I am a single Mum with a beautiful boy, he just turned 1. He was exclusively breastfed and I am now thinking of weaning him. He is very demanding though and knows what he wants. He reaches in my shirt to try to help himself and screams at me if I don't feed him. All the books I have read say to let Dad take over, but my baby's Dad is not around. He still wakes up for a feed around 1am, and breasfeeding is the only way to get him to sleep. He doesn't like to be held. I tried the Ferber method and he screamed for almost two hours for two nights before I gave up, I couldn't put either of us through that again. My family don't want to babysit at night because he wakes up and screams because he wants the breast and nothing else will do. I tried cows milk and honey in a sippy cup as he will not take a bottle or a pacifier. I don't know what else to do.
He is a very healthy baby, weighing just under 23lbs, and he eats very well, he has three solid feedings a day, and snacks, and he takes juice and water from a sippy cup so it is not that he isn't getting enough to eat. I think it is more for comfort than anything else. It is not that I want to stop breastfeeding completely, but that I would like him to sleep through the night. At the moment the only thing that gets him off to sleep is the breast.
Ms. S. I have the same problem my son is 18 months and he will not give up the breast. He puts his hand down my shirt and just pulls. the Peditrician said that he will stop on his own but I think he is wrong. Now as far as the Ferber method it does not work for everyone. ask the doc about something else. I used Ferber and he does not wake up in the middle of the night anymore but my daughter did until she was about 2. Good luck
it sounds like you got alot of mixed advise.. i hope you find something useful out of it.. but please don't get down on yourself, as i see some ladys seem to feel very strongly about the continuation of breast feeding.. every mom and every baby are different.. its all up to what feels right to you and your son.. less and less mothers are breast feeding at all and i must say for you to do it for a full year deserves recognition. *big hug* from me. though it is true that breast milk is best (and i'm not saying it isn't) most experts will the agree that the first year is most important, and you didn't say you wanted to stop all together, just slow down a bit.. so try that.. a little more solid food a little less breast.. stop him from nursing before hes done and then play with him, or offer a snack.. distract him.. during the day of corse.. as for night, good luck. my son is now off the breast and bottle at 16 months, but STILL wakes himself up at night.. fortunantly for me he goes back down with a cup of water and a pacifier.. (i fear i will have some trouble breaking the binky dependensy) but none the less hes up, which means i'm up.. ehh..
i feel i have helped you very little if at all, but would again like to say i'm proud of you, for nursing all the way, and for going it alone. hang in there things will be o.k. and having that little man smile at you and say 'i love you mommy' for the first time, will make every sore breast, every strtch mark, and every sleepless night worth it. i promise!
i would like to add, because some don't know.. you should never give an infant honey.. it contains a strain of botulisum (not sure if i spelled that right) that the baby body is not yet strong enough to fight.. so please. try to stay away from that bit of help..
good luck i'm new to this site so i don't know how you'd contact me if you wanted, but feel free to, if you know how, i'd love to hear how its going!
I can recommend a book that I found very helpful when I was trying to get my son to stop his night feedings. It is called "The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems". I think it won't be easy but it will be easier now then in a couple of months. He shouldn't be hungry at his age in the middle of the night but if you think he is the dream feed mentioned in the book was great. Basically, you go and quietly pick him up and put him to your breast before he actually wakes up. I think she mentions doing this at 10 or 11pm. Believe it or not most babies will sleep and nurse at the same time. Then you gently pop him off and put him back in his crib and he never wakes up. I stopped nursing at 13 months and glad I didn't wait any longer since he has hit a stage where he doesn't like to try new things. He is now 16 months. Just stick to whatever plan you chose and good luck:)
Try using a stuffed animal or special blanket, and stand up and rock him to sleep. Or try using lukewarm rice milk preferrably, or soy milk, it's closer to the consistancy and taste of breastmilk.The reason we use cows milk as butter and cream etc is that it has the highest fat content of any domestice mammal. Due to health reasons I had to abruptly stop with both of my older boys, this time around with our third boy I'm trying to do the self weaning as we intended.
