What Age for Sleep-overs?

First sleepovers were at age 3. Yes, I was comfortable sending my kids to a house with a teenage boy. Most teen boys aren't perverts and I trust my choice in friends and acquaintances.

DS is going to his first sleepover next weekend. He is 9. He has had male teenage baby sitters so yes, I would be ok with that. Many sleepovers will also have a father in the home. Men are 1/2 the population after all.

Both of my boys started going on and hosting sleepovers around the age of four or five. Neither of my kids suffered from separation anxiety, nightmares or sleep issues, so they never had any trouble with sleepovers. A teenage boy in the house would not have made me uncomfortable. In fact, I now have a teenaged boy of my own, who babysits younger children, and the idea that teenage boys equal child molesters (I'm guessing that is what you are insinuating) is quite offensive to me.

ETA: Sorry I misconstrued your concerns. Considering this particular teenage boy has a little sister I would assume he knows how to behave around little girls. I also assume he and his friends wouldn't want to be anywhere near the little girls. I would also assume the parents would not allow their teenage son to have a group of friends over at the same time their little girl is having a sleepover.

My kids started at about 7-8 yrs old. I was having sleep-overs before I was even in school, no problem. But my kids were staying over at their grandparents house as soon as they could sleep through the night so it wasn't a big transition.

It all depends on the child, how well you know the friend's family, and what you are comfortable with. Most teen-age boys will avoid their younger siblings as much as possible, so unless there have been prior red flags or your kid isn't comfortable with it, I wouldn't worry.

My son had his first at age 8. He had a great time, no issues. Not sure what the teen sibling has to do with anything. As long as I've met the parents and know there is supervision for the kids, I've never even thought about siblings in the house.

It depends on the child and the venue. My SD was doing sleepovers at her aunt's at 7, but my DD may not be ready til she is older.

My SS was the teen boy when SD had friends over. Small girls were like plague to him. He'd rather be anywhere else and frequently was. I'd talk to the family about sleeping arrangements but IMO most families have older siblings that are not a concern.

Our daughter attended her first sleep over right before the start of 1st grade, she had just turned 6. She did great. Of course she complained she was tired.. This girl had an older brother, but as another mom said, he completely stayed away from all of those little girls!

And mom, your daughter is going to hear all sorts of inappropriate things from the kids that her age, you just need to teach your daughter to say "Those are not nice words".. And to teach her, she can share anything with you and you promise not to freak out or get mad.. (save the drama reaction for when your daughter is not around)..
I was always prepared for our daughter to be tired the next day after a sleep over.. But not all kids are the same.

My daughter did her first sleepover when she was 5 at her best friend's house. I think I was more nervous about it than she was. She did fine. A year later (now 6) she had a sleepover at the same friend's house. She lasted until about 10:30 and called me crying because she wanted to come home. At the time she was experiencing a lot of insomnia and would start feeling a little anxious when she couldn't fall asleep. She has had no interest in doing another sleepover at all.

Her best friend has a high school aged brother. He isn't a kid I particularly like, but I don't really have a reason for that. He just isn't friendly to me and comes across as kind of a jerk. But I wasn't nervous about him being there.

About 9 yrs old was how old our son was when he started going to over night lock ins at taekwondo.
He always had a great time!
There were lot's of kids of all ages and plenty of adult supervision.

I think my kid was about 8, but I think it very much depends on the emotional age and needs of the child. (Mine had a significant nocturnal enuresis problem so he wasn't dry at night, so sleepovers weren't possible until we took care of things medically.) t kept the sleepovers small - I don't think any kid does well with a big group of visiting kids until late middle school at the earliest.

And definitely don't plan anything for the next day - they are exhausted. I made sure he had a real meal before he went over or had kids over, because an evening of pizza and popcorn followed by a morning of Eggo waffles usually had a downside!

