What Are You Hiding Under Your Clothes?

Updated on December 12, 2011
L.A. asks from Kyle, TX
16 answers

Ok, I am the crazy mom that posted a while back about my "underpants malfunction" a few weeks ago.. Well last night I had a sort of tragic problem and prayed I did not end up in an accident. I would have died of embarrassment if people had seen what was going on under my clothing. .

We were at an event at a really nice hotel last night.. I knew what I was going to wear, but as I got dressed. I noticed I could not find the "lift inserts" for my bra.. I needed them so my boobs would not be sitting on top of my belly all night.

Problem is, I could not find them.!. I searched and searched where they are usually kept, I even went into our daughters room to look around. no where.. Ugh! So is got 2 pairs of my husbands socks and placed them in my bra in the "pockets" Wear the real inserts should be placed.

As we were driving to the even, I let my husband into the secret and told him to please try to not let anything happen to me so I would not end up in the ER with his socks in my bra.

He asked it the inserts were those plastic things that looked like they were not filled enough with air?I said yes!!! Do you know where they are? He said, well I found them under daughters bed so I threw them away! I thought they were just something the companies put in bras for shipping, like the tissue inside of shoes!

I emailed our daughter and she said she wondered where those had gone.. Ugh...

The socks worked but I was worried they were going to slip out and I would have to leave them on the floor and pretend I had no idea where they came from.

So what are you all worried that the ER might find under your clothes? Have you ever had to just make do?

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So What Happened?

Patty, Ha! I have a friend that says she is "Sasquatch" down there if she does not get her waxing done.

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answers from Spartanburg on

Right now my hair...I haven't waxed in over 2 months and my appointment for a wax in on tuesday. I am being soo careful while driving....;-)

Added: LOL L.! My legs are scary right now!!!

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answers from Charlotte on

So funny, L.! I thought you were going to mention Depends or something!

My mom, when I was a little girl, didn't have time to tease her hair to get it to lift for her particular hairdo. So she pushed a wad of her hose under her hair to get it to lift. We were having dinner at someone's house, and I looked over and saw my mom's house hanging out of her hair. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't say anything until we got home. My poor mom was mortified.

I don't know why I didn't say anything - I was in the 5th grade, and I should have done it.

I have worried about wearing a Spanx and the ER trying to get them off of me. Not so bad as wearing a maxi pad when I used to have periods, but still...!!


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answers from Redding on

I wear Hane's little boy boxer briefs.

It's not as crazy as it sounds, but my mother was mortified.
A co-worker was telling me about her bra troubles and I told her about my underwear secret. You'd think I admitted to nude mud wrestling on the weekends or something so I just pretended I was joking.

Maybe they have boxer briefs for women, I don't know. Boy boxer briefs fit me, they're comfortable, they don't ride up...no panty lines.

Having worked in hospitals, believe me, they've seen stranger things than socks in a bra.
Or a small woman wearing boy underwear.

Looks like your crisis was averted anyway.
You could always say you had nowhere to keep extra socks if your feet got cold.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Richmond on

LMAO L.!! You poor thing... I hope you can laugh about this later ;)

Aside from saggy post baby boobies, my stomach is GROOOOSS. Even my 8 year old asked me last week 'Mom, when are you getting that extra skin cut off?'... Um, thanks kid, as soon as I win the lottery [eye roll]...

The thing is, ER personnel, EMT'S, doctors, nurses, you name it... no matter WHAT, they've seen worse, they've seen crazier, they've done and seen some pretty unmentionable things.

When I was an EMT, there was this one homeless dude who used to 'play dead' outside of various stores once a month so someone would call 911... he just wanted a free ride to the hospital and a free bath... a sponge bath... preferably by some pretty nurses. No freaking lie. And lucky me, I was doing my ER hours when he started doing this. We'd actually had to put his clothing in biohazard bags... EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

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answers from Washington DC on

Nothing but a belly and stretch marks I've been trying to strategically hide. Or maybe my ugly "everything else is in the wash" underpants.

Friend is an ER nurse. She says she loves the challenge but compared to L&D the people smell really bad. I think if you had a bath in the last week, you'll be better than a lot of their patients!

I think Santa owes you some new bra inserts!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Lakeland on

That’s funny. I have so many RN's in the family and one surgeon. Believe me they see much worse things in the ER.
I still can't believe what adults will put into the orifices of their bodies. Kids it is expected, lol.
I had to take my hubby to the ER once and I had to remind him to put on boxers, he usually doesn't were any underwear.

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answers from Dallas on

I was going to a very upscale outing, invitation only, to the Mercedes dealership with the rollout of a new sport car. TV cameras, diamond dealers, models, you name it... VERY nice.

I have a dress that is perfect but I needed my half slip so the silky dress would not stick to my rear all night. I knew I had an old half slip but it was no where to be found.

SO, out of desperation, I wore my PJ short shorts which are soft and much like the slip material and they worked great. I was afraid at first that the shorts would be too long but they were short enough to be the perfect length.

The next day, I bought myself another half slip!

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answers from San Francisco on

On days that I don't shower, and wear the same underwear for two days, I often think I hope I don't end up in the ER.

I guess I should just change my undies, just in case.

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answers from Minneapolis on

What am I hiding under my clothes? As little as possible! I almost never wear a bra, and in the summer rarely wear underwear. (Outside of work, of course).

Has it ever gotten me in trouble? Well, there was that one time I was riding bike with my daughter wearing just a sun dress and sandals. She was 8 and riding in front of me. She went off the paved path and I was so worried she was going to tip over, that I lost track of what I was doing, and sure enough, went right over - heels over head!! Several guys came running to "help"!

She reminds me of this incident periodically...I haven't ridden bike without undies since!

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answers from Albany on

Tehehe, hilarious story!

Believe me, no one WANTS to know what's under MY clothes these days!


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answers from Pittsburgh on

LOL I can relate. :)
For me, it might be a safety pin here or there....or a less than stellar condition tank under a sweater......or undies that are still hanging around WAY past their "expiration date!

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answers from Seattle on

I'm with Patty, right now. It's Yeti Time.

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answers from Baton Rouge on

I couldn't care less. If I'm hurt badly enough to land in the ER, I don't care if my underwear is ragged or if I'm not wearing any. As for it being clean, as Bill Cosby used to say, "If I'm in a wreck bad enough to send me to the hospital, they're not gonna stay clean."

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answers from Savannah on

That was awesome. I needed that laugh.

Hmm. I'm guilty of wearing ancient, worn, thready bras or panties occasionally (laundry day or in a bad mood and that's what I FEEL like wearing...like a secret rebellion against society and all that my mom taught me?). Other than that, nothing really. I've noticed that when my husband does the laundry, holy socks or whatever disappear. I insist they're more comfortable (because they're barely touching me anymore, lol...he knows not to waste time arguing with me, he just throws them out. I know he did the right thing, so it's never mentioned. :)
I didn't know they made inserts. I TOTALLY would have thought those were trash if I found them somewhere.

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answers from Minneapolis on

My husband just asked me the other day to take time to go underwear shopping... mine are old (I haven't bought any since 2006) and my sad bra's barely fit after I've lost the end of the baby weight this past year....

You are motiviating me to take time to get this done!


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answers from Chicago on

My mother chose a dress with lace insets in the back right where the bra strap goes for my half-brother's wedding. Her plan was to wear "pasties", the bra cups that you simply stick on. Well, of course, THEY WOULDN'T STICK. My dad ran to the local hardware store and returned with some duct tape. It worked, but mom was slightly distracted throughout the wedding, as were all who knew of her secret!!!

Next question: Shorts Under Dresses?!