What Is Your Bed Time for 9/10 Year Old?

Updated on May 06, 2013
S.R. asks from Scottsdale, AZ
15 answers

Trying to figure out how strict to be about 8:30-9:00 bed time. We rarely make it at 8:30 and mornings are usually a bit of a drag trying to get dd out of bed. Also, just getting the bed time routine done...teeth, pajamas, etc is a struggle. What works for you?

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answers from Grand Forks on

My boys (7&10) go to bed at 10:00pm, but they don't have to get up until 7:30 or 8:00am because school starts at 9:00am. We aren't strict about bed time and we don't have any bed time struggles. At 9:30 I will tell them to start getting ready for bed and they do. They wake up on their own most of the time. We are flexible about letting them stay up later on weekends, in the summer or for special events, and they are pretty good about going to bed earlier if they are over tired or have to get up earlier than usual.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Between 9 and 10. She likes to stay up after her brother goes to bed and watch Castle with me. I don't mind, it's sort of our thing to do. When she's old and I am gone there will be Castle reruns on and she'll think of me.

If she goes to bed by 10 and gets up after 6 that's more than 8 hours of sleep, and we don't get up until 7 or so, that's more than 9 hours of sleep. It's not every night though. Most nights she's in bed around 9 and doesn't drift off to sleep until later.

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answers from Austin on

At this age, we did not have a set bedtime..instead we had an understanding.. Our daughter could stay up as late as she liked, but in the morning, she had to get up on time, or else, that night, I would set the bedtime...or I would begin waking her up even earlier the next morning..

We rarely had a problem with this.. She learned vey quickly what time she needed to be asleep ...on her own...

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answers from New York on

I have an 11 yr old and an 8.5 yr old. Usually we head upstairs at 8:30 but by the time all is said and done (ready for bed, reading finished) its usually around 9:30. Tonight we were late and it was a little after 10 (bad mama!).

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answers from Seattle on

My 9 and 6 year olds are in bed each night at 9. Some of the time my 9 year old fights the routine because apparently many of her schoolmates stay up til 11. They have a 7 a.m. wake up time. I don't allow for struggles in the morning because an hour and a half is plenty of time for them to get dressed, eat, brush teeth/hair, make their lunch and do their chores. If they present issues in the morning it is well known that come the afternoon things will need to be completed in addition to typical afternoon things(natural consequence)and if warranted a punishment is given.

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answers from Jacksonville on

My 11 year old daughter (and 14 year old son) are usually in bed around 9:30. Son actually tends to go to bed before 9:00 (his choice).

But then, they have to be out of the door and waiting for the bus BY 6:45 a.m. and they have a very long day of school. (14 yr old isn't dismissed until 3:45 pm).

When they had a later "out the door" time for school in the mornings, and they were younger (1st and 4th grades?) I had them in bed by 9:00 pm. I always shot for 8:30, but as long as the lights were out before 9:00, I considered it mostly a success. But, they didn't have to leave the house in the mornings until about 7:40.

If your child is not a morning person, it is a challenge for sure. It usually means they have a harder time falling asleep at bedtime, and then of course aren't ready to get up in the morning. What is the issue with bedtime? (besides "dragging") Is there not enough time after dinner for a bath and then to wind down? Can you move dinner up? Have them get their bath before dinner? Have them get ready for bed as soon as dinner is over and then they can "chill" until time for lights out?

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answers from Miami on

Start the bedtime routine right after dinner. There is no TV after dinner, period. Upstairs and bath, pj's and quiet play until it's time for reading, and then bed.

Mine went to bed at 8:30. Sometimes we'd stetch it to 8:45, but we did this all the way until our kids were older. At that point, they WANTED to go to bed. They never fought me on it. The only reason that they didn't get to bed when they were in junior high was because of so much homework after sports. Then they WISHED they could go to bed!

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answers from Orlando on

9pm on school nights for my 10 yr old. We always had a problem w her getting up on time (she LOVES to sleep in!) ......... she does not move fast in the morning. The past 2 school years, she has figured out that if she actually wakes up EARLIER, she can shower, lay back in bed, relax, watch TV and be a slow poke and it's perfectly ok. Her alarm is set for 5:45am, she takes a shower then hangs out in bed until about 6:30am then comes out for breakfast.


answers from Santa Fe on

My 9 yr old is in bed reading by 8:30. He is supposed to be asleep by 9pm but often things are running late around here and really he's asleep by 9:30 many nights. He gets up around 7:15.


answers from Norfolk on

We aimed for 8:30, then we read for 30 min and lights out was 9pm.
If we didn't get to bed before 9, then there was no story time and my son HATED to miss out on story time, so there was not much struggle over bedtime.
Try moving bath/pajamas to 7:30 (turn off the tv/computer and leave it off at that point if you don't do that already) then save teeth till about 8:15.
Our son ALWAYS needed his sleep, so sleeping from 9 to 6:30am worked well for him.
For a 9/10 yr old, somewhere between 9 to 10 hrs of sleep is what they need - they are doing some fast growing at this time.


answers from Phoenix on

Our kids are all showered and in their rooms by 8pm each night. They don't have to go to sleep, but they have to stay in there for quiet time before they do go to sleep. They don't have any electronics except for the radio/cd player. They will listen to music, read, play with stuff or draw, write, etc. They are almost always asleep on their own before 9pm, including my 10 yo. However, 2 out of 3 of them are EARLY birds and I have never had to get them out of bed in the mornings, nor have I had to make them get to sleep, they have always shut off their light and gone to sleep on their own. We have been doing this since they were small and they are 10, 13 and 17 now.



answers from Dallas on

9 pm is lights out for my 10 year old during the week. He is to be ready and in bed by 8:30 and he can read from 8:30-9. If he doesn't want to read, he can go straight to sleep.


answers from Chicago on

We eat dinner in out Pajamas.

How long does it take to get them in bed? If it currently takes an hour then start them at 7:30. Give them what it takes - when they complain that bed time taking so long blah blah blah then say if you do it all faster then it will be better.

If it starts at 7:30 and ends at 8:00 5 nights in a row then start at 7:45. If it starts at 7:45 and ends at 8:00 5 nights in a row then start at 8:00. Bedtime starts not when they are IN bed, but when they prepare.

My son changes into his PJ's just before dinner (part of another routine) then after dinner teeth get brushed and all he drinks is water. He has about 30ish min of free time before bed time stories. If he is reading I schedule 20 min, if I am reading 10 once story time is over into bed by 7:30 asleep by 8pm. Up & happy at 6:30.



answers from Columbus on

My older is newly 11. We aim for 8:00/8:30, but it's rarely before 9. Next year middle school starts at 7:30 am (elementary right now is at 9:00). We're gonna be in a world of hurt next year.



answers from Minneapolis on

8:30-9pm on a school night. We really try for 8:30 but with reading at bedtime sometimes it's 9pm. He gets up at 6:45am everyday with an alarm. Sometimes he's more tired than others in the morning.

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