Weaning from Breast to Bottle

Brenda,
Sounds like you're doing great! It's a really tough transition and agree that you need a better pacifier. I used the Playtex Binky "most like mom", it was like a cylinder shape so it shapes to the mouth better. It took a little persistance to get her to like a binky bt it was well worth it. She only uses it for naps, and we're now weaning her with no problems. Good luck!

You might try to put his thumb into his mouth so that he can self soothe a bit? Also, perhaps the bottle you are using is adding extra air into his belly that he's not used to the feeling of. We used Dr. Brown's bottles b/c they are said to reduce that gassiness.

You didn't mention what kind of bottle you are using. If you're not already, try the Playtex nursers. The nipples on them are more "natural" shaped.
Hope it works out for you.

Hi Brenda,

I've been there and can understand your pain! Here are my suggestions:
1. Try Dr. Browns Bottles because I find they are the best at reducing gas, in case that could be part of the problem.
2. For a pacifier - try the Soothie pacifier. Make sure to buy the GREEN one - as each color represents a certain thickness/hardness for each age. This is the pacifier we got at the hospital and my son won't use anything else. They're not pretty and they look really big, but they work! I buy them at Babies R Us.

It's going to be a tough transition for everyone involved. Just stay patient and be there for him when you can.... he may wake up several times a night for a while to "suckle" for comfort from you.... But that too will pass eventually....

Good luck and hang in there :-)

It is possible that with you in the house, he knows that he could be nursing and that is why he wants to nurse. I bet when you are away at work, he will be easier to calm with the bottle. Good luck!!!

Try to give him more skin on skin contact. That worked for me

I'd like to respond to helping the grandparents as I have no advice concerning the other.....
Make sure they have a stroller for the baby inside AND out. My mother swore by it with my kids and fresh air or "strolling" in the house helps to calm them.
PS The pacifier? I could not get ONE of my 3 to use one nor their thumb - nothing! I think they either like the pacifier or they don't! Good luck, hon. It'll work out.

You didn't say whether you were using breast milk in his bottle. I used to pump extra milk in the morning, when I had the most milk available. Of course, if you want more milk available at that time of day, simply pump after you've fed him and soon your breasts will automaticly make more milk. Another trick I learned was to freeze milk and have the babysitter thaw it. If I didn't have enough milk to fill the bottle, I just added what I could when I could so the milk in the bottle was layered to the right amount.

You are going to have to learn to not give in to his tantrums. This is a life-long problem; parents have to teach their children NOT to throw tantrums by REFUSING TO REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR. Even a baby can figure out that if he cries long enough, you are going to give him whatever you want.

Often it helps to have another person give him the bottle. That's because that person will not be able to offer him breastmilk.

E. in North Conway

Has your son had any reactions to bandaids or latex? I just read that many bottle nipples contain latex and maybe he is having a reaction to that? It could be that his mouth just feels funny and you won't see any signs like redness or such. It would just depend on how sensitive he is. For example, I can wear a latex bandaid for a few minutes without any reaction, but if I were to wear it all day, I would have a bandaid shaped rash when I took it off. Also, when I blow up balloons with latex in them, my lips will feel funny. Just something to look into. Pacifiers could have latex too.

Michelle T. was right on with the Soothie pacifier, and the color, too. The green ones are soft and are the only ones my son (who was exclusively breastfed till 2 mos as well) will take. It is the one the hospital gives you when you are there as it's most like a nipple (and you can find them cheap at Walmart, Target, and Kohl's as well as at most pharmacies so don't buy them online, but here's a picture to help you out http://www.kohls.com/upgrade/webstore/product_page.jsp?PR... )

When I lay him down, I pop the Soothie in his mouth and either gently shimmy his cradle or pat his bum softly. He's out like a light in seconds! While he doesn't keep the pacifier in his mouth all night (he likes to spit it out when he's in a deep sleep) it doesn't affect his sleep once he spits it out.

Also, remember that they are recommending the pacifier at night until age one to help ward off SIDS; there are great benefits to having him use one :)

Good luck, I know how frustrating it is to hear him cry and not know what to do to make him stop. That's when I wish there really was a user's manual for these little guys!!

