daycare provider sit down and come up with a solution that does not leave a child sitting in a high chair screaming themselves to sleep. I think that it is great that you gave your notice and are staying home if you are in that position. What I would maybe caution on though is that this is your daughter's little one and she needs to make some decisions too. I would search for a local provider who understands your needs and is willing to work on a transition plan that makes everyone feel comfortable. You definitely want the personal touch of a in home provider. I hope this helps.



answers from Terre Haute on

While I am the first person to advocate for a parent being the person who knows their own child best I think that you need to think ahead a little bit in this situation. It is not uncommon for children to have to adjust to a new way of doing things when they enter daycare, nor is it harmful to a child to sleep without someone holding them the entire time. It may work in your current situation for either you or your daughter to get him to sleep like that at home but obviously the reality is that you are unlikely to be able to stay home with him until he goes to school. At some point he is going to have to get used to being with someone other than you or your daughter and learn to soothe himself when it is time to sleep or when the adult caring for him cannot give him their undivided attention. I do not disagree with the daycare's decision to allow him to cry himself to sleep, or to allow him to do so in the manner that they did. Where I do fault them is in not telling you from the beginning that they would not be able or willing to do things the way you have done them at home. They should have been upfront with you that in a daycare situation your grandson would be expected to adjust to a different sleeping situation and then they should have taken steps to reassure you that it was time for him to learn how to sleep on his own and it is not harmful for him to do so. Obviously you have lost confidence in this particular daycare and may not want to return him there, but quitting your job and deciding to continue catering to the whims of a one year old probably isn't the best long term decision. I would consider another daycare and this time go in making it clear that this is the way you currently do things at home, then asking what changes need to be made to make the transition to daycare easiest on him, and then follow their advice.



answers from Indianapolis on

Scares me to think that this is how young adults are being "taught" to care for children. You did the right thing and that day care should be ashamed and possibly reported.



answers from Cleveland on

Oh no. I do daycare from my home, and I've had a co-sleeper, it's tough but you know that going into it. What they did was cruel and honestly I'd report them. Not only did they lie to you but a high chair facing a wall in a dark room is not a proper place for an infant to sleep. Technically i believe it is actually against most regulations for a child under 16months old to sleep anywhere but a crib but i'm not sure. I would assume they are a state mandated facility and have to follow all state laws. If you do want to take this any further I'd suggest calling your local Job and family services and speaking with someone who does child care licensing. good luck, and you did the right thing.



answers from Fort Wayne on

That is horrible!!!! I would rather my kid not nap at all if that's the way they put babies to sleep. You definitely need to contact the principal, or whomever is in charge at the school, and report that teacher! If you can babysit him yourself, I think that's what I'd do. I feel so bad for the little guy!



answers from Dayton on

I am disgusted that they let the child cry himself to sleep in a high chair. High chairs are for eating, not for restraint. If they can't rock him in a rocker, or similarly cuddle him, then they should have let him lay in a crib to cry. I would definitely report the teacher to at least the center's director and perhaps the dept of job and family services. If you can afford to stay home with him, then by all means do so. If you can't, be aware that there are good centers out there in which your grandbaby will be cherished. But you might want to work on getting him used to his own bed soon.



answers from Cleveland on


YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! I am appaled that someone would treat a child this way! I would have done the same thing!

Good for you!!!



answers from Lafayette on

You did the right thing. It troubles me that they are teaching future childcare providers that this is how it's done. Was there no one that could have rocked him and comforted him? Do they think of him as a thing rather than a person? A little person who needs to be nurtured and not ignored. I am so glad he has a grandma that loves him enough to get him out of that situation.



answers from Indianapolis on

Well, I completely understand how you feel. I had my oldest in a Kindercare until she was about 18 months. One day, I went in there (I frequently stopped in during the day since I worked close enough by to do that over lunch), and she was in her crib SCREAMING. All the other kids (4 of them, there were 2 adults) were playing nicely, and nobody was giving her any attention. I picked her up and she calmed down almost instantly. I asked them what happened. They said, "She's tired." I asked why she was left in her crib to cry, and got no answer. I put her with the other kids and she began playing. I went to the director and had MANY words. There was no reason for that. They explained to her that she was teething, they gave her tylenol, and it hadn't kicked in yet, that nothing they were doing was helping, so they put her in the crib. I told them that was completley unacceptable under the circumstances. They weren't dealing with having a snack or lunch, there were only 4 kids and they were playing happily. There was no reason for her to be left in a crib to cry because her teeth hurt or becuase she was "tired".

Fortunatley, very soon after that, we worked something out with our neighbor to watch her, and she's been happy as a clam since. Our oldest is now almost 6, and our youngest is 3 and has never known a "typical" daycare setting.

Anyway - suffice to say I understand your concerns. I think it's commendable that you've turned in your 2 weeks so you can take care of your grandson. My sister stayed home until my nephews could "speak for themselves" and tell her what was going on.

I think their explanation is *somewhat* reasonable - I don't think they should have let him "cry it out" in the chair, but understand why if he had fallen asleep why they would have tried to put him in a quiet corner. But then they said something about the Halloween decorations. Sometimes you have to do what you can do to keep the kids happy and entertained.

Sorry couldn't be more helpful...

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