We've Got a Runner! (Toddler That Is)

Updated on November 12, 2009
C.L. asks from Salt Lake City, UT
13 answers

I know I've seen this question asked before here and now I can't seem to find it, so I apologize for asking it again but I have an almost-15-month-old son who thinks it's just great to sprint away from me as soon as I put him down when we're out running errands. He's been walking since he was 9 1/2 months so he can cover some ground really quickly! I thought it would be good just to go ahead and let him run away and then let him realize it's scary to be away from mommy, but it hasn't worked. Either he runs too far away and I can't see where he is, or he runs to a point, stops, and seems perfectly fine and content to be away from mom and then just starts playing with something. I've also tried just telling him he has to hang on to mommy's hand but that only results in him screaming and having a tantrum so we end up leaving the store. I can carry him and he's really good if I'm carrying him, but if he wants to get down for any reason (or god forbid I need both of my hands for something!), the sprinting starts as soon as I put him down! I'm hoping this is a phase that goes away eventually, but I don't want to turn it into a "game" for him by chasing him all of the time. And at the same time, I'm not comfortable not having him in my sights at all times. Does anyone have any advice they could offer? Thanks so much!!

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A.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I know they're not popular w/a lot of people but what about a kiddie leash? They've got some really cute ones. A friend has 3 kids who run all different directions when they get out anywhere & they've saved her life.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You're right, don't let it become a game. He's too young to understand that it is dangerous, and it's not a good idea to let him run off and loose sight of you if you can avoid it. Best bet, prevent it before it starts. Keep him in a stroller (or grocery cart). If he has to walk/insists on walking, buy a kiddie harness and leash. They make them really cute now (check out Babies R Us). Yeah, there are people who will make rude comments. But they probably have never had the fear of their child running off.
When my daughter was about 2, she let go of my hand and ran away - right into the path of a big van that had no chance of seeing her! Luckily, when I yelled for her to stop, the driver heard me and slammed on the breaks. I put her on the harness EVERY time after that until she was old enough to stay with me without it. I got rude looks and comments (even "oh look a doggy") but I mostly ignored it - or flat out told them it was better than her getting lost or being hit by a car.

T.S.

answers from Denver on

I used leashes with all three of my children. For a short time I had them all three on leashes. I used to travel with them a great deal and it was a life saver. I recommend the harness where the leash is attaced at the back and not the wrist one. My kids are now teenagers and still remember the leashes and say they really liked them because they felt like they had some freedom and yet were safe at the same time.

I did get some strange reactions from time to time, but that was always from people that didn't have children. I was constantly getting grandmas coming up to me and asking where I got them. For those that had bad comments I just calmly stated that I loved my children enough to keep them safe.

There are many more options today than there were ten years ago. They come with little animal backpacks which make it even more convenient to carry snacks and small toys to help distract the children while you are busy.

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B.C.

answers from Denver on

Love and Logic has a great technique for this. If you want, shoot me your email and I'll send it over. You do have to practice this at home (block out about 1-2 hours) to drive the point home that he is not allowed to run away from you or else there are consequences.

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C.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Maybe my daughter is just really easy going, but I have ALWAYS made her hold my hand when she wants to get down and walk in a store/parking lot/or down the street. And in the areas where she is safer, like a park, I let her have more roaming room. I would suggest to be consistent with the hand holding. Kids are going to throw tantrums when they are tired, hungry, or wanting to test boundaries. You can't give up on something if it doesn't work once or twice. Sometimes my daughter doesn't want to but I tell her if she wants down she needs to hold mommy's hand or she will be held, or put in a stroller or cart. I haven't used a leash but my sister did (the backpack leash) and she loved it.

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M.K.

answers from Provo on

I would suggest a harness. They make some fun animal ones and maybe you could make him feel special or think that's it's fun to wear the animal harness. Or maybe he would enjoy pretending to be the animal he's wearing. (that might cause more problems ,like trying to crawl,maybe not, but your call).

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

Hi. I was the one who asked that question the last time. Things have improved since then, if he runs then we leave after a warning. I did get a harness for him which he really loves. I used it a few times and he hasn't needed it since. My son is 27 months which makes a huge difference. I clearly state my expectations to him before entering a building and he seems to get there is a consequence. For a 15 month old I would use the harness for a while and see if he will allow it without tantrums. I know it is hard to have people look at you funny, but if it keeps he out of dangerous situations then just explain that to people.

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I've used a harness. I have one that is a backpack and one that isn't. Don't use the wrist ones. My nephew dislocated his shoulder pulling on one of those.

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E.B.

answers from Denver on

I have similar issues with my daughter. She also started walking at 9 months and is very willful and independent.

I always put her in a cart if one is available. She especially loves the carts that have a car at the front. She thinks it's fun time for her.

If I'm headed somewhere where I know we won't have access to a cart, I break out the umbrella stroller. I also keep books, stickers, toys and other small activities in the diaper bag to help keep her occupied. She's usually very good in the stroller as long as we keep things moving.

I will carry her if I'm running a very small errand like running into a restaurant to pick up food, stopping at the bank or something. But even the post office gets a stroller.

She likes to hold my hand but she's so easily distracted that I don't feel like I can rely on her to keep holding it. If she holds my hand and we are walking together and she starts to pull away, I tell her she needs to hold my hand or I will pick her up.

She gets ample time to run around at home, in the yard, etc. but when we are out, I feel better airing on the side of caution. She normally responds well if I yell, "STOP!" but she's at such an unpredictable age that I don't like risking it if we are in a busy area, etc..

If you don't think your son will do well in a stroller or cart, then I would suggest, like other moms already have, that you get the leash.

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

Definitely don't let him get away, it is too perfect an opportunity for someone else to grab him, and that does happen sometimes. I think the leash is a good idea, or a stroller or shopping cart. Kids that age can't keep promises, so instead of telling him to hold your hand, just grab his the second you put him down, hang on and if he resists just pick him up. He will get used to the idea that you are in charge. I know for my kids it is a treat to be out of the house, so I'll usually ask things like "do you want to be able to go to ___" and when they say "yeah", I say "you have to be good then". Then stick by it.

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A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I never did it but this seems like a good time to try a leash. It would keep him near but let him roam some and give you some peace of mind. GL

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L.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son was the same way. He never wanted to hold my hand and he would throw a fit and fall to the ground. The only thing that worked for me ( I never tried the leash ) was giving him the options to either hold my hand and walk or tell him that I was going to have to carry him. He didn't want to be carried sometimes, so he would hold my hand...of course I would have to keep reminding him. Well, he turned 2 on September 25, and he is a lot better when I take him outside or let him walk in the stores. He listens a lot better when I tell him he has to hold my hand, if not he goes in the cart:) When we are outside, if I let him walk without holding my hand, he only walks a few feet in front of me. Sometimes, I do have to run slowly to catch up with him though! I guess your son will learn in time.

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