We Just Wanna SLEEP

Updated on June 08, 2008
S.P. asks from Oklahoma City, OK
18 answers

This one is a two parter...First of all, My son has night tremors as he has gotten older these tremors and got less frequent and severe. Dose anyone have any ideas on how much longer this will last?? Second, My son is a year and a half and still won't sleep through the night. He gets up about 3 to 5 times in a night. if he isn't seen to he will cry for several hours until someone will go in there the only way he can sleep through is to co-sleep. I put him to bed at 9:30pm and he has a consistant bedtime routine. He gets dinner about 8pm a bath with lavender and menthol baby body wash, a tooth brushing and we read 2 books together. By book two he is falling asleep in my arms so I know he is tired. He is a VERY,VERY active boy so i don't know if that has anything to do with it. I don't mind the co-sleeping (i sleep alone, my hubby works nights) but with a new baby on the way i am afraid his kicking will hurt the new baby. HE can't sleep with mom forever. So i am really not sure what to do. HELP!!

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B.W.

answers from Baton Rouge on

You are putting him to sleep WAY too late. A baby that age should be going to sleep around 7:30. That could very well help him sleep better through the night. I don't know about the night terrors, I haven't had to experience that....yet!

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J.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Go to a health food store. There is a tiny herbal tablet we got for my granddaughter, which disolves the minute it touches the tongue, and helped her sleep better. I can't remember the name of it. It was not a drug and had no side effects. If you ask, they will be able to help you.

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J.R.

answers from Little Rock on

YOU are not alone!! I agree with the others about bedtime,
it's definitely too late. Try putting him down around 8:30 for a few nights and gradually make it earlier until you reach
a good time that works for your son. 7:00-7;30 worked for
our son. We started him with this routine when he was about
4 or 5 weeks old. Not a problem until he turned 2 yrs. Now
we have problems with him waking once or more a night. But not the usual comfort him and put him back down. He starts
screaming before I get out the door, but we just try
comforting him until he calms down. He has also experienced
night terrors 3 times in the past month. Reading other responds got me thinking, with daylight change we had pushed his bedtime later. That has to be our problem. I definitely feel sleep problems occur more with boys. A early dinner, good nap and EARLY bedtime routine is key. Good Luck!

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R.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Try the advice in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Try putting him to bed earlier and not going to him in the middle of the night. After a few miserable nights of no sleep for anyone, he will learn this is the new "normal" and start sleeping more. He will likely be less hyper once he gets more sleep, and going to bed earlier will also help him sleep sounder through the night. This book really helped my husband and me with our 5-month-old, who has been sleeping at least 12 hours a night since then and also takes a couple naps during the day still (at 10 months). Our son is very active, but also very even-tempered. (It's probably part personality and part his sleep habits.) He falls asleep on his own in his crib, and only rarely protests longer than a couple minutes or wakes up in the middle of the night. Good luck! :)

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M.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

I kinda had the same problem with my daughter. When I got pregnant with my second, we got my daughter a toddler bed. We put it in my and my husband's bedroom right next to our bed against the wall. When she was in her "big girl" bed she could still see me and she would go to sleep (we still did the same bed time routine, but I would have dad help me since there was going to come a time in a few months when I would not be there for a couple of nights). It did take a couple of nights for her to sleep through the night but when she did, she really did. She would sleep like 10-12 hours at a time.
Also, we started to "watch" what she was seeing on the T.V. and her nightmares started to cease. It was not the kids shows she was watching, the commercials were scarring her and her nightmares were coming from these commercials. Weird, I thought, but it was just the way her mind worked.

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A.C.

answers from Tulsa on

I have a 16 month old that was getting up and down several time a night until the last few months. I was recommended the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Our daughter wanted us to rock her to sleep everynight. We now put her in bed about 8:30 and she sleeps until about 7. It took several nights of letting her cry it out but in the long run it was worth it. We would never leave her in there more than 30 minutes crying. We would go back and pick her up until she calmed down and then put her back in bed. It may be hard to do but it does work.
Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Tulsa on

If co-sleeping works, do it. Unless he is kicking VERY hard, it shouldn't hurt your baby. Or maybe instead of sleeping in your bed, you could pull a mattress into your room and have him sleep on that, so that he is still with you, but in his own space.

I think that if more sleep is what you want, then co-sleeping is the answer because then you don't have to get up and walk across the house to another room to comfort your son... you can just do it from the comfort of your bed.

No, he can't sleep with you forever, and he won't. But right now, he is still so young and needs you so much... it won't hurt anything... and if it helps, then that's a good thing.

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A.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You didn't mention a naptime in your posting, but even if he has a naptime I am thinking perhaps he should be going to bed earlier. My girls went to bed at 7 pm until they were 3, now at 3 and 5 it is 8 o'clock. They would sleep till 7:30 or 8 at the 7 o'clock bedtime and also have a 2 hour nap during the day. The adage is "a well rested baby is a well rested baby" and so what that means for moms is that the more they sleep, the better and longer they will sleep. If they get overtired and don't get enough sleep they don't sleep well because they sleep so hard, and from what you are saying about him falling asleep in your arms he is very tired by nine. This is a hard project to work on, and will only be harder when the baby comes, but maybe then you will be so busy you will have to institute his new sleeping habits. Good luck, this is one of the hardest things to do as a parent of young children.

A.

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C.B.

answers from Enid on

When he wakes in the middle of the night don't give him anything to drink or eat and don't talk to him. My grandson did the same thing your son is doing, I finally broke him a month before his 3rd birthday.

