What Age to Start Preschool

Updated on March 07, 2008
H.A. asks from Clayton, NC
23 answers

I had planned to start sending my daughter to Preschool this coming fall - she will be just over 2.5 years old. I was not wanting to send her for my sake - but rather for her sake. I think she needs to learn to interact and play without me always there to sort things out for her. My family supports this but are not pushing it. Many of my friends think it is too early and that I should wait until she is 3. I am just not sure anymore. I am looking into 2 day programs and a one morning a week MMO (Mommies Morning Out) program. I would like that the most, but it is hard to get into since it is a coop. Does anyone have any advice?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the good advice and helpful tips! I have decided to start looking into a program that will be 2 mornings a week at a local church. I am not sure if either of us are ready, but I want to sign her up and see how we feel in the summer. She is very social and loves to play and interact with other children her age and older and with adults (we do several playgroups and activities each week with the MOMS Club). She does not do well with babies so places like the Little Gym are hard because there is almost always a younger sibling there and she cannot focus on anything else - anyway - thank you all so much! We are going to try to sign her up for a proper pre-school rather than a MMO, I think - so it is more structured and not a coop situation with different rules and expectations depending on what mom is running the class that week. I think she will grow and thrive if she knows what to expect and likes her teacher. And we might toss it all out of the window in the fall if it does not work out - LOL :)

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J.C.

answers from Raleigh on

H.,

I started my little boy two mornings a week when he was around 2 and I think it was great for him, it gave him a chance to interact with other kids and not just me all day.

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C.M.

answers from Greensboro on

Hey H.--I started my daughter in pre-school at one because I had to. I really did have to go back to work in order for us to make it financially. I was lucky enough that I had family who could stay with her through the first year.

I think its great that you want to give her some time to socialize with other kids. It will be good for her growth and development. But this is not a sink or swim thing. You can do it gradually and on your own terms. There are equally good things about putting her in pre-school and keeping her at home. Both are fantastic options.

Find a program that's half day or two days a week or one or two mornings a week. You could look for a home-based place that only has a few children. You could join a play group so that she would get socialization with you there. OR you could start your own! There are so many options between putting her in or keeping her out.

My daugher is in a terrific program---Early Childhood Center run by West Market Street United Methodist Church. It is a loving and supportive place for the entire family. You can volunteer there. They love having parent helpers in the classroom. They had half day programs. My daughter is 4 years and is in the Pre-K program. It is preparing her for Kindergraten--not in that she is sitting a desk learning, but preparing her emotionally and on what to expect. I highly recommend this program.

good luck! peace, C. m

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S.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi H.,
It is such a personal decision. But here is what I did. We own our own business, so I luckily can work from home. I put my daughter in preschool when she was 1 1/2. She went 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. I did it so I could actually have 3 hours of uninterupted time to focus on work. It was hard to let her go, but I also thought it would be great for her to hang out with other kids her age. It has been a wonderful experience for both of us. She goes to Knightdale Baptist Preschool. They are the most wonderful caring people. Check with the different churchs in your area to see what progarams they offer. You do not have to be a member at the church. The one key thing is to take your child somewhere where you feel comfortable she is well cared for. Go with your gut. You know what, try it, if you or your daughter is not happy wait and try again next year.
Steph
P.S. It sure is great to let her do some of the messy crafts like painting and glitter at school! :)

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D.D.

answers from Huntington on

i am a 66 year old great grandmother of 7 beautiful little great grandchildren. personally i think children are let go to early. does she have cousins, friends children or others to enteract with. at three years she may enjoy 2 or 3 mornings a week but i believe 2.5 is too young.

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A.C.

answers from Greensboro on

You can also try the local library because they have story time for toddlers and that would give her an hour to interact with other kids that are her age. good luck

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L.B.

answers from Wilmington on

Hi H...As a teacher in the childcare field I don't think that 2.5 yrs. is too young. Obviously in childcare they can start at 6 wks. of age. I believe that you have the right idea with wanting to start her a couple of days a week. There's always pros/cons to preschool/MMO/childcare. I do know that a few that I called when I wanted my own daughter to start all said 3 yrs. of age aslo. Hope this helps!

