Wants to Held by Mommy All the Time

Have you tried using a wrap or carrier to hold her while you are doing other things? My 5 month old does this and I just wear her and she is happy. I also did it with my 18 month old when she was younger and she is very secure in herself because of it. Hope this helps.

Your situation sounded just like mine, but Laura H below is right. My son did the exact same thing. I'm 40, he's my first and I work full time. But he's now 2 and it passed. But he never wanted to be held by Daddy, he wanted me all the time. If I couldn't because I had to do something then I put him down and let him cry it out and eventually he got interested in whatever was in front of him. But I just held him because he's after all my BABY. But it does pass and he gets all of a sudden to an independence stage where he DOESN'T want to be held. Trust me, it does pass. You sound just like me! I know its hard to do other things, but she's only 6 months once in her life and she loves you more than you could ever understand and wants to be close to you. Enjoy it. Once she starts walking, then she'll be pretty independent. Good Luck.

Honey, that's what little babies do! They want to be held all the time, and they want Mommy, or whoever they are most bonded to be the one holding them.

I see you work full-time, so your baby probably just misses you and wants you to hold her whenever you are around. Again, completely and utterly 100% normal. Your baby loves you!

I understand that it can be a pain, but this phase will pass.

In the meantime, get yourself a good baby carrier, like maybe the Beco Butterfly (it allows for very easy front and back carries, and keeps the weight off your shoulders)
http://www.theportablebaby.com/becobabycarriers.html

That will let you hold your baby as much as she wants and give her the cuddle time she needs, while you can continue to get your stuff done.

Also, take your baby shopping with you...why not? My babies always like the grocery store. It's easy with a baby carrier, just put your baby on, grab a cart and go! No need for a stroller, and you have the full use of your cart.

This time passes very quickly. Cuddle your baby and enjoy it, don't worry about it if you can.

Warmly,
L. Hamilton

Little babies need their mommas and since you are not always available to her she wants you to hold her all the time that you are. I would never let a 6 month old cry it out. She's only this little once...your going to blink and she'll be in school....cherish the fact that she does want you to hold her and just hold her...she obviously needs it.

Children want to be held. A lot. And that's natural. So hold her. A lot. If she's in daycare, that's all the time she's not held by her parents, so you'll have to make up for that time at home. Try it for a week, pick her up, hug her, let her sit on your lap more frequently. Watch how eventually she'll feel more secure and confident, and won't appear so "needy".

A little about me:
I'm 36, and have 3 boys (a 6 year old, a 4 year old, and a 2 month old baby)

Daughter is doing exactly what she is supposed to. She is learning how to trust you. She wants to know that you'll be back. Before putting her down, let her know what you are doing. If she has a favorite blanket or stuff animal, give it to her. Reassure her she is safe and that you will be back for her. Even if you are going to the next room, let her in on it. This will help her learn that when you leave, you will be back. Plus, one hour or one minute is the same to her, so if you share this ritual everytime, she'll connect you leaving to something positive. When my daughter was her age, I had similar experiences with her. She responded quite well. Today she is 9 and we still have a ritual before I leave somewhere without her. Kids like consistancy. I hope this helps you.

I was pressured by a lot of people to let my 6 month old son cry it out because he was not a good sleeper (woke up at least 3 times every night) and couldn't fall asleep by himself. I tried the crying it out one time for about 15 minutes, he never stopped crying and when I went in to pick him up and comfort him he continued to sob for another 20 minutes. After that for about 3 days he was not his normal happy, secure self, instead he was clingy, cried a lot and needed constant reassurance. I really think that horrible experience changed his personality for a short time and I swore to him that I would never do that to him again. His sleeping problems continued for a while and now he sleeps fine.

I think your little one just needs some extra love and reassurance from mommy. I know it can be hard and draining at times but they are only babies for such a short time. You are her whole world and she probably just misses you and wants extra love.

Follow your gut on what is best for you and your family and never let anyone pressure you into doing something that feels wrong.

Good luck!
J. from Sacramento

i know the books say to let them cry it out, they outgrow it.. but it's hard when its your child. my daycare would tell me my kids were great but my daughter would cry so hard when i left.. but i realized that it last only for my benefit. i don't know if there is a time limit on the crying.. i say 10 min at a time.. see if you can find out what she needs... and then try putting her down... keep trying... and she should outgrow it. i know, not helpful.

My oldest wanted to be held all the time. So I did. I'd say hold her as much as you can. It's hard for you cause you work full time but give it to her when you can. If this need is not met she will crave it more, not less. Obviously there are times when you have to get other things done so she'll just have to cry.
But I like Judi's advice below also.