Great job for getting him to take a bottle! Thats amazing & wonderful. Be consistent with it, change one thing and he could reject it.

Now:
First, I dont think he needs a pacifier.

Second, Breastfed babies are determined to have the breast! No matter what!

My daughter always refused a bottle, no matter how many times or ways we tried to give it to her. She found it unacceptable to have anything else. It was an issue I made her daycare aware of when I first went back to work. I would bring her there prior to my return, so that she could adjust in small increments and get used to not having a breast for comfort.

Your parents know what they are doing, I'm sure. They have dealt with crying babies before and as long as they are aware and prepared for this - he will adjust. It is something completely new and will take a little time - one good thing to come of it - he will learn to self soothe at an early age.

Be prepared though - when you pick him up at the end of the day for him to want to nurse A LOT! He will miss you and want that comfort and he deserves it (plus you will be "full" and will NEED to nurse).

Hi i thing you should stop the breast feetings . And try to get him toa formaler since your going back to work in a few weeks he might bea happy baby ones you change him over ok ty
B.

HI,
I just wanted to say that my daughter (exclusively breastfed) really liked the soothies pacifiers. They give them out at the hospitals around here - but you can find them at Target and Walmart - they are green and kind of see through. They are shaped unlike any other pacifier out there - closer to the breast, imo. They are only about $3 for 2 of them.

Good Luck!!

I just wanted to let you know, I went back to work when ds#1 was 5 weeks old, I pumped at work. He got a bottle during the day, and when I was home I nursed, whether it be dinner, night and morning and weekends. I worked out perfectly. You can continue to nurse only when you are home as well, without pumping at work, your body gets a customed to it.
If that is not your goal, continue having your husband and others give the bottle, try not to be in the room at all. Good luck!

I went through this exact same thing with my son. Struggled getting him to take a bottle before he had to start daycare, and then when he finally would take the bottle, would cry(seemed more like screaming) once finished until I gave him the breast. Then he would crash within seconds of getting the breast. My husband and I were flabbergasted as to what to do, we didn't experience this at all with our first son.

We got tons of advice such as giving him a pacifier, which he absolutely refused (seemed to make him angrier when we tried to give it to him)

Unfortunately, all we could do was "keep trying". Keep giving him the bottle, trying to calm him down afterwards. It seemed like his meltdowns after the bottle were only at night. It didn't last too long (about a week). Once he was in daycare, after a couple of weeks, the bottle was no longer an issue and he would be fine once finished. I think it's ok to give him the breast if he absolutely won't settle. Half the time I think it's becauase he know's your there, even though your husband gave him the bottle. (They can literally smell you from something like 20 feet away) I suspect once he's left with his grandparents for a few days, bottle feedings and post will no longer be an issue.

Looking back on it now I think he was used to draining the breast and then just happily sucking away. Apparently the pacifier was no substitute! (Funnily my husband concurred with him! ;-) ) He just needed some time to adjust and get used to it. I know it's not the best advice because it's terrible to listen to your little one crying so hard. But this will pass, I promise!!

It is hard, my son and husband had a terrible time! Everything was perfect the first week back to work i work 3-11 then week 2 came and i heard him crying on the phone like no cry i have ever heard, it was awful he refused to eat and would shreeeeeek till he fell asleep and would wake wimpering hourly till i was home. At times when possible my husband brought him to me. We tryed many diffrent bottles eventualy, im not sure if it was the bottle or timeing, he took to the soothie bottles. We had been using a breast flow bottle. He sometimes would take he soothie pacifier, i found another good one that flexes like a nipple it says that right on the package i belive it was gerber that made the pacifer they come 2 in package blue and green, i really think it was gerber, got them at target. He did like them evenetully at 5mo he just got over it, and settled for 5oz per night i was gone, sleep lightly and wake the second i can in the door. I dont know if it will help you at all. Good luck, feel special that your baby is allready attached to your special bond through breast feeding, also try reading nursing mom working mom, if you live in hooksett the library just got the new edition!