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A.S.

answers from Dothan on

I agree with Shannan. Both my children co-slept with me, but they sleep on their own now. It's sorta like nursing. I had a wonderful doctor from Canada when my DD was young. I told him one time that people were always bugging me about my extended nursing. He said that when people asked me when I was going to wean DD, I should say, "whenever she gives it up on her own, or goes off to college, whichever comes first." LOL Both my DC weaned themselves, and both of them learned to go to sleep on their own when THEY were ready. No tears, and lots of fond memories of our nights together. I actually missed it when they stopped nursing and when they stopped coming into our room. Hope this helps.

~A.~

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C.I.

answers from Fort Smith on

As wierd as this sounds, you might try moving his bed time a little earlier. I used to try to keep my first child up so that she would be tired enough to sleep better. Interestingly, when I put her to bed before she was over tired, she slept better and longer. Until she was about 18 months, she took two good naps during the day and slept from 7pm - 7am. Every child's needs are different, though. My third child doesn't sleep nearly as much as my first or second. One of my children also had a bout of night terrors at some point. I honestly can't remember when they started, when they ended or how long they lasted. Keep in mind: This too shall pass. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Enid on

I am sorry you are going through this. I suggest bringing his toddler bed / crib in your bedroom - if there is enough room. Do you know for a fact that he has night tremmors or is he just waking up alone and scared and thus bringing on the screaming crying?? Hopefully it is just the waking up alone. If so then move his little bed in your room. Or, if there isn't enough room, take the mattress off his bed and put it on the floor in your room. He is still little so take baby steps with him. For some reason my now 4-1/2 year old wouldn't sleep in her room by herself when she was little. We moved to a new house and for fear the kids would be scared in new surroundings (they were a month shy of 2 and 2 months shy of 4) we put them in the same room in the same bed. I can count on one hand the number of times they have gotten up since then (that was 9 months ago). Ok, I am rambling now. Sorry. I just want you to know you are not alone. Just remember that he is little and you don't want to turn things upside down for him and then introduce a sibling. It might get even worse. Try the bed/mattress idea and let me know. I will be praying for you.

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S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Maybe dinner is too close to his bed time. Some foods can cause bad dreams which may cause him to wake up. Plus if his tummy is trying to digest when he's laying down, it may be uncomfortable & wake him up. Trying moving supper up an hour & see if that works better.
Also, lay him down before he falls asleep in your arms. Just read one book together & let him fall asleep on his own. This way, if he wakes up alone, he won't be so surprised that you aren't there & he'll be able to fall back to sleep. Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Little Rock on

I am having my issues with this too. It is hard to put your foot down when you sleep alone (my hubby and I live in 2 different states right now) and don't really mind it. I am pregnant too & no worries, it isn't that easy to hurt the baby - lots of protection there so another kid's kicks etc. aren't really that bad.

This is going to require some tough love to get through. I suggest when you read to him you only read one book and leave him alone so he hs to fall asleep without you around. He is going to fight it and cry but it will eventually stop. I would go in and coax him so he knows you are still around but distance the time you go in. ie. the first time you go in when he is crying wait 5 min, wait another 10 before 2nd time, 15 for the 3rd time.

I am going through this now because 1 with my hubby and I moving and finally living as a family my son can't share the bed with us and 2 with a new baby on the way I wont have enough energy to deal with it any more.

You may want to try changing his bed time to earlier too depending on what hours you work too so you can make sure you are well rested for work too since you will be up for a while struggling with this for some time.

Good luck - it isn't easy

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M.O.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi
My daughter has mostly co-slept with us too. She also wakes up several times through the night. For us it was always easier to just let her sleep in bed with us. We have three kids and live in a 2 bdrm, so her toddler bed is in our room anyway. I started really trying to get her to stay in her bed (and find ways to get her to sleep w/o waking). My husband also works 3rd shift so we would have late dinners. What I found is if I feed her dinner earlier with a small fruit snack about an hr before bed she sleeps better. I guess it's because food can sit heavy on their bellies. Also putting her to bed still awake helps also because she doesn't wake in a different place than she expects. It took about five nights to get that routine down but it can still be a battle. If he falls asleep by the end of the second book, try just reading him one. It's awsome that you have a routine like you do, that gives you a great advantage of getting him to sleep in his own bed. It's best to work on it now before the baby comes than after so he doesn't feel pushed out. Good luck!

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M.L.

answers from Fayetteville on

I second the advice to move the bedtime earlier. A good book to read is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Often having trouble sleeping through the night is a sign of being overtired. Try slowly moving his bedtime up until you reach a time that seems to improve his sleeping habits. What time does he wake in the morning? My 5 year old goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps about 12 hours (sometimes her bedtime gets later, but 7:30 is what we aim for). My 10 month old just started going to sleep at 6:30 when he dropped his third nap. He sleeps until about 7:30 or 8:00 in the morning.

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A.W.

answers from Mobile on

Night "terrors" or night "tremmors"? Either way, a homeopathic from the health food store called Calms Forte could be very helpful.

Also, avoid all s

Also, bedtime between 7 and 7:30 will make a world of difference. Also 2 naps during the day.
Have you read the Baby Wise books? Excellent for sleep issues.

Hope this helps!

Congratulaions on the new boy on the way.

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M.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I can only help with the second problem. Try reading " The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She not only gives a lot of advice on different bedtime routines, but she also dives into the scientific aspect of sleep patterns. I truly believe you are putting your son to bed when he is overtired which will make him restless. You need to look for early signs of sleepiness & do your routine right then. This book REALLY helped me with my firstborn. He was a co-sleeper & I was NOT interested in having him cry for hours on end. Although I did get some tears with the advice I followed, they did not last long & I saw improvement quickly. May God bless your growing family.

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