I didn't worry about an older sibling. Inappropriate language was a part of every school bus ride from kindergarten on. Sometimes it helped to have an older kid to look up to. There were other things that worried me in homes - a large (or small) group of kids in a house with firearms, for example. Locked or unlocked, some kid always knew where the key was. As Suz said, if the parents or older kids were sketchy in any way, then I had the party at my house.

But I think there are kids who just aren't ready until 9 or 10, so go with your gut.

my boys slept over at their grandparents' from the time they were tiny, so didn't have some of the 'i must be in my bed every night' fears that too many little ones have today. i guess they were maybe 5 when they did their first sleepovers with friends. and yeah, they were fine. i never had to pick up one of my boys from a sleepover.
teenagers don't faze me. if the teenage boys are sketchy, that would set off my radar for the whole family. if i trusted the family with my kids, a teenaged boy in the house wouldn't make me uncomfortable.
there WERE cases where there were sketchy teenagers in the home, but i didn't let kids sleep over at those places for a variety of reasons.
khairete
S.

Different ages for all my kids. Some as young as 6 some much older (9 or so). Some are more comfortable than others - I have one that just prefers to be in his own bed.

For us it really was a matter of the family - we knew all of them well. Like very well - they had been friends with the kids a long time.

Our kids had spent the night before with relatives, so it wasn't a huge deal.

The teenager question ... we have teens and have had a sleepover. The teens weren't anywhere near the little ones (wouldn't have any interest) and are always considerate of age appropriateness around our little ones and friends. I guess though we've always been around to supervise anyhow - so never an issue. They wouldn't be watching movies together or hanging out whatsoever.

It depends on the child. My now 20yr old was sleeping over and having friends sleep over by Kindergarten.

You can't shield them from everything. There will be a time when they hear something they shouldn't hear, see something they shouldn't see and that probably happens in your house as well..

I don't get the older teen boy unless you have red flags for some reason. I would think a newly hs grad would have no interest in his sister's play dates and sleepovers. He is probably excited to be thinking about college and getting out of the house like most newly graduated hs students heading off to college.

In reality, most abusers are those the children know well and are family (dad, uncle, cousin, etc) vs a kid who lives in the same house with younger siblings. I don't think most teen boys are pervs.

If you are not comfortable with it, then don't let her go OR, have the sleepover at your house. We can't keep our children in bubble wrap and then let them go at age 18, they'd have no idea what to do.

Communicate with your daughter about do's and don'ts and encourage her to communicate with you.

My son slept over at a friend's house for the first time recently. He had a few sleepovers in the past with family, but this was the first friend sleep over. He is 7. The family was actually kind enough to invite our younger son as well, but I didn't feel comfortable, and he is 4. No hesitation about the family, obviously (or I wouldn't have left my older son with them!), but my 4 year old still wakes up at night occasionally and crawls in bed with us. I was concerned that he would wake up and be so confused that he would get scared. He would probably have been fine, but he is my baby :)
They are both going for a sleepover in a few weeks with some very close family friends who are like adopted grandparents.

As far as the teenager, it would depend on the kid. If he was a normal teenager, no problem. If I recognized his name from the police scanner, not so much :)

My boys are 4, 7, and 9 and they've never had a sleepover at a friend's house. It's a personal decision--we just don't allow them. That may change, but it's our rule for now.

I thought I did all the right things when my son, at the time was 8, spent the night for a classmates birthday. I called the mom and asked all the right questions.

However, when I picked up my son in the morning, he started crying when he got in the car. Basically he had a HORRIBLE time. The kid had 3 older brothers and I guess ALL of them just picked on my son the whole time. I guess the attitude was, boys will be boys. Well, my son is just not used to that. I felt horrible. He's 12 now and has not asked to spend the night at anyone's house since.

My daughter went the first time when she was about 11. I talked to the mom and she said they would be home playing games, swimming, watching movies. I called about 8pm to see how she was doing. The dad answered the phone and said they were all at the mall. WHAT? It would have been nice to have known where my kid was. Ugh. Besides that, she had fun. But she too has not asked to spend the night anywhere and she's 15 now.