What Does Your Teen Eat for Lunch

Updated on October 24, 2012
T.D. asks from Aurora, IL
14 answers

Is this a battle I fight or walk away from?

I have a 14 year old daughter that only wants to eat sugary, snacky foods. I have been trying really hard this year to have healthier eating habits for my family. I don't buy junk food but do buy a few packaged snacks that I like to keep around for occasional convenience (ie peanut butter crackers). The problem is that my teen is stealing the snacks and closet eats every chance she gets.

I make a healthy balanced dinner each night. She eats dinner just great. She eats breakfast okay. Lunch and snacks are the main problem. She eats junk food at school from the cafeteria. I load her lunch card with about $10 a month so she can buy lunch once in a while. The rest of the time she is expected to pack and bring lunch. She thinks an apple and package of crackers is fine. She is starving by the time she comes home and expects to eat junk then. I do not let her.

My husband thinks I need to lay off the lunch monitoring. What are other teens eating for lunch? It really bothers me that so much junk is available from the school cafeteria. My daughter will buy ice cream sandwiches and potato chips and call it lunch.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thank you. I appreciate all the responses. My husband has a great opinion about our daughter and her eating habits. I do agree with him and all the responses. It goes against the grain for me to just let it go but I will try harder to. I think I will try to have something ready for her to eat after lunch everyday that will include some of the healthier things I'd like to see her including in her diet but leave the lunch issue alone.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I am 100% out of my son's lunch choices. He's 16, & knows what is best. I cannot be there each day, I refuse to pack his lunch.....

The End. :)

For snacks, he enjoys both junk & healthy foods. His choice, unless I think it's too close to dinner.

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J.T.

answers from Little Rock on

I can't say for sure how your daughter's school operates, but my son's school does not offer junk food or snack bar lines. It's trays or you eat from home-that's it. I pay for our son to eat at school. I would prefer him to have a hot meal than something cold from the house. I think nutrition is important, but I am not opposed to snacks or the ocasional junk item. I think teaching teens moderation and excercise is more important. We always have junk in our house-but none of us are overweight or close to it. Teens have a crazy high metabolism (which I am seriously jealous of) that allows for the cheats during the day.
Just FYI- My son has mentioned girls that go to his school not eating anything at all because there moms are trying to overly dictate what they eat. They sneak food from friends or eat nothing at all. I personally think there is way too much emphasis on what kids are putting into their bodies-and eating disorders have dramatically increased because of it. Would you want someone else to pack you pickled eggs and celery for lunch because they thought was healthier for you? I say that half jokingly because I think food preference is like personalities-there are a lot of different opinions.
I understand your concern for healthy habits as a mom, but by being overly involved you don't want her going to the opposite extremes. Finding a happy middle ground that is suitable for you both will cut out the closet eating and be longer lasting. Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

The thermos is my son's best friend. He loves left over dinner..or chili..or chicken noodle soup in it. It can be used for cold food too! We get him involved in his food choices for lunch. We don't let them buy food at school..it is mostly.

I am gonna have to side with your husband on this one...but I TOTALLY understand your concern. But..you have got to let her make food choices at home. Don't make a big deal about food...it really does lead to binge eating, hiding food, and a bad relationship with food.

Make sure there are healthy choices to pick as she packs her lunch and casually talk about the healthier foods and their benefits. Our daughter could snack on carbs all day. We just informally talk about the vitamins and minerals in foods. We have dessert almost every night after dinner so they don't feel the need to binge during the day. We have found that this has helped tremendously and they have started self monitoring . I couldn't believe it the other day when I heard my carb/sugar girl pass on a cookie because she knew she wanted a big piece of cake later.

That is what we want them to learn on their own.

Good luck. I feel for ya. It is hard to watch our kids make not so healthy choices in food. But don't become a food nazi. It will backfire on you in many ways.

3 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

If an apple and a pack of peanut butter crackers is what she is happy with at school for lunch, let her. There is a bit of protein (not much, but some) in the peanut butter crackers, and the fiber in the apple is good.
Don't hyper supervise this. Don't focus TOO much on what she is eating every single day.

