What Do I Do - Phoenix,AZ

From someone who has been where you are, the best thing I can tell you is to follow your gut instincts. Yes, men and women can be friends, but if your gut tells you something is wrong then follow it.
Men don't always know (or admit) when a women is interested in them. Try inviting her over to your home for dinner and befriend her. Maybe she can call you for her crises. If she is not interested in your friendship then that tells you something.
Tell him that "YOU" have a problem with his relationship with her and if it continues _______________. If you make it your problem it makes it easier to for men to handle.

Remember what they say..."Keep your friends close and your ememies closer"

Good luck

Hey I can relate. I suggest you get to know her, all of my husbands' girl-friends became MY friends, simple as that. The one who was really close with him, is much closer to me now, and I'm very happy about that.
One question, is she married? That kinda changes the picture, if she is perfect you have a double date couple if not hook her up with one of your husbands' friends. Keep your boundries, without shame, he is your husband and not hers. Invite her to go shopping or to a movie without your husband. God bless, T.

OK i have been in this situation before and i put my foot down hard. I told him and her if she was such a good "friend" she needs to back off and respect our marriage and if she couldn't do that i gave my husband the altimadum and he changed his cell number so she couldn't reach him and now she has found him on myspace but she has learned her spot in our marriage. and it's working now. your husband also needs to respect your feelings to in regards to this and listen to what you are saying to him and stoping hearing what you are saying. well i wish you the best of luck with the situation. If you want to talk just message me back i am 25 and i spent 1 1/2 years going through the same thing you are.

Please know this is meant in the best possible way.....Maybe you are overreacting. If you trust him, what is the difference if his friend is a girl or a guy? If you really think about it, a guy can/might actually cause more damage. Considering this relationship existed before your relationship maybe you should try to get to know her better. If he enjoys her friendship and loves you, she must have some qualities that is admirable. When you are not invited, sometimes, invite yourself. Of course I don't think you should always have to be there...everyone needs private time with other people/friends/family. The bottom line is your relationship, with regards to this girl, is having problematic issues--don't make them worse. Instead, figure out how to work with each other. Forcing him to end a friendship that you believe is without malice will ultimately make him resent you. Honestly try to put the shoe on the other foot, how would you feel if you had a good friend that your husband insisted that you end your relationship even though he states that he believes that your not messing around but he just has something he doesn't like about him/her.
If you thought that he was screwing around then I could understand but otherwise I think you need to put this matter into perspective and move on. Marriage and kids are hard enough without making it harder for each other.

Good Luck!

J.,

You are VERY right to not like this situation. Trust your gut. Any woman who does not respect your wishes that she not contact your husband does not have good intentions. Marriage is honorable. And your husband should not have close connections with any other woman. You are his best friend. You are his wife. There's too much temptation there. I don't know if you pray, but if you don't you need to start. There are some really awesome marriage ministries in this city. In fact, there is one called Ignited. Your husband may not receive advice coming from you. He may question your intentions. However, advice from an older, wiser man may resonate with him. Email Karen for the marriage class dates and times. Her email address is ____@____.com's VERY important that you seek help ASAP. IT IS NOT OKAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

J.,
My best friend is a man, He is the bests thing that has ever happened to me in my life, sometimes we can over react as woman but if your gut tells you something is not right within there relationship then you need to go with that gut feeling. Like others have said befriend her, if she is responsive then go with it but if she gives you the cold shoulder then something is not right within there relationship.Woman can have a strong friendship with a man it truely is possible. The way I look at it his best friend is threatened by his marriage to you. You have something that she doesnt have! That might be the only issue. I hope it all works out for your relationship!

Jen B

I don't feel that you are over reacting. You are his wife and respect he should pay. If he loves you and you feel that this woman is threatening the security of your marriage. Then your husband needs to step up to the plate of his vows and inform this drama queen that out of respect for you he will no longer be engaging in conversations with her. If he doesn't feel he should have to do this for your security then maybe seeking a marriage counselor would be benefical to the cause.

Hi J.,
I'm so sorry for the situation your in. I don't think it's right. I'm sure he's not cheating, but I feel when you get a close emotional bond with someone besides your significant other, that is also cheating or could eventually lead to more. I think you have every right to feel the way you do. If I were in your situation I would feel the same way and I would demand that he not talk to her anymore. Were they friends before you two got married? If this is a new relationship (newer than your marriage) I think it's definatly not right. I don't think your being insecure at all. He should show you more respect as his wife. I wish you the best of luck! It's hard to give advise on this issue. Men are stubborn! Don't let it ruin your marriage but I would also keep your stand. Keep reminding him how this makes you feel. If he doesnt get it, maybe you need to go make a male friend of your own and show him how it feels.

Take Care!! :)