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K.L.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

a lot of the churchs have mothers morning out. mine for instance, has one 2 mornings a week from 9-1pm. check some of your local churches out. good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

As a former preschool teacher, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY recommend you send you daughter with these cautions: Check the potty training policies. I didn't accept any kids who were not 100% potty trained. No pullups, diapers, training pants. PERIOD. Extra clothes for the occasional accidents. Can she verbally state what she wants or needs? Have you observed her socially with other children her age? Is she aggressive? A biter? A hitter (excessive?). I can honestly tell all of you moms of little guys and dolls that it is the BEST thing you can for your kid...preschool. Socialize them. It breaks my heart to see so many preschool age kids who don't know how to play and interact with other kids. And it wasn't because of some sort of birth defect or behavioral disorder in these cases. You have to let them go teeny bits at a time, and then when they start kindergarten, they will SO much the better from their years at preschool!!! I say YES go for it!!!!!

Oh, and I would MUCH rather spend the morning with 6 2-year olds than TWO teenagers! LOL I miss teaching preschool GREATLY.

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D.J.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi- I teach the two's class at a local preschool. It's a two day a week program. Most of my students are only children or have much older siblings. While my own children didn't start preschool until 3 and 4, there is a huge benefit for 2 year olds who really don't have an opportunity to play with other children or who depend on Mom as their only source of play. I think finding a program that stresses a loving, nuturing Christian environment is best. But, I personally feel that the numbers of days per week that your child is in school should reflect their age. For example, 2's should go 2 days a week, 3's 3 days a week and 4's four days a week. Some children are ready for more school time, but most children, I have found, would much rather get some more one on one time with Mom and Dad. Remember, once your child starts any school, you are exposing him or her to the "outside" world. So, the key is to find the safest most nurturing school that you can. Enjoy them while you can, they grow so fast and soon enough will have to be gone everyday, all day. Good Luck! D. J.

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P.P.

answers from Raleigh on

H., you are the mom, and you know what is right for your daughter. Ignore your friends' good intentioned advice and do what your mommy instinct tells you. You can register her for next year & if your instinct has changed, you aren't out anything except the registration fee!

Go for it!

P.

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S.U.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi H., I have three kids, the youngest is two now, and she's enrolled in a 3-day a week Christian preschool. I did not go 3-day route with my first child, hers was Friday am's only. I guess that's the difference in baby 1 and baby 3. All of my kids started an organized preschool early, around age 2, and they absolutely could and can not wait to get there. I'm not saying you might not experience a little separation anxiety, that's normal! But most kids really thrive in these little classes, the highlights of their week. They love their little friends, the snack time, the learning, the doing, and the chapel time if it's Christian-based. Everyone has their own pace, but it has done a world of good for my kids to experience everything that comes with it. And most preschools are 9-12 or the likes, not overwhelming on time. Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Raleigh on

H.,

I am a mother of four young children--our oldest is eight. My advice to you is this:

Do what your heart tells you is right. It sounds like you are ready to let her take that next step toward more independence--and that is wonderful. It will be good for both of you. Mommy's need time to themselves just as much as our children need to learn to trust others for care sometimes.

My first child started preschool at 3 as there were no earlier programs in the area that we lived. My second started at 2. (We had moved to a city with many more schooling opportunities) I had not planned on sending him, but when he saw his big sister going, he cried and begged to go to "school" too. My third and fourth children both started at age one. It has been so wonderful for them. they have all been so well prepared for kindergarten (those who have started). And it was so great for me to take care of my own needs too.

My only suggestion is that you try to find one school that offers a three morning program instead of combining two different programs. Your daughter will adjust better and more quickly if she has the same routine every time she goes to school.

Best of luck!

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L.T.

answers from Greensboro on

As a former 2yr.old preschool teacher, I don't think that 2 is too young for either 2days a wk or one day. We did alot of socializing,story time, art and outside play time. The hours were 9-12am. At first some of the children were unhappy to leave Mom but by the end of Sept. there were no more tears. Children love to play with others their own age and it was so much fun to teach them new ideas and watch them grow. Now days if children aren't exposed to some sort of preschool setting they may feel behind when they get to reg. school. Just check the program out really well first. Enjoy.

