"What Have You Done???"

my son shook a whole LARGE container of baby powder all over his room! It smelled nice but oh boy..... I looked at husband and said "do you want the kid or the room?" - he cleaned the boy, I cleaned the room.

my neighbor kids opened a bean bag, dumped the contents, then stripped down naked and rolled around in it (it was cool that the beads stuck to them, ya know). She called me crying because of the mess, I came to help. It wasn't funny at the time.

my daughter opened and dumped A. entire large container of rice.

Oh no on the play kitchen...all those nooks and crannies...yikes! You need to look up the website shitmykidsruined.com. Its seriously hilarious.

Ho hum where do I start? Painting the walls with his poop? Using the glue stick like chapstick? Cutting his own hair? Peeing by the monkey bars at the park? Peeing on a little baby and his grandma at the park?

When my kid learned how to crack eggs he snuck a carton out of the fridge one morning and cracked them all on one of the burners of the stove. He knew he wasn't allowed to cook without me so he thought as long as there wasn't a pan out, he wasn't officially "cooking". I found him "cooking" when I came down to make my morning coffee. Thank God he didn't turn the stove on. Anyway, we went out for donuts that morning.

I really should have kept a better eye on my kid I guess.

Do you know how fun it is to clean up a whole picture of green cool aid from under the refrigerator at 7 am? I do.
Do you know you can smell the whole jar of cumin spilled out on the floor before you can see it? I do.

When my older son was two he walked into the bathroom while I was showering, pulled back the curtain, and said "Look what I can do..." Then he smashed two eggs together. When I got out of the shower I found the rest of the eggs smahed open on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge, where he had been practicing.

Good Lord, where do I begin? Yes, she did the poop painting....on All. Four. Walls. I seriously just wanted to run away at that point.

She has markered her face several times.

Now she can get into the pantry and I can't even count how many times she tried to make 'lion soup' with random ingredients. First off Lion Soup? Really? What the hell is that? Second apparently lion soup is mostly made of vegetable oil and baking soda. So I put those things on the high shelves. Guess who learned how to scale the shelves?

Oh, then there was the time that I was vacuuming and she found her dad's hammer that he had left out and nailed a tack into our leather office chair.

I could go on...but right now she is digging a mud hole so...you know.

That reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin is pounding nails into the coffee table. His mother runs in yelling "What are you doing to the coffee table?!?" His response was "Is this some sort of trick question?" My son did the same thing to our back door when he was four.

My DD is pretty tame so far.

She drew on the wall. And drew on herself. Oh, she took a black marker to a signed copy of a book. That was fun. And she recently took my puffy paint to paint her socks after I told her it wasn't paint for paper.

And at least she's not these kids: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/11/krasna-horka-fir...

When my daughter was about 3, I had gone up stairs to put my son , then A. infant down for his nap. He was the easy put um in their crib and walk away baby so I wasn't gone more than 5 minutes. I come down the stairs and I see her run as fast as she can from the kitchen all the way into the living room. Well from the kitchen all the way into the living room where these little white foot prints. I said " B what are you doing?" she said " nothing" I get into the living room and there are little white hand prints all over my dark blue couch. And she is covered head to toe in some kind of white powder. I follow the foot prints all the way back into the kitchen and my kitchen , the dog and her are covered in powdered sugar. The dog has licked some of it off so he's got sticky matted fur in places and she's looking up at me with these little puppy dog eyes. It was one of those times I was trying not to laugh cause I really needed to be upset with her but I just couldn't cause it was so funny. I'm telling you my life is like a sitcom, some of the things that happens in my family I know couldn't happen anywhere else BUT on TV.

ETA: mine did the cutting and dumping out of the tiny styrofoam beans out of a bean bag too.She also drew on the walls, cut her clothes, hair and curtains. My son was the poop painter.