I think it's no problem if you continue to nurse him right before bed regularly, unless your work schedule doesn't allow you to be home in time to do a good-night nursing. However if it does, this will be a wonderful way for you to continue at least part-time nursing, and it will help him sleep. If you are able to pump during the day at work for his bottles, that would keep your milk supply up enough to comfortably continue the evening nursing.

Good luck!

I know - this is hard. My little one will often have 'meltddowns' when I am not at home. My husband gives her a bottle at night when I am working.
We use the Haberman bottles - or the Special Needs Feeders by Medela. She can continue to suck on it even when there is no milk and it does not cause gas. You can also control the flow of the milk so your son can get more sucking time in. It works sometimes and other times it does not! But my daughter won't take a pacifier either.
She will suck on my pinky though! You can try that.
Lastly, you can try 5.5 ounces and see if it settles him down. He might actually be hungry. Babies often eat more and cluster feed at night.
Good luck!

Hi Brenda,
My son is about 3 months and we just went through a similar situation, as I unfortunately have to head back to work soon too. He hates the pacifier too. What we had to do for a couple of weeks was let him suck one of our pinkies for a while until he settled himself down. My husband or I would lie with him on top of us and turn his head to the side so he could suck our pinkies and then use the other hand to pat him on the back. Once he figured out how to suck his thumb he was better able to settle himself down and I think as he got a little older it was just easier for him as well. Our son usually sleeps from 10 to 5-ish and then my husband feeds him from the bottle while I pump as my chest is sore and enormous at that point. We then use that milk the next morning and save the extra in the freezer to get us started for when I go back to work.

Hope this helps!
E.

Hi Brenda,
Congrats on your little man!
YEs, you've observed him sucking his hand and crying...he needs more sucking time! Not necessarily eating time. He needs a binky for this~ and you're right, a nipple-shaped one is just the ticket! There are newborn~size ones which fit those little mouths better than larger ones...I've even seen a baby gag on a too~big pacifier!Two kinds to try: NUK brand newborn size, or one that is as close as you can find to the shape and size of the nipple on his bottle - he is already used to that.
Also, try dipping the pacifier in a little breast milk the first time you give it to him. Works like a charm with some babies!
Don't give up; you may have to try several styles/shapes of binkies, but you'll find one that works!
Good luck Mommy!
Hugs!

My son was the same way. He took to a bottle easily but was very difficult to sooth. One thing that worked for us was slipping a pacifier right in his mouth immediatle after taking the bottle out. You can try the soothie brand pacifiers which are just like the ones you get at the hospital. My son (5 months now) only liked that kind for a short time but I was determined through trial and error to find one that he would accept.
Another thing that worked for us ... and believe me, I tried everything... was holding him very close to my chest horizontally, with the pacifier and just walking around a bit.
Good luck going back to work. I tried pumping for as long as I could when I returned to work at 3 months. I pumped for less than a month. Given my long commute and the nature of my job, I just wasn't able to do it. My advice is not to feel guilty for stopping. Give it your best shot and be happy that you tried. You and your son will be much happier that way.
Good luck!

Brenda, Sorry to hear about your struggle.

You can still nurse (and pump while at work) and offer bottles of your milk when you are at work.

Continue to offer the pacifier, maybe someone else should try that and work at comforting him only because while he is in your presence he smells your milk and will want you. If Dad pops the paci in right after giving him the bottle and is consistent and insistent your son will learn that this is what I get now. Me and mom will have our time later. I had to return to work with my last child but the pumping and nursing and all worked out well. My son learned to wait for me to come home in the morning and we would settle for his early morning nap and my first chance to sleep since getting up at 9 the following night to work 11-7. You are correct in determining that he was looking for your comfort after the hour of crying. It's hard to watch, listen to, get use to. He will learn and I think the employer rules for maternity leave are in need of a change!

Have you considered working part time somewhere? Starting your own business at home? Taking in other babies/small children to care for in your home? Working a different shift worked for us, never had daycare issues, had a elderly lady come in for 2-3 hours in the morning to care for my 2 yo and 4 mo. There are many options, but if you must return, you can do it and your son will learn.