Hey woman, I HEAR ya! I'm sort of in your situation right now, but am totally at ease as I've been through it before and I KNOW the solution. I just had my 3rd baby 3 months ago with c-section and have not yet had the time to do the grind since healing as I am painting for a show I'm having in November as well as watching 3 kids with a dad who is gone all the time for work. I'm nursing, so the weight is supposed to be "falling right off". Luckily I already know that myth to be false (for me and my no-metabolism Irish body) so I'm not at all worried that I'm not budging yet, since I know what it takes. Like you, I am HATING myself when I have to go out and face the world like this in my big dumpy temporary post pregnancy clothes...and the months are starting to drag. Don't WORRY!!!! The human body is amazing, we WILL conquer this and you're only huge and out of it temporarily even after all the medical problems.
Like you, I've always been thin and in shape. However, I've always had to work hard for it, my metabolism doesn't do me any favors AT ALL. I've had to roll with the mysterious weight gains many times before, work like crazy to burn it off, and adjust my health regime afterwords to maintain. At this point, I'm 39, and my diet is practically flawless, healthy and natural, and I have to use weights as well as cardio regularly to lose weight and I exercise very frequently to maintain thin-ness. Whatever sacrifice and time management it takes. The only alternative is being large and tired and out of shape. It takes serious self discipline, but if you embrace the privilege of being able to have control over it, you don't feel like a victim. You also have to give yourself a break during times when you can't "work on it" and understand you can take charge again when you're able.
One day at a time, you will get yourself back. Maybe every day can't be that day where you get an awesome work out, drink tons of water, eat perfect meals and snacks to boost your health and metabolism, and go to bed early for a full calorie burning night of sleep, so you wake up feeling thinner than the day before, but it can be a day where you eat well, and accept that today you'll just "stay the same" on your long descent. Don't give up!
I went through a major mysterious weight gain phase right at age 28. I think that gain for you with your first was a life change in your metabolism as well as a pregnancy issue. I had to start cutting dairy and carbs for the first time in my life-I didnt' know what else to do, I was already active and vegetarian etc. With increased exercise and a diet revamp, I shrank back down and became a yoga enthusiast. However, in my 30's, even that wasn't enough, I needed to do advanced yoga 4 times per week, jog occasionally, and run around NYC working every day barely eating to stay thin. Now that I live in central PA with no yoga studio near by, and have had to battle baby weight, it's ALL ABOUT THE GYM!
After my first, the long cardio walks with the stroller did hardly anything. My plateau wouldn't give. I began weight training for the first time ever at a gym plus cardio three times per week-thank god for daycare there, and the weight fell right off. That is what has worked for me to this day for the last 3 years. I shrank down after my second in just a few months after gaining 60 pounds. Now I'm back up 30 pounds again and the surgery set me back and now I'm busy, so I'm huge and hating life. But in Novemebr, I'm back to the gym, and I know I'll be OK again.
You need the gym. Hate to say it. You need weights as well as cardio in a concentrated segment of time where you are not doing anything else. It's only temporary until you lose the weight, then you can maintain your good health with the walks and the baby time. It's only for a few months, don't think of it as a sad new way of life for your daughter forever. The gym daycare is fun for my kids, and when I'm not in a weight loss crisis, we go a lot less. I don't need to tell you how much happier you'll be when you lose weight, and your daughter will be happier.
Also, you've GOT to eat healthy. NO crash diets, pills, deprivation, fat free engineered food....You need healthy natural food and frequent snacks. No eating at night for 3 hours before bed. Your body will get back in shape as you exercise if you arent' putting hard to process foods into it.
I would tell you to reem your husband about the treadmill, but honestly, the treadmill at your house alone wouldn't do you much good until you're on a maintenance routine. Also, he's feeling his own stress. Get yourself to the gym with a good and thankful attitude. Stay positive. It's the only thing that works for me. Home videos and things that get your muscles and cardio would hypothetically work, it's just so hard at home to do it often enough. You need hard work 3-4 times per week to lose weight quickly. I'm right there with you, starting in Novemeber-we can DO THIS!!
As a side note, I'm shoked at how much my daughter understands about exercise and food just by watching me. You'll be doing her a great service-get thyself to boot camp!