Wanting Another Baby?

I have a 6 year old, 4 year old, and 1 year old. I am also 41 so am feeling the strain of energy requirements. However, I LOVE having all 3! I am definitely glad I had a 3rd. My husband works nights, so bedtime is a little tough with the 3 by myself, but we have made adjustments and are making it work. The older 2 absolutely love their baby brother.

Hi N., I am 60 years old and STILL would like another baby!!! haha I really think there are women who just love pregnancy and babies.

I went through that last year with my youngest turning 4. I really thought that we were done, but my husband mentioned having another, and I thought about it and agreed. I am so glad that I did. I was so past the diapers and the hauling of stuff around, but it is so easy now. It was no big deal to get back into the routine, into naps and car seats and baby food. I am loving it. I have all of this alone time with my "baby" after my others being so close together in age. If you really want this, you will so enjoy it. Even when he wakes me at night, I think to myslef, "Is this the last time he will do this, the last time I will get up with a baby?" And I savor the moments, even if I am tired. He is only little for a short time, and this is the last. It is a treasure. Oh, and never feel stuck at home. Integrate baby into your life. Get out with baby and do what you want to do. I didn't miss a beat. He was at church at 5 days old, football games of his older brothers at 2 weeks, and we haven't stopped yet. He loves it, too. He sleeps anywhere, is so good, and is very adaptable because of that. Trust me, my friend has done the complete opposite with hers and she gets frustrated easily. Good luck!

If your husband is on the same page with you, I say go for it! You'll never regreat having one more. It sounds like you may regret not having one more if your Mommy radar is kicking in. I too have two boys that are 20 monthes apart and can totally relate! My youngest will be 5 in 9 days and my oldest is 6. We are exspecting our next baby on June 6th. I too thought after having #2 that I was done, even though I always thought I wanted 3 children. Now they are older and can do so much more on thier own and while yes, that is wonderful, I feel that one more will make our family complete. I started feeling like I wanted another one after my sister had her baby 2 years ago, and I truly am so excited to be having one more miracle in our family. And I am looking forward to enjoying the baby stage this time around, with my boys they were so close and it felt like I never sat back to enjoy, I ran around with my head cut off.. so to speak. Anyway, if you would like me to update you on how things are here after the baby comes, I'd be glad to fill you in! :) Good luck with whatever you decide and enjoy your boys!

GO FOR IT! I know alot of women that didn't and are in their late 40's now and regret not having 1 more child.
I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. I was scheduled to get tubes tied during my 2nd c-section and cancelled it at the last minute. I am so glad I did. We may try for #3 next summer? Life is full of curve balls.

I am feeling the same way and I too always wanted 3 or 4 kids. My son turned 2 yesterday and my daughter turns 4 in a couple of weeks. I would love one more. I just turned 36, my husband works alot, I am unemployed and we don't see eye to eye on the kids. So I just don't know if I should go for one more.

If you are mentally prepared and your husband is on board then go for it. Or you could just borrow your sisters baby and then give her back when you are done :)

Good luck with your decision.

K.

I feel the same way. For the past year, we used no birth control but were careful. I felt that if I did get pregnant, it was meant to be. I thought I was a couple of times and that was the true test for me. Was I excited? Nervous? Disappointed? Mostly, I was excited and when I found out I wasn't, I was disappointed. But 6 months later, I again was thinking I might be, and I was scared. I didn't want to be. I was ready to move on, give my kids all the attention I could, looking forward to the freedom of when they will both be in school full time. I'm a photographer and was shooting a newborn. I loved it, it was so sweet, but I had no desire to have one of my own, so I knew I was done. Give it some time and see what happens. Leave it up to fate in the meantime...

N.,

I am in agreement with so many of the other responses: as long as you and your DH are on the same page, GO FOR IT!!! I have just a bit of a different story, as I always wanted 4 children but had trouble conceiving. I had a daughter and a son, 3 years apart - both conceived with Dr. help. Years passed by and no other baby. Then one July morning, out of the blue ... a positive hpt! My youngest, who is now 2 years old, was born 3 days before my DD's 14th bday and 3 months after my DS's 11th bday. My hubby and I were both 38 years old. And you know what? We wouldn't change a THING! HE is the light of all of our lives ... the older ones dote on him and he thinks the sun rises and sets on sister and that brother is the coolest, funniest person in the whole wide world.

I am now 40 (and a half, lol) and DH and I are still open to one more if God so designs.