Maybe taking him to a play group with a sippie cup to expose him to other children that drink from cups. Then prais the other children to him and let him know they are big boys and he is too, then hand him his cup. I know it must be hard for both of you to transition from nursing to cup, I wish you the best. Blessings
S.,
I was so glad to see someone else say "why do you want to wean?" There is such a rush for kids to grow up. If it is comforting for him to nurse whn he wakes in th middle of the night I would not worry about it. I would start with day time feedings and try to wean thos first. Try to get rid of 1 a week. I started with the first one in the morning. Keeping the one right before nap time, and the one right before bed for the last two. My girls both slept through the night very young so I do not hav advise for the middle of the night. Good Luck, and don't worry he won't go to middle school still wanting to nurse.
I would continue to nurse him until he is ready to wean or shows signs of being ready. If you really want to wean or if you have to wean, then I would pick up a copy of "Mothering your Nursing Toddler", it has lots of helpful and kind ways to wean that don't entail "cold turkey". If you don't have to wean, I would continue to nurse and try to wean the daytime nursings first. The night-time nursings are the last to go. I would not want to wean him and cause emotional distress if it wasn't necessary.
I have nursed three children and they will naturally start to wean on their own if you are patient. I would just offer other things during the day before they wanted to nurse like food and drinks and perhaps a walk or playtime or a drive. If they insisted on nursing, I would go ahead and nurse because to absolutely refuse would just cause them to want it more.
Let me know if you have questions.
Peace to you and your sweet baby,
A.
Hi Sara,
Yes this is hard, but there is only one way to do it as a mother we all hate to hear our children cry but if you do not want to bear breast feeding until the child is two this is what you will have to do.You will have to sacrifice two to three nights of not a full nights sleep,he will cry maybe half the night but keep him comfortable still hold him and rock offer the bottle as often as necessary, you know the old saying if he gets hungry enough he will eat, wear some thing that has no button going down the front so when he pulls he will not tear the buttons open. i know this sounds a little scary,but depending on the type of person you are you will have results, some children take longer than others but if you have had enough of breast feeding than this is what you will have to do.
You don't mention anything about him eating solid foods. My daughter was bottle fed and off the 2a.m. feedings by 3 months of age.I can't imagine putting up with that for a whole year. It sounds like your son is not getting filled up and is hungry.At 1 yr old my daughter was eating junior foods and table food like mashed potatoes and mashed carots mixed together and using a sippy cup to wash down food inbetween bites.Try giving him some baby fruit or a little cereal before he goes to bed to fill him up more.You may have to get tough and put breast milk in a bottle and leave it in his crib with him or breast feed in the morning and squirt some bottled breast milk on your fingers to put in his mouth and show him it tasts the same. He also should be on juices by now. He may like the taste of those but you are going to have to put up with tantrums for awhile in order to break this and be consistant. I don't know how often you are brest feeding at this point but start eliminating 1 feeding at a time with and alternative liquid and don't give in.
I nursed my son until 19months old, although I started supplementing him baby food at 6 months. I recommend you introduce food, try pureeing fresh blueberries, strawberries or cut up very small chunks of watermelon or bannanas (it is much better nutritionally to use fresh than getting jarred babyfood, plus it is actually cheaper!). Usually if they show interest in this you can add in more and more foods gradually. Try one fruit for 5-7 days, then try another the next week. Also, most babies like oatmeal, you can try this too and it is very filling for an infant. Quaker "Rolled Oats" is extremely cheap and much better than the baby oatmeal. This is going to be a gradual process so just decide on what you want to do and STICK WITH IT. If no results after trying something for a week, go on to the next. I would also HIGHLY recommend you not put him to sleep with the boob. I made that mistake myself and it was very hard to break this bad habit! I had to sit next to his crib while he cried himself to sleep 3 nights in a row to break this habit. Essentially nursing to sleep is preventing them from figuring out how to sooth themselves to sleep on their own. Something they should be able to do by 6 months (according to my doctor). Good luck!
~S. T.
With my son I nursed him until he was 21 months and I found that by working on losing on feeding a day for a weeks time really worked. I started by quiting the morning feeding, then the midday feeding etc...the last feeding to go was the bedtime one, and by then my milk had almost dried up anyway. Try weaning only one feeding at a time, it is better than cold turkey. Hope this works.
I breastfed mine until he was 15 months, mostly only first thing in the morning. He is definitely in a habit of putting himself back to sleep with the breast. Have you tried breastmilk in a bottle or cup? Other than that, I would say suffer through a few nights and stick to your guns. He does not need it- he just wants it!
