What First? Potty Training, Breaking the Binky Habit, or Big Girl Bed?

Updated on April 10, 2008
K.L. asks from Campbell, CA
11 answers

Hi Ladies -
So, my daughter is 27 months old and on the verge of all of these new milestones: potty training, big girl bed, and getting rid of the binky. She has shown potty training readiness for awhile now and regularly wants to use the potty, but we have yet to get the timing down right (like. she'll say poop on the potty but she will poop in the diaper right before she sits on the toilet): she is ready for it, but we will have to stay inside for a week or so while I have her be in training pants and we have some accidents before we get it right. She is also showing readiness for the big girl bed: we plan on taking the removeable side of the crib off and turning it into a toddler bed, and as per advice from our ped and friends, we will be putting a baby gate up at night in her room once she IS in a big girl bed to prevent night wandering.
The third issue is the hardest, and one that IM almost afraid to touch: our binky habit. She is a binky addict, and while I have been limiting her use of it, especially when in public, the binky is a surefire way to calm her during one of her many tantrums, helps her sleep, and is her general source of comfort. I believe that her verbal skills might be falling behind, though, because she talks through the binky. Don't get me wrong, she has spoken in complete sentences since she was 18 months old, but I have seen a drop off or standstill in her verbal skills and think the binky has a lot to do with it.
My question is, what do I do first? I feel like she might need the binky to get adjusted to the big girl bed transition, and all three above listed milestones are all big transitions, and that binky helps her ease through transitions like nothing else. I realize that we will get little sleep during the binky and big girl bed changes, but should I take the binky away first, let her have it for the bed transition, potty train? Im at a loss, and some advice would be great! What do you think?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks mommies for ALL of your help and advice! We are going to do our milestones in this order - big girl bed, potty training, then binky. I think I need her to have that binky through all of these new transitions before I take it away - as suggested, the binky is now only for naptime and bedtime, and stays in the crib.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I would start with the bed. If for no other reason than it means you don't have to lift her out of the crib when she needs to use the potty.

Good luck

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Sacramento on

I think you should do what comes naturally to her.

She's obviously not ready for the binky removal, so don't take that away just yet. Especially with all these changes, she might need the comfort. Limiting her use is the best thing you can do, it shows her that it's special. You might want to start her on a favorite soft toy to hold on to, so that when you do transition out of the binky she can use that toy as comfort by association.

The bed might be a good transition tool to becoming a "big girl" so you could do that first and use it as an anchor for all the other changes.

And I'm a believer that potty training is different in every child. My son seemed ready at 24 months, but suddenly lost interest. He's 3 years old now and still not potty trained. I'm glad I waited because it would have been too much stress on him. Remember, their bodies have to also be physically ready to hold the wastes for long periods of time.

But each child is different... so just feel it out.

The bed thing seems to be the easiest. It's just a matter of their brain adjusting to the parameters. She might fall out a couple nights at, but she'll be okay (you might want to cushion the fall with blankets on the ground around the bed).

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Yuba City on

HI Kristin, I would say bed, binky, potty training.
We put our daughter in a toddler at 2. She never had a binky, but from what I've seen with friends of kids who have, if you were to take the binky first she'd have a harder time getting used to the new bed as for most toddlers the binky is a security measure. So, once she is used to and comfortable in the bed take the binky. Of course you can always start to limit the time she has the binky at any time. I started potty training our daughter about 3 months before she turned 3. I simply put her in a dress without panties or diaper (a simple solution to her being naked as most children won't pee outside a diaper) and set a timer to remind ME to take her to the potty every so often. We began on a Friday and by Monday when I had some errands to run, she was potty trained. Girls are much easier than boys. (We also have a son and by comparison our daughter was easier to potty train)

GOOD LUCK!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

The order we did it in was, Big girl bed, then binky, then potty training. She needed the binky for the bed transition for sure. And even though she only used her binky at night, as soon as we got rid of it, im talking the next day, she wanted to use the potty, it seems like it was holding her back or something. I didnt force the potty issue, i just let her tell me when she was ready. But since your daughter is addicted to the binky all the time, you should start transitioning it for only night. So I think the order you should do it in is, night time binky, big girl bed, no binky and through all that keep up what you have been doing with the potty. You are on the right track :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.F.

answers from Stockton on

Hi.
I like this question, too. My vote is for the bed, the binky, then the potty training. The potty training can take a few days or it can drag on and on. The bed was easy for us, because my child was climbing out and gave us no choice. Happily, we never had a binky habit to break as mine didn't like them. But, whatever you decide, you'll be fine as you are smart to not try all 3 at once!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Sacramento on

This is what we did and it worked great for us. My daughter was a binki addict too and it was our greatest fear to get rid of it plus we also had to potty train and transition her to a big girl bed.
We took the binki first. She was two years and seven months when we finally did it. Since it was right after Christmas I told her that we were going to take her binki's to the store with us and she could pick out a teddy bear (her favorite)in exchange for the binki's and that Santa was going to pick them up that night and give them to babies that needed them. So we wrapped her binki's in a little christmas bag and headed to the store where she picked out a bear and as we went to pay for the bear she gave the lady her binki's. Amazingly, she did it without a fuss and that was it. We left the store and she cried for a short time in the car but it was SO much easier than I thought. I just kept telling her that it was a wonderful thing that she did and now that she was older and no longer needed a binki that they were going to little babies who needed them. It made sense to her which I think helped tremendously when she would ask to have it. I have also heard of the "Binki Fairy" from Super Nanny. Your toddler puts her binki's in a package/envelope addressed to the binki fairy who will pick them up when your child is sleeping and will leave a little toy (and some fairy dust). I've heard that works too.