If you want to encourage healthier eating after she gets home and is starving, have something ready for her, or have a list of things she is supposed to choose from. A 1/4 cup of nuts before she is allowed anything else, for example. The hunger comes from too little protein, most likely. Nuts are a great way to solve that. Or greek yogurt! Then keep lots of fresh cold fruit on hand (my favorites were always seedless grapes... red or green, didn't matter). Or clementines. But she has got to ingest some protein or she will just keep grazing and never feel satisfied....

When I was in high school, a pack of peanut butter crackers and a can of soda WAS my lunch. Or McD's (since as seniors we could leave campus to get lunch if we wanted).

I have a 14 yr old son, and he eats from the cafeteria daily. He typically eats a chicken sandwich and fries, with a side salad (bowl of lettuce). Or nuggets and the sides. Or a hamburger and the sides. He eats a zone bar for breakfast, or I make him a couple of eggs in the morning, and he eats relatively healthfully for dinner meals.... so if lunch isn't the greatest... it's ok. Like with little kids and us adults, it isn't any ONE meal that will make or break our health.
But forcing the issue too much, can turn it into a power struggle over food, which is not a good thing to do with a young teen girl.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter is almost 17, and rarely eats breakfast or lunch :(
Sometimes she will take a sandwich if I make it for her, but mostly she says she doesn't care, she will just wait to eat until she gets home. Of course she is STARVING when she gets home and eats a lot then (she gets out of school at 2:10.) Sometimes she spends her own money on healthy or not so healthy snacks, but I figure that's HER money to spend as she pleases.
I hate to say it but it's hard to keep "forbidden" foods around the house because they WILL "steal" them. My youngest is really bad when it comes to sugar, especially ice cream or cookies, so I just don't keep them around the house, which sucks for me because I can control myself lol! So now an ice cream cone or a doughnut is something we go out for, and we only have cookies when I bake them. Oh, and my oldest would fill up on nachos if I let her so again, tortilla chips and cheese are things I don't buy too much of.
One thing that both of my girls love and have almost every day is fruit smoothies. They use frozen strawberries, orange and cranberry juice and sometimes banana or pineapple. Maybe your daughter would like that as an after school "treat?"

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My niece used to eat a package of Otis Spunkmeyer cookies everyday for lunch. It seems that most of the kids are eating junk and very little else according to her friends, etc. I agree that there is too much junk offered at school, but there isn't much you can do about her taking more to school or eating it even if she does. I agree to lay off a little bit, but I see nothing wrong with not allowing her to eat junk as soon as she gets home.

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S.E.

answers from New York on

once i hit highschool i never packed a lunch.. we were allowed to go out on our lunch period so usually lunch was a bagel with cream cheese or a slice of pizza or some kind of sandwich.. this may sound crazy to u, but could it be that her friends all dont eat much at lunch so she doesnt want to either?? i mean does she have friends that are like "omg ill get fat if i eat more than a cracker".. when i was packing a lunch it was always a sandwich, chips or fruitsnacks and a drink..

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

I remember eating that way, too. I make my 17 yr olds lunch but at least 1/2 the time he just skips lunch or has a protein bar that I keep in his back pack. He likes to get homework during lunch. I pack a peanut butter sandwich, Pringles, small fruit juice and a desert. probably too much sugar, but he will eat it on occasion.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I disagree with your husband. I think food is a BIG battle, and worth picking. Your gut is the key to your health. If she is craving carbs, junk, and sugar, then something is wrong, and likely yeast is overtaking her system.

I spare no expense on food, and only real food crosses the threshold in our house. My kids get the occasional piece of organic candy or a dessert at a restaurant (we are super picky about eating out, when we do), and they can tell me firsthand that eating junk makes them feel bad now. When you are constantly eating junk though, you don't realize HOW bad it makes you feel- you're in a perpetual fog, perpetually bingeing/craving, and it weakens your immune system.

For the person who said the peanut butter crackers have some protein: Chances are, it's not even real peanut butter. Packaged food usually has so many fillers that it isn't even food after it's all said and done.