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T.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

H., children rarely have a problem with interaction and playing- my own personal opinion is that your precious daughter is too young to even start thinking about school. They grow up way too fast- they have their whole lives to be in school and work, childhood is getting shorter and shorter with "school" programs starting so early. Plus think about the behavior issues, sickness, etc. that she'll be exposed to- it's not really "school" at that age anyway...Enjoy her while you can- there will come a day when she will want to "interact" with everyone BUT Mom....I say 5 at the very earliest for school. :)

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A.W.

answers from Charlotte on

I started sending my daughter 2 days a week when she turned 2 and just signed her up for 4 days next year(she'll be 4) She absolutly LOVES it! I had thought of only sending her 3 days next year, but she asked to go more! When she's not in school, she misbehaves more, wines more and just plain is a happier child while school is in.....Christmas break was long for all of us!! I think preschool is wonderful for all kids; they each have their different needs but overall, it only helps them with social skills and basic learning skills. My daughter is only three and can count to 20 easily and 50 with a little help. She is already expressing major interest in reading and can recognize all the letters in the alphabet. I'm not bragging, just saying that I think preschool has helped with all this. I am not patient enough to teach her daily. The decision is yours and I trust you will make the right one for your child! Good Luck!

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C.A.

answers from Raleigh on

Send her.. there's no difference with you sending her off to pre-school (for a few hours a few times a week) as there is with me sending my son to a daycare center. I think you're right to start thinking about her social interaction now.

B.M.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi,

No judgements here I just figured you could take a general poll and make your decision from there.

My boys started when they were 3. But, in all fairness, the preschool they both attended, set the bar at 3, so really, I did not have a choice in the matter.

Good Luck!

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M.B.

answers from Charlotte on

my son will be 2 in sept and we are starting him this year, the week before is birthday is when it starts. it is only 1 day a week for 3 hours. i feel it is good for him to be used to being without me for short periods, which is needs to start! and he is great with other kids b/c we do playdates and he is used to it but even more interaction will be great. i think you should do what you feel is right.

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I.N.

answers from Raleigh on

Go for it! She'll probably love it! A few hours away will be good for your mental health, too.

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N.W.

answers from Asheville on

Hi H.. I have a 2 1/2 yr old right now, and it seems too early to send her to school. I think it depends on the personality of your child,though, if she's really independent and energetic, she would get a lot out of it. My girl is pretty shy, so I just make sure she gets a lot of play time with other kids and I give her space to play on her own. What preschool are you looking at?

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T.L.

answers from Charlotte on

I work at a preschool. I think it is good for them to start at age two. It will help them with the social skills, and also give them a little independence. I think for a two year old age two is great, then move up to three days and then four. That way by the time they reach kindergarden they will be ready for five days.

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M.Z.

answers from Charlotte on

You said it yourself-- it's for her sake so I think you have your answer. We had an aupair for my son (who is now 4.5) and my daughter who is (2.5) until November. Now they are both in preschool with extended care and they have adjusted beautifully. We started my son at age 3 (but he had just turned 3-- his birthday was in august)-- and he went from 9-1 for 3 days per week and it was the BEST thing for him. He really blossomed and grew. Also, he was behind in his gross and fine motor skills and we didn't know because he was our oldest. The gym classes he attended and the activities really helped him catch up early and now we just started OT for his fine motor skills-- but we did not have to do anything for gross motor-- the gym teacher at his preschool took him under his wing and really worked with him last year and he is on target or above average. At any rate, it was such a positive experience for him and I highly recommend it to everyone who has a child at this age. He was potty trained, but still had occasional accidents. Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Greenville on

Hi H.,
My son will be 17 mos old soon, and has been going to a MMO program twice a week at my church for a few months. It took some adjustment for him at first, but I think he has started to really enjoy it. I have noticed that he is much more interactive and curious about other children since he has been going- I esp notice the difference when he gets around other children who are not exposed to other kids. It has also helped him to relate to caregivers other than myself or my mom- who keeps him during the day. We have had such a good experience that we have actually decided to send him three times a week instead of just two!
The downside to MMO is that he has gotten quite a bit more illness since going, but that is just the way it goes, I guess. He has also picked up a couple of bad habits, such as hitting- we are working on that.
I would suggest a part time preschool a couple of days a week at a church. Start off with a couple of days and the move up from there as she adjusts. Good luck!

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