Once binki was gone, we potty trained her (she wore a pull-up at night) and once that was accomplished that we removed the side rail from her crib and now wears underwear at night. We wanted to wait to put her in underwear at night until she could get out and go on her own if she needed to. We actually chose not to put up a side rail on her bed only because we wanted her to get used to sleeping in a bed without falling out. She fell out (we put pillows down) three times but after that she has not fallen out. She also does not get out of her crib even in the morning. I don't think she has realized that she can just get out when she wants!

So we did it in this order: binki, potty trained then big girl bed and it worked for us but I would do what you think is best for your daughter and it will all work out! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi, I am a mother of a 3 y/o girl and a 2 y/o boy. We first put our little girl into the big girl bed. We used the side railings to help keep her in the bed and to avoid her rolling off the bed. She loved the big girl bed and right after, she was ok with getting rid of the binky. We previously tried the whole binky fairy etc... options and she didnt fall for it. Her binky began to get really gross, yucky looking and we told her that it was going to make her sick. She was ok with it and gave it to us, when she tried to ask for a binky again, we would give her the same gross, yucky looking one and tell her its going tomake her sick, maybe two days of that and she didnt want it anymore because of how it looked. We were extremely surprised and now going to try the same with our son.
If your daughter is showing signs of potty training and you see that she doesnt have wet diapers at certain times of the day, thats when we would put little panties of her and then ask her constantly, if she had to go the bathroom, and we would put her on the toiet even if she didnt need to go. Potty training for our daughter was easier than I thought and didnt last long either. We also bought her panties with her favorite character, Dora on them, she loved it.
I hope your transitions all come together just as easy as mine did. Now I have to work on my son, he will turn 2 on the 15th, he is already in the big boy bed and loves it, but shows no interest in potty training. He only wants his binky at bed time and has gone to bed once without it, so hopefully the binky wont be too hard. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

We moved our twins to big girl beds at about 20 months, we actually took the door knob off on their side of the door only, and they cant get out.They don't have binkys but they have blankets with silky edges that they suck on to go to sleep. We have had to limit the blanky sucking to bed time only, it was rough but it's gotten better. We are going to keep the blankys around for a while since my husband said it will be a good tool when they are big enough to understand if you are not being good you will lose the blanky for a day. We are starting potty training next week when they turn 2. I don't see why the binky is a problem if you keep it for bed time only. Kids adjust easily. Try and do one thing at a time, it's hard for anyone to have too many huge changes all at once.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Kind of a cute question, it made me chuckle.

All I can say is if I were trying these all at once I'd definitely leave the binky for last.

You reminded me that MY binky-addict daughter used to talk through the binky, and believe me at 15 her verbal skills are fine, so don't worry about that.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

This is a hard question, since you could use the transition to the big girl bed as a sign that she is a big girl and doesn't need the binky anymore. You could send all the binky's to some babies who need them etc. That will only work if she is very excited about getting her new bed. If she has any anxiety about the transition, I would wait until she is settled in her big girl bed to take away the binky. The transition to a bed is usually a pretty quick one, for my son it was two nights, and it was like he had always been sleeping in the bed, so since that transition will probably be quicker than getting rid of the binky, you may just want to do that one first. (We also used the baby gate on the door method too, since my son was a wanderer) Before you take away the binky, you need to do it gradually if she is using it all day long. My daughter (22 months) knows the binky is only for sleeping, so she throws it back in her crib when we get her up from nap and in the morning. She is only allowed to have it in her bed. I don't even take it out with us anymore, since she needs to learn other ways to cope when she is uncomfortable. She has been fine with this change and it has been about 4 months, now I just need to be brave and take it away for bed. Potty training is an ongoing process so I wouldn't use that as something that needs to be complete before taking away the binky. You can have a lot of setbacks with potty training, and it is really under her control, she isn't going to do it until she wants to once she learns how to control it. My son was perfectly capable of it at 2, but was almost 3 before he wanted to do it regularly. My daughter is doing well with it now, but I have to be on her, so it is really me who is potty trained. Anyways, so I guess my advice is, it depends on your daughter. If you think the big girl bed will be a hard transition for her, then wait until after, then take away the binky, then potty train. If you think she will be excited about the transition, then do the binky first, then bed, then potty training. One last thing, it is a good idea to prepare her for taking away the binky, we picked a date and did a paper chain with my son, every day taking off one more piece so he had a way to tell that binky bye bye was coming. We took my son's away much younger (16 months) but he wasn't nearly as attached as our daughter. For us, taking it away from him was much less traumatic than we anticipated, and had only one night where he was crying because he didn't have it. We took his away then introduced the big boy bed, and it was fine. We have picked my daughter's second birthday to take away her paci, and she has already told us that no, she likes her paci's. I think for her it will be much harder, but you just have to stick to your decision. We keep reminding her that she doesn't need them, that she is a big girl now etc. She is much more stubborn, so I anticipate at least a few long nights, but hopefully that is all it will take. We are on the fence as to when to convert her crib to a toddler bed. My husband thinks now, I would prefer to wait since she hasn't climbed out yet. Let us know what you decide and how it goes, as we will be doing the same very soon and would love to see how it works out for you.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

We just went through this with our youngest. She was a HUGE binky addict, so I know where you're coming from. In her case unfortunately, the binky had to come first because our dentist said it was affecting her jaw formation (you could see that her teeth were coming in all screwed up). So we had to do binky first. Actually I cut the tip off the binky and let her keep having it, and within a week she didn't want it anymore.

But I digress. The order I would do this in would be: Big girl bed, potty training, binky. But there's no reason you can't do the bed and potty training at the same time. I mean, if you're going to upset the apple cart, you might as well get it all overwith at once. Since she'll be in the same bed she's in now, minus one side, it's not likely to be that big of a change for her. (At least, it wasn't for my kids...)

Good luck!!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches