What Do You Do with Your Tween....

she's at that age where she's trying to prove she's not a little kid anymore. My daughter is now 15 and loves to do crafts and projects - Pinterest is her obsession. Instead of board games, what about playing cards? Take her for a drive to look at wildlife or whatever to disconnect and talk. Put her in charge of dinner or dessert - let her find the recipe, make a list, etc. My kids thought it was pretty cool and then I got to help them. Watch a movie together. She's not going to engage with you 24/7 b/c she is at that age where friends become very important, but make the time and effort to remain a part of it.

My 13 year old likes to go for walks with me in the evenings and we play rummy and other card games together a lot. She also has taken up embroidery and will work out with me to Just Dance for wii. She doesn't really enjoy other wii games but will do that with me.

How about some volunteering together? A community garden, senior meals on wheels, read alouds in the children's ward, walking dogs in the shelter etc, clean up the park/ the beach, clean up the highway.

It will occupy your day. It might be gratifying, and it will get you both out of the house.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

When my daughter was 13 I must have spent 40 weekends/year at softball tournaments plus practices during the week with her. We also loved music, talking, swimming, talking, our pets, talking, traveling, hanging with friends and volunteering.

Fun times!

Family bike rides. Yoga. Pedicure/spa day. Family movie night. Shopping.

I have an almost 11 year old and an almost 15 year old. They are both girls and really active in their own lives but we are very close and spend lots of time together. Here's stuff we do...

Go for a walk/hike
Play catch (little one pitches to me regularly)
Watch a movie
Go shopping
Go to lunch
Work in the garden
Mani/pedis-salon or even at home is fun
Thrift store shopping
Go to the library or bookstore
Go to the beach
Workout together at gym (only the big one is allowed but the little one can't wait till she can come too)
Yoga
Listen to music, she picks a few songs/I pick a few
Cook or bake together

Talk, talk, talk and listen, listen listen. I've found that the more time spent together just hanging out the more I get to hear about what's really going on in her life, at school and with her friends (mostly the 14 year old, the little one never stops talking!)

It's so important to stay connected and communicating, you're enter the teen phase. Everyone needs privacy and their own social life but I take it as a huge compliment that our teen spends a lot more time upstairs in our great room then she does downstairs in her own room. Remember what you're doing is less important then what she's saying!

I turn off the electronics and have our son come help me in the garden.
He can pull weeds or gather up what I've pulled up for the compost pile.
He can spray Roundup around the planters.
He helps water and picks veggies.
He carries tools/mulch/materials around the yard for me.
Etc.
We all get some fresh air, a little sunshine, a little sweaty and dirty, and the yard looks great - and we get a chance to talk.
Never does ANYONE get endless hours of video anything in our house.

My daughter and I can watch Supernatural together for hours. Or Game of Thrones. Or a host of other programs.
You don't have to entertain her. She's at an age where it's natural for her to pull away from you and want to do her own thing (and explore to figure out what her own thing is).
If she's happy, then it ain't broke, so stop trying to fix it.

why don't you just try new activities every month or two. Maybe music lessons one month, tennis, horses, photography, jewelry making and see if she likes anything. It is a short term comittment and then see what happens. Volunteer at an animal shelter, or homeless shelter, what about a reading club? Take yoga or line dancing, or what about a biking or hiking. have a board game/card night or movie night.... scrapbook together. make cards.... try out new recipes and have a themed dinner once a month. Invite moms and daughters and have a party (casual) everybody bring their favorite pizza or appetizer. Make an ornament a month with friends and everyone has 12 new ornaments for Christmas. Do a cookie exchange party.........hope some of this helps. Have fun

Not sure what your town and local communities have to offer like, Museums, Art gallerias, Universities, Gardens. Parks, Historic places, concerts. Get out a calendar and schedule small outings. Take a cooler so you can eat at a different park each time.

Make up a schedule of events.

See if there is a Red Cross Babysitting class. She could then babysit, young children or elementary aged children. Take a first adide class together.

Also find some places to volunteer.. at least once a week.

Think of a home project. Paint her room, paint a pieces of furniture and sell it on craigslist. Work on making the back yard a fun area. A place for meals, a place to entertain.

We used to plot out the summer movies so we would know what movie to see that week.

Have her plan at least one meal a week. Give her a budget.. She can go grocery shopping, then Have her make the meal. If she enjoys being creative, have her set up the table.. Our daughter loved using our good china.. etc.. for meals.

I have been getting back into cross stitching. I do not do the traditional..
I do The humorous, or subversive cross stitching. I make them and save them for when I need a funny gift. I place the stitching in a frame.

Have her design Christmas cards for the family, or little Christmas gift tags.

Our daughter used to design tshirts. She would either draw them or do them on the computer and then purchase the iron on transfers.. Tshirts can now be ordered online for pretty cheap.. so she could email her designs. Make sure her signature is on them, so she can prove she designed them.

I had a friend that liked to have her kids do science projects during the summers. They would then take notes, photos etc.. so that while the Science fair was going on during the actual school year, they could then go through their summer projects and compare results etc.. They had more information and knew what science projects they wanted to do.

Have her organize the family photos.

I have always wanted to learn to knit. Our daughter learned while in High School.. She and a group used to knit scarves.. to donate.. There are so many great patterns..

I love Pinterest for inspiration.

She likes to read.. get a good book series and both read them and talk about them. Or join a book club together.

Make a scrap book. ? Even if it is from pics when she was younger. Or from her school awards.

Take a sewing class together?

Just a few thoughts.

An evening walk around the neighborhood

Volunteer together

gardening

Assuming you can properly care for one, get a puppy.

This will serve 2 purposes: 1) you will have something new to worry about; and 2) you will have something to coo and marvel over together.

This truly did work for me, though my sons were teens and not tweens.

Otherwise I think you're worrying about it too much.

JMO.

My late Dad, was GOOD at engaging me or interacting with me and staying connected.
The best time was, when he was watching tv or we were... and he would use this time to CHAT with me. About anything, taking my lead or just coming up with what he knew was on my mind. But the thing is, he knew his kids' cues and/or if something was up or bothering us or that we needed to talk. Or we'd go on drives together and that is when we'd really just chat. Chat. Not lectures or he prodding me. But parent/child chats about anything. And nothing was forced or awkward.
My Mom on the other hand, was not good at things like this.
She didn't really connect with us. Even if we did things together.

My dd loves to make movies with her ipod touch. She props it up and does gymnastics videos. She also likes to organize her room and her jewelry. She is also into doing her hair...learning all these new braids, etc.

~Go together & get a Mani/Pedi!
~Go to or rent a movie!
~Go to lunch!
~Go to Target and shop!
~Go to the bookstore!
~Go to and lay out by the pool/lake/river/beach!
~Blast the music & dance around the house!
~Go roller or ice skating!
~Teach her how to sew, she can make new curtains or throw pillows for her room?
~Take her grocery shopping with you?

Anything really? Just include her in all the stuff you do & start talking!

At that age, she should be able to figure out what to do with herself. Where are her friends?

Do each other's nails.
Play with each other's hair (and that means let her style yours, too).
Play higher level board games. Instead of chutes and ladders (or plain old Scrabble) try out Settlers of Catan. Our whole family loves that. But, with just 2 people it is less fun. A lot of games are like that. Can you invite a friend or two to play also?

Plant some vegetables and flowers together. Let her help you shop for the seeds or plants.

-Have her put down her electronics for dinner time & try to have casual
conversation
-Limit her time on the electronics.
-Try to go do some things together that you know she would enjoy like
seeing a movie
-Go get pedicures together
-The best time to engage your child in talking with you is when you are
doing something together so the conversation seems "off hand". You
are not staring at each other across a table. Maybe you are biking or
walking together.
-At her age she is most likely not going to be interested in crafts anymore
-That's okay just find a new interest of hers that you can do together
-Have her invite a friend over to your house to hang out.
-Let her have time in her room (I liked doing this at her age) but have her
leave her electronics out in the entry way or kitchen.
-She can assert her independence (try out her wings) but you get to set
the limit & boundaries being her parent. Find a good medium.

Go for hikes, go swimming together, make a dessert together, create a video or animation together, take her to the movies, go to the lake or beach with a picnic, bike riding together, read a book to her, buy some large canvases at the craft store and paint pictures for her room, road trip to the outlet mall, play a video game with her that she likes.

Have her paint your fingernails, or you do hers. You could get on Pinterest and look up makeup tutorials, and practice them together. You could also try some of the things like up cycling t-shirts or such.

You could try planting a garden... Even a small one in containers.

Maybe you could both take up a hobby together, like jewelry making or photography - or a fitness class, like yoga.

Have you tried different board games? We love Blokus, Qwirkle, Mastermind, Yatzhee, Game of Life.