Georgia B, this is your baby. Hold her,cuddle her,and let her spend the time that she NEEDS with her mommy. If you work full time she doesn't get to be held by you a lot. Take an hour when you first get home and spend it with just her. If you have dinner to make, laundry, dishes and other cleaning split the time up. 30 minutes with her first then a few chores and then time with her again. The house can wait. Dad can help with the house work too. You made the baby together, you share the work {all of it}. Your baby girl will not be this age forever. You will have plenty of time later to get things done. Georgia B if you are in the kitchen making dinner put her in her high chair with toys, or be where she can see you she misses you. She needs that security. When you have to go and do something do not feel guilty about the crying if you are spending quality time with her. She will get over that. Remember she is only six months.

My son does this also. I simply wear him. It promotes attachment and bonding. I use a Moby wrap because it is made of tee shirt material and I can make it as tight or loose as I want. I can also wear my baby (he's 12 months now) either on the front, back, or side. Find a good baby carrier that works for you and hold her, hold her, and hold her some more. When she's ready and secure, she'll let you know and you won't need to hold/wear her as much. If she tolerates it, allow Daddy to hold her also. Good luck with your little one!

Your friend is totally right. The reason she dosent get away with it at daycare is because she can't be held all the time and she knows it. Stop now because it only gets worse. I know from experience. I have 2 my first I held all the time and my 2nd I didn't and still to this day my 1st still has to touch me all the time it is quite anoying. My 2nd is much happier to play by himself and listens to other people much better. Try taking aspren before your first day of the new routine.

try getting her light up musical toys that she can keep her mind on. i have that problem with my son also, but i find that sometimes i can just sit him in his playpen with some bright toys and he stays content for at least a little while.

The response from Alison L. is SCAREY!!!

How sad that her measure of successful parenting is an emotionally detached child. What is so bad about children wanting to touch you and be touched. It is a normal and HEALTHY human need. That fosters secure and loving adults. Isn't that what we mommies do, raise adults?

My advice is quit your job, stay home and raise your baby. It may be difficult and you will probably have to tighten the budget but it will be so worth it to you, your daughter and yes, your husband too.

There are many terrific people that provide day care but no one will love your child like you do. Most of the time there are so many children in their care that maintenance is all that your child will recieve while you are away from them.

When does she ever get any time with you? I always thought of it as a compliment when my child wanted to be with me.
I understand that it is exhausting but raising children, especially newborns IS a FUll TIME JOB!

I know you've heard it before but at the end of our lives, people never regret NOT spending more time at work. The regrets we have always have to do with NOT spending enough time with our children, husband, parents, friends and other loved ones but mostly our families.

I am a 43 year old mother of 4 ages 22, 19, 17 and 13. I quit my job when my oldest was born and never looked back. I did odd jobs at home to help make ends meet. Eventough we didn't have alot of money, IT WAS SO WORTH IT!! Now my kids are older, my husband makes a great living and I get to enjoy my teenagers and my adult son. Now I am back in college and working on my psychology degree.

Take a leap, raise your child, have no regrets.

My youngest was like your little one. He only wanted me to hold him and no one else. If I left him with daddy he would cry until he threw up. It wasn't hard for me. I loved holding him. My daughters were very independant and did not want to be held so I enjoyed having my cuddly baby. He is now 3 and all grown up (according to him) and doesn't want as many mommy hugs. Enjoy holding and hugging your baby, she WILL grow up and she WILL reach a point in her life where she doesn't need you as much. Another way to look at it is that she works hard all day trying to deal with the world around her at daycare. When she gets home she wants the one thing that help her feel safe and relax.. her mom. Enjoy your baby, she will be grown before you know it and you will miss cuddling your little angel.

I think since you are working full time she must miss you and wants all the time she can with you. Even though you might think she is getting enough attention from her caretaker it's not you. She bonded with you first at birth and your the one she will want first. Dont let her cry it out she only wants to be with her Mommy.

My third child did that a lot more, than my first two.
But once I was out of visual range, he would stop crying.
The other thing that I did was if I wanted to do something
and I would leave him on the floor and stay in his visual
range,just so that he could see me, and not fuss. The baby
play gym was also a major source of entertainment for him,
and he loved that bouncy swing. I decided the thing had to come down when he was 16 months old and I found him in it
upside down, but not able to fall out. I panicked then
started laughing hysterically. Good luck, and things will
get better.

I agree with a lot of advice that has been given. Try to wear your child when you are doing chores. A good carrier or wrap will do. Bring her shopping with you. If she can sit up, put her in a cart cover. Both of my kids loved being pushed around in the shopping cart. At the same time, try to get your husband to spend more time with your child. It is hard since she needs you, but you probably also need YOU time! It'll be hard, but both you and your husband might need to spend time with her. You can also try some fun and interesting toys when she is having floor time! Try rotatating toys so she doesn't get bored.

My first child was also very clingy to me since birth. I couldn't even have my husband holding her while I sat next to her. Even though my husband didn't want to spend time with our first born because of all the screaming and crying, we both knew that she (and I) needed it. Now she is 3 years old and loves spending time with both of us.

Good luck!