Lets see....Last night i was making beignets and had flour on the counter spread out to make beignets. My kids thought "oh play time". Needless to say they thought it was fun playing in the flour and had flour all over them and all over the floor. All i saw was "little" footprints on the floors. Oh the time when i had all 3 kids in the bath tub. Got each one out and dress them. Needless to say one decided to run and slide in the hallway(b/c their bathroom goes into the hallway) and the other two thought how cool. So they sat there for a good 5 minutes running in the hallway and sliding on the wet floors;while i clean the bathroom up.sigh!! Then had to clean the hallway up also. ;)

My son decided to paint his chest, the wall, sheets and the night stand with a nearly new bottle of Vick's Vapor Rub!! Couldn't get that smell out of the sheets; after 5 washings, I tossed them. The scent of Vick's rub was so strong in his room, he couldn't sleep in there for days! lol Every time someone came over, I had to go over the whole story again! Oh, and it was in his hair, too!!! Yikes!!

I have 5 kids and 2 nephews and some of the highlights have been:

Whole full giant container of foot powder...all over my bedroom!

Powdered Nestles Qwik...all over kitchen, and they tried to 'eat it' so there was wet fingerprints and even some tongue prints on the island. Nice.

Full container of liquid laundry soap + Costco sized container of Resolve stain remover + pee...luckily they dumped it all in a bucket in the laundry room but that was A. EXPENSIVE mess...and don't even get me started on the pee part?? I was so angry...but apparently pee + laundry soap makes great bubbles? ICK!

Dry erase markers the whole length of the wall going downstairs into the family room.

And this one was not there fault but it was THE WORST, IMO! We were on a road trip, went thru the drive-thru for lunch & got the 2 boys (all we had at the time) milkshakes....youngest son got a stomach ache and proceeded to puke ALL over...and in doing so, made his older brother gag and puke ALL over his side of the car! Chocolate & Butterscotch milkshake puke mixed in w/chicken nuggets & fries is DIS-CUST-ING!!! And of course we were in the middle of nowhere at the time, on the freeway and all we had was a travel size wet-wipe container and the left over napkins from lunch to clean up the mess. Thankfully hubby has a strong stomach...my portion of 'clean up' consisted of changing the kids' clothes!

We buy the giant boxes of Goldfish. What can I say, we all love them! :) At any rate, one morning, I ran upstairs to go to the bathroom. When I came back down, my two daughters were on the couch. The older was just sitting, the younger was "swimming" in Goldfish. (She literally was laying in them moving her arms up and down at her sides.) Yep. They had poured out everything that was left in the box (over half) onto the couch. Of course, the only way to clean them all up without taking 3 hours to do it was to vacuum them up, so they were not longer edible. *sigh* You would have thought I'd have learned my lesson the time that the younger one managed to open the Honey Nut Cheerios and pour those out on the floor, but apparently I didn't.

Uhhh I have a good one.
I put my little angel for a nap. They don't nap, but she was tired. She stayed without a fuss, so I left her there. After about A. hour, I went to check on her, and OH MY GOD!!! not only had she emptied the contents of her diaper (2) she'd done a hell of a job spreading it over the crip, the wall her hands, her face.... IT WAS EVERYWHERE, I swear I wanted to cry!.
After the bath of her life and cleaning everything, I sat down on the couch and declared strike for the rest of the night.
BTW my husband also wanted to cry.... laughing. hahaha.

Ok, now that I have wiped the tears away from laughing so hard, (sorry mama's some of them are funny) I will share what my children and dog have done.

A. entire 5 pound bad of flour all over the floor. She wanted to make snow in the kitchen. (Btw...flour gums up a vacuum forever). luckily it came off the dog fairly easily.

The dog got the bottle of honey off the kitchen table and ran through the (yes carpeted) house squeezing it. You could tell exactly where he went. (Baby wipes get honey out of carpet for anyone who needs to know)

Marker drawings up one leg and down the other, vegetable oil skating rink in the kitchen.

Luckily my son hasn't tried any of it. But they are both climbers. At 2, my daughter ended up on top of the refrigerator to get the Hershey's Kisses. Pushed the dining room chair into the kitchen, up to the counter, and climbed up. All in the 5 seconds I took to go to the bathroom.

Last Friday, I had two of my grandchildren being babysat at my house for the day while the rest of us were at school/work. They are 5 and 6. They apparently dug BIG holes in the backyard. As soon as my hubby walked in the door, they grabbed his hand and took him to the backyard to show him what Moe (the dog) had done! They had absolutely no explanation for the shovels that were sitting right there! Grandpa just made them fill the hole back in. LOL!