I don't think you are being selfish at all ... and no, you are not crazy to go back to baby days. Just make sure it's truly what you both want - and you will not regret it! *smile*

N.,

From my own personal experience, I am convinced that women have an innate sense for how many children they are to bring into this world. We "control" it in so many ways now, but that gut instinct never goes away. At 39, I just knew I wasn't done. Did a fourth child make sense when my others were so much older? Probably not, but my husband and I both felt the desire to have another baby. Since we were both on the upper end of the age scale, we decided to put it into God's hands - no birth control, but no "trying" either. Six months later, I was pregnant and our precious little daughter is the joy of our lives. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy and a healthy, happy little girl who will start kindergarten this fall. The time has flown by and the baby days are just memories.

What I really wanted to tell you is that I am absolutely certain that we made the right decision for us. I am completely fulfilled as a mother and four children was definitely what God intended for me. During our dinner date last night, my husband asked me if I thought we should have had yet another baby and I told him that I truly feel happy and content with four. I have no regrets and life is as it should be for us. Listen to your heart. There is nothing crazy or selfish about bringing a child into the world if you can agree as a couple that it's the right thing to do.

L.

I can tell you from experience I have never regretted having my third.
My boys are 8 and 6 and my daughter is almost 22 months.
The third for me was the easiest! She is my on the go baby girl. she helps me volunteer at the boys school, she goes on field trips, the boys ADORE her!
We go a lot more with her. i think i am much more laid back so we do a lot more. However, she does not get the opportunities her brothers did. she does not get to sleep in the AM until she isn't tired as we have to go to the bus stop. She does not have a built in playmate her own age so we go to 2-3 playgroups with children her age a week.

I would not change our choice for the world. I am 40 so I doubt your DH is THAT tired LOL!!!
Good luck!

N.,

I felt like I was reading something that I could've written! My husband and I have 2 children, a 5 1/2 yr old boy and a 3 1/2 yr old girl, we have been married 10 yrs. My husband was the one that initially wanted a third child and I have now found myself wanting the same. I would have a really frank discussion with your spouse about this one just as my husband and I have done many times. We have just come to the conclusion that I would go off from birth control and if it happens...it happens and it was meant to be but we are not actively trying as of yet. You and your husband will come to the right decision for the both of you. If you think about it, there never will be a perfect time, you will never have enough money, you will always be too busy, etc. so just do what is right for you!

You have to realize, as you seem to, that it will make your life harder and you still won't have much help. If it were me, I'd go for it, but then I loved being pregnant and having little ones around to love and nurse, read to, etc. I doubt this feeling will go away and I wouldn't wait any longer. You don't say how your hubby feels about it but then it sounds like it'll be up to you to make it work anyway. If you're willing, I doubt that you'll regret it. Babies are so wonderful, don't you think?

You are not crazy and you are not being selfish. Have you talked to your husband though??? I had two boys ages 4 and 7 when my third child (a girl) was born. My boys adore her and she's the apple of our eye. Guess what... they too will potty train AND sleep through the night. If you feel so strongly about another baby that you dream about it just looking at pregnant women, volunteer to help a new mom (how about your sister) right after delivery for a couple of weeks. If the urge doesn't go away, maybe it's meant to be. Good luck with your decision. Oh, and by the way...my husband was 41 when our third one came along too.

B.

Hi N.,

I don't think you're being selfish. You're being realistic. I think one of the most important things is that bothy you and your husband have to agree to expanding your family. If he doesn't want another child, it will be harder on you. Having more children means more sacrifices and does cost more. Sure you will have to make sacrifices, but once you get into routine, it will all work out and bring you joy. Can you get the older to kids to help out with picking up their toys and stuff and maybe help you out with the baby? If everyone chips in here and there, it makes it easier. I'm 40 and pregnant with my 3rd child. My hubby is 48 and his job takes him out of state, so I'm on my own most every day with my 3 year old. I have a 14 year old from a previous marriage who lives with her dad, so she is rarely here. My husband and I decided to have another child because we wanted to complete our family and give our son a brother. Although my pregnancy has been very difficult, I'm excited about having another baby. Also, to add to our expanding family, we also just adopted a new chihuahua/min pin puppy who is just like a baby. My son loves our new dog and they've bonded well. You may consider getting a puppy before getting pregnant!!:) (just a thought)

MC

I have felt this way for almost two years now. We have 3 children, they are 14, 11, and 7. My husband had a vassectomy when I was pregnant with my youngest. I thought for sure I was done. Once my youngest turned 5 and went to kindergarten last year I have had that want for another. My life is insane and very busy, but I can not help the way I feel. So you are not alone in feeling this way. I still have not given up hope but I don't think my husband is going to give in. I posted a question as you did last year and I got 65 responses with lots of good advice. I too look at pregnant people and think oh man I wish that was me. I also watch those baby shows on TLC all day long. Good luck with the situation I know exactly how you feel

N.,

I totally know how you feel! I don't think your being selfish at all! If anything its the opposite because you have to give all your time and energy to your little ones and your husband and have only a little bit of time for yourself. Having a big family is so wonderful!! Its not always the easiest thing, but it is soo worth it and rewards are endless!! I look at my 3 little ones and thank God everyday for them. They are what make my life so happy.. and I am excited because my husband and I have agreed to have #4 and I can't wait!! I LOVE being a Mom and breastfeeding my babies. I feel like if you feel strongly that you would love another baby than GO FOR IT!! Just keep thinking happy thoughts about how it is all gonna work out and pray to God for support and it WILL!!!
BEST WISHES!!!

