Weight Loss - Oswego,IL

Updated on October 22, 2008
L.R. asks from Oswego, IL
6 answers

help... my husband makes me feel fat. All he does is get on me about my weight. Yes I'm probably 20lbs over weight and can lose it.. but it seems like he just nags to nag about it... he is still attracted to me.. the sex drive hasn't gone down at all. But is is very vain and in good shape. I accidently let is slip that I lost 2 1/2 pounds this week bringing me to 148 and all he said was that is disgusting!! and he wonders why i just roll over and go to bed. I love my husband very much and I know he loves me but this weight thing is causing me to eat LOL. help

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answers from Chicago on

Hi, iam divorce with 3 kids and my oldes daughter was getting over weight.so i decided that i would help her not by putting her down but by going on the diet with her.i find when u put some 1 down you push them to eat more.so me and my daughter went on the ankins diet and it help she lost weight and i didnt gain any.but at night or you feel hungry instaed of eating food you eat fruit instead of chips.or peanuts healthy things.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

So I am a bit confused... do you want to lose weight or does he want you to lose weight. It sounds as if you are comfortable where you are and just want him to leave you alone.

If you want to lose weight then tell him to keep his mouth shut and try helping you instead of hindering you!

Good Luck and Congrats on losing 2 1/2 lbs that is a great start!!

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answers from Chicago on

Sounds a bit verbally abusive if you ask me...Don't listen to him, tune him out. He is making you go in the other direction and causing you to stress out and eat. I bet he isn't within the normal limits of his weight. You don't say how tall you are. If you are going to do weight loss, do it for yourself, not for anyone else. I found it helpful to do the South Beach Diet along with exercise -simple walking. I lost 10 pounds the first 3 weeks.

Your husband does realize that to be successful at losing weight you must lose it a little at a time in order for it to stay off long term right???

I applaud you on the 2 1/2 pounds you lost the first week.

C. T.



answers from Chicago on

Hi L.

It sounds like there are two issues here, your current weight and your husband, who, as someone else said, sounds verbally abusive.

I'd make two appointments. First, visit your MD. Talk with him or her about your weight. Your doctor can help you decide on a plan for living healthy. (It's not about a number on the scale; it's about living a healthy lifestyle, with appropriate diet and exercise. If you do that the weight will come off.)

Second, visit a counselor or therapist...with your husband would be ideal, but without is ok too! The counselor or therapist can help you reflect on issues with your husband.

I recently lost 40 lbs (over 9 months) through a combination of portion control, changes in diet, and exercise, and now that I've reached a healthy weight, I'm working to maintain it. I'm not stick thin, but I am much healthier than I was 40 lbs ago.

These major lifestyle changes are hard enough to do when everyone around you is supportive. I can't imagine trying to do it with a husband who is not encouraging.

A couple of suggestions:
1. Schedule your exercise time, just like you schedule getting your children off to school, etc. If you don't, there will always be something more important to do.
2. It may sound silly, but when the weight starts to come off, treat yourself by buying something new to wear! It doesn't have to be expensive, but a pair of pants or a new top in your new (smaller) size can be a very powerful reinforcer!

Congratulations on your weight loss and good luck as you move forward!




answers from Chicago on

I'm so sorry you are going through this. That is so mean of your husband. Is he one to listen to how you feel? Can you share with him that it makes you want to distance yourself from him and eat more? I would encourage you to stand up for yourself. It is not right for anyone to say mean things to you. You have every right to say that you will not put up with this behavior. I'm not suggesting leaving him, but walking out of the room or the house when he says mean things may be apropriate. There may be some good books about this. Try calling "Family Life" or "Focus on the Family" and ask for a recource. One of the numbers is 1-800-a family, but I can't remember which one. YOu could google it.



answers from Chicago on

First of all, 2lbs/wk is what you are supposed to lose. Sometimes you might jump down 5lbs when you first start a program, but usually it's slow going. So, congrats on that.

There isn't much anyone can do about your husband being a jerk. I don't know if talking to him will help. Maybe you should remind him that your body changed a lot after the 2 kids and then again with each 5 years after 30 women have big hormonal changes that make weight loss a lot harder. The other thing is ask him to help you so you aren't so stressed. Let him know that his nagging is making you feel like you should just give up. Tell him to take the kids for a couple hours 3 or 4x/week so you can go to a gym or do an exercise video or whatever you like to do for a workout. Or go to weight watchers if you want to do that. Then anytime he nags, tell him "Hey, if I had more help around the house maybe I could take better care of myself. You look like you get lots of self care time."

Good luck. I know how frustrating it is -- I have way more than 20lbs to lose and when I look at old pics of my slim self I get so frustrated!

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