I would take her to someone who can test her for food allergies- often the things we crave most are the issue. Homeopathic or more holistic doctors can test and can help heal her gut. I would stop buying anything that isn't real food- a banana, apple, or orange is sugary enough and portable enough, and can replace crackers and chips. If it's salt she's craving, buy nuts with nothing but real sea salt.

I would also get her into the garden and kitchen, if you haven't already. Teaching kids where food comes from and how to prepare it, makes the battle a LOT easier. Watch Food Inc and the other movies about where processed food comes from. Let her read Omnivore's Dilemma (there is a YA version) and Fast Food Nation. Those things will say it better than a parent ever could.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter brings an apple and protein bar to school everyday. Drives me nuts but I remembering eating a bag of cheese doodles and drinking a 4 oz container of ice tea everyday through HS so I guess she will survive. My daughter comes home starving too!

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

I remember in high school, thinking I could get by on next to nothing at lunch. And then I came home famished. Looking back, I wish I would have just packed myself a sandwich - any kind. I know it negatively effected my ability to focus and do well in sports.

I insist that my kids eat a well balanced meal, even if it's small. Protein, carb, fruit/veggie. And then they can have a snack. No snacks until that meal requirement is met. And just for the record, my kids are underweight, so I know this approach will not pack on any lbs. But my kids are very involved in sports. Which is the real reason I demand a balanced meal.

GL!

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

My son's school is like JT posted. Also, he is something of a health food freak. He reads the labels on everything, and won't eat food with too much sugar. He (we) buy food the school offers, and then he complains about how unhealthy it is. It isn't bad, though. He usually gets a chicken sandwich or something, and drinks bottled water.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

My mother did not monitor what I ate as a pre-teen and teenager, so to this day I am fighting weight issues. Studies show it's a lot easier never to gain the weight then it is to lose it. Even weight is not the concern, unhealthy foods make unhealthy people. Just don't make the food into "forbidden fruit".

The closet eating is very worrying though. Talk to your pedi about it as it may mean she linking eating to emotional issues and that can have lifelong repercussions.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 17 and a Senior. At her school, it is only Juniors and Seniors and you can leave campus for lunch. Sometimes, she does this but not often.... most especially, she will not drive if she goes off campus to lunch because she leaves at 7:15 am to get to school to get her parking spot and her first class is at 9!

Most of the time, she has a water bottle/Vitamin water and assorted fruit snacks, protein bars, etc. She does eat a good breakfast and she does come home starving. She is in Varsity cheer so she is in practice from 2:30-4:30 daily. Her school day is appx 7:15-5 unless there is a game (volleyball/basketball, etc) and those keep her out until about 10pm unless it is football and those are later but on Friday nights. She gets home about 5 and I have something ready for her that is hot or ready to be heated when she gets home to unwind.

Some favorites are homemade marinara and pasta, caprese salad, sausage balls, burger, grilled cheese, Stouffers lasagna, salmon, veggie soup, minestrone soup, chili, beef stew... all homemade, etc.

As for the junk food, we just don't eat it often at all. Even as a toddler, you could offer her an apple or candy and she'd pick the apple. We don't do desserts at meals either. Very rarely will we induldge in a dessert.

I couldn't tell you what is in the Sr high school cafeteria because her spending acocunt has not budged for 2 yrs so I know she is not buying anything there. They do have "stay in's" about once a month where companies bring food in and it is a huge hit... BBQ, Chick Filet, Deli places, etc.

I don't monitor her eating habits because she is old enough to know the cause and effect of eating junk which is lower energy, weight,gain, etc. She is very keen on staying healthy, especially as an athlete. It is a battle I chose not to fight because it is just 1 more thing the teen sees as mom policing her.

Maybe lay off the battle of policing her eating habits for a little while and see if something changes? As for stealing and hoarding food.. I would put a stop to that, not healthy at all.

Make sure she has healthy choices when she gets home from school.

Good luck... teen girls are not easy but it is worth it in the long run!!

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