Having a baby is such a miracle, it would be impossible not to want another one! It seems to me that you are grounded in reality. You didn't state your age, just your husband's, and from your comment about his age I'm guessing you are younger than him. So many people get this 'urge' if they are approaching a milestone birthday, are you? I had my last at 40, and I didn't notice any difference between my third and the other 2 in terms of my energy level. This is a discussion you should have with your husband, and be patient, the answer will come to you both.

I say if you want it - go for it! I have definitely been there and can't seem to find my way out of it. I had one son with my ex husband nearly 10 years ago, and have wanted another baby since he was 2. But - my current husband had 3 girls with his ex wife and followed up with a vasectomy. Even though we would like to have more children together, the cost of vasectomy reversal in addition to all of the other child-rearing expenses (especially during the first couple of years) have prevented us from being able to do so. I have several coworkers, friends, and family members that are pregnant or have recently given birth and I find myself wanting another baby more and more and more. It is downright torturous!

N.

I too am in the same boat you are in. My kids are 7 and 6, they are 11 months apart. For the first 5 years my husband spent most of the time out of the country so it was me and me alone. (I grew up an Army Brat so I knew how to handle everything), however it was tough. For the past several months I have been wanting another as well. I am 35 and my husband 37. We thought we had it all figured out...2 kids boy and a girl and we were done. Life throws curveballs at you sometimes. So what we did...I went off of my birth control, and we just put it in God's hands. If we are blessed with another then it will happpen, if not then what we have is meant to be. I totally understand how you feel. I started to feel that way as soon as both my kids were in school all day this year for the first time. I am a stay at home mom (I do Pampered Chef on the side), but I felt the house was just too quiet during the day sometimes. I just wanted to reply to let you know your not the only one feeling that way. Good luck in your decisions,. T.

I think you have gotten some great advice from everyone but thought I'd throw in my two cents as well. I have 5 beautiful children. My husband was ready to call it quits after the 4th and I tried hard to go along with that. But I could not get over the feeling that someone was missing. I thought that was crazy since our family was already so large, but the feeling wouldn't go away. Finally in talking with my husband about it, we decided to give it a try and just see what happened. In the end I knew that looking into the precious face of our new baby, I would have no regrets but if I didn't have her, I would always have wondered. So last summer baby 5 joined our family and she has been the ablsolute joy of our lives. Go with your instinct and be happy with the outcome! Good luck.

Hi N.,
I've been there. My kids are 9,7, 5 and 1. I was 39 and hubby was 40 when #4 was born. I wouldn't change a thing, but it is definatley harder this time. I just keep reminding myself that soon he will be all self sufficient and I will wondering where my baby went.
So no you are not crazy, you just have to do what feels right for you-everything will fall into place from there.
J.

N.~ I personally have not been there but my siser is. Her boys are 14 (step son), 10 and 8 and I have a 2 1/2 year old and am pregnant again and she said it has been the hardest thing becuase it's made her want another and depresses her as her DH is fixed, and they can't. I think it is a normal thing for women to always feel like they want that baby when they haven't had one for awhile. I also don't think anyone can tell you that you should or shouldn't have another. You really need to look at all the things you'd be losing if you do and all the things you are gaining. Which I think you have done a good job at. However from that you and your DH need to make that choice. The only thing I would think about that you didn't mention is your and DH's age and health risks, and how long would this child possible have parents. You mentioned DH is 41 so when this baby was 20 your DH would be 61. Just a thought. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Just a natural tendency. You should do what is in your heart as long as you have enough love and finances; however, you will have to convince your husband that the early years will not last forever. And as they get older, you enjoy being with them and doing things with them. I had my fourth when I was 35 and everything went well. My middle two boys were 20 months apart. My husband did not want any children, but we had four lovely children, with my last being a girl. P.s. I drank a lot of orange juice before conceiving and it worked. Good Luck.

my husband and i have two girls, almost 6 and almost 2. we decided together not to have anymore, so he had a vasectomy. i cried when he came out of surgery, it made it real. but at the same time i know two is enough for us for many reasons. i find myself wanting to be pregnant because i loved being pregnant. but i too got little help when they were really young, and i know that our family is complete even though we never got a boy.
this is something you really need to see how your husband feels. and with your sister being pregnant there will be another baby around so you can get you "baby fix" i think all women get it.